Chasing Love

by Melissa West

  She nodded and slipped into the passenger seat, her spine pencil straight, her eyes trained out the windshield. “I can feel it, ya know? Five deployments in three years, and it never gets easier to hear him say good-bye.”

  The pain in her voice made Charlie wish they were closer, that he could pull her to him and help her work through this before she saw her brother. Because he knew firsthand how hard it was to say good-bye to Lucas, never knowing the specifics of where he was going or how long he would be gone. Never knowing if he would make it back home.

  But Charlie also knew that Lucas loved his sister more than anything, and it would destroy him to see her breakdown over him leaving. He’d worry, and wherever Lucas was going, he didn’t need to worry about home.

  “I’m not going to cry.”

  Charlie glanced over and then back to the road. “It’s all right if you need to, though. I get it.”

  She shook her head, cleared her throat, and tucked her chin for a moment before focusing out the windshield again. “No. If he can be strong enough to go protect our country on whatever insanely dangerous mission they’ve assigned to him, then I can be strong enough to put on a tough-girl face and say good-bye to him without falling apart. It’s the least I can do for him. I wouldn’t want him to worry about me and then he—he—” She drew a sharp breath and clenched her fists.

  “Hey.” Without thinking, Charlie reached over and took her hand in his, squeezing tightly. “We don’t even know what this is yet. Don’t let yourself get upset. At least not yet.”

  She turned toward him for the first time. “Lucas called me five times. Then called you to come find me. At ten o’clock at night.”

  All right, she had him there. “It could be—”

  “He’s getting deployed, Charlie. You know it as well as I do.”

  They fell into silence as Charlie pulled down Lucas’s gravel driveway, every light in the house on, which was another bad sign. Lucas was a power hoarder. He hated to waste anything, so if he was this awake and active this late at night, then it must mean he was packing.

  Charlie was still holding Lila’s hand when they parked, but he released it as soon as Lucas stepped outside, a tinge of guilt working through his stomach. But he reminded himself that he was just comforting her, not making a move on her. Even if he’d felt like doing just that only minutes before at the bar. Damn, he needed to get his head on straight. They’d seen each other twice since she had gotten back, but those two occurrences had hit him like a freight train, all those old, pent-up feelings toward her resurfacing.

  Stepping out, Charlie tucked his hands into his jeans pockets, an old Rolling Stones T-shirt and flip flops completing his look, because while he wasn’t at the beach anymore, he’d never stop dressing the part.

  “Thank God,” Lucas said, starting toward them. He pulled Lila into a big hug. “Didn’t think I’d get to see you before I left.” He checked his watch, cringed, and then glanced back at his sister.

  “I knew it,” she said. “When do you leave?”

  Lucas took a step back and ran a hand over his buzzed head. “Ten minutes.”

  She nodded, though Charlie could tell she was holding in her emotions. “Any clues how long you’ll be gone or where you’re going?”

  The storm that had been threatening earlier boomed overhead again, tiny droplets of rain beginning to fall. The air smelled like earth and air and peacefulness, and yet as Charlie’s gaze landed on Lila and held, he didn’t feel peaceful. He felt pain.

  Cocking his head, Lucas reached out for her hand. “You know I can’t say.”

  She nodded again, but this time her bottom lip began to tremble.

  “Ah, Tiny, don’t cry. Please. You know I’m the toughest bastard out there. Ain’t nobody gonna hurt me.”

  Charlie cleared his throat. “Dude, you are not even close to the toughest bastard out there. That role’s been filled since we were six years old and your pansy ass refused to go into Old Richardson’s haunted house.”

  Lucas eyed him, a crooked grin easing the tension in his face. “I’m the pansy ass, huh? Clearly you don’t remember peeing your pants on the Spidartron at Six-Flags in fifth grade.”

  Lila laughed as she eyed Charlie. “He’s got you there. I’ll never forget us having to hit the water ride to hide your wet stain.” She laughed still louder, and Charlie and Lucas exchanged a knowing look, their plan to distract her working. They were always a good team when it came to Lila. Together teaching her to ride a bike. Together threatening boys who broke her heart. Together moving her into her college dorm.

  “Care if I talk to this asshole alone for a sec?” Lucas said to Lila.

  She glanced between them. “Um, sure. Plotting your world domination?”

  Charlie winked. “You know it.”

  Lila started on inside, and Lucas waited until the screen door closed behind her to turn on his best friend. His face was serious, more serious than normal.

  “Look, I need a favor.”

  “Anything,” Charlie said without hesitation.

  “Need you to take care of Lila.”

  Charlie’s eyes went wide and a smirk broke across his face. “What kind of care are we talking about here?”

  Lucas punched him in the chest, jokingly but the dude was a Green Beret, so Charlie felt that shit deep. “Damn perv. She’s my sister.”

  “Just making sure we were talking about the same thing is all.” He flashed Lucas a grin.

  “Nah, seriously though,” Lucas said. “She’s been through a lot. Not really wanting me to talk about it, so I won’t. But I’d feel better if I knew someone was here looking out for her. Can I count on you?”

  Charlie grinned again, and Lucas pointed at him. “Not like that. In fact, add that to the list—look after her and keep your hands to yourself. The last thing I need is to come back to a sister with a broken heart because my best friend couldn’t keep his dick in his pants.”

  “Hey, I take offense.” Charlie crossed his arms to further his point, though he couldn’t stop the nagging voice in his head that said Lucas was onto something here and likely had a right to put his friend in place.

  “Just look after her for me. She’s in a vulnerable state right now. I need to know she’s okay.”

  Charlie patted Lucas’s shoulder. “All joking aside, you know I’m here for her. I’d never let anything happen to her. You know that.”

  Lucas nodded. “I know. Which is why I pushed for her to move here. At least if I can’t be around her, you would be. I trust you more than anyone. More than a brother.”

  And just like that, Charlie knew he had no choice but to tuck the idea of Lila away. He wouldn’t risk breaking his best friend’s trust.

  “I’ve got your back.”

  Lucas eyed his watch again, and then back at the house. “Damn, I gotta go.”

  “We need you to be careful, okay? I know you will be. But Lila’s not the only one who worries about your sorry self.”

  They hugged as Lila stepped back outside. “Am I allowed out here again or am I breaking up the bro-fest?”

  “Damn, this is going to be painful. She’s as much a smartass as you.”

  “Worse,” Lucas said with a grin, and then Lila pushed him, before pulling him into a hug.

  “Be careful.”

  Lucas placed his bag into his Jeep, and then hugged each of them again.

  “Love you, little sister.”

  “Love you, big brother.”

  He and Charlie clasped hands and then hugged. “Be back when I can. You’ll lock up for me?” he asked Lila, who nodded yes. They waved as he got into his truck and shut the door, and then he drove away. Every time this happened, Charlie wondered if it would be the last time he would see him, and every time he’d curse himself for thinking it. Today was no different.

  “He asked you to look after me, didn’t he?” She wiped away a stray tear, then another.

  “Yeah, but I told him he should be asking you to look a
fter me. You, Tiny Girl, can take care of yourself.” She laughed, but it soon turned into a sob, and Charlie pulled her to him, holding her close to his chest.

  “What if he doesn’t—?”

  “Shh.” Charlie ran his hands over her hair and held her tighter. “Don’t even think it. He’s coming home. And we’ll be here, ready to celebrate with him when he gets here.”

  She pulled away. “You really think so?”

  Charlie swiped his thumb under each of her eyes to wipe away her tears. “I know it. No one’s tougher than Lucas. Couldn’t tell him that, ego and all. But I would bet my life on it. He’s coming home.”

  She nuzzled into his chest again, and Charlie placed his chin on top of her head. He would keep his word to protect Lila, at all costs. Now if he could keep his other agreement and keep his hands and feelings to himself.

  * * *

  Lila drew a breath, allowing Charlie’s all-man, slightly lemony, 100 percent sexy scent flood her senses until, little by little, she felt better. She inhaled again, eager for more, when Charlie cleared his throat and she glanced up at him to find a crooked grin staring back at her.

  “Are you smelling me?” he asked, his tone light.

  She recoiled. “No.”

  “Kind of looked like you were. The question is whether you were smelling me in a good way or a bad way, but it looked like you were a second away from licking me, which hints at good.”

  Lila pushed him back and shook her head. “Always Mr. Arrogant.”

  “Always Ms. Denial.”

  They squared off, but both were smiling, and she shook her head again. “You were always good at that, weren’t you?”

  “What?”

  This time when she glanced back up at him, it was with tenderness in her eyes. “Making me feel better. No matter what it was, you could say something, distract me, and suddenly I forgot why I was upset in the first place.”

  Charlie took a step toward her. “Remember that time you tried out for cheerleading? But you were the most uncoordinated person imaginable?” Then he put his hands in the air and started screaming, “Gooo Tigers! T-I-G-E-R-S Tigers!” Lila swiped at him, but he ducked out of reach, laughing. “And then you twisted your ankle trying to do one of those cart-around things.”

  “They’re called cartwheels, jerk.”

  “And you called me to come get you, because Lucas was retaking a test, and couldn’t take you to the hospital, because you said you’d broken it. I carried you to my truck and took you home and iced you back to health. Come to think of it, I’m the one that should have been the doctor.”

  Lila rolled her eyes. “You just wanted to stroke my leg and cop a feel. I know your kind.”

  He tucked her hair behind her ear. “Oh, yeah, and what kind is that?” He glanced down at her, and then all of a sudden he straightened and took a giant step back, his eyes anywhere but on her. “Anyway, ready to get back?”

  What just happened?

  Lila tried to get his attention, but she could tell that he’d checked out, disappeared back inside that head of his. Which was always one of her problems—she wanted him, but he never let her in, never even considered her as a possibility. “Actually, can you just take me to my car? I don’t really feel like hanging out anymore.”

  He finally met her questioning gaze. “Are you all right? Because I can stay with you if you need? You know, on the couch or whatever.” He blew out a breath and ran a hand through his hair. If Lila didn’t know any better, she’d guess he was nervous. But that was stupid.

  “That’s okay. I’m turning in early. Plus, Annie is there. Did you know I was living at Annie’s? Over the detached garage, and she likes to walk in on me in the most inopportune times imaginable. Which could be awkward if we . . .” What did I just say! “And did you know she sleeps with her .22? She told me when I moved in never to walk into the main house unannounced or I’d risk getting shot!” And now she was rambling—awesome.

  But the idea of Charlie at her place—well, Annie’s place, but her for-now place—and him acting all nervous about it made her heart perk up and that annoying voice in the back of her head ask the question: Maybe?

  Charlie was staring at her now, a full-on, mega-watt smile spread across his face. “First off, yes, I knew Annie slept with her .22. Got the thing when a raccoon snuck into her garage—the attached one, not the detached you’re living over. But no, I didn’t know you were living there. And secondly—” The grin slanted, his eyes flashing with flirtation. “What exactly did you think we’d be doing that would make it awkward if Annie walked in?” His eyebrows lifted as he waited for the answer, and Lila contemplated crawling into the ditch by the road and hiding until Charlie left. But clearly he was enjoying this too much to let it go. “Is my tiny girl having less than tiny thoughts?”

  Lila shook her head and started for the truck, then remembered she had to lock up Lucas’s place and shut out the lights, pivoted and marched to the front porch. “What does that even mean? And no, Mr. Arrogant. Not every thought every woman has is about you. Certainly not mine.” Good God, she needed to avoid Charlie before her nose started growing from all these lies.

  He was right behind her, his warmth radiating against her back as he reached around her for the door to open it. “I’m not saying all women. All right, maybe all women. But I’m specifically talking about you.” And then they stepped inside, and it was like someone flipped a switch in Charlie, and his cocky smile turned to a frown.

  “What are you . . . ?” Lila followed his stare to the shelves framing the widescreen across from them, and a photo of the two of them—Charlie and Lucas—in high school, arms draped over each other’s shoulders, more brothers than friends, sat dead center on the right-hand shelf. “You okay?”

  “What? Oh—yeah. Fine.” He shook his head and once again ran his hands through his hair, an obvious nervous tic, and Lila found herself wondering what was going through his mind. “Look, just remembered that I have some place to be.”

  “At ten thirty? On a school night?” she teased, but when Charlie didn’t return her laugh, she knew something had gotten to him. Maybe he was as worried about Lucas as she was and being here, in Lucas’s house, made it worse. She didn’t know. “I’ll just lock up if you want to wait in the truck.”

  “Why don’t I go turn the water off?” he asked.

  “All right.” She turned around so she wouldn’t have to see the awkward expression on Charlie’s face anymore. Already she felt uneasy around him, but now he was darting from the carefree, flirty Charlie she knew to the uncomfortable, awkward man she’d just witnessed too quickly for her to keep up. Writing it off, Lila went to work shutting off the lights, checking that the air conditioner was on, but set to eighty, and then locking the front door.

  The night air had turned chilly, and the rain that had teased them earlier was coming down now in sheets. Lila took off running for the truck and slipped inside, her clothes wet and her hair hanging around her face in shiny tendrils.

  “Wow, cold.” She grinned as she peered over at Charlie, but he was staring down, refusing to look at her. He shook his head, muttered something, and then put the truck in drive.

  Chapter Five

  Lila woke at six the next morning, the remnants of a dream still circling around her. Charlie, a look, everything freezing around them. Never had Lila considered that she would still have such strong feelings for him, but the moment she saw him it was like they all came rushing back, and so far, being around him had only amplified her opinion of him.

  Young Charlie was daring, funny, always there for those he cared about, but adult Charlie? He was something else entirely. First, his care for his dog; then coming to Maguire’s to get her; then holding her while she cried after Lucas left. It was as though he’d changed in the best possible ways. Everything about him from before was still there, just below the surface, but as a man, he was—

  She had just walked out of her bedroom to grab coffee before work, when s
he stopped short in the opening to the hallway, her eyes wide.

  “Um, Annie?”

  Annie lowered her newspaper and peered at Lila. “Honey, I thought you’d never wake up. I brought you some muffins.” She pushed a plate down the kitchen counter without looking, and Lila jumped to grab it before it crashed to the ground. “And your mama called from Florida. I told her you were fine, that you’d call her later.”

  “Thank you?” Lila glanced around the kitchen, then the family room. It wasn’t big by any scope of the imagination, but being able to see everything was one of the reasons Lila chose it. A family room, a kitchen, a bedroom, and a bathroom. That was it. Which meant there weren’t very many places to hide.

  Since her parents now lived in Florida, they wanted her to move in with Lucas, but Lila insisted that she needed her own place—or some semblance of her own place.

  “Marty isn’t here with you again, is he?”

  Annie’s brow furrowed. “Like I’d talk to that man again after what he did.”

  Uh-oh. “What did he do?” Lila turned on her Keurig and faced Annie as it heated up.

  “I don’t want to talk about it. And I don’t know why you bother with those things. You know French press coffeemakers produce the best coffee.”

  Um, yeah, if you like your coffee on the ridiculous side of strong. But Lila knew better than to argue with Annie over anything related to anything inside the kitchen. Instead, she attempted to change the subject. “How are things at the bakery? I hear you’re—”

  Annie slammed down her paper and crossed her arms, and Lila’s eyebrows went to her hairline. She wondered if something bad had happened at AJ&P or between her and Patty. It wouldn’t be the first time. Years ago, Annie and Patty were best friends and had a falling out. Annie stopped speaking to Patty, and Patty moved to Triple Run and opened her own bakery there. Well, with the rivalry between the two towns that was like slapping Annie in the face. For years the women didn’t speak without yelling, until finally something happened—though Lila didn’t know what—and they made up, all that anger forgotten.