Against The Wall

by Dee J. Adams

  Now, sticking with her parents’ new motto, Tanner seized the moment. Staring into Jess’s whiskey eyes, he traced her bottom lip with his thumb. Her eyes glazed over and a wave of emotion struck Tanner head-on. He didn’t take the fact that she wanted him lightly. Most women wouldn’t want a man with a prison record. But the desire in her eyes shone bright and it matched exactly what he felt for her. With a hint of pressure, he pressed her lip down and bent his head, taking her mouth with a hunger he’d been suppressing for too long.

  Jess gave into his kiss with a soft moan, her mouth open and welcoming as he tasted her. It was when she pulled back and shook her head that Tanner sensed trouble.

  “We shouldn’t,” she said. But her eyes said she wanted to.

  Tanner moved toward her and she stepped back. “Why?” Why put on the brakes when they clearly wanted each other so badly. “Are you worried about someone coming in or—”

  “No, no.” She shook her head. “That isn’t it.” She ran her hands through her hair the way she always did when she was torn, but now that it was longer, it settled against her scalp in messy, sexy layers. “I’m just thinking about the future. About the trial. I shouldn’t do this when I don’t know what my future is going be.” She paced away from him. “You especially, you should be going out and meeting people. You aren’t chained to my family just because my dad got you a job. You should be doing all the things you didn’t get to do when you were in prison.” Facing him, she looked as innocent as she always did, concern in her eyes and in her voice.

  Was this her way of trying to get rid of him? Considering she was the one who’d lost control before the phone rang, he doubted it. “Be straight, Jess. If you want me gone, then say so, but don’t deny what’s between us because you’re worried about the future. That’s only another reason why we should live for now.” He moved toward her. “I want you more than I want to breathe. I want to feel what it’s like to be inside you again. I want your taste in my mouth. What happens at the trial isn’t something we can control, but we have control over right now.”

  “Fine. Let’s say we do it your way. What happens three months from now if I go to prison? Are you going to move on with your life? If I get fifteen years, will you find a woman, fall in love and have a family?”

  “I don’t know what the hell I’m going to do in two days, much less three months from now. I think your parents have the right idea, Jess. You have to live in the now, because you don’t know what’s going to happen in the future.” Tanner stalked her until Jess had the wall at her back. It was very similar to their first encounter in the kitchen and his blood revved hotter just thinking about taking her here. “Your call, Jess. Are you really going to give up the time you know you have left?”

  “It’s not about me, it’s about you.” she insisted. “I want you to be ha,” she whisperedce.t him ppy. What’s the point of being with me when you can be out meeting someone who might not be spending the next ten-to-twenty years behind bars?”

  “You’re wasting your breath, sweetheart,” Tanner whispered as he cupped her neck and brought his mouth closer to hers. “There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than right here with you.” He sealed his words with a kiss, molding his mouth against hers in a connection so hot it would’ve set the drapes on fire had there been any.

  He felt her cave. Knew he had her when she wrapped her arms around his neck and kissed him back just as hungrily as he kissed her.

  “This is just for now,” she breathed. “No ties, nothing serious.”

  Tanner grunted his answer as he took her mouth in another soul shattering kiss. She could call it anything she wanted, but he’d already learned she was the kind of woman he wanted for the long haul and the last three months had only solidified that fact. He didn’t expect the feeling to go away any time soon, but damn if he planned on telling her and scaring her off even more.

  When her cool palms reached under his shirt and slid under the waistband of his jeans, all thoughts of saying anything fled completely. The only thing on his mind was making her come.

  Tanner hefted her against the thick archway that opened into the room. All the other walls were made of glass and he didn’t trust their strength. He would’ve checked for wainscoting on the wall, but he’d helped build the thing and knew it was smooth.

  “Ohgodohgod,” she breathed, rubbing against him with a long slide.

  Tanner growled a response before taking her mouth in a deep, wet kiss.

  “Upstairs,” she huffed the next time they came up for air.

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Tanner pulled up in front of the St. Johns’ house and killed the wipers, headlights and engine. Three months had flown by like three days. November rain hit the windshield in a deluge, and palm trees swayed in strong wind gusts. Instead of taking an immediate soaking, he psyched himself up for another “family” dinner. It wasn’t that he didn’t like the St. Johns—all of them—because he did. It was dealing with them now that they were in the middle of the trial that made things more difficult. They had banded together, surrounding Jess with their love and support, which just made Tanner more aware of what he’d given up with his own family. That’s what stuck in his chest and twisted.

  But he had nowhere to go and ultimately nowhere else he’d rather be. After the construction job ended, he worked for her father in a series of odd jobs around the house, then Jess had hired him to help her with the movie’s business plan. They’d worked together so well the past couple months, budgeting the picture and pricing the crew. Every day he learned more and more about producing, and Jess was ready if McBride gave her a green light.

  The rain tapered off and Tanner got out of the car. He waved to the bodyguard parked out front. Jay had hired a guy to watch the house to ensure Jess’s safety, but he usually only came when Jess was alone. They all worried about Facinetti striking from prison.

  Tonight shouldn’t be different than any of the others, but it was. The more time that went by without a verdict, the more tense everyone got. Four days had dragged on. Jay had hoped for a quick deliberation, but the longer it took, the more somber he became and the bleaker Jess’s future looked. A rare boom of thunder punctuated Tanner’s thoughts. He took a deep breath, didn’t want to think the storm was any indication of Jess’s future. The weather was actually a nice change from the stuffy room they’d been confined in while waiting for the jury to decide.

  “Hello?” His voice echoed in the large kitchen. He heard Jess coming from the solarium as he shook off the rain and hung his leather jacket on the coat rack. She stood in the doorframe and about took his breath away. Wearing an oversized sweater and leggings, she looked like a kid. But Tanner knew better. She wore her hair in a bob that barely hit her shoulders. It looked thick and silky and made his palms itch to touch it. Despite her thick, cream sweater, she had her arms crossed over her chest.

  “Hi,” she said. “I wasn’t sure you’d come by. The weather’s horrible.”

  Her comment shouldn’t have surprised him. She’d been dropping those little bombs for weeks now, looking for an excuse for him not to be there. Jess had insisted,” she whispered">shown her how he felt. The last three months had been chock-full of quickies. They’d grabbed any and every spare minute alone, on each other like bees on honey. Anywhere in the house was fair game. Tanner had hoisted her on the bathroom counter, the washing machine and against a wall in nearly half the closets in the house. They were pros at vertical sex. Nothing could keep him away from her.

  Except maybe prison. Shit. Stupid thought.

  “Me? Miss out on food? You think a little rain will get in my way?” He grinned and she smiled back. “Where is everybody?” He’d seen her father’s car in the driveway, so that killed a chance for a quickie.

  She shrugged. “Not sure. Mom and Dad went upstairs to change. Eric and Danny aren’t here yet. I don’t know where the twins are. They had a stop to make. We ordered Dr. Pizza so it should be here any
minute.” The mention of Dr. Pizza always reminded Tanner of that one and only time six months ago when they’d spent the entire night together. Jess watched him and he knew she was thinking about the same thing. Hot, incredible sex. Burn up the sheets, carnal sex. He’d taken it slow that night. Real slow. He’d kissed, licked and sucked nearly every inch of skin. God, what he wouldn’t give to do that again. To be able to take his time with her. That night had been about enjoying the sensations of a woman, about hearing the sounds and reveling in the feel and texture of her. But if he got the chance again…it would be about loving her. It would be showing her exactly how he felt. Not something easily accomplished with a quickie.

  Part of Tanner didn’t care that her parents were in the house. He wanted to pull her close and kiss the shit out of her. He wanted to yank down those leggings and push inside her. They’d been so careful and he couldn’t take a chance they’d kick him out now. Not when they potentially had so little time together.

  A sick feeling rolled in his gut. What if she didn’t reciprocate his feelings? What if she’d been serious about ‘just for now’? She’d never acted as if she didn’t want him around, but she’d also never confessed any emotional ties either. Neither had he, but only because he’d been afraid she’d pull away from him.

  A car pulled up next to the kitchen door and the twins raced into the house still dressed in their suits. Blake pocketed his phone as he jogged by her with Brendan on his heels. “Hey,” Brendan said. “Hope it’s cool, Jess, but we got invited to David’s sister’s gallery opening. We’ll probably crash at his place tonight, so don’t wait up.”

  “Just need to change and pack my jammies,” Blake called from the hallway.

  “Yeah, sure,” she said at her brothers’ backs. But they were already gone, their footsteps pounding up the stairway.

  The phone rang and Jess picked it up. She listened, glancing at him again before looking,” she whisperedgraatay b away. “Oh, that sucks. Sorry. Hope you get it fixed.” She nodded and kept the phone to her ear another minute, mumbling quick responses before hanging up. She took out four plates and set them on the kitchen table. “Looks like none of the boys will be here tonight. Eric and Danny have a leak in the roof and they’re trying to find the manager. They’re afraid to leave in case it gets worse. They said they’d be at the courthouse in the morning.”

  Wow. Four people out of the way in under a minute, but Tanner didn’t think he’d get a shot. The odds were against them having a whole night together.

  They heard commotion in the upstairs hallway as Jess set out glasses and silverware for four. Her brothers raced out of the kitchen as quickly as they’d come in, only this time they had on jeans, boots and jackets. They each carried suits covered in plastic and had athletic bags over their shoulders. An awkward moment passed when they took turns hugging her. Then they quickly called out their good-byes and said they’d see her at the courthouse tomorrow.

  Her parents came in next. They each also had a bag packed. Something was up.

  “All right, what’s going on?” Jess asked.

  Jay set his bag on the table and looked at Jess. “I got a call a little while ago.”

  Tanner’s stomach knotted and the idea of food didn’t appeal any more. Jay must have heard something and wanted to break the news without her brothers around. On second thought, maybe her brothers already knew and that’s why they’d become scarce. Maybe he should give them privacy too, but he had as much a right to know what was happening as anyone here.

  Jess straightened her back and got ready for the worst.

  “Looks like we’ll get the verdict first thing in the morning,” Jay said. He pulled her into a tight hug and squeezed his eyes shut. The emotion on his face and the implication put a knot in Tanner’s gut.

  Swallowing, Jess nodded as she stepped back. She’d been waiting for this, they all had. Tanner hadn’t expected it would happen this way. With so much time—a whole night for everyone to consider the consequences.

  Another car pulled up by the kitchen door with the Dr. Pizza logo on the roof.

  “I’ve got that.” Her dad reached for his wallet and took out a few twenties. The delivery guy handed over the usual three pizzas, chicken, salad and soda and took his money. He scampered back to the haven of his dry car. Jess and Terry helped Jay with all the food, but the room was eerily quiet.

  “Just put the leftovers in the fridge,” her mom said as they set everything on the counter. “We’ll get to it tomorrow. Or whenever.”

  Her mother froze, her back to the room. She took a deep breath then reached for Jess and wrapped her in her arms. Jess held her tight and that knot in Tanner’s gut lodged in his throat. Finally, Terry let go and grabbed her bag. The whole thing got weirder and weirder. Her parents were leaving too?

  “So wait,” Jess said, clearly not yet understand,” she whispered h.t him ing the situation. “Where are you going?”

  “Out,” her mother said. “You know how your father I like to keep things interesting. We’re staying downtown at the Biltmore for the night.”

  “Terry…” Jay gave her a look loaded with meaning.

  “Okay,” she said, facing Jess again. “We thought—” Jay cleared his throat and Terry rolled her eyes. “I thought the two of you deserved a night alone, so I’m making your father leave. For the record, he’s not thrilled with the idea.” She paused. “But this isn’t about him, it’s about you.” She looked at Jess before her focus landed on him. “You won’t mind bringing her to the courthouse in the morning, will you, Tanner?”

  Mind? That was like asking a dolphin if he minded swimming in the ocean. “No, ma’am.”

  “Great.” Her eyes shone bright, as she hugged Jess again then headed for the door. “We’ll see you in the morning, honey.” Terry passed him, but paused. She faced him, smiled and wrapped her arms around his shoulders in a motherly hug before stepping back. “Goodnight.” She dragged Jay out with her, but not before he looked at Jess and then him. The eye contact was fleeting…a father wanting the best for his daughter.

  Was this for real? After months of quickies, they were leaving Jess alone with him for the whole night? Did they think this would be her last free night for the next eight to ten years? Was this their way of giving her a night to do whatever she wanted?

  The smell of pizza and chicken filled the room as Jess stared at him. The silence in the kitchen felt as uncomfortable as the silence in the stuffy room at the courthouse. Usually when they had a few minutes they were in each other’s arms in a heartbeat, but Jess busied herself by putting away two of the place settings, leaving two on the table.

  She didn’t look at him. Whether she wouldn’t or couldn’t, he didn’t know. She opened the fridge and shoved the salad and drinks inside. Something had her spooked and he wanted to know what it was. She closed the fridge and turned. Right into his chest. She didn’t look into his eyes, just stared off to the side, out the kitchen window. He placed his hands on the fridge, blocking her in. The air charged with their combined heat and energy.

  “What’s up?” he asked quietly. “Why are you avoiding me?”

  She still didn’t make eye contact.

  He finally had a chance to tell her how he felt without interruption. At least now he’d know whether he’d made a dent in her boundaries these last few months. Did she want him to stick around or not? Tonight was his last chance to find out. He wasn’t even sure where to start.

  Jess finally looked into his eyes and hers filled with emotion. For the first time in months he got the feeling that maybe she’d been fighting the same sentiment.

  “Do you know how many times I wanted to hold you no matter who was in the room?” He paused, let his words sink in. “But I was afraid if I did,,” she whispered Batay b your dad or mom or one of your brothers might toss me out and I couldn’t stand not being around you.” Her eyes filled with tears and Tanner felt a knot constrict his throat. “I want to be around
for the long haul. I want to be in your life—”

  “No!” she blurted, her eyes opened wide. She ducked and slid past him, only turning when she got to the edge of the kitchen. She pointed an unsteady finger at him. “If I…” go to prison tomorrow. She didn’t say the words, but Tanner heard them anyway. “If I’m not around after tomorrow, then you have to live your life. Go home. Go back to your family. But you may not wait for me,” she ordered. “You’ve already lost too many years.” Tears leaked from her eyes and Jess swiped at them fiercely. Tanner slowly walked toward her and she backed up the last two steps that brought her against the wall.

  “You can’t tell me what to do,” he told her softly.

  “Yes, I can,” she shot back. “I refuse to be the reason you put your life on hold. You have choices. You’re a free man.” She gestured out the kitchen window. “Go live your life, find s-someone and be happy.” She choked back a sob.

  “Don’t you see, Jess…” Tanner looked down at her, knew the emotion he felt radiated from his eyes. “I did find someone.” He took another step closer. “And I’ll do whatever it takes to be with her. Even if that means waiting.”

  Jess shook her head as two tears streaked down her face. “I couldn’t live with myself if I thought you were waiting.” She was a broken record stuck on the same line. Nothing had changed her mind all these months.