A Warriner to Tempt Her

by Virginia Heath

  He must have asked to court her for Papa to have granted his permission and that stung. If she was honest, a mere sting didn’t come close in describing the dull, empty ache which had taken root in her chest and refused to budge no matter how many times she tried to reason with herself this was inevitable.

  She had known he was besotted with her sister from the outset, despite his one claim to the contrary. Why on earth had she thought that might change? Bella was the bookish Beaumont. The decidedly less beautiful Beaumont and, who could forget, she was also the broken Beaumont as well. Getting better slowly, which was some consolation, but not worth the effort of wasting a healthy man’s affections on. Not when he had been granted permission to call on the Incomparable with impunity.

  Poor Joe was definitely barking up the wrong tree there. A few weeks in London had quite turned her elder sister’s pretty head; the balls, the parties, the superior society and a brief dalliance with a handsome duke had made her less benevolent towards Retford and desperate to return. Something she had lamented constantly for two whole days and was currently still lamenting to her usual herd of admirers from their spot close to the refreshment table. A spot Bella was also stuck in because her sister’s arm was presently threaded through hers, clamping her in place.

  Now that the family had seen such huge strides of progress in Bella’s mental state in such a relatively short period of time, they were all determined not to allow her to go backwards, which meant, in Clarissa’s words, forcing herself to engage socially. Another way of saying, it’s time you started talking to men again.

  Bella was doing her best to look engaged, despite the fact she didn’t give two figs about the glorious society of the capital or the opulence of the grand entertainments in comparison to this minuscule little affair. Clarissa’s admirers hadn’t noticed. Next to her sister Bella was largely invisible. Always had been, but now that Joe preferred Clarissa, blending into the wallpaper had rather lost much of its appeal.

  He had yet to make an appearance. The entire Warriner clan were in attendance, all bar the handsome doctor who had wormed his way into her heart and then stamped on it without realising, and in a show of public solidarity both her parents were laughing and joking amongst them. Jake had sought her out over an hour ago and gone to great pains to reassure her that Joe would arrive, just as soon as he had finished with a last-minute visit to a patient. Why he had chosen to single her out, rather than Clarissa, and quite what his reassuring undertone was meant to mean, she couldn’t say. Unless Joe had set his brother straight about the kiss he had witnessed and now the youngest Warriner pitied her as well. Uncharitably, Bella hoped Joe had been called to a birth and that the babe would be reluctant to be born until the Beaumont carriage was whisking Bella and her decidedly more beautiful sister home.

  ‘Stop gazing winsomely at the door,’ her sister whispered from behind her fan. ‘He’ll arrive when he arrives and it will be good for him to see you chatting to other men.’

  ‘I’m not sure what you mean.’ Although her cheeks were probably already giving her away as Bella realised she had been staring winsomely at the door.

  ‘Really? Then I suppose I’ve also imagined the sighing and the sulking? I must be mistaken. You are clearly not waiting for a certain dashing young physician to burst through those doors and sweep you off your feet.’

  ‘I do not regard Dr Warriner in that way at all, Clarissa! Ours is a professional relationship based on our mutual interests in medical science...’

  ‘Poppycock. You have always been a shocking liar, Bella, and a terrible actress.’

  ‘I am not lying!’ Bella turned her back to the dance floor to spare displaying her blotchy and glowing blush to all and sundry and tried to make her outraged hiss sound less hiss-like. ‘I have no romantic designs on him or any other man. Just because I am finally returning to my old self doesn’t mean I am ready for any of that nonsense, thank you very much. It will be years until I’m ready to consider a beau, if at all. In fact, I’m quite wedded to spinsterhood. A husband would only get in the way of my medical studies, and now that Papa has finally agreed I can dedicate time to science I am reluctant to consider anything else.’ By the end of the monologue, Bella was reasonably proud of how convincing she had sounded. Clarissa simply regarded her blankly.

  ‘I see.’

  She plainly didn’t. ‘Dr Warriner is a friend. A colleague. That is the full extent of our relationship.’

  ‘Then you won’t care that he has just arrived and is currently striding in your direction.’

  Pride made Bella stiffen her shoulders. If he was striding anywhere, then it was in the direction of her sister, the Beaumont whose face was not as red as a ripe summer strawberry. Perhaps she could scurry away in a manner convincing enough to make everyone think she urgently needed the retiring room? Because her silly body could sense him and was heating with awareness, while her stupid face decided to spontaneously combust, but escaping now was out of the question. Far too obvious. Far too much like defeat.

  ‘Why, Dr Warriner! How lovely to see you again.’ Clarissa slid her arm around Bella’s in case she bolted and pulled her close, forcing her to face him. ‘We had quite despaired of you ever arriving. Didn’t we, Bella?’

  ‘Good evening, Dr Warriner.’

  Floor, open and swallow me now.

  ‘I trust you are well.’

  ‘Yes. I am well.’ His hair was mussed. No doubt as a result of driving his curricle too fast. ‘Good evening, ladies.’ His eyes locked with Bella’s with such intensity, it made her more nervous. She couldn’t tell what the odd look meant. The optimistic and deluded real her inside hoped it was something to do with the intense feelings he had miraculously developed for her since he had asked her father to court Clarissa. The pragmatic scholar realised it was probably doctorly concern for her unnaturally high colour tinged with pity for her poor addled mind. Because only the most pathetic of individuals would have to resort to begging for their first kiss in the interests of science.

  ‘We are most well, although peeved that neither of us is dancing.’ Clarissa’s voice was filled with mischief. ‘When I can clearly hear the first bars of the waltz.’ Bella found herself shoved forward a few inches and was mortified.

  His eyes darted from hers to her sister’s, then slowly returned again. ‘Lady Isabella—Bella—would you do me the honour of dancing with me?’

  And now he was being polite and solicitous because Clarissa had forced his hand both saddened and enraged her in equal measure. Bella opened her mouth to curtly decline, only to find herself propelled further forward by her sister. ‘She would love to.’ Clarissa’s voice was so loud people turned to stare, making refusing impossible without causing a scene and, whatever she felt about Joe, she owed him too much to do that.

  He sought her gloved hand from where she had instinctively buried it amongst the folds of her favourite silk gown, a gown she had stupidly worn for him and had regretted from the outset, knowing it was futile, and she felt his heat through the fabric where it seared her skin. Her jangling nerves were bouncing all over the place as he led her to the floor, not helped by the intense stares from both of her parents. This was the first dance since the incident. A major step in their eyes. It would have been a major step in hers, too, had she not been mortified to be so pitied by a man she adored and wishing she was dead. If she didn’t die of embarrassment during the dance, Bella decided she was going to strangle her meddling sister as soon as she had her alone. Just because Clarissa now had her heart set on a duke didn’t mean she could alter this kind physician’s romantic feelings by foisting Bella upon him.

  Joe was smiling when he turned her towards him, his big hand came to rest just above the small of her back and Bella fought not to remember the last time it had been there. When his lips had been touching hers.

  Because she’d asked him.

  ‘You really didn’t need to ask me to dance out of politeness.’ Her voice sounded snippy and sharp, an
d not at all the casual nonchalance she had been aiming for. ‘I much prefer watching and Clarissa should not have forced me upon you.’ Good lord, he was tall this close. Avoiding his eyes, she had chosen to stare dead ahead, which meant she was currently staring at his broad chest.

  ‘I thought I asked.’ He sounded amused. ‘I distinctly remember saying, Bella—would you do me the honour of dancing with me? Besides, I wanted to talk to you.’

  ‘Is there a problem at the infirmary?’ That explained things. ‘I told Mrs Giles to send word immediately if something was wrong.’

  ‘I didn’t want to talk to you about the infirmary.’ Now he sounded irritated. ‘Or vaccinations or any other medicinal matters... I wanted to talk about what happened between us the other day...the kiss.’

  Bella felt her abdominal muscles bunch as she cringed. ‘I’d rather not talk about it, if it’s all the same to you.’

  Yes, you do. Face your fears and hear what he has to say!

  ‘In fact, if you’ll excuse me...’

  She tried to break away, only to find her body firmly held by his hands in the position of the waltz—but closer. So close goosebumps covered her skin because his caressed her cheek.

  ‘Not yet.’ His fingers laced with hers. ‘We need to talk, Bella. There are things I’ve come here to say. Things I should have said at the time, but...’ His voice trailed off, but his gaze never faltered. Those brilliant blue eyes were troubled as they peered into her soul. He wouldn’t need to look very far to see the truth. Bella was a terrible actress and her feelings about everything had been dangerously close to the surface since the day he had found her weeping by the roadside.

  It was then she realised two things. She needed to hear him say the words, no matter how difficult that would be, and half of the eyes in the ballroom were currently watching the pair of them with interest. Unwittingly, Bella was the centre of attention and she was not brave enough to have her heart broken in front of half the town. ‘Then say them in the alcove and be done with it. Don’t make me a spectacle.’

  * * *

  Hardly words to warm his heart or give him much hope. Joe silently led her to the most secluded part of the assembly room, conscious of the ramrod and stiff way she held herself whilst purposefully ignoring his gaze, and gave some serious thought to not saying what he had come here to say, then realised he still had to say them. If there was even the slightest chance she might entertain him as a suitor, he was going to grab it with both hands.

  There were still one or two people milling about within earshot and he didn’t trust himself not to create a spectacle, so he gestured towards the back door left slightly ajar to allow the warm July air to circulate and trailed behind as she sailed through it.

  Although almost ten o’clock, it wasn’t yet fully dark, showing the empty lane behind the assembly room stretching out before them bathed in the last fading vestiges of the daylight. Bella walked a few feet ahead of him before turning and squaring her shoulders. ‘What did you want to say?’

  ‘I wanted to say...’ How to put it all into words when his tongue wanted to wrap itself in knots under her regal stare. She was Lady Isabella again. The convenient suit of armour she strapped on whenever the occasion called for it. ‘The thing is, I know you said the kiss was purely in the interests of science, but...’

  She held up her hand like a shield and stopped him. ‘It was only in the interests of science. To see if I could bear the touch of a man. I am grateful to you for your indulgence and your participation because I was able to demolish another of those walls in my mind. I am also sorry if my reaction led you to believe it meant any more than that, but you have to understand I was greatly relieved to learn that I was not disgusted by the experience and...and...and that I remain hopeful that the damage to my mind is not going to be permanent and that one day I might be able to be i-intimate with the right man.’

  Damning words indeed. A polite and categorical no, thank you, not in this lifetime, but there was something about the brief hesitation which gave him pause for thought. When her arms came up to hug herself unconsciously, just as she had in the lane that morning when he had found her distraught and she refused to meet his eye, he took a cautious step towards her.

  What wasn’t she saying? The Lady Isabella armour was hiding something and that something might well be important to them both. Dare he hope he was the right man? ‘Bella, that kiss was not the sort of kiss which occurs simply as a result of an experiment. That kiss was much more than that...’ Joe was less than two feet away when an expression of pure panic washed over her features.

  ‘Stop. Please. I don’t want to hear it. I thought I did, but I was wrong.’ She turned her back to him, wrapped her arms tightly around her waist and walked stiffly towards the low stone wall which separated them from the lane. ‘I know your affections lie with Clarissa. Have always lain with her. I’ve known that since I met you. For the sake of my pride, can we please just pretend that silly kiss never happened.’

  Joe moved to stand directly behind her. ‘Sorry. But I can’t do that. That silly kiss has been all I have thought about for a week.’ He heard her sharp intake of breath and risked reaching out to smooth his palms down her arms. ‘I bitterly regret the clumsy way I reacted after it, especially if I hurt you in the process, but if I’m honest, the kiss caught me off guard. You caught me off guard, Bella.’

  Her hair smelled of crushed flower petals, the intricate plaited hairstyle left her neck exposed. His physician’s eye could see the tiny but rapid pulse beating beneath her creamy skin—evidence of her nervousness, yet his reaction to the sight was distinctly male. He fought against the desire to press his mouth to where it fluttered and soothe it with his lips and tongue. ‘And whilst I am being entirely honest, my feelings for Clarissa are—were—complicated, but not the slightest bit real. I have told you that before.’

  She pulled away then, her head whipping around to finally face him. ‘They are real enough to make you seek permission to call upon her again!’

  ‘I didn’t. I wouldn’t. Not now.’ His feet slowly edged towards her until they were toe to toe. His fingers found their way to her cheeks. ‘I have no feelings for Clarissa. None. I’m sure she is a very lovely person—but the truth is she doesn’t interest me. She and I have nothing in common, whereas we...’ he gave in to the urge to tug a tendril of her hair out of its pin and wind his finger around it ‘...have a great deal in common.’

  ‘That merely makes us friends.’

  ‘No, it doesn’t. Because I am fairly certain the other feelings I have are not the sort one has for a mere friend.’ Her breath was coming in short gasps, but she didn’t try to pull away.

  ‘What sort of feelings?’

  ‘The constant need to see you and talk to you.’ Joe didn’t want to frighten her, not when she had barely come to terms with her ordeal, yet didn’t want to lie to her either. She needed to hear why his feelings for her were completely different to the ones he had had for her sister. ‘I’ve missed you so much this last week. It’s felt like an ache in my heart. I find myself thinking about you all the time, Bella. Day and night. I even dream about you.’ Although he wouldn’t share those with her just yet. ‘If we are in the same room, my eyes are always drawn to you and always have been. Even when I stupidly thought your sister was the one I wanted.’

  ‘So you just changed your mind? One minute, you wanted her and now you want me. A tad convenient, wouldn’t you say, especially when every man wants Clarissa, but Clarissa wants a man with an impressive title and you don’t have one!’ She leant back a little, not completely pulling away but certainly creating some distance. Her eyes searching his for the truth.

  ‘I never wanted Clarissa.’

  ‘Yes, you did. You just said so...’

  Joe placed his fingers softly over her lips. ‘No. I didn’t. My silly crush on Clarissa was as transient and flimsy as the early-morning mist. She was this vision of a perfect woman, someone to put on a pedestal and rev
ere. There have been variations of the same throughout my life. A perfect woman who I worshipped from afar. Always out of my reach and I suppose purposely so. My head never really wanted to know them, because when I did I was always disappointed. Clarissa was another one of a long line of such women. A transient, ghostly shadow of a dream. Something to torture myself with.’

  ‘Like your mother?’

  Joe paused and considered it. The suggestion had merit. He knew enough about the workings of the human mind to know traumatic events could become warped and twisted in the aftermath. He supposed seeing his mother from a distance throwing herself into the swirling river and being powerless to do anything about it had left its mark. ‘Exactly—although until you pointed it out I had never really considered the link. Deep down I know she was a selfish woman with no interest in any of her four sons. My other brothers say that all the time, but I have always preferred to think of her as a tragic, delicate soul. A stranger to me because she died when I was so young, when in fact the truth is she was a stranger to me because she chose to be.’

  She smiled sympathetically. ‘The fantasy is easier to live with.’

  ‘And I have continued constructing the same sort of fantasies because I have always loved the idea of being in love with a perfect woman, yet never fully understanding the true meaning of what a perfect woman is. But she’s you, Bella. You’re perfect. You’re perfect for me and I think I’m perfect for you. You’re the one I want and I’m a fool for not seeing it straight away.’

  ‘You think me perfect?’ A smile played at the corners of her mouth and his heart soared. Her lovely face softened and her hand came up to rest upon his chest, then he watched the smile melt away and be replaced by doubt again. ‘We both know I’m not perfect, Joe, not compared to Clarissa. I’m bookish and fade into the background. I’m...I’m not right up here any more.’ She touched her forehead and without thinking he kissed it.