Death of the Couch Potato's Wife: Cozy Christian Mysteries (Women Sleuth, Female Detective Suspense)

by Barritt, Christy

  That was news to me. “I guess I just try to trust God that all things happen for a purpose. Sometimes it’s hard to trust him, though. I don’t always do a great job.”

  She locked gazes with me for a moment. “That’s what’s different about you. You’re the real thing, aren’t you?”

  My heart lurched. “What do you mean?”

  “You’re really a Christian, not just someone who goes to church.”

  I swallowed, not sure if I lived up to her statement or not. “That’s how I try to live. I’ll be praying for you, Donna.”

  A faint smile touched her lips. “Thank you. You can pray for Tiara, too. She’s been having a hard time lately. She feels guilty that she was so mean to Candace before she died.”

  I leaned closer. “Mean to her how?”

  “Well, she was mad at Candace because Tiara knew about her threats to reveal my criminal past, so Tiara started this petition to have the Flynns kicked out of the neighborhood for not following the bylaws. But then Candace died.”

  “You guys used to all be friends, didn’t you?”

  “Yeah. It’s funny how quickly relationships can go south.” Didn’t I know it. If I wasn’t careful, Kent and I would end up all the way at the bottom of that pit.

  I stood. “You have a good lawyer, don’t you?”

  She nodded.

  “I don’t think they’re going to be able to keep you here for this crime, Donna. That’s a totally unprofessional opinion, of course, but I hope you get out soon.”

  “I didn’t send you that banana bread. You know that, don’t you?”

  “I do.” And right then, I did. Someone was trying to set Donna up.

  “Maybe I should try a bit of that prayer sometime.” She reached her hand out. “Thanks for coming by to visit. It means a lot. Not many people have been so brave.”

  I decided to walk to the pharmacy and see how things were going there. Kent was meeting with the insurance adjustor. After talking with Donna, I felt a renewed sense of purpose. When I found Kent, I was even smiling. Too bad he wasn’t.

  “This is just a mess. I don’t understand why someone would do this.” His head swung around as he surveyed the shattered glass, overturned shelves, and holes in the wall.

  I put my arms around him. “I’m so sorry, honey. How can I help?”

  “They said we could start cleaning up,” Kent said. “I just don’t even know where to start. I’m going to have to get this store looking halfway decent if I expect to sell it. I just can’t leave it like this. Besides, people have prescriptions they need. All that information was in my computer. I’ll have to get in touch with doctor’s offices and other pharmacies. It’s going to be a headache.”

  I kissed his cheek. “You do that and I’ll start cleaning up what I can. How does that sound?”

  “You’re going to be working for weeks cleaning up this place.”

  I grabbed a broom from the rack where they used to be sold. “That’s okay. I’ll manage, one sweep at a time.”

  Kent climbed over things until he reached the pharmacy counter. He also had to count his medications to see what had been stolen. This would be a big task. For insurance purposes, I had to record all the damaged merchandise I found.

  I was still working on the first shelf when I heard someone walk in through the front door. I turned around and saw Babe. I quickly stood and wiped the dirt from my jeans. “Babe, what are you doing here?”

  “I’m sorry about everything that’s happened, Laura. I just feel awful that someone did this to your store.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate you stopping by, especially considering our last conversation. I’m sorry I was so insensitive.”

  “You’re forgiven.”

  I smiled as she stepped over an avalanche of canned beans and hugged me.

  “Now, what can I do to help?”

  My spirits suddenly lifted. “You want to help?”

  “Of course. That’s what friends are for.”

  Harry poked his head in a few minutes later and ended up scrubbing graffiti from the storefront. By six o’clock, it seemed like half of the town had stopped by to help out in some way.

  Maybe Boring wasn’t so bad after all.

  When we were all done and everyone had left, Kent and I sat back and stared at the place. Aside from the boards over the windows, it didn’t look half bad.

  “Maybe this won’t take as long as I expected.”

  “No, people were really great today, weren’t they?”

  “Yeah, I finally felt like I was a true Boring resident.”

  He echoed my thoughts exactly. Today, I’d been proud to live in Boring. I don’t know what we would have done without everyone’s help.

  I rested my cheek against his arm. “I love you.”

  He kissed the top of my head. “I love you too.” Suddenly, he stood. “You want a sandwich?”

  “Are you going to make it?” I raised my eyebrows.

  “I’ve made a few sandwiches in my day.”

  “Not since we’ve been married.”

  “I feigned ignorance.”

  I slapped my hand against my knee before pointing at my husband. “I knew it! What bachelor can’t make grilled cheese sandwiches?”

  He grinned like a school boy. “One grilled cheese coming up.”

  I watched as Kent rolled up his sleeves and began pulling things from the refrigerator. He even pulled a white apron over his outfit and acted like he would flip the sandwiches with his spatula. He turned on a little radio and sang along to “Can’t Buy Me Love.” I don’t remember the last time I laughed so hard.

  Finally, he sat down at the bar beside me with a plateful of sandwiches.

  “Can I get you a drink?”

  “What do you have?”

  “The finest selection of soda pop this side of the Mississippi.” He bowed gracefully and displayed a soda as if it was an expensive bottle of wine. He said it all with a terrible French accent. “This one was made in 2012, and shipped here all the way from the ultra exotic land of Ohio.”

  I giggled. “I’ll take that.”

  He popped the top and set it on the counter. “You know what?”

  I turned to him and wiped a strand of cheese from my lip. “What?”

  “Everything is so much more bearable with you by my side.”

  I wanted to melt. Those were just about the sweetest words he’d ever said to me. “Really?”

  “Absolutely.”

  “Oh, Kent, that’s just about the nicest thing you’ve told me since—since we moved here, I guess.”

  He brushed a hair behind my ear. “I know it’s been hard on you. It will get better. I’ll get better.”

  “Who said there was room for improvement?”

  He nudged my chin. “You didn’t need to. I can see it all over your face.”

  I touched my cheek. “Really? I thought I was a better faker than that.”

  “That’s what’s so charming about you—you think you’re good at being fake, but you’re not. It’s so obvious.”

  “Really?’

  He nodded with soft eyes. “Really. But that’s what I love about you. Even when you try to put on a mask, you can’t. You’re too genuine.”

  Maybe this was when I should ask him about his Friday afternoon outings. “Kent, there’s something I want to ask—”

  A kiss cut me off.

  Oh, no. I had to get this out. “Kent, really—”

  We were kissing again. I shouldn’t complain. I wasn’t complaining. But still, there was that dirty little issue of his secret.

  He suddenly stood and intertwined his fingers with mine. “Let’s go home.”

  “But your sandwich?”

  “I’m not hungry anymore.”

  The next day was Boring’s annual Ginseng Festival. They closed down the entire downtown area so vendors could set up booths. In the high school parking lot, amusements had been pitched. Various local performers showed off their talents, includi
ng Emma Jean, who apparently could play a mean harmonica.

  Kent and I decided to check out the festival, just for kicks. Maybe we’d even try a cup of that ginseng ice cream we’d heard so much about. We spent most of the morning looking at the work of various artists and chatting with townspeople about the pharmacy. We didn’t mention to anyone that we’d be moving. I figured we’d wait until closer to the time. Babe joined us for awhile, though she looked distracted. Her eyes kept scanning the crowd.

  “Is everything okay?”

  She nodded. “Just seeing who’s here. Making sure everyone is down with the Ginseng Festival.”

  “You really like this festival, don’t you?”

  “Look forward to it every year.”

  “Why?”

  “Ginseng is a part of this town. It helps to put food in people’s mouths. It brings people together.”

  Babe finally saw someone in the distance and hurried toward them. “I’ll catch you later!”

  I wondered who she’d been so anxious to find. Of course, all kinds of people who’d moved away from the town came back for this festival.

  By the time we made it over to the rides, it was dark outside. Why they had this event in the winter was beyond me—but no one had asked my opinion. I couldn’t really imagine riding The Terminator while the wind cut through my clothing and chilled me to the bone.

  Kent and I took our places to watch the lawnmower races on the high school football field, which was lit bright enough to compete with the sun. Steele, Darius, and Mark had all signed up.

  “Why didn’t you sign up, honey?”

  “Maybe next year.” His words stayed in my mind. We wouldn’t be here next year at this time, but maybe we could make it a tradition to come back for the festival.

  “Let me go get us a box of popcorn.”

  “Sounds great.”

  I stood near the halfway point and watched as all the men and the tough-as-nails fitness instructor Karen Jones lined up to start. I hoped Kent didn’t miss the beginning. The announcer counted down, and the lawnmowers were off.

  I cheered as I saw Darius taking the lead.

  This was one thing we didn’t have in Chicago. Of course, we did turn an entire river green in honor of St. Patrick’s Day.

  Mark—Hillary’s husband—raced in front. I watched to see if Darius would be able to gain his lead back. They rounded the corner, headed to my side of the track. The crowds around me cheered.

  A hand pressed on my back. Kent must have returned.

  Just as I turned to say hi, someone shoved me. Hard.

  I tumbled onto the race track, my hands colliding with the grass. I looked up just in time to see the lawn mowers headed right at me.

  Chapter 25

  Panic pulled back the corners of my mouth. If Darius didn’t move, he was going to mow right over me. I tried to roll out of the way but couldn’t. Fear froze me.

  Instead, I screamed. People in the crowd screamed.

  I prepared for death, if a person can possibly do that.

  I closed my eyes and waited to feel my bones being crushed under the weight of the machines.

  Instead, I heard metal crunching. Men yelling. Women screaming.

  Finally, I opened my eyes. I saw three lawn mowers piled up mere inches from me. Darius, Steele and Mark lay on the ground, rubbing their heads and elbows. In avoiding me, they hadn’t been able to avoid each other.

  People surrounded us. I forced myself to sit up and scan the crowd. Was the person who pushed me still watching? I searched for any retreating figures but saw none.

  “Laura! What happened?” Kent knelt beside me, a knot between his eyebrows as he grasped my arms.

  “Someone pushed me.” My eyes continued to scan the people around me. Leaning on Kent, I rose to my feet. “Did anyone see who did this?” I asked loudly.

  “See who did what?” Emma Jean asked.

  “Who pushed me in front of the lawn mowers?”

  The crowd gasped in unison.

  Kent continued to hold me up, his hands grasping my arms. “Are you sure someone pushed you?”

  “You bet your poisoned pork rinds.”

  “It was so crowded,” Emma Jean said. “Anyone could have done it.”

  I locked eyes with the woman. Emma Jean had been beside me. She might hate city slickers, but was she a killer?

  I glanced at the men as they brushed themselves off. They all seemed uninjured, thank goodness. The outcome could have been much worse. I’m sure that’s what the person who’d tried to kill me had wanted.

  Whoever did this was getting more desperate. That must mean I was getting closer to the truth.

  “Honey, we better get you home.” Kent tried to lead me away.

  Someone cleared his throat beside us. “Right after we question her. Again.”

  I would know that voice anywhere. Chief Romeo. He stood poised with his pen and paper in hand and a look of “haven’t we been here before” all over his face.

  My thoughts exactly.

  Kent and I decided to spend the rest of the evening at home, relaxing. Since it was the week before the Super Bowl, there were no football games on TV. That meant Kent had to watch reruns of Law & Order with me.

  As we were resting on the couch, the phone rang. It was my mother. She only called a few times a year to check on me, and lately I’d been hoping she wouldn’t.

  My parents had high hopes for me—success to them was defined in material possessions, climbing the corporate ladder, and staying fit. For my entire life, I’d pushed myself to make them proud.

  They still didn’t know the real reason I’d left my job in Chicago. They thought I quit to move to Boring. I knew that one day the truth would come out. I hoped today was not that day.

  “How’s the pharmacy?” my mother asked. I pondered what to say.

  “It’s, uh, it’s okay.” Ransacked, vandalized and about to be sold, but okay.

  “Have you found a new job yet?”

  “Haven’t really looked.”

  “It’s ‘I haven’t really looked.’ You’re beginning to speak as if I raised you to be uncivilized and uncultured.”

  “Sorry.” I bit my lip. “I mean, I’m sorry.”

  “I can’t believe your old firm wouldn’t let you work from home. That’s the new thing, you know. Telecommuting. You should talk to them about that. I bet they would work something out with you. In the long run, it would save them money on office space.”

  “It’s something to think about.”

  “Or maybe your husband will realize the futility of working in a small town and come to his senses.”

  “Living in a small town doesn’t make you less of a person, Mom.”

  “It makes you closed minded. There’s so much more out there.”

  “But the more that’s out there isn’t necessarily better.” Why was I defending small town life? It was so unlike me.

  The conversation continued for ten more minutes until I finally told my mother I had a headache and needed to go to bed. It was the truth. Talking to my mother always gave me a headache.

  She thought that marrying Kent made me weak. She never said it, but I got the message loud and clear. She was an agnostic, and Kent was the one who’d introduced me to Christ. At first, I’d gone to church with him simply because we were dating and I wanted to make a good impression. But slowly the beliefs I’d learned there had begun to make sense. I’d become a Christian. I don’t think my mother had ever forgiven me for it.

  “You okay?” Kent asked.

  “I’m exhausted.”

  “It’s been a long day.” He put his hand on my knee. “I don’t like everything’s that’s been going on lately. I feel like you were safer in Chicago than you are here in Boring.”

  I forced a smile. “Strange, isn’t it?”

  He frowned. “I had higher expectations for small town life. Maybe I just had to get this dream out of my system so I could move on. I’m just sorry you had to get hurt
in the process.”

  “Life’s a learning experience.”

  “I’ll call a realtor tomorrow about putting the house on the market. How’s that sound?”

  I smiled. “Sounds great.”

  I couldn’t stop looking at the “For Sale” sign in my front yard. Just the sight of it made me feel giddy, even in the grey of dusk.

  I was finally going to get out of Dodge.

  I was standing in the front yard looking at it when I felt someone behind me.

  “You’re really moving, chickaroonie? You’re leaving Boring? You’re selling your crib?”

  I looked behind me at Babe. “Kent and I both think it’s time, especially in light of everything that’s happened lately.”

  “The pharmacy can be fixed, you know.”

  “It can, but is it worth it? You know, Kent and I gave it a shot here, but maybe Emma Jean is right. We’re both city slickers at heart.”

  “You’re letting them win.”

  I stopped looking at the sign for a minute. “I’m letting who win?”

  “Whoever is trying to drive you out of town.”

  “The decision is inevitable. It would have happened eventually, with or without everything that’s happened lately. Kent and I just aren’t cut out for small town life. And that’s okay.”

  “I think you are cut out for life here. You just never gave it a chance.”

  “Babe, you’re one of the only reasons I’m going to miss about being here.”

  “I’m surprised you’re leaving things unfinished like this.”

  “What’s unfinished?”

  “Candace’s murder.”

  “Like I’m going to figure out who did that.”

  “You’re obviously getting close. Someone wants you to stop snooping.”

  I sighed. “I’ve thought of that. But I’m out of ideas. It’s time for me to let go of this amateur detective thing.”

  “I never took you as a quitter.”

  I scowled. “There’s a difference between quitting and moving on. You have to have wisdom to discern between those two things. I’m moving on.”

  Babe pointed in the distance. “Isn’t that Harry McCoy’s truck over at the Brunos’?”