Fashionably Flawed: Book Nine, The Hot Damned Series

by Robyn Peterman

  Damn it to Hell and back, Fate’s words came back to me…

  “You’re connected to the Sirens?” I demanded,

  “What exactly do you think I am?” Fate snapped.

  “A bitch?” I inquired.

  “Touché,” she shot back. “That’s an acquired personality trait.”

  I hadn’t been listening carefully enough. All of it was there for the taking and I kept missing it. How many times could my carelessness bite me in the ass?

  “Go on,” I pressed.

  “Once—thousands of years ago—I came across her. She was revered by our kind. To be chosen as the holder of destiny was an honor that gave us hope we could change and survive in this world. But alas, she was cold and evil. She pulled from our collective magic and became more powerful herself. Fate did nothing to help our kind—never lifted a finger to aid us. Slowly we all died off.”

  “Except for you and Elle,” I finished. “And Fate.”

  “Yes.”

  Pacing the room, I wondered if that bitch Fate had sent me on a wild goose chase to find the Sirens so she could take their power. She was failing on the job—drinking and regularly screwing up. Did she need the lives of my Siren and her mother to survive? And why in the Hell was I mixed up in this shit? I needed to search for the damned darkness headed my way.

  “Many times I’ve wanted to kill Fate with my bare hands for what she did to me, but I’ve stopped myself every time. With her in charge, at least I knew what I was dealing with—a deranged heartless bitch,” I said, speaking truthfully for once. “If she were to be destroyed, what or who would take her place?”

  “There are things far worse than a cold bitch,” Sadie said.

  “Correct,” I replied. “And what if nothing was to replace her? Where would we be then?”

  “Masters of our own fate?” the Siren suggested.

  “Fate is an elusive term,” I said dryly. “Fate has a past but very little to show for it. She sees the future, but barely exists in the present as she’s a sloppy drunk. Unfortunately, she can’t be bribed or swayed. Humans are the only masters of their own fate. My brother’s gift of free will gave them that. But the Immortals? I don’t know.”

  “Depressing,” Sadie commented.

  “Accurate,” I countered.

  “You kissed her,” Sadie said.

  “I kissed who?” I asked, knowing full well to whom she was referring.

  “You kissed Elle.”

  “I did.”

  “And you lived.”

  “Clearly,” I said with an eye roll. “I’m not susceptible to the charms of a Siren. I’m fucking Sa…no, let me rephrase. I’m Satan.”

  Her laugh set my teeth on edge. “I’d beg to differ, Satan. But that’s for you and my Elle to figure out. As for now, I shall not tell her who you are. It’s not my place. But a word to the wise, the longer you lie to her, the less likely the chance to win her.”

  “Like she hasn’t lied to me?” I snapped, throwing my hands up and singing a fiery hole in the ceiling. “Whoops, my bad.”

  With a wave of my hand I repaired the room—the damage I’d done and the damage she’d done.

  “Demons and Sirens are a delicate match,” she said, nodding her head in thanks for my nifty clean up magic. “Two wrongs rarely make a right, but even the word rare leaves some wiggle room. Good things can happen to bad people and bad things can happen to good.”

  My head whipped up and I pinned her with my angry gaze. I’d heard those exact words recently from Fate. This puzzle kept getting larger and unfortunately more of the damned pieces were missing.

  “I’m leaving,” I said tonelessly. “Good things do not happen to all bad people, Siren. I, more than anyone, know this. Hell is simply full of innocent people. Just ask them.”

  “Will you be back?” she asked.

  Would I? Yes. I knew I couldn’t stay away from my Siren, but if I didn’t find the darkness and end it, I wouldn’t be alive to find out if good things did happen to bad people—and neither would she—nor would any other living being.

  “Possibly,” I hedged.

  “I’d say it’s been delightful meeting you, but I’d be lying,” Sadie said.

  “Well then, I’ll be happy to lie,” I said with a grin. “It was a delight meeting you, Siren. Be seeing you soon.”

  With that I conjured up a blast of black magic and engulfed myself in the glittering enchantment. I disappeared in a cloud of sparkling smoke. There was only one problem. I was still on the same damned plane. Without the glasses, I couldn’t find the portal.

  Not only was I on the same fucking plane, I was in the same fucking room. Rolling my eyes, I marched over to the dying Siren and waved my hand in front of her face.

  Nothing.

  Good. She couldn’t see me.

  It would be wildly embarrassing to have to materialize and explain that the Harbinger of Evil couldn’t find the damn door. No worries. I’d go back to the studio and find the glasses.

  “Oh God, no,” Sadie screamed as an explosion of purple magic tore through the room and Elle and her boys came back.

  What the Hell? I stayed cloaked in invisibility as I made my way back and I almost imploded in rage. What the fuck kind of army did Elle have if this was how she came out of battle? The need to kill all of the Eunuchs consumed me, but I knew remaining unseen was more of an advantage at the moment. More truth was apt to be spoken if they thought they were alone. However, the Eunuchs were mine after I had what I needed.

  Elle lay bloody and torn up in the arms of one of the Eunuchs who gently laid her on the couch. Sadie, wrapped her arms around her and rocked her as she cried.

  “I have your soul,” Elle whispered as she held the blindingly bright amethyst orb in her hand. “Open your robe.”

  Sadie did as she was told and Elle pressed the glowing entity to the woman’s chest. It was absorbed immediately and the sick Siren became the picture of health. However, Elle was not.

  Unacceptable.

  I took a seat on the far side of the room and waited for the information to flow. I was not disappointed.

  Impending darkness would have to wait.

  Chapter Sixteen

  “What happened?” Sadie demanded, still holding a quickly healing Elle in her arms. “Were you caught in the Troll Palace?”

  “No, we weren’t,” Elle said, sitting up with effort and running her hands through her hair.

  Goddamn, she was beautiful. Even torn up and bleeding she was exquisite. I was actually jealous of her hands. I wanted my own fingers tangled in her hair… and all over her body as well.

  The Eunuchs kneeled around her with their handsome, wimpy and entirely useless heads bowed. The bastards were supposed to be killing machines. No killing machine worth their salt would let the one they were sworn to protect take on injuries like the ones my Siren had. Fucking worthless. From now on she’d travel with a pack of Demons—female Demons. I could never trust a male Demon as far as I could throw him around the Siren.

  “Explain,” Sadie said tersely, taking the words from my mouth.

  “There’s a man—a Demon—absolutely awful. He’s rude, narcissistic, profane… just awful. I want him.”

  “A Demon did this to you?”

  “No, a Demon did not do this to me.”

  I almost materialized I was so pissed. A Demon had better not have done this to Elle. He would be a very dead Demon if he’d so much as laid a hand on her.

  “Does this side story pertain to why you’ve been wounded?” Sadie asked, shaking her head in frustration.

  “It does. I promise. As I was saying, I want to keep this man.”

  “You can’t have a man,” Sadie replied.

  “This one I can. He withstood the enchantment when I kissed him.”

  “You kissed him?” Sadie questioned.

  “Not exactly,” Elle admitted with a delighted grin. “He kissed me, but I swear I warned him. He’s clearly unbalanced and insane. There’s p
robably something incredibly wrong with him, but I don’t care. He’s perfect for me.”

  “We’ll discuss your Demon after you tell me what happened.”

  “Fine,” she said with an annoyed sigh. “I slipped in, stole your soul back, and replaced it with mine without incident. The Troll King was asleep and it was the easiest it’s ever been.”

  “And,” Sadie pushed for more.

  “Aaaand, then I went back to the romance convention where the disgusting, vile Demon killed the Trolls for me.”

  I rolled my eyes. She could really cut back on the adjectives and it would be fine…

  “I wanted to get his book and read about him. He’s such a heinous liar. I was hoping to get some insight into his deranged mind,” Elle continued.

  “And you were attacked for trying to get the Demon’s book?” Sadie asked, confused.

  “Umm… no. Unfortunately, the Trolls showed up again.”

  Son of a bitch. I no longer cared about the balance. The Trolls were now on my To Do list of things to fucking wipe off the face of the Earth.

  Sadie stood and paced the room in agitation. She came dangerously close to me and I wondered if she knew I was present.

  “Your Demon left,” she said.

  “Not possible. I locked him in a cage,” Elle said looking alarmed and crestfallen at the same time.

  “Darling, the way to keep a man doesn’t include locking him in a cage.”

  “Seriously? How was I supposed to know this? I’ve never met a man I haven’t killed,” Elle shouted. “What was I supposed to do? Let him follow me and get hurt? I find the one dreadful, immoral, sinful and wicked whack job who can touch me without turning to dust. I want to keep him. What’s wrong with that?”

  “If this Demon can withstand your magic, I would assume he’s fairly hard to kill,” Sadie pointed out.

  “Not taking any chances. When I find that bastard, I’ll handcuff him to me. He will not get away from me so easily again.”

  Hell in a gasoline brushfire. This woman was sadistically perfect for me.

  “Good luck with that,” Sadie muttered. “You have a hundred years before we have to get your soul back. Just be very careful.”

  “Careful is what I’ve been waiting a lifetime not to do,” Elle shot back with a grin. “I feel like I can be semi-normal for the first time in my life and it feels good.”

  “We can’t keep existing like this,” Sadie said. “Something has been pulling on both of our powers for centuries. I used to think it was the Trolls, but now I’m not as certain.”

  “May I be so bold to speak, my lady?” a Eunuch asked.

  “You may,” Elle said.

  “We don’t know why the Troll King wants your souls. Wouldn’t it behoove us to know why they want them to try and end this deadly game?”

  All right. Fine. I wouldn’t kill that one. He had a brain and had made an excellent point.

  Elle nodded and patted his head.

  Shit, now I had to kill him.

  “If we knew that, we probably wouldn’t be in the position we’re in,” Elle agreed.

  “I think it’s Fate,” Sadie said.

  “Isn’t everything?” Elle snapped.

  “No,” Sadie insisted. “I think Fate—the actual woman—has something at stake here.”

  “What?” Elle asked.

  “No clue, but you can bet your life, I’m going to find out.”

  “I believe I can help you with that,” I said materializing in a blast of black glitter much to the shocked surprise of all in the room.

  The Eunuchs pulled their swords, but the harsh glance and hiss from Elle made them stand down immediately. Sadie was the only one aware that neither the Eunuchs nor their swords stood a chance against me. For the moment, we would keep it that way.

  “Well, look what the cat dragged in,” Elle said, crossing her arms over her chest and glaring at me. “You’re supposed to be in your cage, Demon.”

  “Umm… not really the way to greet someone you want to keep,” Sadie said under her breath.

  “No, trust me. He loves it,” Elle whispered back. “He’s not right in the head, but he’s so beautiful I can overlook that part.”

  With an eye roll that should have won an Oscar, I crossed the room and examined my Siren. She’d healed nicely. I waved my hand and dressed both women in appropriate attire for what we were about to embark on.

  Elle promptly wiggled her nose redressed herself in a far more provocative little number that made my pants tent. It really wouldn’t do to be aroused where we were going, but I was quite sure that my erection would deflate at warp speed once we reached our destination.

  “I can help you find Fate.”

  “And what exactly will that cost, Demon?” Elle inquired with a raised brow.

  I gave her a lopsided grin that caused her breath to hitch unsteadily. “I’ll have to get back to you on that one, Siren.”

  “You know where Fate is?” Sadie asked, her voice full of suspicion. “Elle and I can’t go to the mortal plane together. It’s too dangerous.”

  “Trust me where we’re going is far more dangerous than the mortal plane,” I replied, unable to pull my eyes from Adrielle.

  “And Fate will be at the end of this excursion?” Elle asked, looking me up and down like I was a piece of meat and she was a starving carnivore.

  It was so rudely erotic, I was tempted to grab her and take her back to Hell. Screw the impending darkness. If my end was fated, there was very little I could do about it. I might as well be having a world shattering orgasm when the darkness took me.

  “No, but where I am taking you will lead us to Fate,” I replied, giving her back her own medicine as I undressed her with my eyes.

  “Where are we going?” Sadie asked, stepping between us and purposely breaking the spells we were casting on each other.

  “To my mother’s house.”

  “Seriously?” Elle asked, wrinkling her nose. “The same one who you referred to as an insane whack job who spilled lemonade on your suit—which caused you to arrive naked?”

  “The very same,” I confirmed, knowing I was opening a massive can of eternal nosiness by taking the Sirens to Nirvana. But all of this was connected somehow. Maybe the darkness was connected as well.

  “You showed up here naked?” Sadie asked with a burst of laughter.

  “He most certainly did,” Elle informed her mother with a wide grin.

  “Nice move,” Sadie congratulated me.

  “Thank you.”

  “And your mother’s name?” Sadie changed the subject from my spectacular entrance back to the matter at hand. Of course she knew the answer full well since she was aware of exactly who I was.

  “Mother Nature,” I replied.

  “You have got to fucking kidding me,” Elle said, narrowing her eyes dangerously. “Mother Nature is Blade Inferno’s mother?”

  “Yes,” I replied, loving her insolence. I just hoped it remained once she knew my true identity. “Blade Inferno is her son amongst a few others.”

  “I do believe Blade Inferno might have some explaining to do,” Elle said, going toe to toe with me.

  My laugh filled the room and Elle grinned despite herself. “All in good time, little Siren. Are we ready?”

  Sadie nodded but Elle just gave me the stink eye, much to my delight.

  “Very well then. Hold on. This is going to be a bumpy ride.”

  Truer words had never been spoken.

  Chapter Seventeen

  My mother had lost her fucking mind.

  Within minutes of our arrival, a feast fit for a king was laid out. I felt compelled to warn our guests that the food was inedible and possibly poisonous, but my mother was standing too close. Risking a massive explosion wasn’t on the agenda, so I said nothing.

  Soft violin music floated on the air and she’d dimmed the lights in her palace with a flick of her fingers. Even her monkeys were on board. The little bastards were wearing formal wear
and passing out flutes of champagne.

  And I was correct about losing my erection. Mother Nature was the answer to controlling the population.

  “I’m just so thrilled. He’s never brought a girl here before,” she squealed as she yanked Elle into her arms and squeezed until my Siren turned an unnatural shade of blue. “And you’re so pretty!”

  “Enough,” I snapped, peeling my mother off of Elle. “Mother, this is not a social call.”

  “Oh pish,” Mother Nature sang, shoving me out of the way. She grabbed Elle and Sadie and tossed them down on an elaborately floral and ultra feminine couch.

  Wedging herself between the startled women, she took Elle’s hand in hers and smiled like the loon she was.

  “I don’t have baby pictures because cameras didn’t exist back then, but I assure you he was a gorgeous child. Sure, he was a bit of a handful, but what else would one expect of Lucifer?”

  The expression on Elle’s face went from surprise to shock and then turned to fury in a flash. Her hands immediately began to spark and sizzling black fire spit from her fingertips as her eyes found mine.

  “What an asshole,” she shouted. “You’re the fucking Devil? When were you going to tell me that, Blade Inferno?”

  “Whoops,” Mother Nature said with enormous eyes and a joyous cackle. She hopped up and placed herself where she would have the best vantage point of the showdown about to occur.

  “You never asked my real name,” I replied, walking closer to the black flames. “You simply asked if Blade Inferno was my real name.”

  “It’s not,” my mother volunteered unhelpfully while grinning from ear to ear. “I have far better taste than that. I’d never give any child of mine a male stripper name.”

  The statement was absurd coming from a woman who spent a great deal of time dancing on a pole.

  “Blade Inferno is not a male stripper name,” I snapped, glaring at my mother. “It’s the name of the highest paid fucking romance author in the world.”

  “Total stripper name,” Elle said, siding with my deranged mother.

  “I’d have to agree,” Sadie added, moving to sit with Mother Nature. “You wrote a romance?”