Right Here Waiting for You

by Pugh, Rebecca

  Chapter Twenty-One

  Greg had emailed. Why he didn’t just send her text messages, Magda would never know, but he’d always been the type of man to do things the long way around. Like coming clean, for instance.

  Here, her problems with Greg seemed a million miles away. In fact, she’d hardly thought about him at all since she’d been away, apart from when Sophia had asked about him the previous evening. Seeing his name on the screen of her mobile phone surprised Magda, and jolted her out of the home-induced cloud she’d been floating on. Reality hit hard and she opened the email with trepidation.

  Hi, Magda. How are things? How is your dad? I hope all is going well. I’m emailing just to check when you’ll be home. I think we have a couple of matters to discuss and I think it’s best to do this sooner rather than later. Let me know. Yours, Greg.

  His words filled Magda with a peculiar sense of dread, although she wasn’t sure why. It’s not like she hadn’t seen this coming. She’d always known everything that had been going on would come to a head eventually, but she’d wanted to be the one to raise the subject. In her usual style, she’d run away from it rather than facing it head on, and now Greg would be the one to have his say first. She read it a couple more times, bizarrely annoyed he hadn’t even bothered to put a kiss at the end, or told her he missed her. Again, she already knew that any feelings he had for her had dwindled, but still… the lack of effort on his part was atrocious.

  Rather than replying, Magda deleted the email. It was silly, but she would deal with her marriage once she got home. She refused to let it infect all that was already happening here. The chance at a fresh start with Sophia was much more important than him, she realised.

  The sound of Charlie’s movements downstairs prompted Magda to rise. She enjoyed a quick shower before getting dressed, then took herself down, delighted to be greeted by the smell of yet another fried breakfast. At this rate, she’d be the size of a house by the time she returned home, but that didn’t matter. It wasn’t like she had anyone to impress, was it?

  She stepped into the kitchen, enticed by the smells of the food, and was surprised to find Charlie already dressed. In terms of laziness, he was much worse than Magda, taking his time in having a wash and getting dressed. But this morning, he looked fresher than a daisy. And was wearing aftershave, she noticed, as she sniffed the air.

  ‘You’re looking and smelling fresh this morning,’ she commented as she nudged him on her way to the kettle. ‘What’s the occasion?’

  ‘I’ve taken your advice and, after breakfast, I’m off to see an old friend of mine.’

  Magda raised her eyebrows. She was seriously impressed. ‘Wow. That’s fantastic, Dad. I’m so pleased. So, who’s this friend then?’ She sat at the table, nursing the mug in her hands. It was lovely and warm. ‘Anyone I know?’

  Charlie served up two plates of food and carried them both to the table. He sat down and tucked in. ‘No, I don’t think so. You haven’t met her before, but she’s a very nice lady. Really down to earth and genuine.’

  Magda stilled. This friend was a woman? ‘Oh. I see. Well, that sounds great. She sounds lovely.’ She dug into the hot food in front of her and tried not to dwell too much on the prospect of her father getting friendly with another woman. The childish part of her wanted her father to love only her mother for ever, even if she was gone. But she couldn’t go back on her words now, could she? The grown-up side of Magda knew more than enough time had passed, and Charlie deserved some happiness and companionship after so much time spent alone. ‘Are you going anywhere nice with this friend?’

  ‘Just popping for a coffee. Nothing too extravagant. But I haven’t seen her for a long time and I’m looking forward to a catch-up. Do you know what, Magda?’ He put down his cutlery and looked as if he was about to make an important speech. ‘For the first time in a long time, I feel ready to get back out there. I think it’s because of what you said when we spoke, about your mother wanting me to be happy. You were right. She really would want me to be happy. And, in all honesty, I’ve done enough moping about to last me a lifetime. It’s time to take back my life and be in control. I’ve felt heartbreak, I’ve been in love, and I’ll never, ever forget your mother. But no more sadness. I want to feel what it’s like to be happy again, and that’s thanks to you.’

  Magda felt her bottom lip tremble as she considered her father’s words. She didn’t know what to say. She couldn’t put into words the happiness and triumph she felt at having helped him see there was a way forward. Imagine if she hadn’t come home, and he’d continued to live in the way he had been for the remainder of his life? It didn’t bear thinking about, and the joy of knowing he was off out for coffee, even if it did seem incredibly simple and easy to others, was amazing. Magda grinned at him across the table and tried to articulate her emotions.

  ‘You have no idea how happy that makes me.’ It was a simple statement but described her feelings perfectly. ‘Enjoy yourself, Dad. It’s about time you did.’

  Feeling content, Magda and Charlie tucked into their food. It was the most perfect way to start the day, and Magda only hoped that, from here on out, Charlie would continue to improve. Before he knew it, catching up over coffee would turn into a day out fishing with another old friend. Little steps always led to bigger ones, and Magda was thrilled to have been the one to start him off in the right direction to leading a happier life. She knew he would never forget her mother but, as she’d said before, until they met again, there was no harm in enjoying himself, just like his late wife would have wanted him to, and nothing could have made her happier than knowing a smile was on his face, and that she had helped put it there. He’d just needed a little push, that was all. One moment of courage could lead to so much more.

  While Charlie was out enjoying his coffee and catch-up, Magda decided to go for a walk too. She had no destination in her mind, but it was a relief to feel the cool air on her skin as she stepped out and allowed her feet to lead the way.

  A short while later, she ended up at Green Fields Park. She’d come here plenty of times when she’d been younger and decided to follow the long and winding footpath through the park, enjoying the refreshing scenery on her way. The sky wasn’t completely free of clouds, but it was still bright, and Magda couldn’t help feeling she’d definitely made progress since she’d arrived. Greg and their marriage was so far from her thoughts, it was almost impossible to believe her life with him even existed.

  She was so much happier here. Close to her parents and making some sort of headway with Sophia, even if it was only a tiny bit, helped her to feel grounded and more like her old self. The confidence that had slowly dwindled away to nothing was beginning to rear its head again, even more so when a gentleman passed her by and smiled in her direction. She smiled back, noticing a small bounce in her step, and decided to take a seat on a bench she could see ahead, just to the right of the footpath she was following.

  She sat down and sighed. Not a sad sigh, but a happy sigh. She took note of the pretty flowers growing around the bench, and of the people walking by: mothers with pushchairs going for an afternoon stroll and dog-walkers taking their furry pals for a walk through the scenery. It was so relaxing and Magda closed her eyes for a second or two, soaking it all in.

  ‘Magda?’

  Magda’s eyes opened quickly and she found Sophia standing in front of her. ‘Oh, hello, Sophia. I didn’t expect to find you here.’ She budged up on the bench.

  ‘I like to come here now and again.’ Sophia sat down beside her. ‘It’s lovely, isn’t it? One of my favourite places to come to.’

  ‘No work today?’ asked Magda, looking sideways at her.

  ‘I only work part-time, so I get a few afternoons to myself, thankfully. I’ll need to go and collect Esther from school soon though. The time has flown by today.’

  ‘Tell me about it. I’m just sat here, thinking about my dad. He’s ventured out of the house today, for the first ti
me in God knows how long, to meet up with an old friend for coffee.’

  Even Sophia knew that this was a massive step forward for Charlie, and she turned to Magda with a delighted grin on her face. ‘Really? Wow. That’s definitely progress.’ She seemed genuinely impressed and Magda was reminded of how close they’d once been, celebrating each other’s good news, and commiserating over the bad.

  ‘I know. I’m thrilled about it. His old friend is actually a she, believe it or not.’

  ‘Really?’ asked Sophia, raising her eyebrows in interest. ‘That’s exciting, isn’t it?’

  ‘It is.’ Magda nodded. ‘I hope he’s enjoying himself. He deserves it after all the heartache. It’s just a relief to know he’s still got it in him, you know what I mean? That he’s still got that get-up-and-go, even after everything.’

  ‘You’re right. He deserves some happiness. He’s spent such a long time feeling sad. I remember, not long after you left, I barely ever saw him. He used to pop round and see my dad a lot, and they’d have a cuppa together in his shed and talk about old man things, but that stopped too. It’s so great he’s getting back out there, Magda. I’m really happy for you, and for your dad. Perhaps he just needed you to come back and give him that little push, you know? It always helps, I think. Help from those who love you and who you love back.’

  With a smile, Magda nodded in agreement. ‘You’re so right. I wish I’d come back sooner. That I hadn’t left it so long. I could have helped him sooner if I had. Tried to fix things with you sooner as well. But, you know how it is…’ Magda trailed off, ending with a small shrug.

  A few moments of silence elapsed between the two women. It was still awkward. Things would not be right for a long time, but Magda was fine with that. She understood.

  She stared off into the distance, deep in thought. So many times she’d imagined her ‘other’ life, and what she’d be doing now if she hadn’t been bowled over by Greg. If she hadn’t been taken in by the luxurious lifestyle and fake promises he’d made. She should have seen straight through the shiny, polished surface. Should have realised it was all too good to be true. But she’d been young and naïve and hadn’t taken the time to think properly about the consequences of her decision. If only, if only, if only…

  ‘Tell me about Greg. Your husband.’

  Magda was taken aback by Sophia’s question. She opened her mouth to say something, but then closed it again. ‘He’s…’

  ‘Abusive?’

  Magda frowned. ‘Not really. No. He’s never hurt me physically.’

  ‘Emotionally, then?’

  ‘It’s an odd situation to tell you the truth, Sophia. We’re both stuck in this marriage when we both know neither of us wants to be in it. He’s been sleeping with other women behind my back. So, in a stupid act of revenge that made me feel no better, I slept with someone too. More than once. It’s been going on for months now. But even before all that started, things changed between us. We stopped having sex with each other. We stopped speaking. It was like the spark that was once there just… fizzled out.’

  Sophia nodded. ‘That happens a lot, you know. It’s very common in marriages.’

  ‘It is?’ Magda looked at her with interest. ‘How do you know?’

  She was sure she saw a faint blush rise in Sophia’s cheeks. ‘I read a lot of romance books, and magazines with true stories. You know the kind. Where women write in with their problems. Men too.’

  ‘If you’re going to tell me we should spice things up, I’m afraid it’s far too late for that.’ Magda laughed lightly. ‘We’re way past that point now. The point of no return. I don’t think it’s possible to salvage anything. I shouldn’t have got married to him. Dad never liked him either. I should have trusted his instinct. I wouldn’t be in the mess I’m in now, would I?’

  ‘Who knows?’ replied Sophia. ‘What are you going to do?’

  ‘I have no bloody idea. We’ve barely spoken since I came back home. He’s emailed me once, simply to say we need to talk once I return.’

  ‘What do you think he wants to talk about? Did he say in the email?

  ‘No, although I have an inkling it will be about calling quits on our marriage. It’s about time, really. We’ve both dragged it out for far too long. I don’t love him any more and clearly, if his misdemeanours are anything to go by, he doesn’t love me either. It’s done. It’s over. We both need to face up to that fact. And the quicker we do, the quicker we can both get on with our lives.’

  ‘At least you’re being honest with yourself. A lot of women cling to something they know is broken, simply because it feels safe and familiar.’

  ‘Oh, I’ve done my fair share of clinging. I’m tired of it now. What’s the point? What am I clinging on to? Nothing, because there’s nothing there anymore. It will feel like a relief once the string is finally cut. I can’t even look him in the eye. All the lies he’s told me, all the things he’s done. It’s too much. It’s gone too far.’

  ‘I understand that.’

  Magda nodded. ‘Thanks. It feels good to get it out.’

  ‘It feels good to be talking again.’

  Magda smiled to herself. Sophia was right. It did. ‘It does.’

  ‘Seeing as you’ve spilled the beans, I guess I should spill some of my own.’

  ‘Feel free.’ Magda settled back against the bench. This felt like a massive step forward for their friendship. They were sharing again. Telling each other their problems. It felt lovely. It felt like old times.

  ‘As you know, Tom is back. I’ve agreed to let him see Esther. In fact, that’s where I’ve just been. I arranged to meet him in the café. I’m not entirely sure of how I feel about that. I mean, I know he’s her dad, and of course he has rights. Part of me wants to share Esther with him because I want him to know how absolutely amazing his daughter is. He has no idea. I want him to see everything he’s missed out on. I’m still stung about him leaving when I needed him the most, but I’m an adult now, and I’ve made it pretty far on my own, with the help of my parents. But then, there’s this other part of me that feels like he doesn’t deserve to know her. I know that sounds awfully spiteful of me, but that’s how I feel. Why does he get to bugger off, and then come back when he feels like it with his tail between his legs? That’s not fair, is it?’

  Magda took a deep breath. ‘No, you’re right. It isn’t fair. I still can’t believe he did that, so I certainly can’t imagine how you feel about it. But like you’ve said, you’ve done such a brilliant job of raising Esther on your own, Sophia. You really have. She’s such a lovely little girl. I know I haven’t been properly introduced to her, but from what I’ve seen of her, she’s a little angel.’

  Sophia nodded. ‘Go on.’

  ‘Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. Maybe allowing Tom to see Sophia will help him to realise what a monumental mistake he made back then by leaving? And it could be good for Esther to meet him. I always loved having my dad around when I was little, but I suppose that’s because he’s always been there anyway. They could have an incredible bond after time, Sophia. It’s yet another person who will completely adore her. Another person she has who can provide comfort and love. Isn’t that a better way to look at it? I know it probably feels like you’re having to share her after having her to yourself for so long, but maybe try it. Maybe see how it goes.’

  Sophia blinked, her gaze focused on the distance. ‘Yeah. It doesn’t sound so bad when you put it like that. See how it goes.’ She nodded, as if confirming it to herself. ‘I’m so scared of him hurting her or letting her down. If he does, I’ll feel as though it’s my fault because I allowed him back into her life when I should have known better.’

  ‘He’s a lot older now, Sophia. Perhaps even a lot wiser. He’s obviously thought about it a lot. The only reason he even came back to go to the reunion was to see you, but then he chickened out. It obviously means a lot to him. Being as nervous as he was? It only shows how much he cares.’<
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  ‘When you saw him that night…’ Sophia began tentatively. ‘Did you feel anything towards him?’

  Magda bit her lip. ‘It was a shock. And for a few tiny seconds, I remembered how I’d felt about him when I was young. But no. After that? Nothing. And knowing he left you when you were carrying his child? That just cements it even more. I think I’ve given up on men, and love, altogether at this point. I’m not looking for romance any more. I’m simply looking for happiness.’

  ‘I like that.’ Sophia cocked her head to the side. ‘Looking for happiness.’

  ‘Yeah. Sounds all right, doesn’t it?’

  They shared a smile, and Magda wondered where things would go from there. Sophia seemed calm as she sat beside her and shared her worries over Tom and Esther. Magda hoped she had helped in some way, no matter how small. She wasn’t the best at giving advice, but for Sophia, she would try. She would do anything to repair the gaps that lay between them. No matter how many years had passed, their friendship was one of the few things Magda still valued.

  ‘Right. I better get going. Esther will be out soon. Spag bol for lunch. It’s her favourite.’

  Magda grinned. ‘Really? What a coincidence. It’s mine too.’

  Sophia turned to head off but then paused. She turned back to face Magda. She appeared unsure of herself for a moment. Magda wondered what was on her mind.

  ‘Why don’t you come with me?’

  ‘Come with you?’ Magda asked, slightly confused.

  ‘Yes,’ Sophia nodded. ‘Come with me to pick up Esther, and then join us for spag bol? It won’t be ready too late. You might as well, seeing as it’s your favourite.’

  Magda felt like this was Sophia holding out a hand towards her. An olive branch, perhaps. She didn’t hesitate to take up the offer. She nodded keenly, unable to believe that such an invitation had been made. She would get to meet Sophia’s daughter properly. Little Esther. She was so excited she could hardly contain it.