by Shey Stahl
Oh, my God, I did it. I had sex with my boyfriend’s best friend. And I fucking loved it.
“Sorry,” Jeb laughed, breathlessly when he rolled to the side and kissed my cheek. “I couldn’t stop myself.”
My body was buzzing from head to toe, excitement, fear, and everything was moving through me so fast I couldn’t comprehend any emotion to pinpoint a feeling.
It wasn’t disgust. No, it was far from that.
It was in many ways…an awakening.
There becomes a point in life when you do things for others, things you wouldn’t ordinarily do.
Like going sailing when you hate the ocean.
But you go, and you endure the motion sickness and eventually vomit all over the guy and wished you’d just stayed home.
While they’re cleaning vomit out of their hair, because remember, you puked on them, they smile tenderly because you risked your own comfort to please them.
That was essentially what I was doing for Josh.
Take away the sailboat and the vomit.
In reality, it started out as something I was doing for him but there was something more powerful at play. Something I never considered before.
Had this been me all along?
JEB LEFT AROUND one that morning, with Addison, who was bummed that she didn’t get to watch. Immediately after they left, Josh fucked me on the stairs. His was more possessive than ever before, demanding I tell him that I belonged to him.
I did, because despite how I felt about what Jeb and I had done, I still loved Josh.
“Did you enjoy that?” he asked, kissing my temple.
“Which part?” I teased, curling into him.
“Jeb fucking you.”
“I did.” I swallowed over the lump forming, the fear to ask, and the eagerness to know. “Did you enjoy watching?”
Pressing his erection into my thigh, he smiled into my neck. “Does that answer your question?” he replied quietly, his gaze traveling over me, watchful of my every response.
He was hard, again, despite the fact we’d literally just finished on the stairs, showered and were in bed again.
“I…yes, it does.” My skin pricked as I asked the next question, a fresh fire of flames clawing at me. “How many girls have you done this with?”
Did I want to know the answer to that?
What if it were hundreds?
He paused before answering, a look of curiosity flashing. “Many.”
Probably hundreds.
Running my hands over his chest, I cuddled into his side, our naked bodies pressing to one another.
I welcomed this feeling, having him here to reassure me after that. It wasn’t that I needed comforting, but I did want to understand my reaction, and why I was so turned on by it.
Just thinking about Jeb—and what I just did—had me wet with anticipation of the next time and the thrill it drove through me.
“Like many as in a bag of M&M’s or many like a Costco size bag of M&M’s?”
“Maybe just a king-size bag,” he answered.
“Can I see one of the tapes?” My hand splayed over his chest feeling the pounding of his heart against my palm and the kick it gave when I asked the question.
“Do you want to see you and Jeb?”
No, I want to see you with another girl. What? I couldn’t believe I’d just thought that.
I kinda did want to see the one with Jeb and me, but first, I was curious about him and this king-size bag. Going into this, I knew Josh had probably been with a decent amount of women. He was like my very own version of Chris Hemsworth.
I had a feeling Josh had been with Addison and part of me feared the answer. I wouldn’t have minded if it had been before me, but during, yeah, I would have fucking minded.
Still, it was everything I could do not to ask. So I settled on, “What about you with another girl?”
“I’ve never taped that.”
“Oh, I thought you had. Why not?”
His shoulders shrugged, raising my head up slightly and then back down again. “I’m more visual. I’d like to watch rather than participate.”
“Would you ever participate? Like with a girl other than me?”
He considered that for a moment, and then moved me so he could look at me under the tender moonlight streaming through his windows. “I would…if that’s something you want. But not until you’re more comfortable.”
I appreciated how open he was. Though he kept it from me in the beginning, he seemed willing to help me understand why he wanted this in his life.
MY NERVES WERE buzzing Friday night as I double checked that our weekend staff would be in to cover the shifts. For years, I worked seven days a week when I was getting my business going. After a while, I became burned out and couldn’t handle it. Now I enjoyed my time away and having a social life outside of work. Even more so now.
For something I once considered taboo, a way of life I certainly wouldn’t have entertained, it was shocking to see how one experience changed my mind.
Josh had asked me if I wanted to go to a sex club in Portland with Jeb and Addison that weekend. Normally, I would have said no immediately. But now, I was enthralled with how this worked and the thrill it gave with it. It had been a week since Jeb, and I still couldn’t get him or the way Josh reacted out of my head.
So I agreed to try it out.
I told Stevie everything that happened over the weekend and having sex with Jeb. I think up until then, Stevie was assuming I would back out.
The shock on her face nearly had me laughing. It was like I’d just told her unicorns weren’t real. Which until she was twenty, she thought they were.
“You slept with Jeb?”
“No. I fucked him. There’s a difference.”
Stevie looked from the cupcake in her hand, chocolate salted caramel, to me, waiting on her reply for the cupcake, and for my confession. “And how was it?”
“Amazing.”
“Better than Josh?”
“No, not better. Just different and thrilling.”
“Wow.” Stevie laughed and set down the remains of the cupcake. “I feel like I don’t even know you anymore.”
“Why?”
“Because you were the girl who hadn’t had a relationship since college and only fucked guys you thought your family would approve of. And now you’re fucking this guy, living with him and letting him watch you with other men. Total one eighty if you ask me.”
When she said it that way, it did sound a little risky for a girl like me, but then again, was there anything wrong with it?
“Have you been on the site anymore?”
“No, not yet. I’m almost afraid to. I haven’t even checked my notifications. I guess I wanted to see what it was like first, with Jeb, to see if I could even go through with it.”
“So what made you?”
“Jeb,” I admitted. “He was completely different from what I imagined. I was really nervous but he made me feel like he wanted me, like it was all he could focus on and it made me feel…wanted.”
Stevie smiled sincerely, seeming to understand where I was coming from.
“And so what…Josh watched?”
“Yeah, he filmed it.”
“And then what?”
“He fucked me against the stairs after Jeb and Addison left.”
Stevie was so focused with what I was saying, she was hardly focused on the cupcake anymore. “Shit...you’re like a porn star now.”
“Hardly.” And then I grinned. “We’re going to a swingers club tomorrow.”
“A what?”
“A swingers club. It’s like a night club but people can have sex in like private rooms.”
Her nose scrunched. “Isn’t that like a bordello house?”
“No because you pay for it there.”
“But they charge you to get in. Isn’t that the same thing?” she teased.
In a way, I suppose it was.
I HAD NO idea what to expect from Club Sesso. All I knew
was Josh told me to dress up. As he and Jeb were working that morning, Addison took me shopping in downtown Portland.
When I first met Addison at Josh’s house that night of the party, she intimated me. She still did. I had no idea how to react around her now that I had sex with her boyfriend, and she knew about it.
“What do I wear?”
“They have a dress code, so I suppose”—Addison flipped through the racks, one dress after another—“maybe a little black dress.”
“What do people usually wear?”
“It’s hard to say. The only other time I went was Halloween.”
Addison was beautiful. Every single feature on her was delicate and defined, from her perfectly manicured eyebrows to her toes with the white French tips. Beautiful dark brown hair with tasteful light colors framed her heart faced shape. Smaller chested than me, she had curves in the right places and toned legs.
From the moment I met Addison, I felt self-conscious around her, immediately, and I began to think everyone felt that way around her. I thought maybe those feelings would fade but they hadn’t.
Taking a dress she handed me, it wasn't even close to being my size. “I'm a size six.”
Addison rolled her eyes. “No way, this will fit for sure. You're tiny.”
I wasn’t so convinced but I took it back with me.
Squeezing into it wasn't so bad. Stepping out to let Addison see was.
Her hand immediately clapped over her face. “You look hot.” Her hands went to my hips, smoothing out the material and twisting my hips from side to side. “Jeb hasn’t stopped talking about you since the other night.”
“You’re okay with it?”
Addison smiled, sexual in nature. “I was just jealous I didn’t get to join in.”
It felt strange to have her hands on me, caressing my curves, because I knew Addison had experimented with women. It made me wonder if she thought that way about me.
And then, what would I say? Was I opposed to being with a girl?
Jeb asked.
Josh asked.
I was waiting for Addison to bring it up. I wouldn't have doubted that Josh's ex-girlfriends had experimented with Jeb and Addison.
Was that expected of me now?
Most people would have ran away after finding out about their lifestyle.
Me, I was fascinated.
Looking over my shoulder, with her hands still on my hips, Addison made me look in the mirror. “See, you’re a size two. And you’re sexy. Josh is going to freak when he sees you in this.”
Running my hands over the material, I appraised myself in the mirror. “What are you going to wear?”
Addison held up a black dress she’d found that was longer than mine and slit down the front and back. It looked sinful and completely fitting for her.
Without going behind the curtain, Addison stripped out of her shorts and top, down to her bra and underwear in front of me. Then, to top it off, because no way could she wear a bra with that particular dress, off came the bra.
She had the best tits I’d ever seen. Perky, perfect nipples and then I couldn’t believe I was staring at them. With heated cheeks, my eyes snapped away from her to the hanger in my hand.
There was nothing modest about Addison. It made me actually a little more confident. Kind of like being afraid to wear a bikini in front of everyone, but because your best friend was, you suddenly felt comfortable.
Addison and I ended up buying the dresses, and then we met the guys back at the hotel room. We had separate rooms, which kind of surprised me because I half expected them to share.
IT WAS NEARING eight when we made our way to downtown Portland and Club Sesso. Everywhere I looked, girls were grinding on other girls and men. It was like nothing I’d ever seen before. I stayed close to Josh, who kept a firm grasp on me the entire time. I loved the protectiveness that radiated from him, but also, the way he watched other men respond to me. It fascinated me he was turned on by it.
We found a booth in a corner and ordered drinks, anything to relax myself. The club was well decorated, upscale and clean. On the dance floor, they had a wet t-shirt contest with a sexy video playing in the background of girls dancing together. They had everything you could imagine, full bar, food, private rooms, an orgy bed and a sex swing room. Inside the rooms, Addison told me they had amenity baskets with condoms, lube, wet towels, and sanitizer, along with private or group showers and beds.
Drinking my third rum and Coke, “The Hills” by The Weeknd rang through the club, pulsating, thumping, bodies grinding into one another.
Everywhere I looked beautiful women and throngs of people moved effortlessly with one another in fluid motions. The sensuality, the sexual passion in one room was buzzing, controlling conversations and the women, catching reactions from men.
One bartender was flirty with Jeb and Josh, and made me realize they’d been here before, maybe multiple times.
“Have you been with her?” I asked Josh, low and in his ear, hoping he heard me over the music.
Glancing up to see who I was referring to, he gave me a tentative nod. “Yes, a couple times.”
My heart pounded with the idea of how he was with her.
Shifting in the seat next to me, his mouth was at my ear. “Listen, if there is something, anything you’re uncomfortable with, I need to know now.” He waited for me to interrupt, to tell him I wanted to leave but that was the last thing I wanted. “People come here to have sex and if you don’t want me with anyone else, I need to know now.”
“I think I’m comfortable with it,” I told him, unsure of my own words and he knew it.
Smiling, he tucked me into his side, his arm firmly wrapped around my shoulders. “You don’t have to agree to anything you’re not comfortable with. Just remember that.”
Josh asked me to dance with him, sensing how tight and rigid my posture seemed.
Within a minute, I could feel his erection digging into the crack of my ass, becoming more pronounced as I moved with him. It could have been from my movements but then again, there were literally naked women everywhere you looked.
“You’re the sexiest woman in here,” he whispered.
“Not compared to Addison,” I said with hesitation.
Fuck my insecurities, a drink or two made me speak my mind.
He shook his head immediately. “Not compared to you. You’re fucking breathtaking.” He gasped, welding his mouth to mine. “I guarantee everyone is thinking I’m the luckiest bastard in here.”
I pressed myself into him, twisting around so I could wrap my arms around his neck. Given the place, I raised my leg up and he caught it, grinding into me. The way he angled my hips in the motion, I felt him hard and solid right where I needed him. I was so turned on by all this I didn’t know how to react. I was ready to have him fuck me in front of everyone.
The feeling took me by surprise.
Why did I want that? None of it made any goddamn sense to me.
Arousal pricked my skin, Josh’s arms circling around my waist as he kissed me passionately, my damp center continuing to slide against his rock hard cock, savoring the feeling, the excitement.
Josh’s hand slid over my curves and between the valley of my breasts, kneading them with roughness. “Fuck, babe, I’ve created a little vixen, haven’t I?”
“You sure have,” my wetness began to seep through my panties, “Mr. Daniel.”
“Fuck.” He growled, kissing me forcefully. “That’s so hot.”
Jeb and Addison moved to the dance floor with us, as did a couple around our same age, who introduced themselves as Asher and Nathalie. They were sweet and he was fucking gorgeous. He looked Hawaiian and had his hands all over me. I understood that was how this worked. It was a swingers club. People came here to have sex.
The pounding base guided my movements with Asher, watching the way Josh danced with his wife, Nathalie. His hands were eager, gliding over her curves and thicker assets of her hips. Nathalie was beautiful
with long curly blonde hair, golden skin and just the right amount of thickness. I admired how well she filled out that white dress, and the fact that she was wearing white.
With her nipples visible through the white cotton, Josh moved his large hands up over her curves and to her breasts, his mouth on her neck, sucking and kissing. I wasn’t jealous.
I was fucking turned on.
Josh watched me, his eyes focused on mine, hungry, passionate and everything I wanted them to be as he grinded into Nathalie. My thighs clenched and I knew then for sure, I wanted to see Josh with another woman.
When the song was over, Asher reached for my hand and nodded upstairs.
So this was where we went to a private room?
Turning, I glanced at Josh to see he gave his nod of approval and followed us, as did Nathalie, Jeb and Addison.
Once upstairs, the door latch closed behind me and my pupils adjusted to the low-light.
The club had rules for everything. You were informed of them the moment you walked inside.
No cell phones.
Ask before you touch.
No means no.
Do not stalk people.
Treat everyone with respect.
Do not open closed doors.
Do not interrupt others.
Do not be creepy.
Do not masturbate outside play areas.
Clean up your own mess.
Use common sense.
They seemed simple enough and something most would have known. As we walked toward the room, I completely understood the need for the rules.
They couldn’t have picked a better song for the play room. Jeb locked the door as the opening beats of “Closer” pulsed through the room. Only it wasn't the version I knew. It was the precursor version. The pulse of the bass vibrated in my chest, bumping with the erratic beating of my heart.
The room was dark, plushness throughout in dark red and black décor. The elegance made me feel like I was in some posh Vegas club.
I felt Josh’s touch first, on my hip as he drew me back into his chest. His breathing was the same, thumping wildly against my shoulder blades, hands low and on my hip bones. Hot lips found the pulse on my neck with tenderness before he nipped at the vein, his lips curling over the same spot. His tongue was next. All the while, my hips swayed back into his, grinding sensually into him.
