Fire On The Farm (Second Chance Cowboy Romance)

by Betty Shreffler

  “When’s the last time you ate?”

  “I don’t remember,” I mumbled.

  “Ames, you can’t do this to yourself.”

  I turned away from him toward the cushions. “I just want to be alone.”

  He stood and left my side, but he didn’t leave my house. The sounds of him rummaging through my fridge and cupboards reached me. A can-opener ground metal, followed by the pouring of liquid into a bowl, then the microwave was opened, buttons pressed, and a couple minutes later, it dinged. Jared returned with a warm bowl of chicken noodle soup and crackers.

  “Ames, I want you to eat this. You need it. I’ll force feed you if I have to.”

  I sat up as the smell of comfort food reached my nostrils. Jared put the bowl in my lap, and I slowly brought the spoon to my lips. I moaned after the third spoonful. It was the same chicken noodle soup I’d always ate every time I had a cold, but today, it was arguably the best soup I’d ever eaten. Jared was right. I did need the nourishment.

  “How are the horses?”

  “Don’t worry about them. Rick and I have everything under control. Focus on you right now.”

  Tears pooled in my eyes. “There’s nothing else to focus on but the horses. I have nothing, Jared.” I set the nearly empty bowl on the coffee table. “Johann put me on the no access list at the hospital. I can’t go in and see Brock or be by his side when he needs me the most.”

  “Damn. What did you do to piss her off?”

  “She was eavesdropping when I was alone with Brock. She knows it’s my fault he was in the accident.”

  I wiped a stray tear off my cheek. Jared placed his hand on my shoulder and rubbed it.

  “Please don’t tell me you believe that garbage? His accident wasn’t your fault. It’s the fault of the bastard who hit him.”

  As much as I wanted to agree and to believe that, I couldn’t. It was my phone call that put him in that situation.

  I leaned toward the pillow to lie down again, and Jared pulled me back to him. “Nope, you’re not going to lie here and cry.” He took my hand and raised me from the couch. “We’re going riding. Merlin and Thunder need exercised.”

  Just hearing Thunder’s name stung my heart. My expression must have revealed it.

  “Come on, let’s at least go see Honey. That little prancer is enough to make anyone smile.”

  The next several days were excruciating. I had developed a stomach virus and could barely hold down any food between stress and nausea. I laid in bed most of the day after every morning phone call to Bethany. The status never changed and Brock’s MRI’s were showing very little improvement. I’d cry myself to sleep after each phone call and beg for him to come back to me.

  When my phone would ring, I’d stare at Heather’s or my parents’ picture displayed on the screen. I knew they were calling to talk about the wedding details, but I couldn’t do it. I couldn’t face saying the words out loud.

  Each day, Jared would come in around lunch time. He’d make a sandwich for himself and then leave one for me in the fridge. Sometimes, he’d leave notes telling me how Honey was doing in an attempt to coax me outside. After a week of avoiding everyone and wallowing in my own self-pity and pain, Jared had apparently had enough. He walked up to my bedroom and stood in the door frame with his arms crossed.

  “You’ve suffered enough, Ames. It’s time to shower and join me on the ranch. You look like shit, you smell like shit and damn it, I can’t take seeing you like this anymore. I’m not the only one. Rick is worried, too.”

  I didn’t move. I didn’t have the energy or motivation. Jared’s heavy footsteps padded across my floor. He was clearly on a mission. He hoisted me off the bed and carried me into the shower. With clothes on, he shoved me into it and turned on the shower head. Cold water blasted my face and chest. I screamed and cursed at him which only made his grin widen.

  “I’ll have some food ready for you downstairs. After that, we’re going riding. Get ready, we have a lot of work to do today.”

  With slow movements, I made it through a shower, getting dressed and eating some of the sandwich and fruit Jared had left for me. I slid on my boots and walked out into the chilly weather. The leaves were turning beautiful hues of yellow, orange, and red sprinkled across the rebellious green. I pulled my jacket tighter around my neck, blocking the cool breeze. With my hands covered in work gloves, I joined Jared in bringing Merlin and Bella out of their stalls.

  “How’s she doing?”

  “Real good. Rides like a dream. I’d buy her off Mr. Anderson if he’d be willing to sell her.”

  I stroked Bella’s neck and she nuzzled my shoulder in response. Immediately, the familiar touch and smell of the horses soothed some of the ache in my chest. I laid my head against Bella’s mane and reveled in the joy it brought me.

  “I’ll saddle them. You look like you might keel over if you have to lift anything heavy.”

  I didn’t argue. I still wasn’t feeling well and coming out for a ride was going to take a lot of energy.

  Once the horses were saddled, I helped tighten straps and then climbed atop Merlin. He blew out an excited breath, ready for the freedom of the ride.

  “You gonna be able to keep up? You and Merlin are both a little rusty.” Jared winked and gave a playful smile.

  “We’ll do our best,” I promised.

  The ride to the creek was more relaxing than I thought it’d be. Apparently, it was something I needed. The cool breeze countered the heat of the scorching sun and swept the tension off my shoulders as did the familiarity of the ride. When we reached the creek, we stopped to let the horses drink. Jared eased himself off the saddle and walked to mine, offering his hands and arms to help me down. I rolled my eyes and huffed.

  “I’m not that frail.”

  He gnawed his lip and grinned as he backed away, hands mercifully waving in the air.

  “The ride did you good.”

  He looked me over as my feet went from stirrup to ground.

  “I’m glad you made me come out.”

  Jared gave a smile over his shoulder as he walked to the creek. Leaning down, his long-sleeve shirt stretched over his solid back muscles. He cupped the water from the creek and splashed it over the bare part of his arms, cleaning off the barn dust and dirt, then wiped his hands on his jeans and lowered his sleeves.

  He gaze fell on me, standing on the edge of the creek, staring into the water, getting lost in my thoughts.

  “Ames, I’ll drag you out of that house everyday if I have to. I understand that you’re scared of losing Brock, but you can’t lose yourself too. We need you—your family, the horses, Rick. I need you.”

  I glanced at his soft, blue eyes staring at me as though I may shatter into a million pieces at any moment and admittedly, I was close to it. The tears pooled in my eyes and the knot in my stomach was so tight, I wanted to buckle over.

  “You’re right. I’m terrified of losing him.”

  Jared rushed forward and enclosed me in his arms. The gesture was comforting, but it only brought more tears. He wasn’t the man I wanted holding me and comforting me. More than anything, I wanted to feel Brock’s loving arms wrapped around me, making everything okay again.

  Jared’s lips brushed against my ear as he whispered, trying to soothe me. The graze of his lips was subtle, but my body’s reaction was not. I backed out of Jared’s arms, guilt swarming in my gut like angry bees. My emotional state was clearly influencing my need for affection.

  “We should get back.”

  “Ames, I didn’t mean—”

  I put my hand up to stop him. “It’s me. I’m a mess and need to get myself together. Thank you for watching over me this week. You’re an amazing friend. I appreciate you making me come out. I’ll do my best to help you on the ranch today. Tomorrow, I promise I’ll do better.”

  Keeping to my promise, I pushed through the nausea and constant thoughts of never seeing Brock again. I had to remind myself that I was strong, that I�
��d made it through the loss of one man I loved and I’d make it through it again, even if I didn’t believe it at times. Grams’ words continued to combat my own thoughts of self-pity and fear. You’re a strong woman, Amy. You’re journey isn’t over yet. I wondered if she’d tell me to start thinking of what’s next again, but I wasn’t ready for that. Right now, I was focused on making it through one day at a time.

  After another week of hearing no change in Brock’s status, I did my best to fall into a routine, desperate to keep my mind busy. Several days into the fixed routine, I was finally holding down food and building my strength back. I started working with Thunder on the training equipment. Working with him gave me a little piece of Brock.

  That night, the brisk wind whipped against my house, whispering screams into the darkness. The eerie sound of it chilled me to the bone, and my thoughts crept into the darkest parts of my own mind. Unable to keep still or sleep, I grabbed an overnight bag, a book, my boots and keys and headed to Brock’s house.

  As I pulled up his driveway, shock swept over me. His lights inside were on and Johann’s car was parked outside. I turned off my lights and slowly crept my truck farther up the drive. Silently closing my door, I walked along the side of his house, investigating the activity inside while trying to be as inconspicuous as I could.

  Vomit rose to my mouth and I swam sideways trying to catch my fall. Inside the window, I saw Brock lying on his couch, his head propped up on a pillow as Johann handed him two pills and a cup filled with something to drink. Paperwork filled her other hand which she set on the coffee table in front of him. I ran to the truck and spun gravel on my way out of his driveway.

  Jared approached my bed and sat on the edge. “Why do you look like you’ve been crying all night?”

  Curled in the shape of a fetus, I remained snuggling against my pillow. “I’m not feeling well. Can you handle it on your own today?”

  Jared ran his hand through his lengthy, light brown locks and let out a breath of air.

  “Ames…” His tone was affectionately demanding. “Tell me what happened?”

  “Brock’s out of the hospital. He’s out of his coma and at home. No one told me. Not Bethany or John. Clearly, no one wants me in his life. I don’t even know how long he’s been out of the hospital. I don’t know if he even wants me in his life. He hasn’t called.”

  “Maybe he just got out yesterday and hasn’t had a chance to call you. The man was in a coma. I’m sure he needs to get his shit in order.”

  The thought had crossed my mind that he had just gotten out. I sat up on the bed and Jared laughed at the damp strands of hair plastered to my face. He reached up to wipe them away, but stopped when he saw me flinch.

  “You should jump in the shower. Heather is waiting downstairs for you. That’s what I came up here to tell you.”

  “Heather’s here?”

  Jared chuckled. “Did you sleep at all last night?”

  “Barely.”

  “Okay, shower, now. I’ll throw together something for you to eat.”

  “You’re too good to me.”

  Laughter rolled off his lips as he walked out of my room.

  I came down the steps to find Heather in the kitchen talking with Jared. Knowing her as well as I do, her flirtations were blatantly obvious. Jared, on the other hand, didn’t seem to notice or was trying not to. As I watched him from behind, putting eggs onto a plate, I realized how much the young guy I’d hired had grown into a man—a good, caring man. The memory of our conversation about the professor he was dating came to mind. I wanted to ask him about it the first chance I got. After all he’d done for me in the last two weeks, I owed it to him to make sure he was being treated right.

  Heather squealed when she caught sight of me in her periphery. “Amy!” She rushed in and bear-hugged me before releasing me and scowling at me. “Why haven’t you answered my calls?”

  Jared turned his head and glanced at me, then Heather, and back at me again.

  “Brock was in a car accident and was put in an induced coma. I didn’t handle it well. I started to shut down like I did before.”

  Her hands flew to her mouth. “Oh, my God! Is he still in the coma?”

  I shook my head. “He’s out. I don’t know when he got out though. Johann put me on the no access list and he hasn’t called.”

  Heather hugged me again. “I’m so sorry.”

  When the tears started to pool, I looked at Jared.

  “You should eat, Ames. You’ll need it for work today.”

  Heather glanced at Jared and then back at me. “She’s a little too distraught to eat. Can’t you see that?”

  Jared held the plate out for me. “No, she needs to eat to keep her strength up. You haven’t been here the last two weeks, I have.”

  I took the plate from Jared’s outstretched hand. He moved past us and out the front door. With the plate in hand, I walked to the dining table. “You shouldn’t have snapped at him like that. He’s been there for me day in and day out for the last two weeks. He’s the one who’s been making sure I didn’t fall apart.”

  “I’m sorry. It seemed like he was being insensitive. If you had called, I’d know what had happened these last couple of weeks and wouldn’t have snapped at him.”

  “I know. I’m sorry. I was drowning in my own sorrow and couldn’t bring myself to answer questions. It was easy with Jared. He knew what was going on and conversation was, well, I didn’t have to converse at all, really. He made me food and checked on me, then forced me back to work.”

  “Well, now that I’m here, he can take a break. I can stay for several days. I brought extra clothes and necessities, just in case. I got worried when you didn’t return my calls. So, you really haven’t heard from Brock? Why did Johann put you on the no access list?”

  “Short story, she overhead me talking to Brock, and she thinks his accident is my fault. She’s systematically cut me out of his life, probably like she always wanted to do. I don’t know how long he’s been out of the hospital or why he hasn’t called.”

  One day prior...

  The moment my eyelids flickered open and all my cognitive senses awakened, my first thought was Amy. Her long, light-brown hair, baby-blues and beautiful face filled my mind. I looked around for her, remembering her whispers distantly in my memory. Disappointment flooded me when I realized my fiancée was not in the hospital room with me.

  The doctor came to see me and explained everything that had happened. He told me the swelling in my brain had gone down and the scans displayed normal brain activity. With a few weeks of taking it easy and physical therapy for my arm, I’d be “good as new.”

  After tears, hugs, and kisses from my mother and Bethany, and pats on the shoulder from John and Luke, I waited ‘til we were alone and I asked my mother where Amy was. Her face turned downward.

  “Don’t worry about her. You need to focus on resting and getting better.”

  “I’ve been in this bed for nearly two weeks and my fiancée isn’t here next to me. I want to know why. Ma, I suggest you start spitting out answers.”

  “Fiancée? You proposed to her?”

  “Yes, I did. Don’t look so shocked. I hadn’t had a chance to tell you yet. Now, where is she?”

  “I don’t know where she is. I haven’t spoken to her in almost two weeks.”

  “Why is that?”

  “Apparently, she has more important places to be then next to her fiancé. You’re better off without her, darling. She said the accident was her fault. Maybe she feels ashamed and wants to end things. Maybe she couldn’t handle your accident.”

  With a busted cell phone and being too rattled to drive, I was at the mercy of my mother and her disturbing answers about Amy. She drove me home and doted on me, hand and foot. Having just survived a near-death experience and being broken and bruised from head to toe, I had no choice but to use her assistance. Getting around was still difficult and more than anything, I just wanted to rest, no doubt the pai
nkillers were a cause of that.

  At home and exhausted on the couch, I was near dosing off. My mother interrupted me to hand me my medications and to remind me of the paperwork I had ahead of me with my health and motorcycle insurance, as well as the accident lawyer.

  My head ached just thinking about it, and it wasn’t something I wanted to think about at all. The only thing on my mind was why my fiancée wasn’t the one here doting on me. The sound of gravel kicking up in my driveway opened my heavy lids.

  “Who is that?”

  My mother walked to the front window and looked out.

  “Looks like someone was turning around in the driveway. Get some rest. I’ll come by tomorrow morning.”

  “Ma.”

  “Yeah?”

  “Can you have Bethany call Amy for me? And find out where she is?”

  “I’ll see what I can do.”

  “You all right?”

  “Fine. You mind handing me the brush there.” Jared pointed to the one sitting on the stool.

  I placed it in his outstretched hand. He used it to brush along Catapult’s back. “Thanks for breakfast and I’m sorry Heather snapped at you like that. She had no idea you’ve been the one keeping me from falling apart.”

  “It’s nothing. I didn’t take it personal.”

  “But you still seem irritated.”

  “It’s nothing.”

  I leaned against the stall and tucked my boot into a rail. “You still dating the professor?”

  Jared let out a chuckle. “No, Ames, I’m not.”

  “What happened?”

  “You were right. I was a rebound. We had our fun, but I’m looking for something more serious than she can offer.”

  “I’m sorry it didn’t work out.”

  “Don’t be. I’m not.”

  Jared stopped brushing Catapult and met my eyes. “He still hasn’t called?”

  I shook my head.

  “Maybe you should stop by his place.”

  “You think so?”