Sweet Tea and Jesus Shoes

by Various

  Every Southerner at the table froze—some of them holding serving spoons suspended halfway between bowl and plate. No? Can’t abide the syrupy stuff? You people?

  I swiveled to look at Ian, certain he’d disagree and ask for sweet tea even if he hated sweet tea. He was, after all, the man I was going to marry.

  Instead he hopped up from the table.

  “Sure.”

  In the end, a simple beverage became the litmus test of our relationship. Sweet tea—the dividing line between us and them. I should have known it all along.

  “Wait, boy.” Aunt Claree laid her napkin by her plate and reached for their glasses. “The water might be pumped into the house, but it’s still well water. You won’t like it either unless we dress it up. So why don’t I get the water? You run out front and grab a couple of sprigs of mint.”

  Claree’s eyes met mine. The McClarens might have insulted the South in general, but they’d insulted Aunt Claree’s tea in particular. Hell hath no fury like Aunt Claree in a snit.

  I said nothing.

  And while I know that remaining silent wasn’t the most Christian thing to do, I didn’t seriously entertain the idea of stopping Ian. What did it matter if he served his mother water flavored with mint Leroy christened on a regular basis?

  It wasn’t like I was going to marry the man.

  Not anymore.

  DINNER ON THE GROUNDS

  (Recipe Section follows)

  All Human history attests

  That happiness for man—that hungry sinner!

  Since Eve ate apples, much depends on dinner.

  —Lord Byron,

  Don Juan

  Contents

  Sweet Tea

  Sunday Ambrosia

  Grandpapa’s Cheese Straws

  Vacation Bible School Sandwiches

  Cow Patties

  Mama’s Fried Chicken

  Steeplechase Potato Salad

  Rat-tat-tooee, Southern Style

  Mamaside Broccoli Casserole

  One-Eyed Cookies

  Missionary Society Strawberry Shortcake

  Mama’s Pecan Pie

  Ice Box Fruitcake

  Grandma Hilda’s Coconut Cake

  Frosting

  Banana Pudding

  Six Week Fruitcake

  Chocolate Nut Pound Cake

  Sweet Tea

  Debra Dixon

  —Sweet Tea

  Fill metal tea ball (acorn shaped holder full of holes with chain on top) with loose tea. Do not pack. (You will learn what strength you like.)

  In a small pan, put on 2 and 1/2 cups of water and bring to a boil.

  Drop tea ball into boiling water, turn off heat, cover with saucer or plate and allow to steep for 15-20 minutes.

  Drain tea ball over pan, then pour up hot tea into a large pitcher and add sugar to your taste (see below). Stir until dissolved.

  Add 5 and 1/2 cups cold water and allow tea to cool completely before serving.

  Fill glass with ice (ice always goes in glass first), pour and serve with a slice of lemon or a sprig of fresh mint.

  Sugar: 1 and 1/2 cups for “treacly” really southern tea

  1 cup for medium sweet

  Tip: Place a metal spoon in the glass before pouring the hot tea over the ice.

  This will keep the glass from cracking.

  Sunday Ambrosia

  Donna Ball

  —Up Jumps the Devil

  Ingredients:

  1 3-oz. box lime gelatin

  1 3-oz. box lemon gelatin

  1 8-oz package cream cheese, softened

  1 and 1/2 cups mayonnaise

  2 cups miniature marshmallows

  2 small cans crushed pineapple

  1 cup chopped pecans

  1 cup cherries, chopped

  Mix lime and lemon gelatin together and dissolve in 1 cup boiling water. When gelatin is dissolved, add 2 cups cold water and place in refrigerator until semi-firm. Do not allow to jell completely.

  In a large bowl, cream cheese and mayonnaise with an electric mixer until no lumps remain. Blend in semi-firm gelatin mixture. Fold in marshmallows, pineapple, pecans and cherries. Return mixture to refrigerator and allow to set for at least 3 hours. Great for family reunions!

  Note: If you mix in the cherries before the gelatin is set, the mixture will turn brown. You can remedy this by adding a few drops of green food coloring.

  Grandpapa’s Cheese Straws

  Deborah Smith

  —Grandpapa’s Garden

  Ingredients:

  1 and 1/2 cups sifted all purpose flour

  1 lb. sharp grated cheddar cheese

  1 stick margarine

  3/4 tablespoon salt

  3/4 teaspoon red pepper

  1 teaspoon baking powder

  Let margarine get very soft. Grate cheese and let it soften, also. Sift dry ingredients together. Start mixing margarine, cheese, and dry ingredients together until well mixed. Put half mixture in cookie press, making sure that no air is in the press by punching mixture with a knife. Squeeze out rows of the dough on a counter and cut into two-inch-long pieces. Bake at 350 degrees on ungreased cookie sheet until lightly browned on bottom. Let cool on wax paper.

  If stored in an airtight cookie tin, the cheese straws will keep for weeks and the pepper will get hotter!

  Vacation Bible School Sandwiches

  Sandra Chastain

  —The Jesus Shoes

  Ingredients:

  1 can potted meat

  1 boiled egg, chopped

  1 tablespoon chopped pickles

  1 and 1/2 tablespoons mayonnaise

  salt to taste

  sliced white loaf bread

  Mix first four ingredients. Spread to desired thickness on one slice of bread and fold in half.

  Cow Patties (Hamburgers)

  Virginia Ellis

  —Keeper of the Stick

  Ingredients:

  1 and 1/2 lbs of lean ground beef

  1 medium onion

  1/4 cup of favorite barbeque sauce

  Splash of hot sauce

  Garlic salt and pepper to taste

  Break up hamburger meat into a bowl. Chop onion small—adjust amount to taste—and add to meat. Add barbeque sauce, hot sauce, garlic salt and pepper. Mush around with hands until thoroughly mixed. Make 5-7 patties and cook on hot grill. (Also may be cooked in a frying pan on the stove but it smokes up the house.) Remember, ground beef needs to be cooked at least medium done or the cows might bite you back.

  Mama’s Fried Chicken

  Debra Dixon

  —Sweet Tea

  Ingredients:

  One whole chicken, cut up for frying

  1 cup flour

  1 cup milk

  2 eggs

  1 teaspoon salt

  1/2 teaspoon black pepper

  1 teaspoon lemon/pepper seasoning

  1 teaspoon garlic powder

  1/2 teaspoon oregano

  1/4 teaspoon sage

  Vegetable Oil

  Mix all dry ingredients until well blended. Add the eggs to milk and beat with a wire whisk. In a large skillet, add enough vegetable oil to be about 1 1/2 inches deep. Heat to 375 degrees. Maintaining the temperature is very important...remember that you may have to increase the heat if you add a lot of chicken at one time, then turn it back down when the temperature is right. Also, the larger pieces obviously have to be cooked longer.

  Dip the chicken pieces in the milk/egg batter, then dredge in the flour mixture. Repeat, then put the pieces in the skillet. Arrange the pieces so that they don’t stick together while cooking. Cook until golden brown on one side, then turn and finish cooking.

  Steeplechase Potato Salad

  Deborah Smith

  —Flying on Fried Wings

  Ingredients:

  4 baking potatoes, cooked, chilled, and chopped into small cubes

  2 boiled eggs, finely chopped

  3 sticks celery, chopped

 
; 2 large dill pickles, minced

  1/2 cup finely chopped bell pepper

  3/4 cup finely chopped onion

  Mix all ingredients with mayonnaise, mustard, salt, and pepper to taste.

  Rat-tat-tooee, Southern Style

  Virginia Ellis

  —No More Mickey Mouse

  Ingredients (No rats required):

  l good-size onion

  2 medium zucchini squash

  5 to 7 fresh okra pods

  1 regular can of whole or diced tomatoes

  1/2 teaspoon oregano flakes

  Garlic salt to taste

  Dash of favorite hot sauce

  Pour enough water in a medium sauce pan to reach ½ inch in depth. Cut onion into one-inch chunks and drop into simmering water. Cut zucchini into 3/4-inch wheels, cut wheels in half again and add to water. Cut okra into one-inch wheels before adding to the pot. Pour in can of tomatoes, add seasonings and stir. Simmer for 30-40 minutes. (Eggplant may be used instead of okra.)

  Mamaside Broccoli Casserole

  Deborah Smith

  —Nola’s Ashes

  Ingredients:

  1 package chopped frozen broccoli (thawed)

  1 and 1/3 cups of instant rice

  1 can cream of mushroom soup

  1/2 cup chopped onions

  1/2 cup chopped celery

  1 stick butter

  1 8-ounce jar cheese spread

  Bread Crumbs

  Heat broccoli in 1/2 cup water and do not drain.

  Cook and set aside rice.

  Saute onions and celery in stick of butter.

  Mix cheese spread and soup; Heat and stir until well-mixed.

  Combine all ingredients in a greased casserole baking dish.

  Dot top of mixture with butter and bread crumbs.

  Bake at 350 degrees 45 minutes or until bubbly.

  One-Eyed Cookies

  Virginia Ellis

  —Cookie the One-Eyed Horse

  Ingredients:

  2/3 cup shortening

  2 teaspoons baking powder

  1 cup sugar

  1/3 cup whole milk

  2 eggs

  1/2 teaspoon salt

  3 cups all-purpose flour

  1/2 teaspoon vanilla

  Assorted round decorations—M&M candies, unroasted hazel nuts or almonds, a dollop of jelly before baking, icing after, etc.

  Mix shortening and sugar together until completely blended. Beat eggs and add to shortening mixture. Sift together the flour, baking powder and salt and add to mix alternating with milk. When thoroughly blended, roll out on floured board and cut circles with biscuit cutter or the lid of a medium-sized jar. Place chosen decoration in the center of each cookie forming an eye. Sprinkle with sugar and bake at 350-375 degrees for 10-13 minutes.

  Cookie would have loved these.

  Missionary Society Strawberry Shortcake

  Sandra Chastain

  —Bigdaddy’s Out House

  Prepare a regular yellow layer cake recipe (Cake mix may be used, although the Missionary Society would frown upon it.)

  Wash, remove leaves and stems from 1 quart strawberries. Cover the strawberries with sugar (about a cup, more or less) and set in the refrigerator until sugar melts and juice forms.

  Whip one cup heavy whipping cream with 1/4 cup sugar and 1 teaspoon vanilla until stiff peaks form. Or you may use artificial whipped topping (but don’t tell the ladies of the Missionary Society).

  To assemble, cut layer cake into squares. Place each square on a saucer. Top with berries and juice. Place a dollop of whipped cream on each on. Garnish with a whole strawberry.

  Mama’s Pecan Pie

  Nancy Knight

  —A Little Squirrelly

  Ingredients:

  2 cups pecan halves and pieces (mostly halves)

  1 and 1/2 cups dark corn syrup

  1 cup sugar

  5 tablespoons butter, melted

  4 eggs

  1/8 teaspoon of salt

  Preheat oven to 350.

  Combine eggs and sugar. Beat well. Add syrup, melted butter, and salt. Place one cup of pecan halves and pieces into uncooked pie crust. Pour syrup mixture over pecans and bake 45 minutes to one hour. Pecans should rise to top and brown.

  Ice Box Fruitcake (Not a Casserole)

  Sandra Chastain

  —The Reunion

  Ingredients:

  1 box Graham Cracker Crumbs

  1 bag miniature marshmallows

  1 lb. raisins or dates

  1 can sweetened condensed milk

  1 cup chopped pecans.

  Line a 9 x 13-in. pan with waxed paper, or spray with cooking oil.

  Mix cracker crumbs, raisins or dates, nuts and sweetened condensed milk. Melt the marshmallows in a double boiler and add to the mixture. Pack into the pan and let sit in the ice box/refrigerator for several hours.

  Grandma Hilda’s Coconut Cake

  Donna Ball

  —Grandma Tells a Tale

  Ingredients:

  1 fresh coconut

  6 eggs whites

  4 teaspoons baking powder

  1 and 1/2 cups sugar

  2 teaspoons vanilla extract

  3/4 cup butter, softened (no substitutes)

  3 cups flour

  Preheat oven to 350 degrees. Grease and flour 3 eight- inch pans.

  To prepare coconut: Drill a hole in one of the “eyes” of the coconut. Drain out the coconut milk into a bowl. Refrigerate coconut milk. Use a hammer (be careful!) to split the coconut. Carefully slice out the white coconut meat and grate one cup. Reserve.

  To prepare cake: With electric mixer on high, cream butter, vanilla and sugar until light and fluffy. Add the unbeaten egg whites and mix well. Measure 2/3 cup cold coconut milk (add water to make 2/3 cup if necessary) and add alternately with flour, beating well after each addition. Sift in baking powder and stir quickly.

  Divide mixture between 3 greased and floured cake pans. Cook on top rack of 350 degree oven 25-30 minutes or until wooden pick inserted in center comes out clean. Cool 10 minutes on a wire rack, turn out layers and cool completely before frosting.

  Frosting

  (Grandma Hilda’s Coconut Cake)

  Ingredients:

  2 egg whites

  2 tablespoons white corn syrup

  1/2 cup water

  1 teaspoon vinegar

  1 cup sugar

  1/2 teaspoon vanilla

  2 cups fresh grated coconut

  Combine water, sugar, vinegar and syrup and boil without stirring until a long thread spins from a spoon that is dipped into the mixture and then quickly lifted out. Meanwhile, beat egg whites until stiff.

  When syrup is ready, pour it slowly over the beaten egg whites while continuing to beat on low with an electric mixer. Beat on medium high until cool and stiff (5-10 minutes). Fold in one cup grated coconut.

  Put cake together with frosting between layers, and frost the outside. Press the remaining one cup of coconut into the frosting and decorate with maraschino cherries. Refrigerate, covered with cake dome, until time to serve.

  This cake is tricky for the beginning cook, but worth it!

  Banana Pudding

  Debra Dixon

  —From Whence We Came

  Ingredients:

  8 medium ripe bananas, sliced

  1 box vanilla wafers

  4 cups whole milk

  1 can sweetened condensed milk

  4 medium eggs

  1 cup sugar

  1 and 1/2 tablespoons flour

  1 and 1/2 teaspoons vanilla extract

  Whipped cream

  Blend eggs, sugar, and flour with an electric mixer on low. Increase speed to medium and beat until smooth. Add whole milk, sweetened condensed milk & vanilla extract, beat until just blended. Pour into a sauce pan and warm over medium heat, stirring constantly, until mixture thickens (5-7 minutes).

  In a large glass bowl, layer vanilla wafers, banana slices, and custard
. Repeat until all the custard and banana slices are used. Top with vanilla wafers. Serve chilled. Top with whipped cream.

  Six Week Fruitcake

  Donna Ball

  —Fingerprints

  Ingredients:

  1 lb. flour

  1 lb. sugar

  1 lb. butter

  12 eggs

  1 cup molasses

  3 tablespoons baking soda dissolved in 1 tablespoon water

  1 cup grape juice or black coffee

  2 tablespoons cinnamon

  3 tablespoons allspice