Love and Decay: Revolution Episode Ten (Love and Decay: Revolution #10)

by Rachel Higginson

  Him as in Vaughan.

  My heart dropped to my toes where I trampled it with grief and stupidity and sorrow for my friend and myself. “Ty—”

  “Let’s go,” she ordered. “I’m hungry.”

  But I knew she wasn’t. And now neither was I.

  We walked the rest of the way in silence, each of us retreating to our pain and defenses and the hardness we had built like walls around our hearts so that we could survive this ugly world.

  We found my family in the cafeteria, one of the few places here in the Underground that was what it claimed to be. My family sat clustered around a long table, children climbing beneath to change places or pounding the top with chubby fingers.

  I paused in the doorway, my heart skipping with warmth for these people I loved more than anything. Thinking about Vaughan had erased my stubborn feelings of isolation and annoyance. Now I just saw people that loved me fiercely, that would do anything to protect me, that would leave peace and comfort and relative safety to follow me across continents and fight a war they wanted nothing to do with.

  Reagan clung to Hendrix’s arm as she laid her head on his shoulder and watched their children be silly. Haley’s head tipped back as she laughed at something Nelson said while she held Halen on her lap. King and Harrison were goofing around, showing off for Joss and Adela. Santi and the others sat a table down. Diego and his men sat one over. Shay, Fang and Oliver brushed by me on their way inside, talking in serious tones about their latest work thanks to my freshly infected blood.

  Tyler left my side to join Miller in the center of it all. He leaned forward on the table, resting on his elbows. His attention turned to his sister as she sat down, his expression instantly concerned as he noted the leftover agony in her eyes. He reached across the table and took her hand in his, his corded muscles flexing with the movement.

  I stood there for another minute understanding Luke’s point of view reluctantly. He didn’t trust us. He didn’t want us taking over his operation. He didn’t want us running wild and stirring up his carefully balanced ecosystem.

  But we weren’t idle spectators. We wouldn’t let this war be fought without us.

  I’d brought my family across continents, across worlds, for one purpose—to kill Matthias Allen. And that’s what we were going to do.

  We were an army.

  We were a weapon.

  We were the future of this country.

  Watching them now, I believed that more than ever before.

  Hendrix caught my eye and jerked his chin in a gesture for me to join them. I pushed off the wall and took my place squeezed between Haley and Miller.

  “You okay?” Hendrix asked just as Miller’s arm wrapped around my shoulder.

  “I’m good,” I told him. “Just thinking.”

  My brother’s eyebrows drew down in concern. “About anything important?”

  I loosed a smile, feeling more confident than I had in weeks. “About how badass my family is.”

  Hendrix continued to stare at me perplexed, but Harrison let out a loud whoop. I felt the attention of the room shift to us. Luke’s people weren’t just paranoid, they were nervous. They were scared.

  Of us.

  And maybe they should be.

  “Hungry?” Reagan asked, ignoring the quiet of the rest of the room.

  “I am.”

  She winked at me. “I’ll make you and Tyler a plate.”

  “Thank you,” I told her back as she jumped up to put a dinner plate together for me.

  Once she was gone, Hendrix leaned in and dropped his voice. “I think something’s going down.”

  I fixed my gaze on him, forcing myself to keep from finding Luke. His warning whispered over my skin, pulling goose bumps up. “Like what?”

  “They’re planning something,” Hendrix continued. “We think they’re going to the surface.”

  I waited for the big reveal. It didn’t come. “And?”

  Nelson leaned past Haley. “And it’s the first time they’ve done anything like this since we’ve been here.”

  Anticipation prickled and curled in my gut. “Do you think they’re going to put down the horde that’s still topside?”

  Hendrix shrugged. “Maybe.”

  Miller leaned closer, letting his lips skim over the shell of my ear. “We want in, Page. Whatever they’re doing, we want to go.”

  I sat back, stunned. “All of you.”

  Hendrix tilted his head down the table towards Harrison and King. “Not all of us. Just enough that we can keep an eye on them.”

  “On Luke?”

  Hendrix nodded. “All of them.”

  Reagan returned with two plates of food, baked beans, meat of some kind and a hunk of flat bread. I tore off a piece of bread and dipped it in the beans. “So what’s the plan?”

  Tyler leaned in. “If we sneak out and follow them, how do you think they’ll react if we get caught.”

  You’ll be executed. Luke’s warning screamed through my head. “Not well,” I admitted.

  “Then you’re going to have to talk to him,” Reagan said as if she’d been a part of the conversation the whole time. “You’re the only person he’ll even pretend to listen to.”

  “I’m not sure that’s true,” I replied around a bite of mystery meat. “He’s…”

  “An asshole?” King mumbled.

  “Out of his damn mind?” Harrison added.

  “Stupid,” Miller threw in.

  I suppressed a smile. “Paranoid. He’s highly paranoid.” When my family started murmuring their stronger opinions, I quickly brought the conversation back together. “I’ll talk to him. I can’t guarantee that he’ll listen. But I’ll do my best.”

  Hendrix tapped the table in front of me. “Thanks, Page.”

  “But I’m going.” At least eight pairs of eyes snapped my direction. “If I’m talking to him, then I’m going.”

  “You’re not,” Reagan argued.

  “Absolutely not,” Haley added.

  I lifted a casual shoulder. “Those are my terms.”

  Miller’s fingers dug into my shoulder at the same time Hendrix said, “You can’t blackmail us with your health, Page. It’s out of the question.”

  “Miller will keep me safe. And Harrison and King. But I’m going.”

  “The last time you gave us this argument, you ended up burning down an entire settlement and getting bitten by a Feeder. It’s time to rethink your life plan, little girl.” Reagan’s sharp words stung. She settled against Hendrix and slammed her arms across her chest. “I’m serious, Page. You need to be smarter about this. You’re not even fully recovered from the infection yet.”

  “Which is exactly why I need to go.”

  “What does that mean—” Hendrix started to ask, but before he could finish his thought, Luke walked into the room, followed by several of his people. They were all familiar by now, but I could never remember their names.

  I shoved a big bite of bread into my mouth and jumped up from my seat. “Duty calls.”

  My family called after me in strangled whispers, but I ignored them. “Hey, Luke,” I greeted when I was close enough not to make a scene.

  He looked up at me, vaguely surprised. “Page?”

  I glanced at his nameless friends that had followed him into the cafeteria. “Can we talk?”

  His serious gaze moved around the room before finding mine again. “Okay. In the hall?”

  Turning on what little charm I had, I gave him a half smile. “That would be great.”

  He followed me out to the corridor and down a ways so we couldn’t be heard from inside the cafeteria. The wide hallway was mostly empty and felt expansive after the cluttered chaos inside. I sucked in a deep breath, not realizing how restricted I’d started to feel until I had space.

  “Is everything all right?” Luke asked in a low, measured voice.

  My gaze involuntarily swept over him. His skin was tanner than mine, and I wondered if he’d been up to the su
rface more times than we knew about. His flannel shirt was rolled at the forearms and well weathered. His jeans had been patched in a couple of places too. But he looked healthy. Hard and humorless and driven maybe, but also healthy.

  Forcing my eyes back to his, I confessed, “We know you’re going to the surface soon. We know something’s up.”

  His jaw flexed once, the only indication that I was right. “We go up to the surface often. Multiple times a day. I don’t know how that affects you or why we needed a confidential meeting to talk about it.”

  “Come on, Luke. Don’t play coy,” I teased lightly, hoping to lull him into a sense of trust. Unfortunately, I couldn’t keep it up. “There’s more to it than that. You’re planning something. We want to know what it is. Zombies? Colony? We have a right to know what’s going on.”

  His mouth pulled to one side, and he made a clicking sound. “See? That’s where you’re wrong. You don’t have a right to know. You’re guests here, Page. That should be enough for you.”

  Annoyed with his high and mighty attitude, I resisted the urge to growl. “And yet it’s not. We’re more than guests here, Luke. We’re here to help you. Like you asked. In your letters. When you begged for us to come back and help you win this war. So unless you start including us in your little schemes and machinations, we’re going to take our assistance elsewhere.”

  “Where else would you go?” he scoffed. “Page, the last time I let you help, you set an entire settlement on fire.”

  I threw my hands up. “Why does everyone keep bringing that up?”

  “And you got bitten!” Luke added.

  “I saved a man’s life!” God, I was so sick and tired of this argument that made people want to lock me up. I was a fighter, damn it. I belonged in battle. “A man that you were happy to let die by the way.”

  Luke lunged forward a step, bringing us nose to nose. I inhaled him accidentally, soap and oranges and man. “You nearly got us all killed! Let’s not for one second pretend you risked your life for the good of mankind. You’re not a hero, Page. You’re a selfish, spoiled brat that doesn’t want dirt on her hands.”

  I jabbed him in the shoulder with my finger, unafraid of this man that was twice my size. “Wrong! I don’t want blood on my conscience! Forgive me for giving a damn!”

  Luke growled, stepping back and grabbing a fistful of his own hair. “You should know better by now. It’s ridiculous that you still think you can save everybody!”

  Movement caught my eye. Miller, Harrison and Hendrix stepped out from the cafeteria. “How you doing, Page?” Hendrix asked.

  My cheeks flushed with embarrassment. “Great,” I hollered back at them, throwing a thumb’s up for good measure. “I’m fantastic.”

  I felt my brother’s disbelief roll down the hallway. Miller looked like he wanted to strangle Luke with his bare hands. I ignored all of them. That didn’t stop Miller from asking, “Need some help?”

  Dropping my hand back to my hip, I shook my head. “Nope. I got this.”

  “Luke?” Harrison asked. “How ‘bout you? Do you need some help?”

  Luke’s expression would have been comical under different circumstances. “Pretty sure I can handle your sister, Parker.”

  “That’s your first mistake!” Harrison shouted while Hendrix pushed him back inside the cafeteria. Miller stood there for a few seconds longer, clearly undecided on what to do. Eventually, a hand reached back out, grabbed Miller’s shirt collar and tugged him out of sight.

  Working to steady my breathing, I tried a different approach. “I didn’t come out here to fight with you, Luke. I’m going to say this one more time, we’re here to help. You should let us.”

  He stood there for a long, drawn out minute, watching me. I could see his wheels turning, calculation rolling through his expression. I wanted him to agree with me, but suddenly I felt like I’d walked into a trap that I hadn’t known was waiting for me. “I could use help,” he admitted. “What I don’t need is a girl that thinks she’s a superhero getting in the way of every mission.”

  I bit back my pride, raising my hands in surrender instead. “Got it. No unnecessary rescues. I can do that.”

  “No rescues whatsoever,” he countered. “We’re going to the capital. The very last thing we need is attention.”

  “The capital?”

  “But we could use some extra guns. The trip isn’t easy.”

  I nodded enthusiastically. “Guns we can do.”

  “I suppose your brothers want to come too?”

  “And Miller,” I added. “Probably also Tyler and Joss. If you need them, Santi and the other Colombians would like to stretch their legs. And I know Diego is dying to kill something.”

  “You want me to take the Allen children into the capital accompanied by a street gang from Colombia and the king of Mexico? Are you serious?”

  I held his gaze, not backing down, although when he put it like that, I did see his point. “I don’t see a problem.”

  Luke ran a hand over his head, making a guttural sound in the back of his throat. “Inconspicuous, Page. We’re not trying to declare war on the Colony. We’re just trying to survive the trip.”

  That was his whole damn problem. We absolutely should have been declaring war on the capital, on the Colony, on Matthias Allen and his whole sick regime.

  But I didn’t say that out loud. There was a time for rebellion. There would be a time for war. This would be a great time to feel everything out, see how bad things truly were under Matthias’s control.

  “Harrison, King, Miller, Tyler, Joss and me. That’s it then.”

  “You and your brothers. That’s all.”

  “Joss is not a Mexican, but she fights like one. You need her. And if you want intelligence, who better than Matthias’ own kids? They have a right to see what their father has done. And they have the perception to see things you don’t.”

  “No.”

  “They’re going,” I argued. “Besides, are you planning to run into Matthias? Who but him could identify them.”

  “Goddamn, Page.” He scrubbed his hands over his face, clearly frustrated. “You’re crazy. You know that?”

  I tried not to smile. “I’m aware.”

  Luke’s shoulders softened. “Fine. Yeah, sure, we’ll take the Allens into the capital. What could possibly go wrong?”

  “You’re not going to regret it,” I promised him.

  He glared at me. “Oh, I already do.”

  “When do you leave?”

  “Tonight. Once it’s dark. I’ll send someone to find you, but be ready. Armor up with what you have. We have guns and ammo.”

  “Thanks, Luke. This will go a long way with my family.”

  He stared at me for a long moment, absorbing all those things I hadn’t said and hadn’t meant for him to see in my expression. “You sure you’re up for this?”

  I rolled my shoulders and ignored the hollow feeling in my gut, the buzzing in the back of my head that never quite went away. I ignored the claws I felt under my fingernails, the acid dripping down the back of my throat, the hallucinations I couldn’t shake. “You mean because of the infection? I’m good. Seriously, I’m completely back to normal. But it will be good to get some fresh air. I don’t know how you guys stay down here for so long. My people are getting stir-crazy.”

  “It’s amazing what people will endure to stay alive,” Luke replied. “The surface isn’t a viable option right now. We’re safe down here. Hidden.”

  “In Colombia, we managed to keep most of the city clean of Feeders. We lived in this research station that was heavily guarded, but the rest of the survivors rebuilt neighborhoods. We patrolled. We stayed vigilant. But we lived mostly free.”

  His shoulders stiffened, and that muscle started ticking in his cheek again. “This isn’t Colombia, Page. And Feeders aren’t our only enemy. We do what we must to stay alive.”

  I hadn’t meant to piss him off again. I had been trying to offer hope. “Got it.”
I touched two fingers to my forehead in a smartass salute and stalked off down the hallway.

  “Be ready,” he called after me.

  “I wouldn’t dream of being anything else,” I bit back.

  When I turned into the cafeteria, my people stopped talking and immediately looked at me. Even the Mexicans and Colombians stilled.

  “Well?” King prompted.

  A grin broke free on my face, and I lifted my hands in victory. “We’re in!”

  Three tables erupted in whoops and hollers of excitement. I held Miller’s impressed gaze. “You’re welcome,” I told them. His lips lifted in a genuine smile and my belly flipped at the sight. He leaned back, crossing his arms over his expansive chest. He nodded once, conceding to my superior skills.

  How did they ever get anything done without me?

  Chapter Two

  Several hours later, I sat between Miller’s legs in the back of a pickup truck. The cold night air whipped around us, stinging my nose and pulling my hair from my braid.

  The nights had gotten colder, and I had gotten weaker. I leaned into Miller as close as I could, greedily stealing body heat from him.

  He didn’t hold back. His arms wrapped around me, holding me tightly to him. His chin rested on my shoulder, and every few minutes he would press a kiss to my neck or nuzzle his scruffy jaw against my face.

  Miller wasn’t thrilled that I was on this mission, but like hell he was going to go without me. It didn’t take long for me to convince my family that there was literally nothing that could keep me from going. I promised to be safe and take it easy and not burn down any more settlements. But that was more for their sake than mine.

  If I got the opportunity to burn down Matthias’s capital, chances were I was going to take it.

  I mean… obviously.

  Still, I knew the risks. I was in no hurry to get bitten again. And that was the argument that finally won them over. For as reckless and rash as they thought I was, they at least believed me there.

  Never again.

  Never, ever, ever again.

  I stared at Diego huddled in the corner near the cab. His long knees were pulled to his chest, and his hands were wrapped casually around them, in a position that seemed a bit shocking considering his reputation. But he somehow managed to look aloof and unaffected, despite the temperature and aggressive wind.