by Sydney Logan
And then the most amazing thing happens.
She hugs me.
It’s late in the afternoon when we finally get packed and head downstairs. We’d only planned to stay a few days, but I can tell Brandon’s disappointed to be going home so soon. He didn’t get to see much of his nieces, and he never got the chance to show me his hometown.
I promised we’d come back, right after graduation.
This afternoon, Brandon added extra locks to the doors while Christian arranged for a nurse’s aide to be there day and night. It will be expensive, but hopefully it’ll take some stress off Christian so that she can have a life of her own and keep Mr. Walker safe and comfortable at the same time.
Saying goodbye to Mr. Walker was hard. Maybe it was because I never had a dad of my own, or maybe it was because I was still emotional from what happened at the pond, but when he hugged me, I cried like a baby. This made him nervous until I promised they were happy tears.
And they were. Nothing but happy.
While Brandon and Christian make some final arrangements in the kitchen, I walk around the living room, looking at the pictures on the wall. I stop when I come across a photo of Mr. Walker in his uniform, with an American flag in the background.
It looks so much like the picture of my dad.
Reaching down into my shirt, I pull out the ball chain and my dad’s tags. I let the silver slide through my fingers as I think about the last few days.
I’ve spent my life hating the military. In my mind, it had stripped me of the privilege of ever knowing my father. But really, I was angry at the wrong thing, and for the wrong reasons. My dad made a choice, and if his picture is any indication, he was proud of that choice. Just like this picture of Brandon’s father. He looks just as proud in this old eight-by-ten as he does in the faded newspaper clipping.
Brandon made his choice, too.
And just like my mother, I have my own choice to make.
I place a kiss on the silver tags and let them fall against my chest.
Suddenly, a set of strong arms wrap around me.
“Hey, sweetheart. Are you ready?”
I twist around and smile into the eyes of my soldier.
My soldier.
And that’s when I realize I have no choice at all.
“I’m ready.”
CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Brandon
April arrives, and with it, Steph and I return to our like-two-ships-passing-in-the-night routine. I still have a job, thanks to Ms. Linda having sympathy for my lovesick ass, so I’ve been picking up extra shifts when I can. That, combined with her job and our classes, keeps us apart more than we’re together. However, we’ve continued waking up in each other’s arms every morning, which makes the hours apart somewhat bearable but still ridiculously miserable.
I just want to touch her all the time. Is that so wrong?
I ask Xavier that exact question at the coffee shop one sunny afternoon. He’s stopped by to pick up a muffin for Tessa, who has the flu, which explains why she’s buying muffins instead of baking them. I take a break and follow him over to a booth.
“Umm, I sort of assumed you two were already . . . touching.”
“Well, we touch, of course. You know what I mean.”
“But you want to touch more?”
“I want to touch a lot more.”
He smirks.
“But there’s an issue.”
“She loves you. You love her. There is no issue.”
“Yes, there is. After graduation, I’ll get a short leave before I’m off to Georgia for twelve weeks. I will not sleep with her and then leave her for three months. I love her too much to do that to her. Or to me.”
“Can’t she go to Georgia with you?”
“No. I have to live in the barracks. Besides, she’s going to be looking for a teaching job. I don’t expect her to put her life on hold for me, especially when we don’t know where my duty station will be until near the end of training.”
Xavier nods. “Have you two talked about what you’ll do? I mean, is she going with you?”
“We . . . haven’t really talked about that.”
“Then you’re right. You do have an issue.”
“Thanks a lot, Xavier.”
He chuckles and shakes his head. “Listen, man, if this were any other girl, I’d say go for it and don’t worry about the consequences. But this is Steph, and you love her, so the two of you need to have a serious conversation about the future. You do see her in your future, don’t you?”
“I see her in mine, yeah.”
“But?”
“I don’t know if she sees me in hers.”
“Don’t you think it’s time to find out?”
Thanks to a late night study group, it’s after eleven by the time Steph finally makes it home. She laughs when she sees me sitting on the couch with Bangle in my lap.
“Well, this is a surprise.”
“The fact that I’m actually awake? Or that your cat is being friendly to me?”
“Both, to be honest.”
Steph walks toward me, and I all but toss her cat aside so she can climb into my lap. Her chest presses against mine, and I let my fingers slide along her back as we hold each other. This position is so, so dangerous, but that doesn’t stop me from pulling her tighter against me and kissing her until we’re out of breath.
She opens her eyes. “Wow. Hi.”
“Hey.”
“Something on your mind, Mr. Walker?”
“You.”
“Me?”
“Always you.”
This makes her smile.
“We need to talk, Steph.”
Her face falls.
“It’s not bad, I promise.”
She doesn’t look convinced, so I kiss the tip of her nose.
“I promise.”
“Sounds serious. Should I get out of your lap?”
No.
“Probably,” I mutter.
Steph laughs and slides onto the couch.
“We need to have a serious conversation about the future,” I tell her.
“Okay . . .”
“I want you in mine.”
“You do?”
I roll my eyes. “This can’t possibly be news to you.”
“It’s still nice to hear.”
“Yeah.”
I swallow nervously.
“Brandon?”
“Yeah?”
“I want you in my future, too.”
I can’t hide my stupid grin.
“We probably do need to talk about it, though,” she says. “The logistics and all that.”
“Okay, let’s talk about it.”
We spend the next few minutes discussing AIT and how she can’t go with me.
“But I can go with you after AIT?”
“Depending on my duty station, yes. We could live in the same town.”
“But we couldn’t live together?”
“No. Single soldiers have to live on post until they become an E6.”
“How long does that take?”
“Up to eight years, and I don’t plan on being in the service that long.”
She laughs, and then the room grows deathly quiet.
“Wait, you said single soldiers.”
“Right.”
I can hear the wheels grinding. They’re loud. Or maybe that’s my heartbeat. Hard to tell.
“So if we were married . . .”
I take a deep breath. “If we were married, we could live on or off base. Together.”
“If we’re married.”
“Yes.”
Steph reaches for my hand and slides her fingers along mine.
“Brandon, are you proposing?”
Am I? That really wasn’t my intention. Not tonight, anyway.
But I could.
And I would.
But would she want me to?
I love her. It’s never been a question. We’re young, but we’re als
o old enough to know what we want out of life. We’re both driven and have goals we want to accomplish. Family is important to us, and it’s easy to imagine having one with Steph someday.
But not today. Even I know we aren’t ready for that.
“I love you, Steph.”
“I love you, too.”
“But I don’t think we’re ready. Not yet.”
Her shoulders visibly relax. “Neither do I.”
I grin. I know my girl so well.
She wraps her arms around my neck. “There’s just so much we don’t know, Brandon. Where you’ll be. Where I’ll be. What we’ll be doing.”
“I know. And you want to teach. You’ve worked way too hard to give that up, and I’d never ask you to.”
“But if I find a teaching job in Indiana, while you’re in Georgia . . .”
Steph’s looking at me with her big brown eyes, looking for answers I just don’t have. If she finds a teaching job while I’m at AIT, she will be tied to that particular school—and that particular town—for the school year. I have no idea where I’ll be stationed after training is complete. It would be unfair and selfish of me to ask her to wait . . . to just wait and see where I end up and then apply to schools in the area. Even if I did ask, and she agreed, there would be no guarantee she could even find a job there.
We have to be smart. We’ve worked too hard not to be.
“Steph, what was your plan for after graduation?”
She sighs. “Well, I planned to apply for teaching licenses in Indiana, Illinois, and Kentucky. I’ll be certified in all three states. I just want to stay as close to Mom as possible.”
“I understand. And I agree. I think you should do exactly what you planned.”
“But what if . . .”
Her voice trails off, but she doesn’t have to finish the thought. I know exactly what she’s going to say.
“Steph, I won’t ask you to wait.”
“Maybe I want to wait. Once we know where you’ll be on a permanent basis—”
I shake my head. “After AIT, I could be anywhere, and maybe I’ll be stationed in some places you don’t need to be. Or can’t be.”
“Or you could be stationed close by. You’re assuming the worst, Brandon.”
“No, I’m preparing for the worst. I can’t control any of it, but I have to be ready to live with whatever happens. That’s the choice I made, Steph, and I’m sorry my choice affects us. I’m sorry it affects you.”
With a quiet sigh, Steph crawls back into my lap. She places a soft kiss against the corners of my mouth.
“I’m not sorry, Brandon.”
“You’re not?”
She shakes her head. “Nope. I love you, and I’ve decided we’re going to be okay, no matter what.”
“You’ve decided, huh?”
“That’s right.”
“How can you be so sure?”
“Because of something your dad and sister said.”
“What did they say?”
“Christian said that for every amazing thing that happens to us, there are other crappy things just waiting to knock the smiles off our faces. But we keep smiling. We soldier on.”
I can’t deny I’m impressed with my sister’s logic.
“And what did my dad say?”
“He said you had promised to take care of me, and that morning at the pond, I promised him I would take care of you. That’s why I know we’re going to be okay. Both of us are too stubborn not to keep our promises.”
“But what about the Army? Are you sure you can handle the fact that I’m a soldier?”
“I can. I don’t have a choice.”
“You always have a choice, Steph.”
Steph sighs softly before placing a soft kiss below my ear.
“That’s the thing, Brandon. I don’t have a choice at all. I love you. You love me. The only choice we have is to make it work.”
I bury my hands in her hair and pull her face to mine. Our hands roam as we kiss, causing shivers to radiate up my spine. Steph breaks the kiss to find the hem of my shirt. She lifts it over my head and tosses it aside.
Then she surprises me by placing her hand over my heart.
“No matter where you are, I will be right here.”
She lowers her head and places a kiss there.
“But I’m selfish, Steph. I want you in my arms, too. In my bed. In my life. Every single day.”
“We’ll make it work. We will figure it out.”
I kiss her forehead.
“There’s . . . something else we need to discuss.”
“What’s that?”
“Our sleeping arrangements.”
“Are you unhappy with your accommodations, Mr. Walker?”
“No, I love them, and that’s why we need to talk about it.”
With a sigh, Steph slides onto the couch once again. Probably wise. It might be difficult to have a serious conversation about sex with her sitting in my lap.
“We’re tempting fate,” Steph says. “I know that. Every morning, when we wake up together and do . . . the things we do, I know it’s just a matter of time before I’ll want more. And you’ll want more.”
“We’re twenty-two years old and in love. I’m pretty sure we already want more.”
She smirks, and I see a faint blush creep across her cheeks.
Beautiful.
“I have a confession,” she says softly. “You’ll be my first.”
I can’t say I’m shocked, but I am a little surprised. And it makes me thankful that we’ve waited. Steph doesn’t ask, so I don’t tell her I haven’t exactly been a saint when it comes to girls. I dated a lot in high school, but once I got to college, most girls just wanted to hook-up because of my uniform. That was fun during my first two years of school, but once I became serious about ROTC, I had weekend volunteer missions and morning training sessions, all of which left very little time for girls.
Steph mistakes my silence, and her face falls.
“You’re disappointed,” she whispers.
“What? No! I’m glad, actually. And a little amazed.”
Steph shrugs. “There’s nothing amazing about it. I’ve just never dated much. School was always my focus. Love didn’t interest me. Random hook-ups definitely didn’t interest me, and in college, that’s what most guys want.”
“Not this guy. He just wants you.”
She smiles. “I know. That’s another reason why I love him. I also think that’s why we should wait to have sex. I just think . . . your leaving is going to be hard enough. Until you’re settled—”
“Until we’re settled.”
She nods. “Until we’re settled, I just think we should wait. No matter how much I really don’t want to.”
“I don’t want to, either, but I think you’re right.” I take her hand and gently lace her fingers with mine. “So, what about that tempting fate thing? Do you want me to sleep in my room from now on?”
“No. Do you want to?
“Not really.”
With a sweet smile, Steph stands up and pulls me by the hand, leading me down the hallway. We reach her bedroom, and she disappears into the bathroom while I change out of my clothes. After turning off the light, I set the alarm on my phone and climb under the covers. I try to stay awake while she showers, but I must doze off because, suddenly, I’m awakened by the scent of peaches and cream.
“Sleepy head,” she whispers against my ear.
I sigh contently as she snuggles into my arms.
“Brandon?”
“Yeah?”
“Speaking of temptation,” she says softly, “I’m glad you didn’t propose tonight. I would have been tempted to say yes.”
Pulling her close, I bury my nose in her hair.
“I would have wanted you to,” I whisper.
We hold each other a little tighter before we both drift off to sleep.
CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE
Stephanie
The next morning, I head o
ver to Tessa’s apartment, armed with orange juice and blueberry muffins from the coffee shop. Finding out from my boyfriend that Tessa has the flu just proves I’ve seriously neglected my best friend for far too long.
It takes four knocks, but Tessa finally opens the door. When she does, I’m struck by how green she looks.
“Wow, you really look terrible.”
She sniffles softly. “Did you come over here just to tell me I look like crap? Because trust me, I know.”
Smiling apologetically, I dangle the box of muffins in her face. Unfortunately, this causes her eyes to grow wide and sends her running for the bathroom.
Not the effect I was hoping for.
I let myself in and close the door behind me. Xavier’s nowhere to be found, so I put the muffins on the table and the juice in the fridge before heading toward her bathroom.
I wait until I hear the flush before knocking on the door.
“You okay in there?”
“No.”
“What can I do?”
“You can get in here.”
I’m not entirely sure I want to, but she’s my best friend, so I slowly open the door. When I peek inside, I find her sitting on the edge of her tub. Her head is bowed as she quietly sobs.
“Tessa?”
She looks up with red-rimmed eyes.
“Tessa, what is it?”
She wipes her eyes and stands up. With a heavy sigh, she opens the drawer under the sink before sitting back down on the tub.
I look down. Five pregnancy tests are lined up in a neat little row.
“Are those . . . what I think they are?”
“Yes.”
“Have they been used?”
She nods.
“By you?”
“No, Steph, by Xavier. I must say, his aim has been a little off, but—”
“Okay! I’m sorry. It was a stupid question.” I sit down, wrapping my arm around her. “You don’t have the flu, do you?”
Tessa shakes her head. “I have thrown up every morning for the past week. I was so sure it was the flu, but then I looked at a calendar . . .”
“Oh, Tessa.”
This makes her cry harder.
“I just don’t understand how it happened, Steph! I mean, I know everybody says that, but I really don’t get it. I’m on the pill. Xavier always uses protection. We’ve always, always been so careful and responsible.”
