Wine and Whiskey (Surviving Absolution #1)

by Nikki Belaire

  “I just want to be with you and not think about anything else for a while.” A hint of despair tinges her voice.

  His conscience wins. He’ll be everything she needs tonight to know his love is worth the sacrifices she’s been forced to make. “Then that’s what we’ll do.” He guides her to the side of the bed. Her robe drifts to the floor, and she lies down, reaching out for him. The despondency in her eyes reflects how much she needs his comfort, for him to make her feel safe and cherished. “Roll over.”

  She drops her hand and raises her eyebrows, the trace of a smirk on her pink lips.

  Shaking his head at her question, he laughs, enticing her real smile to finally emerge. If only for a breath, she’s happy. Because of him. In spite of him. “Just do it.”

  His fingers dip into the little jar, and he rubs his hands together, warming the lotion before touching her delicate skin. A small sigh escapes her lips as he glides his hands down her back. The muscles relax under his palms, and he kneads her neck and shoulders, fighting every desire not to follow his fingers with his lips, ignoring the twitching of his groin at her tiny mews of pleasure.

  After a few minutes, she lifts up, but he gently presses her back against the mattress. She deserves so much more than just a brief moment of pampering. Softening under his hands, she closes her eyes and smiles as she snuggles back in. “Is it true you’ve never had anyone waiting for you before?”

  “Yeah, why?”

  “We’ve never talked about it, and I didn’t know if you’d ever lived with anyone.”

  He sits next to her, caressing the curve of her lower back, so beautiful without those bruises marring her ivory skin. “Am I doing it wrong? It’s only the second day. I can do better.”

  Her body shakes from laughter. “No, you’re doing fine.”

  “Good. I didn’t want to scare you off by being a bad roommate.”

  The long, low rumbling of his stomach makes her giggle again. This time, he lets her roll over, intoxicating him with her soft smile and bright eyes, amplifying his guilt for the dirty thoughts rolling through him at her naked body lying beside him.

  “Come on. We’d better get you fed.”

  God damn, she’s fucking beautiful. His breath hitches as she slides on tiny panties not even worth wearing. Her graceful fingers brush across her pink nipples before fastening the clasps of her white, lacy bra between her breasts and pulling on her dress. She slips her hand into his and leans against his shoulder as they walk downstairs, grounding him with her intimate touch, an aching reminder she belongs here with him, no matter how long it takes her to believe it.

  Rosemary and lemon permeate the air, making his stomach growl louder. Marta stands next to the stove, slicing roasted chicken onto a plate over potatoes and green beans. “Thank you, Marta. I’m starving.”

  “Is new recipe, but good. You eat then I come back.”

  Shae pours wine for herself and water for him along with a small tumbler of whiskey. “It’s okay, Marta. We can clean up.”

  “No. Is my kitchen. I keep everything proper. You leave to me.”

  Sparkles dance in Shae’s eyes as she shakes her head after the housekeeper leaves. “You’re so spoiled. She won’t even let you put away your own dishes.”

  He puts up his hands in defense, unwilling to be in trouble with her too. “She’s very territorial about her kitchen. You wouldn’t believe how she fussed at me after I cooked you dinner.”

  Her eyes widen, guilt furrowing her brow. “But we cleaned up everything.”

  “Not to her standards. I didn’t know my first time would also be my last time. So, it’s a good thing I don’t have to try and impress you anymore with my cooking skills.”

  She gives him that shocked look again, like no one ever surprises her with little gestures to remind her how much she’s loved. Confirming even more Evan’s an idiot and never deserved her.

  “That was the first time you ever made dinner for a date?”

  He nods, meeting her deep gaze as she studies him, as if trying to really see him, really understand what’s underneath.

  “I guess I thought…” She smiles at him, the genuine one he would give up everything he owns to see. “It doesn’t matter. You make me feel very special.”

  Max clears his throat before walking into the kitchen and grabbing a plate, piling on meat and vegetables. “Sorry to interrupt, but Carter’s on his way in. He has the acquisition contract from Janice for you to sign.”

  Shae laughs as she pours glasses of water and whiskey for Max too. “Didn’t you get enough the first time?”

  “This is my midnight snack.”

  She glances at the clock on the oven before sitting down next to Nick, her hand sliding onto his thigh. A feeling of home stirs in his chest he hasn’t felt since childhood. “But it’s only eight-thirty.”

  “What can I say? My stomach can’t tell time.”

  They turn toward the laugh coming from the doorway. Carter smirks and nods toward Max. “That’s not the only thing wrong with you.”

  Max points his fork at him. “You’d better be glad there’s a lady here, or I’d tell you what’s wrong with you.”

  Rolling his eyes, Carter reaches out his hand to Shae. “Hi. I’m Carter.”

  “It’s nice to meet you. I’m glad to finally confirm you’re real.”

  He scrunches his face in confusion. “You thought I wasn’t?”

  “You’ve been an enigma to me all this time. Max always says ‘Carter’s here’ or ‘Carter needs to meet with you.’ But I‘d never actually seen you. I thought maybe it was code for trying to get rid of me.”

  “You’ve figured us out.” Carter winks at her and shrugs his shoulders. “I’m an actor posing as Nick’s cousin to help him escape from you.”

  “Cousin? Well, now I’m really glad to meet you. I can’t wait to hear about him growing up.”

  This could be trouble. She’ll love to tease him about Carter’s exaggerated tales. “Zip it, Carter. She doesn’t need to hear any of your stories.”

  “Well, don’t tell her that, dumbass. Now, she’s going to want to know even more. Just sign your name.” Carter taps on the papers and pushes them closer to Nick. “My dad and Nick’s mom were brother and sister, and we were always hanging around together. I was even there the only time Nick ever got yelled at by his mom.”

  And here we go. Nick swallows down his bite. “What do you mean you were there? You caused it.”

  “Focus on your papers, and let us talk. Anyway, this one time, we were maybe eight or nine and trying to build a fort. We got the bright idea to use sheets and blankets and grabbed all the ones off the beds and in the linen closet. Then, it started to rain, practically a fucking hurricane.”

  Her hands fly to her face, covering her mouth. “Oh no!”

  “So, we ran around trying to get everything and drag it back into the house. By the time we got them inside, they were covered in mud. The floor was filthy and most of the blankets were ruined. Aunt Beverly was usually a quiet, easy-going lady. but this time, she was livid.” Carter leans his head back and laughs. “She yelled at us for a good twenty minutes. I think she might’ve even let loose with a curse word or two.”

  Nick puts his fork down, the bile burning in his stomach. Her anger had just been a cover for her fear, of the punishment she would receive when his father came home, how she would suffer for the boys’ innocent mischief.

  “What did you do?”

  “We stuffed everything into trash bags to go to the laundry and mopped the floor. She felt bad about yelling at us and made us hot chocolate when we were finished.”

  “She knew you were good boys. I’m sure it was easy to forgive you.”

  Nick smiles at her, trying to let go of the past and focus on the joy sitting next to him, her gentle touch soothing his pain. “Me, yes. Him, it’s not as clear.” He slides the papers back to Carter. “Now, take your papers and get out. You’re interrupting my dinner.”

 
; “Fine, I’m going. But I’ll be back to tell her some more stories. So you better be nice to me…” He looks at Shae and raises his eyebrows. “Because I know everything.”

  Her sweet laugh is a reminder of the first day he brought her home. Even then, there wasn’t any doubt how happy she would make him. He has to do everything he can to do the same for her.

  When they’re alone again, he squeezes her hand. “Are you going to tell me what happened with Jason?”

  She looks down, tracing the stem of her wine glass. “He’s just worried. He’ll come around.”

  “Shae?”

  “It will hurt you, and I don’t want to do that.”

  She protects both of them, a shield between the men in her life who can’t get along. A role she shouldn’t have to play. “You or Max should have let me know you were upset.”

  Her head flies up, worry darkening her eyes. “Don’t be mad at Max. I asked him not to. You would’ve gotten mad and raced home, but there wasn’t anything you could do. You can’t change Jason’s feelings.”

  “No, but you don’t have to hide the truth to protect me. We have to be honest with each other, remember?”

  “Okay, I promise not to keep things from you.”

  After a few minutes, he tries a new subject. “How was the meeting about your trip?”

  Her face lights up. The first sign of her normal, happy self he’s seen all night. “Good! The early reviews are strong, so they’re expecting a lot of coverage at the premiere.”

  “What will we do exactly? I have no idea what to expect.”

  “I have to walk the red carpet to be interviewed and photographed. Then, the whole cast and crew watches the movie together. There’s usually a party afterward. It opens across the country on Friday.”

  He winks and lays his hand on top of hers. “You Hollywood types go all out, don’t you?”

  “You have to build excitement so people will want to go and see it. I know I’m supposed to be nonchalant about it, but I’m pretty excited.” She entwines her fingers in his, her face glowing with happiness. “This is the kind of thing I dreamt about as a kid, and I can’t believe I actually get to do it. I’m happy you’re going with me. I love sharing it with you.”

  “Thank you for asking me.”

  “We’ll leave on Tuesday, because I have a wish event in Missouri for a little girl in remission from leukemia.” Pink flushes across her cheeks, and she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. “She’s having a Shae birthday party, and I’m going to surprise her when they sing and bring out the cake.”

  His heart races at her modesty. She’s popular enough to be a party theme and almost too shy to tell him about it. “I’m sure she’ll be thrilled.”

  “Yeah, I love doing stuff like this. I think I have more fun than the kids do. Anyway, the premiere’s on Wednesday, and the rest of the week I’ll do the talk show circuit. Gail surprised me; she was able to finalize the agreement for me to be the musical guest on Saturday Night Live.”

  “It’ll be wild to see you on the big screen and then TV.”

  “That’s why I said it’s a dream.”

  After finishing his drink, he takes his plate and glass to the sink. Max walks in rubbing his hand across his forehead. “Carter’s back. We’ve got a problem.”

  She squeezes his hand, offering an uncertain smile, trying to comfort him. “I’m going to say good night to Carrie. I’ll see you upstairs.”

  * * * *

  Returning to the house a few minutes later, she stops at the raised voices coming from Nick’s office.

  “You’re distracted, and Juan took advantage of it. Others are going to try the same thing if you let this slide.”

  A shudder rocks her body, and she wraps her arms around herself, trying to banish the coldness creeping over her. All of Carter’s earlier mischief is gone, replaced with pleading worry.

  “I’m not distracted. Brett fucked up, and now we’re stuck cleaning up his mess.”

  Her heart aches at Nick’s words. He sounds tired, a rare hint of uncertainty tingeing his tone.

  “Yeah, you lost two big shipments, and Ricky was almost killed. This is going to be hard to recover from. You’ve got to hit hard and send the message you’re one hundred percent focused.”

  “I don’t have anything to prove. Juan ran home scared, and if he tries to come back, he’ll be taken care of.”

  She should walk away, stop listening to their argument. She doesn’t want to know this, doesn’t want to think about the dangers of his business or what they have to do to survive.

  “Listen to me. You look weak. Everyone knows your head’s not in it. Shae’s sweet and all, but you can’t let her ruin everything we’ve worked for.”

  She freezes at the mention of her name. Carter blames her. Wants her gone.

  “Leave her out of this. It has nothing to do with her.” Anger and hurt twist through Nick’s voice.

  He refuses to let her defend him, and now he’s in the same position, standing up for someone he loves, fighting those who are against them.

  “If you don’t do something, the threats are going to keep coming. You can’t let her be the reason you’re destroyed. You need to get your mind off that girl’s pussy and back on your business before—”

  She jumps at a loud pop followed by a crash and glass breaking.

  “Damn it, Nick! I think you broke my fucking nose!”

  “If you weren’t my cousin, that would be the least of your fucking worries. Now get the fuck out!”

  Carter stumbles out of the office, hunched over with blood pouring down his face. The office door slams shut behind him as the heat of humiliation courses through her body.

  A bitter pill to swallow, knowing what he really thinks of her—nothing more than a dalliance Nick should end. But she refuses to run this time.

  Taking a deep breath, she follows the red trail into the kitchen.

  Her anger at Carter’s comments subsides at his pitiful state. Bent over the cast iron sink, his sun-bleached hair hangs in his face as blood streams down his chin, his knuckles white from gripping the sides. “Here, let me help you.”

  She pulls out the sprayer nozzle, and using her hand to buffer the force, gently rinses off his nose and mouth. Pink tinted water swirls on the white enamel before flowing down the drain. “Pinch your nose shut, and I’ll get you some ice.” After grabbing a dishtowel, she wraps ice cubes inside the terrycloth and holds it against the bridge of his nose.

  He flinches at the pressure, but doesn’t pull away. “Son of a bitch. That hurts.”

  “It’ll help keep the swelling down.”

  He feels for the stool behind him and sits down, closing his dark blue eyes, the only similarity between the two cousins. His lithe surfer body, tense from the pain, contrasts with Nick’s thick, muscular build. “How did you learn to treat broken noses?”

  “Watching the medics while we were on tour. You’d be surprised how many people get hurt during rehearsals and shows, and the regular goofing around that gets people in trouble. Everybody drinks on their days off.”

  A shudder runs through his body after he leans back against the counter. “So, I guess you heard everything.”

  Enough to humiliate her that he thinks the only interest Nick could possibly have in her is between her legs. Crudeness replaces his earlier charm as he faults her for their problems. “I didn’t realize you think so little of me.”

  “It’s not that. I was just pissed and trying to get Nick’s attention. I know I pushed it too far.” He gingerly touches the tip of his nose. “Learned that lesson.”

  “You’re the second person today who’s said Nick and I shouldn’t be together. It’s not a good feeling to know the people you care about are against you.”

  He opens his bloodshot eyes, already puffy with purple and black streaks. The reminder of Nick’s anger will be obvious for weeks. “I don’t think Nick gives a damn if I like it or not.”

  “I’m sure he’s h
urt you don’t trust his judgment.”

  “I used to. Lately, it seems clouded.”

  Drops of water dribble down her arm from the improvised ice pack, and she tosses it into the sink. Unwilling to let him see her cheeks burn with embarrassment, she doesn’t turn back to face him. “By me?”

  “We live in a very dangerous world. He needs to stay focused or—”

  “That’s enough, Carter.” She jumps at Max’s hard voice in the doorway. The irritation leveled at Nick’s cousin evaporates as he talks to her. “Thanks for helping him. I’ll take over from here.”

  Not wanting to be in the middle of another argument, she welcomes Max’s dismissal. Finding Nick is more important than disagreeing with Carter. “Okay, thank you. Can you please find him some Tylenol?”

  She walks through the foyer and knocks on the office door before pushing it open. “Can I come in?”

  Nick strides toward her, blocking the entrance. Another attempt to protect her from the violence of his world, especially when it’s instigated by him. “Let’s go outside. We can talk on the deck.”

  The destruction from Nick’s rage mars the room behind him. The toppled bookcase, along with papers and glass bottles strewn across the floor, reflect the physical effects, while the creases on his forehead reveal his emotional devastation. “We don’t have to leave. I know what happened.”

  “You heard?”

  She swallows down the bitterness and nods. “I’m a distraction.”

  He steps backward and lets her inside. Absentmindedly massaging his hand, his fingers trace the scratch across his knuckles. “God damn him.”

  The last twenty-four hours she’s felt the stab of disapproval from the people she loves, and now the knife moves to him. “Carter’s not the first person to say we shouldn’t be together. We’re going to have to get used to everyone being against us.”

  “Fuck all of them. We don’t need anyone’s approval.”

  Fury flames in him just like the night Juan kidnapped her. The side of Nick she so rarely sees, yet understands the devastation that can come from it. She must calm him down, bring him back from the anger engulfing him. Cupping his cheeks, she tilts his face toward hers, meeting his angry gaze. “Even if Carter and everyone else are right, I can’t change how I feel about you.”