North Country Hero

by Lois Richer

  By listening to her, he’d clung to hope like a crutch. But today the crutch had been wrenched away when he’d embarrassed himself by showing the entire town that he could no longer even stand on his own. Surely Sara would have to admit that. There was no way he could forge a future here.

  Look at me. I was totally dependent on Sara to get me out of there. Now I have to wait for Teddy to get me home.

  “No,” he said out loud. “I will not live like that, dependent on others, no matter what anyone says, not even Sara.”

  But as he said it, Kyle suddenly realized the gap there would be in his life, a gap only Sara could fill.

  And that scared him more than anything the military had put him through.

  Chapter Eight

  “I can’t thank you all enough,” Laurel said as she scanned each firelit face. “Without you, I don’t know if we could have done it.”

  “To Laurel and her very successful grand opening,” Sara said, lifting her glass of punch. She leaned over and clinked the rim against Kyle’s. “Today was a total success.”

  “Hear, hear,” Teddy said. “I don’t know how you came up with the idea, but it was a great one.”

  “Sara might not think so tomorrow,” Laurel said, brushing aside his compliment. “That crowd almost ate us out of house and home.”

  “Close.” Sara chuckled as a rush of pride filled her. “There are only four tarts, two pieces of fudge and three pieces of pie left over.”

  “Anyone like another hot dog before we move on to what’s left of dessert?” Teddy asked. When the others groaned and patted their stomachs, he grinned. “I guess I’ll just have to eat this one myself then,” he said.

  “I love campfires,” Tony said. “Kyle knows lots of good stories. We could make them into campfire stories.”

  “What makes a campfire story?” Sara felt a rush of heat rise up her neck to her face as boys and adults alike turned to stare at her. Determined not to show how embarrassed she was that she couldn’t share such a simple thing, she shrugged. “I lived in the city. We never had campfires.”

  “I don’t suppose a lot of city kids do get to sit around a fire anymore,” Kyle said thoughtfully. “I suppose you’ll count this fire as another of those blessings you’re always talking about.”

  “Depends on your story,” she shot back with a wink. Immediately she felt self-conscious. Was it being too familiar to wink at a man?

  But Kyle only grinned at her, so she relaxed.

  After hearing Tony extoll Kyle’s virtues as a storyteller, everyone was eager to hear him tell more about the North, this place they now called home.

  Good, Sara thought. That’s exactly what I want. If Kyle can dig up happy memories of the past, maybe he’ll finally let go of some of his sorrow.

  “What kind of story are you going to tell us, Kyle?” she asked.

  “Me?” Kyle glared at her. “Why not Teddy?”

  “I’m not a true northerner,” Teddy protested. “I’m just a visitor who loves this place and keeps coming back. You have more experiences in your little finger than I’ll ever know. Why not share some?”

  “About what?” Kyle frowned.

  “About polar bears,” Sara said before anyone else could suggest a topic. “Lucy told me one was hauled off to polar bear jail yesterday, though I’m not sure exactly what that is. Can you tell us, Kyle?”

  The other boys chimed in on the question. Everyone looked toward Kyle for an explanation. He turned his head to shoot Sara a look she interpreted to mean he’d have preferred to remain silent. Eventually he gave a resigned sigh and explained.

  “The jail is a building in a compound on the outskirts of the town. It’s divided into cells in which they put bears who have roamed too close to town.” Kyle stopped as if he’d finished explaining, but the boys wouldn’t let him get away with such a meager explanation.

  “Come on, Kyle,” Tony said.

  “Yeah, tell us more than that,” another insisted.

  “Guess we won’t have to worry about a visit from a bear tonight,” Kyle said with a grin. “It’s too noisy. All right.” He held up his hands. “It’s a specially designed jail. The goal is to keep the bears isolated from human contact and reintroduce them back into the wild, but away from Churchill. The wildlife service doesn’t want to hurt them, but it does want to protect both those who live here and the bears that pass through and use the Hudson Bay to migrate.”

  “Migrate to where?” Rod seemed totally enthralled.

  “You want their migration schedule? This is going to take a while,” Kyle muttered.

  “We’re not going anywhere,” one of the boys said. Then he grinned. “Because there’s nowhere to go.”

  Sara hid her smile as the boys burst into laughter at the joke. She was delighted the kids weren’t allowing Kyle to stop. She fell under the spell of his words when he related the bear’s phases from the birth of a cub to its journey to adulthood.

  She could listen to him forever.

  By the time Kyle finished, Sara was certain each boy would soon be on the internet, searching for more information on polar bears. She had a hunch they would have tried tonight but Laurel insisted it was too late and they’d have to wait till tomorrow.

  The newly informed boys willingly lugged dishes and carefully stored their refuse, conscious now that they must not leave anything that would attract wildlife. They now wanted to be part of the bears’ protection. Sara whispered a prayer of thanksgiving as she loaded the dishwasher and cleaned the counters.

  She startled when she noticed Kyle standing in the shadows and automatically checked his eyes to gauge whether he was in pain. But his expression was closed and she couldn’t tell. So she asked, “Anything wrong?”

  “Nothing except that I can’t leave. Teddy’s in Laurel’s office showing her some computer accounting program he brought her, so I can’t go home yet.”

  “At least they’re not arguing about something. That seems like progress, don’t you think?”

  He shared her smile. “Maybe a little. But I need to get home.”

  “Why?” She chuckled. He was so easy to talk to, and so much fun to tease. “You don’t have a curfew, do you?”

  “No.” A glimmer of a smile tugged at his lips. He leaned one hip against the chair rail that projected halfway up the wall.

  Sara couldn’t help admiring him. He was so handsome, so…in control.

  “I’d planned to help Rod with graphics for his web page this evening, but I guess that will have to wait for another day.” He studied her. “How’s the search for your mom going?”

  After a moment, Sara said, “I did find something I wanted to ask you about.”

  She’d debated whether to bother Kyle again. Not that her questions seemed to irritate him. He’d been patient and understanding. But after that confrontation in his living room, Sara felt she was taking too much of his time.

  “Well, I’m here now.” He waited. “Go ahead and ask.”

  “It would be easier to explain if I showed you. Would you mind taking a look?”

  There was a trace of hesitation before he said, “Sure.”

  “Thanks. I appreciate it.” Sara led the way to the computer room, glad that the boys weren’t there. She needed for this to be private.

  Once the computer had booted up, she clicked on the site she’d previously saved. “I’m not sure what this message means.”

  “It’s just someone trying to sell something. It’s nothing.” His hand covered hers on the mouse as he clicked it. Sara gasped at the contact, hoping he didn’t notice how flustered she was. A new page was now visible.

  Kyle leaned over her shoulder to read the screen. He caught his breath. “Sara, this is from eight years ago. Maybe you shouldn’t—”

  “What?” She turned her head. His face was mere inches from hers and her heart raced.

  “Nothing.” His face closed up.

  “It’s about a tornado in Ontario,” she said, turning back to
read the screen. “My mother’s name led me here so there must be something about her, but it keeps changing so I can’t get where I want to go. See?”

  “Let me sit there for a minute, would you?”

  Sara traded places with Kyle, admiring the way his capable hands flew over the keys while she waited. Part of her wanted to read whatever it had to say about her mother, but another part, a part she kept pushing away, was afraid to read it.

  She’d told herself she’d been too busy getting ready for the grand opening, that she hadn’t had the time or energy to get back on this site. But her need to find her mother outweighed that tiny fear crouched deep inside. Maybe her mother had moved to Ontario. Maybe there was information about her new address. Maybe she’d finally find her mother and the rest of her family.

  Hope built fast and furious until her brain urged Hurry. Hurry. Hurry, Kyle.

  “Okay.” Kyle rose and stepped to one side, his voice devoid of all emotion. “Click on it again,” he told her.

  “But what if—”

  “Are you afraid to see what’s there?” he demanded.

  “Yes. A little,” she admitted. “But I still want to know.” She frowned at him. “I want to know the truth, whatever it is.”

  “Then click on it,” Kyle ordered.

  Not understanding why he sounded so harsh, Sara clicked the mouse and watched the page refresh.

  “I don’t see my mother’s name or anything about her on here,” she said. “In fact, this isn’t quite the same. It looks like some kind of newspaper article now.”

  “It is. The Scarborough Tribune. Scroll down. You may find something near the bottom.” Again he sounded angry and she didn’t know why.

  After a sideways glance at his face, Sara could feel tension grip Kyle’s body. She saw his fist clench against his thigh as if to prepare for something. She wanted to ask him what was wrong but didn’t. It had been a long day. Maybe his leg hurt?

  “What are you waiting for, Sara?”

  “Oh, sorry. I’m holding you up, aren’t I?” She scrolled down, scanning paragraphs for the name she wanted. At the bottom of the page she saw it. Eagerly she read the information under the heading “Twister.”

  And stopped.

  “Oh, please, God, no.” Her breath snagged in her throat. Her heart beat like a lead mallet in her chest. Hot tears rolled down her face and Sara was utterly powerless to stop them.

  Among the dead was a forty-nine-year-old woman, Sophia Kane, believed to be traveling through the area when the tornado struck. Next of kin have yet to be notified.

  “Sara.” Kyle’s fingers closed around her shoulders, turning her face away from the computer screen so she could see only him. “I’m so sorry.”

  “She’s dead, Kyle. All this time I’ve been dreaming about how we’d connect and how she’d tell me she’d always loved me and wanted me back and—she’s dead?” She looked at him, silently begging him to make it better and knowing he couldn’t. No one could. “Why didn’t I know? Why didn’t I feel it? Shouldn’t you know when your own mother dies? Shouldn’t there be a bond that’s broken and you know they’re gone?”

  “I didn’t know when my dad died,” he murmured. “I was closer to him than you were to your mom and I didn’t know, so don’t feel guilty.” His arms drew her up. He rose with her and held her close, pressing her against him.

  “I feel—stupid, like I should have known,” she sobbed.

  “How could you know?” Kyle’s fingers threaded through her hair, smoothing back the strands. Though he wiped the tears from her cheeks repeatedly, more kept coming.

  Desperate to feel connected to someone, Sara slid her arms around Kyle’s neck and hung on as a storm of grief battered her heart.

  Nothing in her world felt secure anymore. Nothing but Kyle.

  What would she do when he left?

  And yet he wasn’t really hers to hang on to. What man would ever want someone like her, someone without a base, a heritage, even a history? Someone who didn’t know anything about loving or being loved?

  No man would want a woman like her. But for now, for a few moments, she clung to Kyle as the knowledge that she’d never hear her mother’s voice again, never see her face or feel her love, swamped her.

  “I know how much it hurts, Sara.” His breath grazed the tip of her ear as he whispered the words. “I only wish I could make it better for you.”

  “You are.” She tucked her head under his chin, wondering how she’d go on, alone. “Thank you for being here, Kyle.”

  If only he could stay, be the one she could turn to. Always.

  In sudden clarity, Sara knew her feelings for this man were changing, but to what? She was confused by the crazy joy that exploded inside when he held her. She had to distance herself. Now.

  Accepting the tissue Kyle pressed into her hands, she gently pulled away from him.

  “I’m sorry for soaking your shirt,” she murmured.

  “My shirt doesn’t matter.” He pressed the damp strands of hair back from her face. “What will you do now, Sara?”

  “Do?” She frowned at him. “I’ll keep looking for clues, of course. I still haven’t found my father.”

  Kyle seemed astonished. “You want to go on searching?”

  “If it was your family, wouldn’t you?” she demanded.

  “Maybe not right after I’d received this news,” he said. “You’re one gutsy lady, Sara Kane.”

  “The way you say it, I’m not sure if that’s a good thing or a bad thing,” she said, forcing a laugh but unable to dismiss the respect in his words.

  Kyle’s stare made Sara uncomfortable. If she wasn’t so clueless about men, she might have thought that was admiration glimmering in his eyes. But why would Kyle admire her? She’d never been anywhere or done anything special. She wasn’t a hero like him.

  “I meant is as a compliment, Sara.” Said like that, she couldn’t doubt his sincerity.

  “Well, thank you.” She blushed and backed away. The look in his eyes made her stomach flutter nervously. What was wrong with her? “I guess Teddy is probably looking for you. You must want to get home. Is your leg giving you pain?”

  For some reason that question seemed to irritate him. “My leg is fine,” he said.

  “Good.” She didn’t know what else to say.

  “Can I ask you something, Sara?”

  Surprised, she nodded.

  “What do you think about Rod’s website idea?”

  The question surprised her. She stared at him, watching as he leaned back on his heels. But he was watching her, his gaze unsettling as he watched her print off the page about her mother then shut down the computer.

  “It seems to help him accept his uncle’s death. Maybe it would help others if they could get online and talk to someone who’s gone through what they have.” She tilted her head to look at him. “Did you find it helpful to share your sorrow over your mother’s death?”

  “I didn’t talk to anyone. Why do people always assume you’ll feel better if you talk?” he demanded in a cranky tone.

  “Because a sorrow shared is a sorrow beared, or something like that.” She frowned. “I can’t remember exactly how Lucy put it but it made sense at the time.”

  A laugh burst from him.

  “What’s so funny?” She walked to the door and waited for him to catch up.

  “You’re just like Lucy. For as long as I can remember she’s always tried to ease someone else’s load, too. It’s—admirable,” he said after a tiny pause.

  “The Bible says we’re supposed to share one another’s burdens,” she reminded him.

  “I knew you’d say that.” Kyle’s broad shoulders shook with laughter again. He stopped in front of her and tilted her chin up so he could look into her eyes. His own sparkled with amusement.

  “Are you laughing at me?” she said, feeling foolish and sort of offended at the same time.

  “Admiring you,” Kyle corrected. “If there’s one thing I ca
n count on with you, Sara, it’s that you will always, somehow, someway, bring the discussion back to God.”

  “Don’t you think God’s worth thinking about?” She didn’t expect him to answer. Kyle had become an expert at dodging her questions whenever he didn’t want to reveal his thoughts.

  Sara said nothing as she led him to the kitchen and poured them both a glass of juice and set them on the table.

  “I do think about God, Sara.” Kyle’s voice emerged in a low whisper. “I think about Him a lot. I think about what He was doing when my parents died and when I lost my leg. Where was He when your mother died?” His eyes burned into her.

  Sara held his gaze, silently praying for words that would help him shed his anger, words that would lift him up and enable him to see possibilities. She could hear Teddy and Laurel arguing as they came down the hall, and knew she had only a second or two before they arrived. So she said the only thing she could think of.

  “I can’t be angry at God,” she murmured. “He has a plan for my life. I just don’t know what it is yet.”

  It hurt to see pity fill Kyle’s face. Sara didn’t know what to say, how to make him understand, so she said nothing. Soon after that the men left and Laurel went to bed, leaving Sara alone.

  She wandered into the living room and sank down on the floor in front of the huge picture window that looked out across the tundra.

  The full moon lit the world in front of her so brightly it looked like early morning. As a hush descended on the building, Sara thought back on her conversation with Kyle. How she longed for him to let go of his pain and renew his faith.

  “Show me how to help him, Lord. Make me a blessing.”

  As she prayed, she couldn’t stop replaying those moments in the computer room with him. His comforting embrace had soothed the pain of her mother’s loss but it had also reenergized her yearning to be loved.

  “Kyle needs Your help, God. He’s getting himself tied up in anger and loss and losing sight of all You’ve given him.”