Wine and Whiskey (Surviving Absolution #1)

by Nikki Belaire

  “I was worried you regretted asking me to marry you.”

  Like a knife to his chest, her uncertainty almost undoes him, panicking at the realization he almost destroyed the one thing he needs to live. “Never. Loving you is one of the few things in my life I’m not sorry about.”

  Her lips find his again, and she swirls her tongue inside his mouth. Ripples of pleasure roll through him from the intensity of her kiss, her moan melting the tension gripping his muscles. One touch from this beautiful angel can bring him to his knees, where he should be, begging for the forgiveness he doesn’t deserve.

  Over and over, he plunges into her, letting her sweet essence heal his torment. To erase the image of her crumpled on the ground at the vineyard, the thought of Spencer holding her down, his hand over her mouth. The fear drenching her words as she talked to Marta while he stood on the steps after searching for her. A rare moment of powerlessness, with an army of his men scouring the house, unable to interrupt and pull her away to show her everything she means to him.

  Thank God for Marta. If not for her, Shae probably would have left, and he’d be going crazy, rather than holding her against him. The intensity of her urgent touch a reminder of what he can lose—she told Evan yes too, and now she’s in his arms. Her damp hair swishes across his shoulder as he buries himself deeper inside her. He can’t fuck this up, can’t wake up a year from now alone, with her in some other man’s bed.

  Their hands entwine, and he kisses down her arm as it lies against the smooth surface of the shower. The hot, moist air fills with her flowery scent, consuming him with a drunkenness more powerful than any other addiction. “You never have to doubt my love for you.”

  “I don’t. I know how much you love me.”

  Her breathless whisper pushes him to the brink, taking him to the only heaven he’ll ever experience. “And how much I want you to be my wife.”

  “Yes.” Her voice breaks as she cries out his name, trembling in his arms. His forehead presses against the cool tile as his body jerks against hers. They belong to each other again.

  He caresses her hair as her breathing calms, her lips pressing tiny kisses against his neck. After a few moments, she rises from his chest and rubs his cheeks. “I need to take a real shower.”

  The perfect opportunity to shut out the rest of the world for a little bit longer. “Do you want me to wash your back?”

  “I would love it.”

  She kisses him softly before sliding down his body, his muscles relaxing at the happiness in her eyes. Her smile never fades as she pours creamy, purple body wash onto a pouf and hands it to him. All the uncertainty from earlier is gone. She accepts his apology and welcomes his love.

  As he glides the mesh ball across her delicate skin, her head droops forward, and he runs his tongue along the curve of her neck and across her shoulders. “I’ve wanted to do that since the plane.”

  “I would’ve liked it, but I’m not sure what Max and the guys would have thought.”

  Enticed by her silky skin, he continues downward, placing kisses along her spine to the small of her back. She gasps as his hand slides between her legs, caressing her soft folds, the little nub throbbing under his fingertips.

  She grips his hair and leans against his shoulder. “You’re supposed to be washing me.”

  “It’s hard to make you clean when I have such dirty thoughts.”

  “Then I’d better take over.” She winks before sliding the loofah out of his hand and rubbing it down her arms and across her stomach.

  Desire flames in every taut nerve as her soapy fingertips brush across her breasts and trail down her stomach. She circles over each thigh before he cups his hand over hers, squeezing the mesh sponge. Unable to resist, he moves their hands between her legs stroking softly, lather bubbling between their fingers. Her eyes close from his fingers dipping inside her, teasing the special spot she loves.

  A smile crosses her lips as she leans against him. “You’re doing a terrible job of washing me. I think I’m going to have to fire you.”

  “Give me a second chance. I have other skills that might make me worth keeping.”

  Her bubbly laugh echoes across the tile, and she shakes her head before pushing his hand away. Leaning across him to hang her pouf on its hook, her nipples brush his chest, making his breath hitch. Orchids mix with citrus as she rubs his soap between her hands, generating a thick lather. Her fingertips trail down his chest and stomach before moving behind him. Skimming across his shoulders, she massages the muscles in his neck. Just as he begins to relax under her magical touch, her hands slide down his torso and grip his length. His body jolts like lightning at her touch. “What are you doing?”

  “Showing you my talents.”

  A deep moan radiates from his chest as her feathery caress turns more urgent. Hand-over-hand, she strokes him from base to tip and back again. “You have no idea what you do to me.”

  She runs a fingernail down the wiry vein of his twitching shaft. “I think I know.”

  Loathe to end the ecstasy, he must regain control. This is his apology to her. Her hands fall away as he turns around.

  Hands on hips, she tilts her head and raises her eyebrows, a playful smirk gracing her pink lips. “Am I not meeting your needs?”

  He shakes his head. “You’re more than qualified, but I need to take care of you.”

  “You always do. Now, it’s my turn.”

  Before he can stop her, she presses her palms against his chest, and he allows himself to be lowered to the teak bench. Grabbing a towel, she places it on the floor and kneels down in front of him. Without her even touching him, his body begs for release.

  Water droplets run down her face as she tickles him with her fingernails. She’s beyond sexy, smiling at his body’s reaction to her touch. Her thumb circles the tip, making his body quiver. Licking her lips, she bends forward and takes him into her mouth. His hips jerk as she grazes him with her teeth before pulling him in deeper with her tongue. She swirls and sucks at a leisurely pace until he’s almost to the point of no return.

  He grips the edge of the seat, fearful of his response to the pleasure she gives him. Her speed quickens, and she nips him one last time before he can’t hold back. “Shae…”

  Withdrawing from her mouth, he wraps her in his arms and leans forward. He stills at his release and then relaxes against her, a sweet exhaustion overcoming his body.

  Her warm breath tickles his ear. “Why didn’t you let me finish?”

  “I thought it might be too much.”

  “I’m not the delicate flower you seem to think I am. I can handle you.”

  His laughter fills the cavernous room. “Believe me, I know you can.”

  They finish their showers and walk hand-in-hand to the bedroom. All he can think about is curling her body against him in the cool, soft sheets. As she lifts the new comforter, the realization hits him.

  Fucking Spencer.

  Grasping the back of her negligee between his fingers, he keeps her from climbing into the bed. “I can’t be with you in there. Not after what that bastard did.” The hint of a headache brews in his neck, and he massages the tense muscles. “We’ll get a new one.”

  Concern darkens her eyes, and she picks up her yellow comforter from the sofa and takes his hand, guiding him to the guest room across the hall. After she fluffs the blanket over the bed, he slides in behind her, letting her peacefulness engulf him.

  She gathers her hair together and tucks it behind her as she snuggles into the crook of his arm. “We’ve had the sex part. Now, it’s time for the make-up.”

  “There’s nothing to make up. You’re an angel, and I’m an ass.”

  A frown mars her beautiful face before she props up on her elbow. “Please don’t say that. You’re a good man. You always take care of the people you love.”

  “Yeah, I promised to take things slow, and instead, I pressure you to marry me. You didn’t tell me about Spencer because you’re too nice to let
him get what he deserves.” He presses his curled fists to his eyes. The truth hurts him probably even more than it does her. “I love you because you’re sweet and gentle, and then I turn around and punish you for it. I’m no better than Evan.”

  “I said yes because I want to be with you. Not Evan or anyone else. Just you.” Conviction fills her voice as she searches his face, needing his confirmation.

  He drapes his arm around her shoulders and pulls her back to him, trying to soothe her vehemence. And his shock at her insistence, her desire for him to believe her commitment to him. He’s a lucky bastard for her to love him like this.

  “I believe you.” He kisses her forehead. After a few seconds, her body relaxes, and she cuddles against him. Now, it’s time for his real apology. “I’m sorry I hurt you.”

  “I know, but you had the right to be mad at me. I should have told you what happened right away.”

  “I was angrier with myself more than with you. I hate that you’re afraid of me.”

  “Not of you. Just of what you’ll do. I was trying to protect you.”

  The irony makes him laugh. “I’ll do anything to protect you, and you’re doing the same for me. I guess that’s why we belong together.”

  A nervous tell, she draws patterns on his stomach with her fingertip. “Last night made me realize how much it must have hurt you when I pushed you away, when I ran for no real reason.”

  “I promise not to give you any reason to run. You just have to tell me the truth, no matter how bad it is, so I can take care of it.” It’s his turn to uphold the promise of no secrets. “Spencer planted bugs throughout the house. Most of them were in our bedroom and my office. That’s how he knew our plans and set us up. If he recorded my conversations with Carter and Max, he could use them against me.”

  She pauses, her hand gripping his waist. “I couldn’t figure out what he wanted. I never thought about him blackmailing you too.”

  “We have to find out who Spencer really is and what he wants. The only thing we know so far is everything from the school for his internship with me was falsified.”

  “What do we do now?”

  He kisses her forehead again. “Go to sleep. I’m exhausted and can’t think anymore.” She snuggles in closer, eliminating the last of his tension, allowing him to succumb to the darkness washing over him. “I love you, sweetness.”

  Her hand entwines with his. “I know, fiancé.”

  * * * *

  The battle between her closed eyes and full bladder comes to end. She can’t hold it anymore. Smiling to herself, she knows no matter how carefully she slides out of bed, Nick will wake up and reach for her. Her feet sink into the thick caramel carpet, and she turns around ready to defend herself against his disapproval. Yet, his eyes remain shut, his breathing even. She resists stroking his pale cheek, not wanting to interrupt the rest he seems to need.

  The relentless chirping of her phone greets her as she enters the master bedroom. She grabs it from her bag and scrolls through the torrent of messages from Gail.

  Why didn’t you let me know you were involved with an altercation with the police?

  It’s all over the place your boyfriend shot at the local sheriff.

  They’re talking about cancelling your wish request on Tuesday.

  This is really bad publicity right before the movie comes out!

  What have you done to yourself being with this guy???

  We need to talk asap!!!

  Call me!!!!!!!!!

  The wish request hurts the most. The little girl’s parents thought they had a role model for their daughter, and now she’s just another fading star with a shaky reputation. All the things her mother never wanted her to be, she’s turning into.

  The phone buzzes again.

  Where are you????????

  With the man she loves, who’ll probably end up destroying himself because of her. She takes a deep breath before tapping the numbers.

  “What the hell is going on? You should have called me yesterday, as soon as it happened.”

  She flinches at her manager’s shriek, still not used to the frustrated tone bellowing through the phone. Only since dating Nick has she become a disappointment. “Hello, Gail. How are you?”

  “Oh, honey, you have no idea. That new boyfriend of yours is going to be your downfall. God, I wish your mother was here.”

  Her cheeks burn at the implication. “Don’t you dare say that! You have no idea how much I miss her, and it has nothing to do with my career.”

  “Shae! Calm down. What’s gotten into you?”

  “You calm down. No one was shot. Nobody was arrested or went to jail. It was just a misunderstanding.”

  Gail’s tone softens, more hesitant than Shae’s ever heard her. “Well, I’m just glad you’re okay.”

  She takes a deep breath. Gail has always been like this. It’s her who’s changing, but she can’t be unfair. “Yes, we’re fine.”

  “But your career’s not. It’s difficult to recover from this kind of stuff. I don’t want to name names, but you-know-who’s career has gone backburner because of her shenanigans.”

  “This is a one-time incident. It won’t happen again.”

  “That’s what you said after the coffee house.”

  Not that she needs a reminder. The confrontation with Juan seems so long ago after all they’ve been through. “Please do what you can to make the wish event happen. I really want to do it.”

  “Of course, darling. Charity work can only help. We’ve got to get your reputation back up to the top.”

  “It’s not about my reputation. It’s for her to know—”

  “Right, right. I’ll let you know as soon as I get it smoothed out. Answer your phone immediately next time I call.”

  Hopefully, the mission to salvage her career at least helps the kids who look up to her. She knocks softly on the guest room door before opening it. He lies in the same spot as before, unresponsive to her lips pressing against his forehead. “Nick?”

  A flutter of uneasiness tickles her stomach. His pale skin and furrowed brow don’t convey the restful benefits of sleep. Worried her phone will disturb him, she heads downstairs for a bottle of water. She tosses the cell on the counter as Max walks in. “Hi.”

  “Hey. We need to talk.”

  Goose bumps rise on her arms at his pinched expression, his tight mouth twisting in disapproval. Nick’s pallid appearance from upstairs flashes in her mind. “What’s wrong?”

  “Nick and I were pretty upset with you last night. How do you think I felt when I found out Spencer threatened you?”

  Guilt swims in her stomach. Max’s job is to protect her, and she didn’t let him. Both he and Nick were hurt by her secret. “If you knew, you would have raced upstairs and killed him.”

  He crosses his arms and nods. “I wouldn’t have given it a second thought.”

  No hint of hesitation in his voice, no uncertainty about his role as protector or executioner. A reality she may never be able to get used to. “I know, but I would have. I couldn’t live with myself, knowing he was dead because of me.”

  “He would’ve been dead because of him.”

  They stare at each other, neither convincing the other of their position. She gives in first. “Okay. I promise to tell you if anything happens. I appreciate you looking out for me.”

  His body relaxes, and he winks at her. “That’s why Nick pays me the big bucks.”

  “You’re the most expensive babysitter I know.”

  “Maybe if you’re good, next time I’ll take you out for ice cream.”

  “What happened to the doughnuts?”

  His laugh makes her smile, even amidst her uneasiness. No one can break the bond they share over their mutual love of junk food. “You’re a bad influence on me. I’m going to make you run before and after.”

  “Deal.”

  He holds out his hands, beckoning her for a hug. “We good?”

  She wraps her arms around his waist, grat
eful for his absolution. “Yeah, we’re good. Thank you for being such a good friend to us.”

  “You’re welcome. Let’s get Nick and go get something to eat, because I’m starving. Is he working out?”

  “He was still asleep when I came downstairs.”

  His frown greets her as she steps out of his embrace, his concerned expression matching her own apprehension. He thinks the same thing. Nick would never stay in bed without her.

  “I know. I’m worried too.” She shakes her head, giving his hand a light squeeze, trying to absorb some of his strength. “I’m going to check on him, and I’ll be back.”

  Chapter Thirteen

  Max holds the door open for her as they carry bags of take out into the kitchen. “Thank…”

  Nick paces back and forth, driving his hand through his hair. Her stomach drops at his ashen skin and glassy eyes rimmed with dark circles. With trembling hands, he reaches for the counter to steady himself, his unfocused gaze skimming over Max to her. “Where the fuck have you two been?”

  Pea pods and water chestnuts splay across the counter, tumbling out of their cartons at the force of Nick ripping the bags from Shae’s hands. A cold chill flushes her body at the hysteria surging in his groggy gaze. He crushes her against him, her dress stretching taut across her body from him fisting the fabric, engulfing her in his embrace.

  “I thought you were dead.” The other hand slides around the nape of her neck, gripping her hair as he murmurs against her ear, his voice raspy and weak. “You wouldn’t open your eyes. I tried everything, but you wouldn’t wake up.”

  She clutches him tightly, trying to soothe both of their worries and make sense of the whirlwind of anger and fear spinning around him. With her heart pounding, she strokes his back, her hand gliding across his cold, clammy skin. “It must have been a dream. I’m fine. I promise.”