Hidden Monster

by Amanda Strong

I hadn’t noticed the slow song until Blake drew me closer. His hand barely brushed against my back, almost as if he were afraid I’d break.

  “You’re right; this is going to be very painful for Jeremy,” I murmured.

  He glanced down at me, his smile not the crooked, confident one I was used to. Though his hand was weightless against the crook of my back, the warmth from his fingers seeped through my gown. Our other hand was intertwined, resting against his chest. I found it difficult to breathe or think straight. Was I imagining the heat coming off us? It felt almost electric. We rotated and I spied Jeremy, hands on hips. I cringed. I lifted my free hand off his shoulder and pointed at the back of Blake’s head, mouthing, “Sorry”. I wanted to imply that this dance was Blake’s idea.

  Jeremy grimaced and stalked away. I hoped Blake didn’t notice my silent message, but as we came close to Mack and Jen, Blake pointed not too subtly to my head and mouthed, “Sorry,” to Jen. I stifled a grin. The truth was I was just glad he was okay with me throwing myself into his arms earlier. At least, that was what I decided had happened.

  Blake gestured with his chin. “Good to see Jeremy moves on quickly.”

  I turned to see what he meant. Jeremy was dancing with Monica again.

  “Oh. Guess we all got our dates wrong tonight,” I said.

  Blake glanced at me. “Wow, look at you.”

  “What?”

  “Actually admitting you’re wrong.”

  “Why do you say that—because I didn’t go with you tonight?” Wishing I didn’t notice how close our mouths were, I resisted the urge to take a step forward..

  “Well, yeah, there’s that. And of course, Jeremy’s a total tool.”

  “You really like to call him that, don’t you.”

  “I do have way more colorful names. Want to hear them?”

  “Mm… think I’ll pass, thanks.”

  His eyes met mine. “What do you see in him anyway?”

  “Um… I really don’t know anymore.” I chuckled and shrugged. “I guess he was just the first boy to like me.” Being a tomboy came with its drawbacks… Namely, no one asked you out. Jeremy was sort of my first real boyfriend.

  Blake’s mouth dropped open, looking as if he was about to disagree with me, but he must’ve changed his mind. He shut his lips and shifted his gaze away from me. I could easily tell where he was now staring—Jeremy and Monica.

  “It’s just weird right now with him because he’s acting like he didn’t break up with me,” I admitted, watching Jeremy turn Monica in circles.

  Blake stared at me. “Wait, he broke up with you? He’s a bigger dink than I thought.”

  “Stop.” I swatted his shoulder. “It’s not his fault.”

  “Oh really?” He shot me an incredulous look.

  “I accused him of being my kidnapper, and he wasn’t happy about it.”

  Blake grunted. “Why’d you think it was him?”

  “It was something he said. Jeremy used to call me his special girl.”

  “Why doesn’t that surprise me?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Haven’t you noticed how possessive he is over you? He gets crazy if anyone even looks at you.”

  I glanced over his shoulder at Jeremy; he glared back at me. I tried to smile, but it came out strangled. I looked away. “He’s just the jealous type, I guess. If it makes you feel better, he’s never liked Mack either.”

  “I know.”

  I glanced at him. You do?

  Blake cleared his throat. “So since you told him yes, I’m guessing you don’t think it’s him anymore.”

  “He had alibis.”

  He was quiet and then glanced at me. “Sam, can I ask you something?” Seeing the way his eyebrows furrowed, I wasn’t sure if I wanted him to, but I nodded anyway.

  “Did the guy say anything else to you in the cabin?”

  My stomach somersaulted. Should I tell him?

  “Sam,” he urged, “it could be important.”

  For some reason, the words rushed out. “He told me I’d fall in love with him.” There, I said it! A whoosh of relief and terror rushed through me simultaneously.

  “What?” Blake stopped dancing, his hand tightening on mine.

  I met his brewing eyes, the aqua blues storming before me.

  “I told him I’d never love him, that he was a monster.” I swallowed. “But he said the best part for him was I wouldn’t know who he really was until it was too late.” My bottom lip trembled.

  He pulled me closer, his hands holding me firmly against him. Somewhere in my mind, I realized we were dancing again.

  “Did he say anything else?” he asked quietly in my ear.

  I wanted it all off my chest. “Yes, that he’d made the blend special for me and… that he’s always loved me.” Blake’s body jerked in my arms, like my words stung him. I plodded on. “That I was beautiful, smart, and… and… I knew him.”

  “You know him?”

  I swallowed, trying to moisten my cottonmouth. I wasn’t prepared for Blake’s reaction. His gaze looked a thousand miles away, staring into nothingness.

  “Yeah, but I have no idea who he is.”

  His eyes came back into focus, piercing into mine. “Did you tell anyone else this?”

  “No. I was too scared. I felt like if he knew I’d told someone, he’d get to me somehow. I know it sounds stupid.”

  I wondered why Blake stopped dancing and then realized the song was over. Panic seized me. Would he leave me? Now that I spilled my guts, would he walk away and leave me in the suffocating darkness?

  “No, it’s not stupid. I’m so sorry I brought this up. I know it’s painful for you, Sam.” Blake studied my face. His lips turned down.

  I tried to shrug it off, but I was having a hard time getting air in. “It’s okay. I’m fine, really.” The words came out hoarse. “I know you care about me. As a friend, I mean.”

  “Yes, as a friend,” he murmured, moving his hand from my back, leaving it feeling cold and exposed. Instinctively, I clutched at his other hand, not wanting him to let go of me altogether. He seemed to study my face and then steered us to the side.

  “You’re looking pale, Sam. Are you sure you’re all right? I shouldn’t have brought all that up.”

  “No, no, it’s okay. I’m fine, really.” But I wasn’t. My head was spinning. Is this what Cinderella felt before morphing back? I hoped not. I wasn’t sure what I’d be wearing or if I’d have anything on at all!

  “Sam, I need to tell you something.” He hesitated, his eyes flicking to my wings. It took all my willpower to keep them from fluttering back at him. “I’m going to California.”

  That was unexpected. “What? When?”

  “Tomorrow.”

  I simply stared back at him.

  “I’m going to visit my brother for a few days,” he explained.

  My voice wouldn’t cooperate, my throat constricting.

  “And I need to see some friends,” he finished.

  My heart squeezed. “When are you coming back?”

  “Not sure, probably end of the week.”

  “Oh,” I choked out. My air was completely blocked, and I could feel myself drowning again. The water was covering my face, filling my nostrils, my mouth, my eyes, my lungs. I sucked in, desperate to relieve the burn in my chest.

  Blake’s eyes darted between mine. “Sam, what’s wrong?”

  I could hardly tell him I was reliving a childhood nightmare that haunted me ever since the accident.

  “Nothing, I’m fine,” I managed, my ears ringing. He doesn’t need to know I’m no stranger to therapy. He already thinks I’m messed up enough. Besides, the drowning was a long time ago. I thought the therapy had worked. At least, my parents stopped making me go. My mom said it was because I screamed at the therapist, telling her I was fine and not ever coming back. However, I had no memory of that, and why would they listen to a nine-year-old child anyway? Why am I
reliving this fear now? Of all times! It was like my abduction had ripped open my old wounds, like a Band-Aid taken off a bit too soon. I felt raw and vulnerable again.

  He opened his mouth, a question clearly forming with how far his eyebrows were bent, but someone stepped between us. Jeremy.

 

  Jeremy made sure it was the last time I was near Blake, or Mack or Jen for that matter. The rest of the dance was miserable. I was relieved when the DJ announced it was the last song and to grab that special someone now. Well, I know one thing for sure now. I’m definitely over Jeremy. I don’t care what he tells everyone. I’m done.

  We moved in slow circles, Jeremy quiet, and me feeling guilty. If I had just been honest with him from the start, we wouldn’t both be in torture. I glanced up at him. His scowl made my stomach drop.

  “What’s wrong?” I asked.

  “It makes me mad.”

  “What?” Let me guess, me dancing with Blake?

  “Because of some freak show, you’ll never be the same,” he muttered.

  “Where did that come from?”

  “It was so good before. He ruined what we had. I can see it on your face. You didn’t want to be with me the whole night.”

  I bit my lip. Guess Jeremy read me like an open book. “I tried to tell you, Jeremy. I just need more time.”

  “Whatever, that’s not it. You just don’t feel it anymore. You should’ve just told me, Samantha. I’m not dumb.”

  “Why don’t we go talk in your car?” Not only did I want to avoid a scene in front of everyone, I was anxious to go home. I’d made it the entire night without shooting up in the air, and I wanted to keep it that way.

  He stared at me for a moment and then shrugged. “Yeah, sure, whatever,” he muttered, striding away from me.

  I stared after him. Oh boy. I had the feeling this wasn’t going to be a fun ride home. Taking a deep breath, I squared my shoulders and forced my feet to plod after him. Just get this over with, I told myself, leaving the gym. The dance was over now, and the foyer rapidly filled with teens.

  I was berating myself for being such a chicken in the first place when I heard it—a growl directly behind me.

  I stopped midstride, my heart thumping. Planted to the floor, I couldn’t turn around. Blood pounded in my ears, and my fingers turned to ice.

  He’s here. I’d know that mechanical purring anywhere. He’s here! He’s behind me!

  This was it; the moment I knew would come, though I hadn’t pictured it in such a public place. Even still, it was straight out of my nightmares. The monster voice said something, but it was too muffled to understand. My wings shuddered.

  Oh crap! Luckily, in the pressing crowd, no one noticed. Someone touched my arm and I yelped, barely keeping my feet on the ground. I prayed no one saw the sudden movement of my wings.

  “Jumpy little thing, aren’t you?” Blake teased. His amused expression soon gave way to concern, his hand landing on my shoulder. “Sam, what’s going on? What’s wrong?”

  I did my best to keep my voice steady, but my words choked out anyway. “It’s him… that voice!”

  His eyes turned to steel as he glanced over my shoulder. It was strange, but I could tell he was scanning the crowd, like he knew what he was searching for. One long, guttural laugh and Blake’s eyes honed in on his target. He glanced at me. “Stay here.”

  “Blake, wait!” But he was gone. Trembling, I rotated slowly. My legs felt like jelly, and my throat was dry. I located where it came from—a guy wearing a long, black cape. He roared with that sickening, altered voice. He was surrounded by friends, his back to me.

  Blake got in his face. “Who are you? Take off your mask.”

  The kid shifted to stare at Blake, and I saw his gory mask. They weren’t allowed at the dance, but now that it was over, he must’ve put it on.

  The growling voice barked back, “Whatever, man.”

  Blake didn’t move. “Take it off.”

  “What are you—the school police or something?” he jeered. Blake’s hand shot forward, grabbing the caped arm. The kid jerked back. “Get off me, man! What’s wrong with you?”

  “I’m going to ask you one more time to take off your mask.” Blake’s words came through clenched teeth.

  The kid laughed; the monster-like growl I could never forget. “Whatever, loser.”

  “Wrong answer.” He threw the guy against the wall.

  Others noticed the scuffle, and a crowd gathered. I flushed and wrapped my arms around myself.

  The kid yelled back, “What the devils wrong with you?”

  Blake tore the mask off and yanked the hood down, ignoring the squirming teen. I was surprised Blake held him so easily with one arm. I recognized the kid immediately; a shock of thick, red hair poked out from the costume. Freckles smattered the pale kid’s face. A small, black box was in his mouth, which he spat into his hand.

  “What’s your name?” Blake asked, still holding the guy against the wall.

  “Let go of me, man.” Blake didn’t let go. “Ok, I’m Mike. Now get off me!” The kid pushed back at Blake, but he didn’t budge.

  “Where did you get that?” Blake gestured to the voice box.

  “They’re everywhere. I got it at the Halloween Superstore. It’s like ten bucks. Everyone has them. Now let go of me, you freak!”

  Blake stared at Mike’s face for a moment, inhaled deeply, and then slowly released him. “Sorry, Mike, my mistake.”

  “It will be if you ever try that again,” Mike muttered, shoving him away. Blake didn’t look like he even noticed the hit.

  Mike stomped away with his friends, probably humiliated, and I ducked my head. This is all my fault. Tons of kids probably have those things. And now because of me, Blake attacked some random kid.

  “What was that all about?” Jen asked breathlessly.

  I glanced over, seeing her for the first time. “Nothing.”

  “Why did Blake do that?”

  I wondered how Blake dismissed Mike like it couldn’t have been him. How would he know?

  “It was just a misunderstanding,” I said, catching sight of Jeremy in the outside door. His expression said it all. I knew what he was thinking. There she goes again, accusing some poor guy of being ‘the monster’.

  “I better go,” I said to Jen. Blake walked over to us. I opened and shut my mouth, finally managing, “Blake, I’m sorry, I thought—”

  He touched my arm. “Are you ok? Sorry he scared you.”

  The final tingles of adrenaline disappeared, and my knees buckled. Luckily, Blake was there to grab my arm, helping me stay upright.

  “Let me take you home tonight,” he demanded more than he asked. Jen gasped. That was not what she’d like, that was for sure, and I hated to admit it just wasn’t an option for me either. I had an unpleasant conversation with Jeremy to look forward to. Ugh…

  “Thanks, but I’m fine. Jeremy’s waiting for me.”

  Blake slowly released my arm. “Okay,” a smile twitched on his lips, “but if that weasel tries anything, you know where to find me.”

  I was about to respond, but Mack and Monica waltzed over.

  “Well, well that was a lot of drama.” Mack glanced at Blake. I could’ve sworn something passed between them, not really tension, more like communication. Then Mack’s brow creased as he gazed back at me. “Are you okay, Sammy?”

  “Yeah, what can I say? I attract drama.” I tried to grin back at him, but it felt forced and unnatural.

  “Well, looking like that, you better watch out.” He cocked his head at me, as if debating, and then shot a look at Blake. “You taking her home?”

  “Nope, Jeremy.”

  Mack nodded slowly, and I just stared at both of them. It dawned on me what it was passing between them. They were friends. When did that happen? Well, whenever it was, I was glad.