by Justin Clay
“What do you mean!?” I scream, my voice hoarse.
“There’s too many of them, too close,” he says. “This is it…We’re going to have fight our way through.”
I sigh, frustrated, taking in the Infected’s countless voices screaming, as if in pain. Tortured from the inside, and I know I cannot give up. I have to do this for Lena. For Eli. For Mikael. My parents. For everyone I ever lost that I care about. I have to keep fighting.
“June,” I tell her forcibly, “I want you to stay hidden in the Jeep, okay?”
“Okay,” she says. Her face is ashen white. But she is the bravest nine year old I ever knew.
I kiss her forehead. “It’s going to be okay.”
Aidan and I climb out of the vehicle, and ready ourselves for what will happen in only minutes time. I have my bow out and an arrow drawn, Aidan has his gun cocked, ready to shoot. I don’t think we will make it…But we can try.
The Infected are closing in; we can hear their incessant screaming more clearly now. I can taste the seconds we have left, and I swallow, prepared.
“Rian, Rian I don’t…I don’t think — ” Aidan begins but his voice is lost in a sound that we have not heard before. It’s an abrasive whistling sound, almost piercing. And we see it. A sharp angled black aircraft ascends hidden by the mountainous terrain before us. It’s followed by another just like it and I’m terrified.
“What is going…” It’s then I realize… “Oh God! JUNE!”
I drop my weapon, letting it clatter onto the ground as I race to the Jeep. I scream for her, and she appears, wild-eyed.
“We don’t have much time left,” I tell her. “We have to run!”
I grab a hold of her, cradling her into my arms as Aidan and I take off down the road, the gravel jabbing through my boots into my legs with every shaking thud. The adrenaline gives me strength and swiftness I need; we have to escape before —
We’ve only cleared about twenty feet before it happens. Before the firebombs fall. I can’t breathe, clutching onto June with all I have left within me; I don’t know where Aidan is. I can no longer see him. The sound of bombs colliding into the Infected somewhere in the distance is ear-splitting and I feel the resounding heatwave and smoky debris hit us only seconds after. I’m thrown into the air; my eyes are wide open and I see nothingness. White nothings, but I know June’s still alive in my arms. She’s shrieking; it’s the last sound I hear before the darkness consumes me.
35
WAKING UP
I’M LOST IN THE same consuming whiteness I remember as the firebombs fell. I’m drifting, passing through time. But I’m not alone. My parents are there. My mother and father. Mikael is there. Eli and Lena, and I think myself dead. Because all of them are, but there’s June. She’s with me too; she’s holding my hand. She’s telling me something but I don’t know what. I can’t understand her but I can hear her. She’s crying, and I want to wipe the tears away but I cannot. I try to lift my arms, but they won’t budge. What is happening?
“Be still, my love,” I hear my mother tell me. “Everything is all right…We are all here, for you.”
“Why? Why are you here? You are all dead?”
“No,” my father says to me, shaking his head. He becomes closer. “We’re not dead to you…We live inside of you, Rian…You remember us, so we live.”
“But I don’t want to remember…I want to forget everything…Please…”
“You must remember, Rian.”
It’s Lena, she’s looking at me caringly, patting my hand. “Why, Lena? Why?”
“Because Rian, you have to remember so you do not forget…So you do not forget who you are.”
“Who am I?”
“We know who you are,” my mother says. “But that doesn’t matter…What matters is that you have to believe in yourself.”
“I’m tired of believing…Nothing good has come of this world…This life.”
“No, I disagree,” Lena refutes. “Think of all you have done…How far you have come. That hasn’t been for nothing.”
“But I couldn’t save any of you…I couldn’t…I was helpless.”
“Rian,” Lena tells me, and I’m looking into her eyes again, “there was nothing you could have done...Death...Comes for us all...in the end. But take comfort in knowing we still love you.”
“No matter what happens,” June says to me, lifting her head and I take in those beautiful blue eyes of hers. “We love you, always.”
I wake up. The whiteness is still there, but has taken a different form. The ceiling above me is a blinding white, so I shut my eyes again. In this darkness, I feel safe. I can hear a steady beeping, a monitoring sound. The air here smells too clean. Too pristine…
Where am I?
I open my eyes again, and try to concentrate. My name is Rian…Rian Prime. I have traveled a great distance. Across America, or what’s left of it. Filled with Infected. I have a sister. Her name is June. June Prime. Where is…
“Rian,” I hear a distant voice speak near me. Although the voice truly isn’t distant; for some reason, it just feels that way. As if someone is trying to speak to me through a dream, if that could be possible. “Rian are…Are you
awake?”
Blinking I look over, my neck is stiff and the raised mattress I’m lying on rustles. I also feel the monitoring cords attached to my body in various places but I try to not think about that. Instead, I look to this person who’s watching me intently. It’s not my sister. It’s not anyone I expect, at first. It takes me a moment to realize who he is. My eyes widen, registering.
“Aidan,” I say, a bit confused. My brow furrows. “What...What are you doing here?...Where...Where am I, Aidan?”
“You’re in Seattle...well, what’s left of it,” he says quietly. “They call it The Haven...The Carriers, I mean. And you’re in their infirmary.”
My eyes light up and my heart starts to beat quickly. “What? We made it?” I lose focus and attempt to search for windows to glimpse this new world, this Haven. But this room has no windows, only four solid white walls. I suddenly feel trapped.
“June will be so happy,” I say, grinning. My eyes narrow. This is strange. Why hasn’t she shown herself yet? She must be preoccupied. She’s probably sleeping somewhere.
“I should probably go get her, so she knows I’m awake,” I say and try to upright myself, and Aidan stops me, gently pushing me back down and I stare at him, rattled.
“Aidan...? Aidan what are you doing? I need to go get my sister,” I tell him, determined.
He’s frowning at me and when I look into his grayish blue eyes, eyes that cannot provide me the comfort I’m searching for, panic begins to trickle inward. All of a sudden, it’s difficult to breathe. What’s going on? Something is not right here...
“Rian,” he tells me in the same quiet voice, “we need to talk...You need to know something.”
“No,” I say before he even tells me. My heart is leaping out of my chest. A lump is growing in my throat; making it hard to swallow and tears are already welling in my eyes. “No...No, I don’t want to talk...I just want to talk to my sister. Where is she?
“Aidan...? Aidan what are you doing? I need to go get my sister,” I tell him, determined.
“Rian,” Aidan replies, and pauses. I clench my eyes shut feeling the tears slip down my cheeks. The moment before he speaks again, in that silence I am drowning. And there’s nothing that can save me. “Rian,” Aidan goes on, “your sister...June...I’m s-sorry...She’s gone; your sister, June, is dead.”
...
Dead. The one word that carries the heaviest of weight. The coldest reality. The one word that sinks its claws into me and it is dragging me below ground into a darkness that’s swallowing. It’s a word that awakens a monster inside of you, and you lose all control. Everything becomes a blur. You don’t know what’s real anymore. Nothing feels real anymore. My sister, June, couldn’t be...dead. She just couldn’t be...There is no way. After all we have
been through...After everything, she just could not be. I couldn’t believe it.
“NO!” I scream, tears streaming. I grab a hold of Aidan fiercely. “NO AIDAN, NO! Tell me this isn’t true...Tell me!” I’m glaring at him, my face afire, and I can see his tears are no lie. He’s grimacing and I realize how tightly I must be gripping him and I drop my hands; my arms hang lifelessly beside me, as I stare upward baffled, shattered.
“I’m sorry,” he says. “I’m sorry, Rian...There’s nothing we could have done...It’s a miracle we survived the bombing...”
“What? The bombing?” I echo dumbly. Then the memories crash into me all at once with the force of a wrecking ball, and I’m breathless. I remember the dark aircrafts overhead. The high-pitched whistling of the bombs falling. The Infected. The hundreds of Infected hurtling, scrambling their way toward us with no escape. The scorching red of the blazing fire. The fire. It burns through me. The fire consumes me whole. I remember...I was holding her. I was trying to protect her. Trying to protect her...June...
“They...They bombed us,” I say to no one. “June...”
The room is spinning. I’m screaming inside. I feel bile crawl up my throat and my stomach lurches. “JUNE!” I scream, unable to hold it in anymore, tears streaming. “THEY FUCKING MURDERED MY SISTER! THEY KILLED HER! THEY KILLED MY SISTER! JUNE!” Uncaring, I begin to snatch off all of the adhesive cords hooked up to the monitoring machine in a maddened frenzy.
“Rian! Rian settle down,” Aidan endeavors to comfort me but I’m no longer myself. I rip off the white cover shrouding my lower-half, revealing my legs...no my leg.
“Aidan...AIDAN! Why....Why do I only have one? I — ”
The vomit leaves my mouth before I can help it, spewing out uncontrollably, splashing onto the sheets. Staining them a brownish yellow. The smell is putrid. Aidan has stepped backed, and all I can do is stare at the one left leg remaining on my body, wrapped up in cloth bandages. The other beyond my right kneecap is no longer there. Like my sister it too is gone.
I hear Aidan is calling for a nurse. He’s disappeared. I don’t know what to do. All I’m able to do is just lie there pathetically in my own stinking vomit crying, staring up at the white ceiling...Drifting, slowly in and out of consciousness. I don’t have the strength anymore to keep going. I’m tired of living. Without June, what’s the point? She’s what got me this far. Without her, I’m nothing. I have no reason to live. Without her, I should be dead. I couldn’t even save my own sister, dammit! I...couldn’t...I couldn’t say you little bird...I’m so sorry.
I strain my eyes, looking. There has to be a knife somewhere around here. But how would I get to it? It’s useless...I’m too weak to even move. I hear voices. People are talking hurriedly. A door creaks open.
“Rian, Rian everything is going to be okay,” I hear the nurse tell me and I manage to catch a glimpse of her face, at her kind blue eyes...much like June’s. She’s wearing a hospital mask. She did this! She’s one of them! Those fucking Carriers! They killed her! They did this! No, I don’t want you...I don’t want your help...
“Leave me alone! LEAVE ME ALONE!” I shriek, pulling away violently, my body racked with shaking sobs. “YOU...MURDERED HER! MY SISTER WAS ONLY NINE YEARS OLD! AND YOU KILLED HER! SHE WAS JUST A CHILD!”
I feel a startling prickle of a needle enter the flesh of my arm. Almost instantly, I’m losing consciousness.
“You killed...You killed her,” I mumble, my throat burning, hoarse. I’m fading. “I hate you...I hate...you...I hate all of you...June...” Rian Prime is fading. And in a matter of seconds I am lost to the dark.
The dark that has consumed this new Infected world finally came for me. I realized in those last few moments the final truth.
We are all Infected. Infected with the Dark. No one escapes Death. The True Infection. No one escapes the Darkness. Not even my nine-year-old sister June.
The Infection claims all in the end. Even myself. Even my precious, perfect sister...
June.
EPILOGUE
POSSIBILITY
WHO IS RIAN PRIME? This is the question I ask myself, standing at June’s grave. I didn’t even get the chance to see her body; the doctors here at the Carriers’ infirmary said her body had been too badly damaged for a viewing anyhow. But that doesn’t provide any comfort. Just makes me feel worse. And dealing with this strange unwelcome addition to my body: a metallic prosthetic leg hasn’t been the easiest transition into this new terrifying life here. I’m still getting used to walking with the damn thing. I hate thinking about it...
Somewhere in the distance, I hear the roll of ominous thunder. Soon after, I feel trickles of rain along my hand, dripping against the handle of the simple black cane I hold tightly. I was told the cane wouldn’t be permanent. That after a few months, I wouldn’t need it anymore. That my beautiful silvery leg, the second edition, would be enough. I’m not quite sure how much confidence I have with that belief; but, one can hope; which, in turn makes me think of June, my dead sister again.
I couldn’t even tell her goodbye because when they put her in the ground here — the Carriers apparently attempt to bury as many as they can who are not Infected — I had not been conscious. I had been lost to a deep coma for nearly a year. I was so close to death myself but for some forsaken reason, I came back instead of my sister. I wish it had been me instead of June. Aidan too had been in a comatose state but only for a month; he had been the first to awaken. Since then, I learned he visited my room in the Carrier’s infirmary every night, slept there sometimes, waiting...waiting for me to wake up until I finally did that day...
A week has past since then and I’m not sure how I’m adjusting to life here amongst these fabled Carriers. I’m not sure exactly what I was expecting but life here isn’t what I thought it would be; maybe, it’ll grow on me but I doubt it. The Haven as they call it here, is mostly above ground; there are parts which go underneath, housing more important, highly confidential areas. I figure it’s where they keep all of their weapons and ammunition, because so far I haven’t seen any of the sort, but there are armed guards everywhere. This place is a nice militaristic prison, if there ever is such a thing. The ever-silent guards are dressed in gray uniforms with yellow bandages all on their right upper arm emblemed with the symbol of a bird that’s supposed to be a phoenix; the legendary creature which rises from the ashes to begin life again, anew once more.
Is that what I’m supposed to do? Begin life again? I don’t even know where to start. All I’ve been able to do is think of June these past few days. The ghost of her image is eating me alive. Every minute. Every hour. I see her. I think I hear her whisper to me in the breeze that comes through the window at nights when I’m alone in the infirmary. I’ve remained there until housing could be provided for me, which is where I’m going today. My new living quarters. But I made it a priority to see June’s grave first.
There’s a fairly large cemetery placed just outside the gates of the infirmary, the massive cement building behind me. It’s quiet here. Peaceful, almost. They’ve planted trees along the pathways fording the individual graves, many of of them unmarked. There are at least fifty bodies buried here. All of them had a life, a story to be told at one time. And now...June has joined them.
I’m staring at her small grave covered in pebbled rocks and marked with a wooden cross. No tombstone. No name. Nothing that would signify that this grave is hers, which just upsets me more. There are only a few who knows it’s hers. Aidan being one of them. I look to the flowers I have brought her; I found some forget-me-nots growing near the Infirmary and decided to pick them for my sister. I lie the bouquet down gently onto her grave and feel the tears escape my eyes.
“Why...Why did you have to leave me June? It’s not fair...You should be here; you should be here...”
I shut my eyes, feeling my heart growing too heavy for my body. I can barely stand. What am I doing here?
“Thought I’d find you here,” I hear Aidan’s
voice emerge from nearby. I don’t even look his way. I just continue to stare at my sister’s grave, wondering how I got here.
Keep June safe, I hear my father’s word echo deeply through my skin and into my bones. I’m shaken. The one goal I had in life, I couldn’t even accomplish. I couldn’t even save her. How worthless am I?
I remain silent for a moment, feeling the wind through my hair and concentrate. Sighing, I lift my eyes from the ground. I don’t want to talk to Aidan right now; I don’t want to talk to anyone, hence, why I came here alone. The only person I wouldn’t mind talking to is seemingly dead.
“How’s your leg doing?” he asks me and I scoff.
“Just as shiny as ever,” I reply, rolling my eyes.
“That’s the spirit,” he says his usual jolly line and I know he’s grinning at this point without even having to look at the boy. I’m too busy concentrating on June’s grave, thinking...
There’s a long moment of silence between us, thunder still rumbling in the distance. The shadow we’re entrenched within from the overspread tree above wavers slightly, shifting slowly.
