Breathless & Bloodstained (The Chicago War #4)

by Bethany-Kris

  “I’m scared,” Alessa finally said.

  “You’re going to be a great mother, and Adriano will be—”

  “A great dad, I know.”

  Abriella laughed. “Just last minute cold feet, huh?”

  “Maybe,” Alessa said. “Adriano had something to handle tonight, so I couldn’t talk to him. He always makes me feel better.”

  “What about Evelina?”

  “Um …”

  “What?” Abriella demanded.

  “You don’t know?”

  “Obviously not. What did I miss?”

  “Evelina didn’t come home with us after Theo got out of the hospital yesterday,” Alessa explained. “She’s living down in DeLuca territory.”

  “With Theo,” Abriella said quietly.

  “Yeah.”

  She wasn’t surprised at the news. In fact, when Abriella visited Evelina while Theo was still in his coma, she had a sneaking suspicion that her old friend wouldn’t be going too far from the DeLuca principe’s side.

  Love was funny in that way.

  “Why didn’t you mention that to me yesterday when we visited Theo?”

  “I didn’t think it made a difference,” Alessa said.

  “Who else knows?” Abriella asked.

  “Adriano said it isn’t anyone else’s business but his, Theo’s, and Evelina’s. So, I guess no one really. They aren’t hiding it, but no one is talking about it, either. Riley is dead, and Adriano gets to make the calls for Eve. He’s letting her be free.”

  “Shit.”

  “I know,” Alessa murmured softly.

  “What does that even feel like, to be free?”

  “I only got my freedom because you did it for me, Ella. But I still paid a price for it. It’s never really as free as you think it is.”

  Alessa was right. A great portion of the Outfit had turned their back on the young Conti couple because of their choices and mistakes. The sneaking around and sleeping together could have been ignored, but the accidental pregnancy was a huge rule breaker. Abriella couldn’t bear the thought of her sister being dragged through the mud for something as innocent as a baby, but she wouldn’t allow Alessa to be abused by Joel’s manipulation and behavior for another day.

  So, she had done what she needed to do.

  Alessa was free.

  Abriella didn’t have the first clue how to go about achieving her own freedom now that everyone else around her had gotten free of their cages. Lily Rossi had been forced into an arranged marriage, but ended up falling in love with her determined husband. She had found her way home after spending years running away. Alessa had surely taken heat for her choices with Adriano, but in the end, she still had him. And now, even Evelina Conti was breaking the rules and the Outfit’s expectations by choosing a man she wanted, not one chosen for her.

  Freedom.

  It was a private dream of Abriella’s that she wasn’t sure would ever come to fruition. Not after everything that had happened. There was a time once, when her grandfather was still alive, that she thought maybe … just maybe.

  Not anymore.

  “Abriella?” Alessa asked.

  Shaking the depressing thoughts away, Abriella said, “Yeah, I’m here.”

  “I’ve been thinking a lot lately, too.”

  “Oh, about what?”

  “A few things …”

  Blowing out a heavy breath, Abriella said, “Just tell me.”

  “Terrance, for one.”

  “Oh,” Abriella mumbled.

  “Yeah. Have you talked to Mom—”

  “No, and I won’t. I don’t want to know what happened years ago. I live in the now, Lissa. Everything that happened back then has already happened. It’s done and over with.”

  “But don’t you want to know if it’s true? Don’t you want to know if we’re really Peter’s children, or Terrance’s?”

  “No,” Abriella admitted. “I don’t.”

  It was the truth. Abriella hadn’t given her paternity much consideration ever since she found out the secrets of her mother’s past involvement with her deceased grandfather. It just wasn’t important, although things in her life had made a lot more sense after the truth came out.

  Like how close Terrance had always been to her, why he let her get away with so much, and how he always treated her like she was the little queen of the family.

  Yeah, she understood it all now.

  “Okay,” Alessa finally said.

  “Is that not the answer you want?”

  “It doesn’t matter to me, honestly. You, on the other hand, I was curious.”

  “Who my father is doesn’t make a difference to who I am, Alessa. I’m still a Trentini, either way. I don’t see myself differently.” Abriella pushed upward in the bed until she was sitting cross-legged. “You said there were a few things you were thinking about. What was the rest?”

  “Our conversation yesterday when we were leaving the hospital.”

  “Tommas,” Abriella said.

  “Yeah, him. I just want to make sure you’re okay, Ella. You’ve been messing around with Tommas for years, and I know you don’t talk about him and all that business, but I worry. Especially now with the Outfit in an uproar after Riley’s death, and Joel like he is. It makes me nervous. Tommas is in the middle of that—you’re never far behind.”

  Abriella drew in as much air as her lungs could take until her chest burned. She refused to let the immediate rush of betrayal and anger wash over her again. She wouldn’t allow the sadness and memories to take precedence over the lies and pain Tommas had caused her.

  He ruined her.

  She’d given him everything—anything she could that wouldn’t destroy her. He’d taken her trust, the most important thing she had to hand over to him, and he tossed it away with one simple action.

  All Tommas had needed to do was tell Abriella what he planned to do. Before the fake engagement to her best friend, he should have taken her aside. Anything other than what he did would have been fine with her.

  Instead, he embarrassed her, hurt her, and his remorse meant little. At the same time, she couldn’t quite say goodbye to him.

  Control, she reminded herself.

  It was something she found herself saying far too much where Tommas Rossi was concerned. Four years of her life had been tied into that man. Abriella had always held Tommas at a distance to where he couldn’t get too close, not enough to cause her pain.

  Their relationship had been a cat and mouse chase for years. Sometimes, she wasn’t sure if she was the prey or the predator where he was concerned. Tommas always let her be whatever it was that she needed to be. Her little games with him over the years had spun wildly out of control, and by the time she realized what happened, it was too late.

  They were supposed to be easy.

  Done when it was over.

  A forgotten thought.

  Nothing was simple.

  Tommas wanted one thing from Abriella. Just one. Love. She wouldn’t give it—not freely. She wouldn’t say it. He hadn’t earned it yet. Abriella didn’t know if he ever would.

  And then he hurt her. Without care or concern, regardless of his motives to get closer to her, Tommas had shredded every bit of faith Abriella had in him. His promises, all of his declarations of love, his assurance of fidelity … it meant nothing.

  Not anymore.

  She couldn’t let it.

  Control, Abriella repeated silently.

  She intended to keep it, no matter what. Even if it cost her the heart in her chest and the soul she didn’t even believe she had. Tommas would never get her control again. He’d always had it before. Between them, he held the weight. He pulled the strings.

  She was nothing more than a stupid girl caught up in a game with a much older man. She wrongly thought she had the power between them, and he proved her wrong in the worst way.

  “Abriella, you didn’t answer me,” Alessa said, drawing Abriella from her thoughts. “Are you okay?”r />
  “I’m not okay,” Abriella said.

  It was the first and only time she would say those words. Trentinis weren’t weak. They didn’t cry if they could help it, and they were too stubborn for their own good.

  Abriella wasn’t that kind of woman, anyway.

  “But I will be,” Abriella added.

  “When?” Alessa asked.

  That, Abriella couldn’t answer.

  She didn’t know how.

  “I thought I saw him following us yesterday,” Abriella said.

  “Oh? I didn’t notice him.”

  “I almost wished he had been. I do miss him. I just don’t know if I can trust him not to hurt me again.”

  “You look like shit.”

  Abriella hadn’t even walked two feet into the kitchen, and already her day was starting out in a terrible way. After being woken up by her sister’s phone call in the middle of the night, Abriella hadn’t been able to fall back to sleep. Add in having to sit through breakfast with her brother, and Abriella just wanted to go back upstairs and hide.

  “Is that the first thing you want to say to your sister when you see her in the morning?” Abriella asked.

  “Seriously, you look awful,” Joel said, tossing the newspaper on the table. “What did you do, stay up all night?”

  “No, but thanks, Joel,” Abriella said, smiling as sardonically as she could manage. “I never wonder why you can’t find a woman to put up with you anymore. You show me exactly why every time you open your mouth.”

  Joel’s smirk melted into a scowl instantly. “I don’t have a wife because I haven’t found the right woman who makes me want to marry her.”

  “Sure, sure.”

  Ignoring the glare her brother was leveling on her, Abriella strolled across the kitchen to the island. A plate of hot waffles smothered in syrup was waiting for her, cooked by their chef and maid. Thanking the chef quietly, Abriella walked to her seat at the opposite end of the table from Joel and sat down.

  Figuring if her brother was in an asshole-ish enough mood to poke at her like he had, then maybe she should poke back.

  “What about Chloe?” Abriella asked, cutting a triangle slice out of her waffle.

  Joel’s head snapped up, his gaze cutting in her direction. “I beg your pardon?”

  “Chloe Belli. Why aren’t you making something official with her? Or are you not messing around with her anymore? Was the fact she was playing whore to Riley Conti too embarrassing for you?”

  “That’s none of your business.”

  Abriella scoffed. “You wouldn’t say the same thing if I was messing around with a guy.”

  “Because it isn’t the same thing, Ella.”

  Right …

  Double standards and all.

  Their life was full of them.

  “Actually, I know why you won’t marry Chloe,” Abriella said.

  Joel’s lips formed a tight, angry line. “Is that so?”

  “Sure, because you’ve treated her like nothing more than a piece of ass for you to use when you want to stick your dick in something. Now, that’s exactly how everyone else sees her. She isn’t wife material because you’ve made her that way. Too bad, I think the girl might have actually liked you, Joel.”

  “Excuse—”

  “And God knows there aren’t very many people left who do like you,” Abriella finished with a smile. “Not with the way you’ve treated and used all of us.”

  Joel’s mouth dropped open as his gaze flashed with unhidden rage. Abriella wasn’t frightened in the least, and certainly not in the face of her brother’s anger. Over the years, she had learned that Joel was like any bully. Once you stood up to him and backed him into a corner, he would quit.

  Cowards always did.

  “That’s quite enough,” Joel said, his tone dark with a warning.

  Abriella shrugged. “Whatever you say. Frankly, I just think it’s sad. You could have your pick of women, Joel. Anyone you wanted, you could have. If you loved her, even better. What is so wrong with you that you’re more focused on making everyone else miserable instead of making yourself happy?”

  Joel’s palm hit the table before he stood fast from his seat. “I said that’s enough, Ella.”

  Despite his anger, Abriella could see a hint of sadness in her brother’s eyes as well. Joel was an asshole, a royal one, but he was still human. He hid his feelings well, sure, but he still felt them like any person did.

  She almost wished that knowing what she did about Joel was enough to make her feel sorry for him, but it didn’t. He’d done this to his family, to himself, and to anyone else he touched.

  The man was rotten to his core.

  Poison.

  “Have you ever considered that what would make me happy might just be something that makes everyone else miserable?” Joel asked quietly.

  Abriella continued cutting her waffles into triangles. “Then all that makes you is a useless excuse for breath, brother. You’ve never gave a damn about any of us, so it’s not a big surprise. The last thing you would ever do is care, never mind put someone else first.”

  Joel flashed a cruel smile. “Why should I, Ella?”

  “Because we’re your family. That’s what family does.”

  “This family lies.”

  She would give him that, but not much else.

  “That doesn’t mean you have to go out of your way to purposely hurt us, Joel,” Abriella said calmly.

  “Why shouldn’t I?” he asked. “My whole life has been nothing but stains of shame from our parents and being dismissed by the man who helped to bring me into this world. They raised me this way—they created me. And you expect me to give a damn about any of you? When you make a monster, Ella, you don’t complain about having to live with him.”

  Abriella swallowed hard, taking in the hatred coating her brother’s every word as he spat them at her. “I didn’t do any of that.”

  “You didn’t have to.” Joel’s coldness was back in a flash, replacing the anger he had previously shown. “You, like Alessa, don’t have the first clue of what it feels like to be the unwanted one, to be the mistake, and the shame everyone tried to cover up.”

  Abriella held back from shouting the truth of her own unknown paternity at her brother, but only because she didn’t want to give him anymore ammo to hurt people with. He’d already done enough of that.

  She finally understood him, though.

  “You’re jealous,” Abriella said. “That’s it, isn’t it?”

  Joel’s jaw clenched. “No.”

  “Liar. You’re just like the rest of us, Joel, a goddamn liar. And sad—a fucking pity. You hate our mother for nothing more than the fact she birthed you instead of aborting you. You hate me and Alessa simply for being alive. And you hate everyone else because your behavior and attitude is so vile that they don’t want to be anywhere near you. Deny it, Joel.”

  Between the three siblings, Abriella was the tough one. She knew it, and so did her brother and sister. She wasn’t afraid to speak up, step out, or cause a problem if need be. She also wouldn’t let Joel push her around if she could help it. Their whole life was nothing but Joel’s attitude and anger. Years and years of his verbal abuse ripped out chunks of their family and left them bleeding on the floor.

  Abriella refused to let Joel keep doing that to her. He had already practically taken her sister from her given that she could only talk and spend time with Alessa when Joel agreed. Her relationship with her parents was strained because of how awful Joel treated them while refusing them any say in Abriella’s life. She had no friends that she could turn to, no life of her own to control or live, and even her choice to love was not her own to make.

  “If you want to talk about making monsters, Joel,” Abriella said, keeping her cold smile in place, “… then look no further from the one you’ve created in your own house.”

  Her brother stared at her, and did nothing else.

  Then, very quietly, Joel said, “Get ou
t of my face.”

  He could dish it, but he couldn’t take it.

  Abriella wasn’t surprised.

  “I’m eating.”

  “No, you’re leaving. I want you gone.”

  Abriella sneered. “Be careful what you wish for, brother.”

  Grabbing her messenger bag with her laptop and textbooks from the upstairs library, Abriella sent off a text to her enforcer. It was her way of letting the guy know that she would be leaving the house soon. She knew better than to simply skip out with no notice, because the fool would report back to Joel in a heartbeat.

  Abriella wasn’t interested in that nonsense.

  Once a day was enough.

  Half-way down the second floor corridor, voices from the upper level traveled down to Abriella’s spot. Her mother and father, actually. Confused at why her parents weren’t in their own wing of the Trentini mansion, she rounded the stairs instead of going down like she had planned.

  Midway up the stairs, Abriella was able to see over the top few stairs. Down the hall, her parents stood toe to toe, with Sara backed into the wall and Peter barricading her there with his arms on either side of her body. Tears streaked down her mother’s cheeks, but Peter was quick to wipe them away.

  “I’m sorry,” Sara whispered.

  “Don’t,” Peter said, softer than Abriella had ever heard her father speak. “I know it’s hard for you, sweetheart. I’ve never assumed differently.”

  Abriella knew, somehow, that she was intruding on something that she shouldn’t be seeing. Her parents had never been anything but respectful and kind to one another. She had never witnessed the two publically fight as she grew up. Her childhood had been a relatively happy one.

  But this … this felt laced with something else entirely.

  “You can talk to me, Sara,” Peter said. “Just tell me anything.”

  “I keep coming back here. I shouldn’t and I do.”

  “Punishing yourself.”

  “Maybe.”

  Abriella’s gaze flitted past her parents to the large oak doors they stood just beyond. It had once been her grandfather’s office, and where he had ultimately been killed. Sara had found Terrance that morning with a gunshot to his face, and his matter coating the walls.