by Lucy Gage
Who am I kidding, she thought. All of his parts are my favorite.
“You like my parts, huh?” Neil whispered into her ear.
“Did I say that out loud?” she asked.
“You did,” he replied. She could hear the smile in his voice.
“I love your parts. All of them. Every single one.”
“Any in particular?”
“Nope. They’re all great,” she said.
And she meant it. Yes, she liked sleeping with him, more than she’d ever liked being with anyone. But she liked every single thing about Neil, his eyes, his smile, the cute little nose she’d thought out of place before. The nose softened what might otherwise be an overly intimidating countenance. In a way, she felt like his face represented a secret window into his true self. She’d always disliked something about guys in the past, and with Neil, the longer she knew him the more she loved about him.
“There’s nothing you dislike about me?” he teased.
Meg rolled to face him. “Am I thinking out loud again?”
“Just a little,” he said, smirking in the moonlight.
“I like you so much, Neil. Everything about you.”
“Even my need to be in the driver’s seat?”
“I don’t care. I’m secure in myself. I don’t need to prove my independence. If you’d rather drive, then you should. I trust you. And after watching you drive up and down Mt. Washington and through the hills to get there, I’d trust you to drive anywhere, anytime.”
“What about the fact that I’m not much taller than you?”
“I think you’re perfect.” She touched his lips. “I can kiss you without shoes and I don’t need to be on tiptoes. You like me in stilettos and when we’re in bed together, we line up perfectly.”
“Even though I don’t meet your height requirement?”
“I’ll make an exception this one time,” Meg said, chuckling.
“It sounds like you have a thing for me,” Neil flirted.
“Oh, I have a thing for you.” She let her lips brush his.
“Good. Because I have a thing for you, too. And it’s not just a physical thing.” He cupped her face in his huge hand. Even in the dim light, she could see the love in his eyes.
Love. Does he? No. I’m just hoping for that, wanting so badly to love and be loved the same as everyone else. I’m projecting what I feel onto him. What I feel? Do I feel it? Is that what’s happening here?
“It’s not just physical for me, either,” she replied.
He smiled, a happiness on his face that said so much more than his words. “You have no idea how glad I am to hear that.”
Oh, I think I know, she thought. It’s probably at least as happy as I am to say it. He kissed her then, slowly, as if savoring every single bit of her. His hands and mouth worshiped her body an inch at a time, circling her nipples, lapping at her folds until she cried out in pleasure.
“I love that I can make you come so easily,” he admitted in her ear, nibbling as his fingers probed inside and made her squirm.
“You’re going to do it again,” she moaned.
“And again, and again until you can’t take it anymore.”
She held his face in her hands then. “Promise?”
“As long as you’ll let me,” he replied.
Forever? she thought as she kissed him again. She said, “It might be a while that I want to let you.”
“There is no amount of time that would be long enough.”
“None?” Her heart raced at the knowledge of what he could be saying. Did she feel the same?
“None.”
He eased apart her thighs and rubbed himself against her, the thick, hardness of him creating the most delectable friction. It should have made her think, ‘condom’, the way it did at the beginning, but it made her think, ‘I need you inside me, right now, just like that.’
It gave her the answer to her question. She felt as much as he did.
Before she could overthink it, she admitted, “I love you, Neil.” Her voice caught at the end and the tears came, unbidden.
“You love me?” he whispered, pausing what he was doing. He stared into her eyes and she could see his were wet at the edges.
Meg nodded, unable to speak. She’d never said it before, not to a guy, not in any sort of romantic way. It had always seemed like the guy should say it first, and even when they had, she couldn’t reciprocate.
But here, now, with Neil, it came without a thought. And she meant it. She sniffled. “I love you so much. God, I didn’t realize it until this moment, but I’m completely in love with you.”
She felt the tear drip onto her cheek. He sniffed and chuckled. “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to cry on you. I’m kind of a sappy fool.”
Meg held his face in her hands. “I know. I love that you’re a sentimental little boy under all that muscle. I love that you’re strong and smart and funny. I love that you’re confident and honest. I love that you look at me the way you are now, like I’m the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen.”
“You are, Meghan. You always have been. I love you, too. I’ve had a crush on you since I was fourteen. You only had to acknowledge my existence and I was a goner. Everything after that was like a blinking marquee that you were it for me.”
“You’ve liked me that long?”
“I have. I’ve been in love with you since you dragged me onto the dance floor.”
She laughed. “I didn’t drag you.”
“No, you didn’t, sweetheart. I went willingly and eagerly.”
“So did I, Neil. I remember that much. I have a confession.”
“You do? What is it?” he asked as he lay beside her on his side in that sexy playgirl pose she loved, his head propped on his hand as as played with her hair.
“I saw you before the wedding. At LAX. When I found you in the hall, struggling with the door key, I knew you were the same guy.”
“That really was you?” he asked.
“You knew it was me?”
“I thought so, but you looked a little different and I couldn’t be sure. I wanted to talk to you or at least look at you longer so I’d know, but Beth insisted that we leave. She was jealous when she saw our little bob-and-weave thing.”
“That was Beth?”
“Yeah. We broke up a couple months later.”
“I’m glad. I wanted to talk to you then, but when I turned around and saw her, I realized you weren’t single and I was disappointed.”
“Were you?”
“Oddly enough, yes. I chocked it up to lengthy celibacy and having been recently rejected for another guy, but it was more than that. I thought you were so sexy. You have a great ass.”
He laughed. “So do you.”
Meg chuckled. “Thanks. I told you, I’m not usually into beefy soldier types, but for some reason, I saw you and I wanted you. When I saw you at the hotel, and you said you were there for the wedding, I knew I was going to pursue you.”
Neil stifled a laugh.
“What’s so funny?”
“The guys, when I told them I saw you and that you’d helped with my bags, they all said that you were on the prowl and I was on your agenda. I told them they were wrong.”
“Well, they were. It wasn’t the way they imagine it. They all think I sleep with guys as a palate cleanser. You know, like when you swish at a wine tasting?” She rolled her eyes.
Neil nodded. “I know. They said that. I didn’t believe it. I mean, I figured they didn’t know the whole truth of it.”
Meg was touched that he’d believe the best in her, see the real woman under the facade. A wave of recognition swept through her. Eyes wide, she whispered, “You’re that Neil.”
Neil gave her a half smile, as though he knew exactly what she meant. “You remember me?”
Meg nodded, dumbfounded. How did she not see this before?
“That day at the gym, with Toby. Holy shit.”
Neil chuckled again. “You didn’t kno
w before?”
“I had no idea. But it makes so much sense.”
“What does, sweetheart?”
“It was you. All that time, it was you I was waiting for, Neil.”
“You were waiting for me? I think it was me waiting for you.”
“You don’t understand. You changed my life that day.”
“I did?”
Meg nodded. “Yes. You made me feel like a good person. Like I could do or be anything I wanted. That if I started over again, I could become the woman I knew I was meant to be before Toby painted me as a kinky, slutty, useless girl.”
Neil traced her ear lobe with his finger. “Is that why you went so far away to school?”
Meg nodded, her heart so full it might burst. All that time, she had wondered where Neil had gone, what he was doing, if he had a good life. If she’d ever know what that lingering touch meant. And here he was, lying next to her in bed, as in love with her as she was with him. She knew what it meant now.
Smiling, she said, “You liked me.”
Neil laughed. “Yeah.”
“Why didn’t you ever try to talk to me again? You know, I watched you the rest of that year.”
“You were watching me? I had no idea. I’d sneak looks at you whenever I could. I wanted to talk to you, but for some reason, every time I tried to go near you after that, my throat would close. You were at Danny’s college graduation party, and I wanted to say something to you then, but I turned into a clam.”
Meg laughed. “That’s why you looked familiar at the airport. I’d seen you at Dan’s party, across the yard. You know, then, I had just gotten out of a bad relationship and I wasn’t in a good frame of mind. The guy didn’t look anything like Toby, but he acted just like him and it made me fume if I saw anyone who reminded me of that time. Probably better you stayed away that day.”
“Is that why you don’t like guys with muscles?” Neil asked, caressing her body from shoulder to hip.
Meg nodded, admitting the truth of the matter. “Yeah. It’s not that I don’t like them, it’s that muscular guys always reminded me of Toby. Same thing with shaved heads. Hence, a general disinterest in military men.”
“I’m nothing like him,” Neil whispered.
“I know you’re not, honey. You’re a good man. You’d never have done what he did to me. He ruined my reputation, could have ruined my whole life if I’d let him, all because I didn’t want him to tie me up and make amateur porn with him.”
“You’re kidding,” Neil said flatly.
“No,” Meg replied, shaking her head. “I wish I was. All those rumors he spread about me were really about him.”
“That guy better hope I never see him again or I might rip him to pieces.”
“It’s okay, Neil.”
“It’s not okay! He hurt you! I could see it, Meghan. When I first saw you, there was this strength and vibrancy about you. By the time we spoke in that lobby, you were diminished. And it wasn’t even for a good reason!”
Tears sprang to her eyes again. She whispered, “And that’s why I love you, Neil. You’re the kind of man who would go to the ends of the earth for me, to protect me, to defend my honor. I knew, even then, that you would grow up to be that man. I could see it in you. Every time I felt lost or I was struggling after that, I’d ask myself what you would do, what you would say to me. You were like this little angel on my shoulder all those years.”
“Really?”
“I never forgot you, Neil. Not ever. It’s no surprise that I fell in love with you. I think I was always in love with the man I thought you’d be. I just never imagined I’d get another chance to see if you could love me back.”
**********
Could he be dreaming? Neil thought his heart might explode. He’d only ever wanted two things in life, to be a soldier and to have Meghan as his own. Had she really wondered about him all those years? If only he’d known.
“Oh, God, Meghan. Loving you back was never a question. I love you so much.” He kissed her, claiming her mouth with his. Pulling her into his arms, he pressed deeper into the kiss with one hand while the other wrapped around her small waist and anchored her to his body.
Her hand snaked down between them, stroked him, and he groaned. Her touch was like fire and he wanted to be burned.
“Make love to me, Neil.”
Rolling her to her back, he reached toward the condom drawer.
“No,” she commanded.
Neil’s eyebrows raised. “You don’t want to use condoms?”
“Not anymore, no. I love you. And you love me. If the…if you don’t…no. Never again.” She started to cry softly, and his lips brushed her eyelids.
“Shh, sweetheart. Okay. You’re on the pill?”
“I am,” she said. “But I’d want it even if I wasn’t. I’d take that chance. With you, I’d take that chance.”
He kissed her, overcome with love and lust and an insatiable desire to possess her, to devour her and truly be one with her. He eased inside her soft, wet heat and his senses flooded. So this was what everyone meant when they said it was better without condoms.
“I can feel every inch of you,” she moaned. “You feel so good. Never, ever again will we use condoms. I don’t want this with anyone else. I only want you.”
“Promise?” he asked.
“Yes! Oh, yes.”
He lifted her hips with his hand, driving deeper. She gasped and he nearly lost it then. Her mouth captured his, scrambling in a feverish frenzy to consume him. They were each other’s air and he didn’t need more than that, not at this moment, not ever.
Though he wanted to take her, hard, fast, claim her as his forever, he didn’t. He slowed his pace and made sweet, gentle love to her, telling her with his body that he loved her, showing her without words. Heart and soul, he was hers, had always been hers. If she’d allow it, he’d give her anything and everything for the rest of his life.
As she came, she cried, “Oh, Neil, I love you. God, I love you so much.”
When the orgasm arrived, triggered immediately by hers, it slammed into him like a freight train out of nowhere, something he’d never have expected making long, languid love to a woman. But she wasn’t just any woman.
As they came down and he enveloped her in his arms, he nuzzled her ear and said, “I’m so in love with you, Meghan.”
“Forever?” she whispered as she drifted off to sleep.
“Until the end of time,” he said, knowing she didn’t hear him.
No, she wasn’t just any woman, she was his Meghan. And if he had any say, she always would be.
Chapter 15
Meghan stepped out of the bathroom, her hair piled on top of her head in a sexy updo that made her look elegant and mussed at the same time. She wore a little black dress that appeared conservative if you looked at it quickly – it had short sleeves, a high neckline and hit just at her knee. But if you looked closely, you realized it showed off her toned arms and in yet another pair of those fuck-me heels, her legs looked miles long. The fabric hugged every single one of her curves, from her perky breasts, to her small waist, to her toned, perfect ass. She wore just enough makeup to look polished and only stud earrings and a small tennis bracelet for jewelry.
Neil had no idea how he’d make it through the evening without getting her naked in some highly inappropriate place, like a hotel bathroom or a coat closet. Damn, the woman defined gorgeous, not to mention sex walking.
She bit her lip and asked, “What do you think?”
Neil grinned. “I think I’d like to get you naked.”
“Good. Because that’s what I thought when I saw you, too. God, I love you in that uniform.”
“Like a man in uniform, do you?” He’d asked her that before; he wanted to see what she’d say now, when she was sober.
“Just you in that uniform. You’re the whole package, sexy man. Right down to that dimple in your cheek and that huge heart you let me see. It’s a bonus that you’re really smart
and fun to be around too. Plus you’re a great dancer.”
“Sounds like you might have a thing for me,” he teased, repeating their conversation from the other night, when they’d confessed their love for each other.
Playing along, she replied, “I definitely have a thing for you.” She smiled and kissed him sweetly. “Come on. We should get going so we’re not late. The sooner we make our appearance, the sooner we can leave. And as much as I like my colleagues, I’d rather be alone with you while I can.” Neil nodded his agreement.
**********
“I’m going to the men’s room. I’ll meet you inside,” Neil said.
Meg kissed him gently. “Hurry.”
He smiled. “I will.”
Entering the conference space, Meg’s eyes wandered around the room, looking for friends and colleagues. Many of the faces were familiar, but there were some people she’d rather speak with and others she’d like to avoid. Alone, it wouldn’t matter, but she wanted to make the most of the time here so she could feel good about leaving with Neil as soon as possible.
She felt arms snake around her waist. For a split second, she thought Neil had been very quick indeed, but when she realized the arms were clad in a charcoal suit and not nearly as muscular, she knew they weren’t Neil’s. The scent of cedar and vanilla, combined with cinnamon gum, told her exactly who stood behind her, even before he said, “Hola, Mojito.”
Whirling in place, Meg threw her arms around him. “Carlos!”
He hugged her tightly and kissed her cheek. “Did you miss me?”
“You have no idea. God, we have so much to talk about, novio. I can’t believe you’re here! You didn’t say you were coming this time.”
Over the years, they’d often attended conferences together. At first, it had been a way to get together when she lived in Miami and he lived in Boston. After that, it became a habit and resulted in many enjoyable sojourns with her best male friend. He kept his arms around her and she didn’t even think about it, she just let him.
