Morning Light

by Catherine Anderson

  The feeble flashlight beam blinked out just then, plunging her into total blackness. Loni froze in her tracks, her eyes aching as she struggled to see. Overhead only slivers of faint moonlight shone through the thick canopy of trees. She remembered reading somewhere that when a person got lost in the woods, the smartest thing to do was stay in one place and wait to be found. She was a little late in deciding on that course of action, but better now than never.

  Waving one hand in front of her and tapping the ground with her feet, she moved cautiously forward. When her palm finally met with rough bark, she turned her back to it and slid down the tree trunk to sit on the ground. This is better. She felt safer, anyway. She set the useless flashlight beside her, not wanting to lose it in case Mr. Harrigan had extra batteries.

  Huddling there in the blackness, listening to the pines creak and groan in the wind, Loni thought once again of poor little Trevor. With the thought came the bright flash of light that always preceded one of her visions. The next instant, she felt cold rocks all around her. The dank, musty smell of damp earth and rotting pine needles filled her nostrils. Nana lay curled around Trevor, her huge, furry body insulating him from the cold.

  Just as he had been earlier, Trevor was still in a small cave. Only where was it located? Loni listened for the river, but the only sounds she detected were the soft, rhythmic snores of the boy and dog, and the whishing of the pines swaying in the wind.

  Finally the vision winked out, much as the flashlight had, and despite all her efforts Loni could see nothing more. Tears flooded her eyes because a helpless little boy was lost—and now so was she.

  A branch snapped about twenty feet from her, the sound cracking in the darkness like a rifle shot. Loni almost parted company with her skin. She gulped and strained to hear. A bear, maybe? All she had to defend herself with was the flashlight. Why hadn’t she thought to find a long stick?

  “So there you are.”

  “Mr. Harrigan?” She sprang to her feet and peered through the inkiness, trying to locate him in the shadows. “Thank God you found me. I’ve been scared half to death.”

  She heard more twigs snapping. Then he suddenly emerged from the blackness, his pale blue shirt all she could make out at first. As he drew closer she was able to discern his outline, and then finally his face. His eyes glinted like flint striking steel.

  “Did your flashlight go dead, too?” she asked.

  “No.” His voice sounded strained. “I’ve been turning it on every few seconds to find your trail, then turning it off to save the batteries. What the hell were you thinking to wander off in the dark? And damn it, don’t you know to stop the minute you realize you’re lost? I’ve been tracking you for almost an hour. There are critters in these woods with very big teeth. Did you hear that cougar scream?”

  “No…yes. I guess maybe so. I heard a scream, anyway.” She just hadn’t known it was a large cat. “Is that how cougars sound?”

  “It’s how female cougars sound.”

  Loni couldn’t blame him for being angry. She’d given him a bad scare. She started to apologize, but he cut her off.

  “That cat is close, and she probably has kittens to feed. Do you know that a cougar can leap from a crouch as far as thirty feet, hitting its prey with such force that the spine snaps? It’s early June. Predators that survived the winter may be very hungry right now. One unarmed clairvoyant would make a tasty meal for that cat and her babies.”

  Loni forgot all about offering him an apology. “I thought you said there was plenty of wild game for predators to feed on at this time of year.”

  “Maybe there is; maybe there isn’t. It all depends on how hard a winter it was.”

  “How hard a winter was it? Didn’t Oregon get a lot of snow this year?”

  “These mountains always get a lot. You’ll be seeing it tomorrow. This early in the year it hasn’t all melted off.”

  “So you lied to me.”

  “I didn’t lie.” He picked up her flashlight and tucked it under his belt. “I just didn’t tell you the whole truth. You were upset about Trevor. I saw no point in worrying you even more by listing all the dangers he might encounter out here. For all I know, maybe there is plenty of game.”

  “Where I come from, failing to divulge the whole truth is the same as lying, Mr. Harrigan.”

  He gave her a hard look. “Call it however you see it, Ms. MacEwen. All I did was try to ease your mind.”

  He set off without glancing back to make sure she was following.

  “Wait!” she cried. “I don’t want to lose you.”

  “Then pick up your pace. It’s late, I’m tired, and it’s a long way back to camp.”

  Loni scrambled after him, but the darkness and the deadfall at her feet slowed her down, and soon she couldn’t see him.

  “Clint? Don’t leave me. I can’t find the way back by myself!”

  He reappeared so suddenly that she gave a startled squeak. His breath wafted over her face, warm, steamy, and smelling of wintergreen. After seeing him dip snuff, she couldn’t delude herself into thinking that he’d been sucking on breath mints.

  “What seems to be the major malfunction here?” he asked.

  “I can barely see my hand in front of my face. It’s dark, in case you haven’t noticed, and you have the flashlight.”

  “It isn’t that dark. Are you night-blind or something?”

  “I guess maybe so. I can’t see where I’m putting my feet.”

  “A night-blind psychic? Can you explain that to me?”

  A flare of temper turned Loni’s cheeks hot. “What’s to explain?”

  “It makes no sense. How can a person with second sight be night-blind?”

  “I don’t know. That’s just how it is.”

  He huffed under his breath. “If I find out this is all a hoax and you’ve dragged me out here on a wild-goose chase, I’m not going to be a happy camper. Do I make myself perfectly clear?”

  “Pretty clear. Now let me clarify something. This is not a hoax. What do you think, that I’m crazy? I’m cold, exhausted, and hungry. I’ve been walking for what seems like forever in someone else’s boots, which don’t fit me right, and now I have blisters on both heels. My butt is wet from sitting on the ground. I have bark and sticks in my hair, and slivers in my fingers. A hoax? If I wanted to lead you on a wild-goose chase, Mr. Harrigan, I’d do it at Macy’s with a latte from Starbucks in my hand!”

  “Macy’s?” he echoed in bewilderment.

  “Furthermore, I’m the unhappy camper. I didn’t want to come out here in the first place. It was you who insisted on it.”

  “A decision I’m already coming to regret. How can you help me find that child when you can’t walk a hundred yards from the truck without getting lost yourself?”

  “I never said I could help you find him!” Loni had grown so angry she was shaking. “I tried to tell you this isn’t how it works, that I can’t summon the visions at will. They just come—or they don’t. I have no control over them.”

  She pushed past him, stepped into a hole, and almost fell. After regaining her balance, she struck off again.

  “Where the hell do you think you’re going?”

  “Back to the truck. Once there I’m calling my sister and going home. This was a bad idea from the start.”

  “You’re heading the wrong way.”

  Loni stopped, knotted her hands into fists, and turned to peer at him through the gloom. “It’s the way you were going a minute ago.”

  “No, it’s not.” Was that laughter she heard in his voice? Flashlight now on, the beam pooling at his feet, he stood in the reflective glow, a thumb hooked over his belt, one hip cocked, one knee bent. With a swing of his head, he said, “I was going that way.”

  Correcting her course, Loni set off again.

  “Tree dead ahead!”

  She patted the air in front of her. “There isn’t a tree.”

  “Take three more steps and you’ll find it. Probably wit
h your nose.”

  She clenched her teeth and carefully inched forward.

  “Watch out for that log, too. I have enough to worry about without you falling and breaking your fool neck.”

  Loni drew to a stop. “Are all cowboys so charming?”

  “Are all greenies so entertaining? I could sell tickets.” He sauntered toward her. Coming to a halt less than an arm’s reach away, he turned off the light and said, “Listen to us, calling each other names like a couple of kids. I don’t know about you, but I’m thinking we need to back up and start over. You with me on that?”

  Loni wanted to smack him before she let go of her anger. How dared he suggest that this was all a hoax? “Certainly. You go first.”

  “With what?”

  “An apology.”

  He rubbed his jaw, then kicked at something she couldn’t see. “I was a little cranky.”

  “A little?”

  “Okay, a lot. I’m tired, worried about the trip, and you scared the ever-loving shit out of me. It’s not easy to track someone in the dark. I was afraid I might not find you.” He rubbed beside his nose this time. “And, quite frankly, I got pissed when you called me a liar.”

  “I didn’t call you a liar, precisely. I only said you lied to me about one thing.”

  “There’s a difference?”

  “Oh, I see. So it’s okay for you to call me a liar, but it’s not okay for me to return the favor?”

  “I never called you a liar.”

  “Did so.”

  “Did not.”

  “Did so.”

  “I did not!”

  “What was all that about this being a hoax and a wild-goose chase then?”

  “Oh, that.”

  “Yes, that.”

  He swept his hat from his head to whack it against his leg. His curly black hair glistened like polished jet in the faint moonlight. “I shouldn’t have said all that. It’s just hard for me, you know? I never had any call to believe in psychics until today, and I’m still struggling with it. You’re an oxymoron personified. Who ever heard of a night-blind clairvoyant? How is it you can see things I can’t, yet be as blind as a bat in the dark?”

  Loni folded her arms. “Is this how you always apologize?”

  “I’m not doing it to suit you?”

  “You might try saying, ‘I’m sorry I acted like a jerk.’”

  He settled his hat back on his head. “Okay, fine. I acted like a jerk. Does that satisfy you?”

  Loni bit back a smile. “I’m getting it. You can’t say you’re sorry, can you?”

  “Sure I can.”

  “Then say it.”

  He gazed off for a moment.

  “It’s really easy. Repeat after me. ‘I’m sorry.’”

  He sighed and kicked something again. “Okay, fine. If that’s all that’ll satisfy you, I apologize.”

  She couldn’t help herself and laughed. “You still didn’t say it. Come on, a big, rugged fellow like you should be able to spit out two little words.”

  She heard the hollow plunk of his throat as he swallowed. “Fine. I’m sorry.” The words sounded clipped and forced. “I was out of line to accuse you of leading me on a wild-goose chase. And I shouldn’t have chewed you out for getting lost.”

  It was Loni’s turn to sigh, and with the release of breath, all her anger left her as well. “I’m sorry, too. It was kind of you to try to ease my mind about Trevor, and I shouldn’t have gotten mad about it. There’s nothing I can do for him, after all.” It was her turn to nudge invisible things around on the ground with the toe of her boot. “And now I’m worried. Really worried. I’m fairly certain he’s no longer near the river.”

  “He’s not?”

  “No, he’s still in a cave—a really small one compared to the one last night, so maybe it’s only a narrow fissure in the rocks. I think it goes in pretty far, though. I couldn’t see anything, not even a bit of starlight.”

  “Why am I not surprised?”

  She decided to let that pass. “Anyway, when I listened I couldn’t hear the river.”

  “Shit. If he’d follow the river, it would eventually lead him to the highway.”

  “Would it? Hmm. The next time I get lost I’ll remember that.”

  He chuckled. Then he sobered. “I really am sorry I accused you of being a fake. A night-blind psychic. It blew my mind away.”

  “And I’m sorry I wandered off. One minute the truck was right there, and the next it was gone. I thought I knew the way back, only I didn’t.”

  “How bad are the blisters?”

  “Pretty bad.”

  He stepped in close and took hold of her arm. “Let’s go to camp. I’ve got some goop that’ll fix you right up, and tomorrow, thank God, you’ll be riding, not walking.”

  “I never thought I’d say it, but riding sounds really, really good all of a sudden.”

  They set out and had been walking quite some time when Loni felt compelled to bring up their argument again.

  “I need to clarify some things,” she said. “My second sight isn’t a physical ability. I’m not even sure it’s a mental ability. It’s more like having a receiver inside my head, something over which I have no control. I can’t summon a vision. In fact, they mostly take me by surprise. And I honestly think I could be stone blind and still see. Does that make any sense?”

  “No,” he replied. Then, as if to take the sting out of his answer, he smiled at her. “Very little of this makes sense to me.”

  That was fair, Loni decided, and also honest. Instead of feeling offended, she appreciated his candor. At least she knew exactly where she stood with him.

  “What’s it like?” he asked suddenly. “Having a vision, I mean.”

  “Sort of like watching a movie, only not. More like virtual reality, actually. I’m in the vision. I can feel, taste, smell, and hear things. I’m there, only not.”

  “That must be spooky as hell.”

  “Sometimes.”

  “Tree.” He drew her sharply to the left. “How long have you been clairvoyant?”

  “All my life.” With her free hand she rubbed the nape of her neck, where her scarlet birthmark was hidden beneath her hair. “In my grandmother’s family, one female child is born with the gift in every generation. It skipped my older sister, Deirdre, and I got it instead.”

  “You don’t sound too happy about it.” He pulled her sharply to the right. “Fallen log. Don’t trip.”

  Though Loni’s eyes burned with the attempt, she couldn’t see the obstacle. “I’m not happy about it,” she confessed. “As I told you earlier tonight, it isn’t always fun.”

  “If it happens in every generation, there must be others in your family.”

  “My mother and grandmother,” she replied. “Only their abilities aren’t as strong as mine.”

  “How’s that?”

  Loni stepped into a hole and would have fallen if not for his steely grip on her arm. “Ouch!”

  “What? Did you twist your ankle?”

  “No, I bit the tip of my tongue.” She pressed the throbbing end against her teeth to ease the sting. “Where were we?”

  “You were going to explain how your gift is stronger than your mother’s and grandmother’s.”

  “Oh. Every few generations one of us is born with several abilities instead of just one.”

  “Several? I’m not following.”

  As much as Loni detested the use of psychic terms, there were times when they came in handy. “The word psychic is a blanket term to describe an individual with some form of ESP. There are clairvoyants, clairaudients, telepaths, those with telekinetic abilities, psychometrists, mediums, channelers, and diviners. But only a rare few have multiple abilities.”

  “And you’re one of them?”

  “Yes.”

  “Hmm. What abilities do you have?”

  “It’s simpler to list what abilities I don’t have. I can’t move objects with my mind, and I don’t communicate wi
th the spirit world in any way. I’m also a total loss at map divination.”

  “Map what?”

  “Some psychics can locate missing persons by studying a map, commonly referred to as map witching.”

  “But you can read minds?”

  Loni tensed, for this was when most men ran in the other direction. “Yes, to a degree. In visions I’m often able to pick up on someone’s thoughts, but mostly I’m just empathic, picking up on physical sensations and emotions.”

  He pushed his hat back to give her a long look. “If you tried, could you read my mind?”

  Loni shook her head. “It only happens in visions—which sometimes occur when someone touches me, like yesterday at the supermarket when we bumped heads. And then I only saw the rafting accident, my focus mainly on Trevor.”

  “Mainly?”

  “I somehow picked up on your name,” she revealed. “That’s never happened before that I can remember.” A wave of sadness washed over her as she recalled another time when she might have saved a young woman’s life if only she’d received that kind of information. “Trevor’s name came to me as well—along with the dog’s and Sandra’s. Only I didn’t get their surname like I did with you.”

  “So that’s how you found me last night, because you learned my name when I touched you?”

  Loni nodded. Then, glancing up at him, she said, “You think I’m totally crazy, don’t you?”

  Clint wasn’t sure what he thought. He knew only that believing in her story came hard for him. “No, I don’t think you’re crazy.” Inventive seemed a better word, but for the sake of their mission to find Trevor Stiles, he decided to keep that opinion to himself. “I’m just sorting my way through as best I can.”

  “And trying to believe me?” she offered.

  “Tree,” he muttered.

  She stumbled against him as he changed course, her smaller and much softer body bumping full-length against his. Upon impact he heard her breath rush from her lungs.