Murder Welcomes You to Buxley

by Maddie Cochere

  I waited several minutes before walking up the sidewalk and quickly moving to the side of the house. The blinds were drawn at the first window, but they were open at the second. I slowly lifted my head to peek in. It was the dining room, and George and his girlfriend weren’t in sight. They had probably gone upstairs to the bedroom already.

  I crept around to the back of the house and up the steps leading to a small deck off the back door. Curtains at the window had been tied back. I peeked into the kitchen. They weren’t in here either.

  I stepped out into the yard and looked at the upstairs windows. The blinds were open in both. A flower trellis ran up the back of the house to just below one of the windows. I was pondering whether or not it would hold my weight when the back door opened. George stepped out onto the porch.

  “Donkey butts,” I whispered under my breath.

  “Jo? What are you doing here?” George asked.

  “I didn’t want to disturb you,” I said with a smile. “I’ve had my eye on this place for a while now. I drive by every now and then, and I saw you go in with a client, so I thought it would be ok to take a quick look around the property. Flowers on the trellis in spring would be pretty, wouldn’t they? Sorry for the interruption. I’ll let you get back to your business.”

  Could I have been any more lame? It was all I could do to keep from bursting into laughter. I had to be the worst private investigator on the planet.

  My cheerfulness and exuberance must have worked, because he was all business and happy to show me around.

  “Wonderful!” he said. “Come on in.”

  He held the door open, and I walked in expecting to be introduced to his pretend client. You don’t greet clients the way he greeted this one.

  The woman was pretty and much younger than he was. I guessed her to be in her early twenties. That would be about right. These mid-fifties guys liked their girlfriends young.

  “Jo, you have some stiff competition for this place,” George said. “Kinsey, this is Jo Ravens. She’s a private investigator.”

  She smiled and reached out to shake my hand. “I’ve read about you in the newspaper. You have a penchant for finding the bodies, don’t you?”

  “I guess I do,” I said.

  “I’m Kinsey Graham,” she said.

  “Graham?”

  George put his arm around her. “Yes, Graham. Kinsey’s my daughter. She’s getting married in June, and she and her future husband are looking at houses.”

  His daughter. That explained the affectionate hug. I almost burst into laughter again. Arnie kept telling me that my overactive imagination was going to get me into trouble one of these days.

  “Congratulations to you both,” I said.

  George took us on the grand tour. It was a nice house, but I liked mine better. This house didn’t have a suitable extra room that could be used for a murder room.

  I thanked George for his time, wished Kinsey well in her marriage, and hurried to my car. I drove back down the road and parked on a side street to wait for George to drive by.

  He passed a few minutes later. I followed him back to his office. Once again, I parked at the convenience store. I figured he would be a while, so I ran in to get another cappuccino. I couldn’t believe it when I walked out the door and saw George pulling out onto the street. I was much more careful this time as I bolted for my car. That’s why I couldn’t help myself when I yelled, “shit” as the very same ice patch took me down again and stole my cappuccino. Two boys on the sidewalk pointed and doubled over with laughter.

  I jumped to my feet and ran to my car. The drill was the same as before. He drove into a subdivision, pulled up to a house with one of his signs in the yard, and waited for his client. This time it was a family with two children.

  I didn’t wait around to be caught again. It was getting late in the day, and if George had a rendezvous planned for later in the evening, it was going to have to be without me. I turned the car around and went home. I had my own rendezvous to look forward to.

  When Glenn arrived a couple hours later, a pizza was waiting on the coffee table. I grabbed a couple of beers out of my overstuffed chair with the refrigerator in its side and handed one to him.

  “I hope you don’t mind plain cheese tonight,” I said.

  He took the beer in one hand and slid his other around my waist to pull me close for a kiss. “It’s perfect,” he said. “Just like you.”

  “There’s nothing perfect about me,” I said as we settled onto the sofa to eat. “You should have seen me today. I got caught by the man I was surveilling, and I fell twice on the same patch of ice. Yesterday, I took Keith with me to Patterson, and when I wasn’t watching, I thought someone abducted him.”

  “I heard about that,” he said with a smile.

  My mouth fell open. “Who told you?”

  “Aunt Bee. I saw her when I stopped at Chummy’s for a sandwich before my shift last night. She filled me in on the latest town gossip. The biggie is that Rita has a new guy at the bed and breakfast. The ladies are all twitterpated about him. Strange situation though. The guy’s wife is staying at the hotel out by the interstate.”

  “Are they both blonde? Good looking model types?”

  “That’s what I hear. Do you know them?”

  “No. I saw them in the flea market. She has black eyes. I thought maybe the husband was beating her, but Arnie said she was in an accident in Hapsburg yesterday.”

  He nodded and grabbed a second slice of pizza. “Black eyes, huh? It must have been her working at that new weight loss place behind the hospital. I had a call there today to handle a domestic, and she was there. I think she was the one who called in the fight between the manager and her boyfriend. He was accusing her of stealing his phone. It was that obnoxious Duck guy from Pepper’s Halloween party. He broke up with her on the spot.”

  “I remember him. He was one of the truck drivers Buck invited. He tried to goad you into a fight, but you handled him really well. Pepper and I are going to that weight loss place tomorrow night, so I guess I’ll see the blonde again.”

  “They’re driving a sweet, sixties Chevy Chevelle. He’s parking it on the street two blocks up from Rita’s. It stands out. I can’t imagine having a classic like that out in weather like this.”

  “Speaking of cars, I’ve got a new case. Curt Hendershot had his car stolen over in Patterson Sunday night. He hired me to find it for him.”

  “You’ll never find it.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “Because they’re gone in a flash. People don’t steal cars and take them home. They don’t put them in their garages and drive them around. They’re repainted, stolen plates are put on, and they’re used to run drugs. Or they’re taken to chop shops for parts. Sometimes we run a plate, and it comes back as a stolen vehicle, but that happens more on television and in the movies than in real life.”

  “So I shouldn’t have taken the case?”

  “Probably not. But it’s Curt Hendershot, and he can afford you for a week or two. What are you doing to find the car, besides losing Keith?” he asked with a smile.

  I jabbed an elbow into his side. “He wasn’t lost. He was running after Johnny Wyler – or so he thinks he was.”

  “Johnny Wyler isn’t a missing person. He’s eighteen, and he left home just like a million other kids in America.”

  “Maybe. But something doesn’t feel right with him, and I promised his mother I’d find him, so I will.”

  He smiled. He knew it was useless to dissuade me from following through on any of my cases no matter how hopeless, trivial, or even dire they seemed.

  “I’m going back over to Patterson tomorrow,” I said. “I want to ask around and see if anyone working at the plaza Sunday night saw anything when Curt’s car was stolen. And I thought I’d show Johnny’s picture around where Keith thinks he saw him.”

  “Dress warm,” he said. “Knocking on doors gets miserable real fast when you’re freezing your keist
er off.”

  Chapter Six

  Sleep. Blissful sleep.

  No one pounded on my front door this morning, and I was able to sleep in and catch up with some much needed sleep. I woke up feeling refreshed, ready to take on the day, and solve all my cases. It was an ambitious goal, but I felt like nothing could go wrong today, and everything I touched would turn to gold.

  Of course, the feeling could have been from the last half hour Glenn spent with me before going into work last night. He was plenty warm when he walked out into the bitterly cold night.

  After a shower and a cup of coffee, I stopped in to see Arnie before heading over to Patterson for the day.

  “Something good is going to happen today, Arnie. I’ve got a tingly feeling. Maybe I’ll find both Johnny Wyler and Curt Hendershot’s car while I’m in Patterson.”

  “That tingly feeling is a pinched nerve from falling yesterday.”

  I thought about asking him how he knew I had fallen, but no tidbit of gossip was safe from the Buxley grapevine. It was a wonder anyone could have an affair in this town.

  “The wind is coming in from the northeast,” he said. “Nothing good is going to happen today. Mark my words.” He raised a questioning eyebrow. “You followin’ George Graham tonight?”

  “Not tonight. Pepper’s going with me to follow him tomorrow. I promised her I’d check out that new weight loss place up by the hospital tonight. I guess the blonde with the black eyes that was in here is working up there.”

  “Susan Hunter,” he said. “Susan Raines now that she’s married. That one is a world of trouble. You stay away from her. I suggest canceling with Pepper tonight.”

  “Why do you say that?”

  “She’s cursed. I don’t know if she’s too ditzy to know any better or if trouble follows her around, but she’s been mixed up in some crazy shit. Remember those jewel thieves arrested up in Carbide City a few years back? That was her mess. She was wrapped up in a murder in Nevada, and she tried her hand at messing with illegal gunrunners in New Orleans. There’s more, but I don’t have all day to tell you about that crazy dame. Stay away from her. I’m serious.”

  I smiled. He had all day to tell me anything he wanted. “I’ll take my chances,” I said.

  He looked disgusted and shook his head.

  “I’m sure I’ll have a lovely visit with her tonight, and if Pepper has her way, I’ll be on a new diet tomorrow.”

  ~ ~ ~

  “You expect me to keep a food diary?” I asked incredulously.

  I was not a happy camper. Pepper was in love with this place, but the thought of writing down everything I ate was over the line for me.

  It didn’t help that nothing had gone right in Patterson today. No one had seen anything the night Curt’s car was stolen. The plaza security guard allowed me to look through the tapes from that night, but neither of us could spot Curt’s vehicle coming or going. I asked at a dozen places about Johnny, but no one had seen him. The triple strike came when my efforts to locate Will Foster came up empty. I came home late, tired, and hungry. There wasn’t time to grab a bite to eat before Pepper was throwing a fit that if we didn’t leave right away, the weight loss place would be closed when we got there.

  When I saw the building was the same one where we went to have machines shake our fat away, I knew this wouldn’t go well.

  “It’s not the same building,” Pepper insisted. “They tore the old building down and built this new one.”

  The parking lot was full. Pepper drove around and parked in the alley behind the building. The brutal wind and freezing cold cut straight through me as we walked around to the front. I didn’t think I would ever be warm again.

  Now here we were, sitting with Susan Hunter-Raines, and learning about this newest scheme to take more of my money. Pepper was practically salivating over Susan and the program. Every time I had an objection, one of them had a quick comeback to overcome it. The latest was the food diary.

  “It’s helpful if you write everything down,” Susan said. “You might think your weight loss has slowed, or that you’ve reached a plateau, but it might be something as simple as adding sweet corn to your diet when it comes into season. Corn is higher in carbohydrates than other vegetables and could slow weight loss.”

  “Are you telling me I can’t have corn on the cob on this diet?” Everything was irritating me now.

  “No,” she said with a smile. “You can have corn in moderation, but until you reach your goal weight, we suggest you limit how often you have it.”

  “Since when do you eat corn on the cob?” Pepper asked. “I haven’t seen you eat it since you were a kid.” She looked at Susan and said, “It gets packed in her teeth. I’ve never seen anything like it. Mama says her teeth are an enigma when it comes to corn on the cob.”

  “Pepper, shut up,” I said. She didn’t need to be telling strangers about our family enigmas.

  Susan’s eyes went a little wide at my words, but Pepper laughed. “C’mon,” she begged. “This is the only thing we haven’t tried yet. It looks so easy, and I think it will work for me. I want to do this.”

  I looked at Susan and asked, “Would you give us a minute?”

  “Of course. Take your time.”

  She stood from her chair and left the room.

  “I don’t see myself doing this,” I said. “I know I won’t show up for weigh-ins or consultations. The last thing I’m going to do is keep a food diary.”

  “I don’t think that matters,” Pepper said. “You’ll benefit from their menu plans and food suggestions. You can come over and eat at my place more often, too, since I’ll be cooking the food we need to be eating.”

  That was a tempting idea. I had been through Chummy’s drive thru more often lately, and it was only a matter of time before my weight loss made a u-turn and started creeping back up. Having Pepper do some of the cooking for me was a plus.

  A cell phone rang in the office across the hall. We heard one of the employees answer it and ask, “What are you doing here? … You know I’m busy. … Give me a second. … I’ll be right out.”

  She sounded frazzled. A few seconds later, she rushed past our doorway. We heard the back door open and close, and I wondered if she was the girl Glenn told me about who had the fight with Duck yesterday. I couldn’t believe she ran out without her coat. Even just a minute or two in this weather was dangerous.

  I took several minutes to look over the brochures and the contract Susan left on the table. I finally gave in. “All right, Pepper, but this is the last time I’m paying to lose weight. If I can’t do it with someone telling me exactly what to eat, I’ll never do it.”

  She made little squeaky mouse noises and clapped her hands. I rolled my eyes, stood to grab my coat, and held out my hand for her car keys. I had deliberately left my purse in her car, so I wouldn’t be tempted to make an impulse buy. As cranky as my mood was, I could see where this was more up my alley than anything else Pepper and I had tried.

  “Do you think I could use the back door that employee just used?” I asked.

  “I don’t see why not,” Pepper said. “An alarm didn’t go off. If Susan comes back, I’ll tell her you went out for your purse.”

  Pepper began her own scrutiny of the contract. I looked up and down the hallway to be sure no one would yell at me for opening the back door, and I dashed out.

  The cold wind took my breath away. My neck scarf was on the kitchen counter at home, and I was paying for forgetting it now as I rushed to my car. I tried to pull my coat collar up over my nose and mouth, but it didn’t reach.

  The employee who had come outside was gone. Someone must have been waiting to give her a ride, but why would she leave without her coat and purse? I’d ask Susan about her when I went back inside.

  I unlocked the car and tugged my purse from where I had stuffed it under the front seat. I slammed the car door shut and turned to walk back down the alley. My heart sank when I saw the girl leaning against the side of t
he dumpster. She must be nearly frozen to death by now.

  As I rushed over to her, it became clear she was already dead. Rather than sitting down and leaning against the dumpster, it appeared she had fallen back against it. Her head was tilted back and to the side. Ugly marks on her neck were visible under the bright security light directly above her.

  I went back to Pepper’s car and called the police station. Glenn wasn’t on duty yet, and I didn’t want to talk to a 911 operator. I asked for Sergeant Rorski. He came on the line right away.

  “Ravens,” he bellowed. “I’m just going out the door. The wife’s got a Scotch waiting for me. This better not be something to drag me out into this godforsaken night.”

  “Sorry, Sarge,” I said. “This one’s been strangled in an alley and it’s colder than a witch’s boobie out here.”

  He slammed the phone down mid-expletive.

  I knew better than to disturb the crime scene. I stayed in the car and started the engine to run the heater.

  I didn’t want to go back into the weight loss center just yet. Pepper would know right away something was wrong, and I didn’t want her to come outside before the police arrived. With homeschooling the kids, she didn’t have time to be a witness in a murder trial right now.

  I called Glenn.

  “Hey, Jo,” he said cheerfully. “I thought you had a date with Pepper.”

  “Glenn, I found a body in the alley behind the weight loss center. She’s an employee here, and she’s been strangled. I already called Sergeant Rorski.”

  He was all business when he said, “I’m already dressed for my shift. I’ll be right there.”

  I called Jackie next.

  “Remember that crazy place Pepper and I went to shake our fat on machines? I’m here right now, and there’s a body in the alley. Get over here quick.”

  An intense bout of shivering came over me. It was partly from sitting in the cold car, but I knew it was also nervousness coupled with anticipation. This might be another case I could solve. If the police didn’t know who killed her within forty-eight hours, the case could go cold on them very quickly.