Hearts On Ice

by Janae Keyes

  Cynthia came early the next morning for my evaluation. I did allow Lia to leave for my session. She needed rest in a real bed and a proper meal from someplace other than the hospital cafeteria.

  I would be released and then admitted to a drug and alcohol rehab center in Colorado Springs that Cynthia had recommended. As for my physical health, the doctors had flushed the toxins from my system. I’d been warned about possible residual effects, but they couldn’t do much more for me.

  “Cynthia, the only thing I need is to manage making it to practice.”

  “I don’t think it is a good idea. You need in-patient treatment,” she insisted.

  “I know, but I need something to hold on to. If not Lia, I need hockey. You’ve got to understand that. I need to work and keep my mind occupied with the things that make me happy so I can keep moving forward.”

  “I’ll talk to the center. I understand that need, but please take a few weeks to dedicate whole-heartedly to your treatment. You tried to take your own life and nearly succeeded. If you want to get into that positive mindset you keep talking about, treatment is important. You aren’t just fighting the addiction, but also the demons attached to the disease.”

  Cynthia had a way of explaining my care that made me less apprehensive about it.

  “Knock, knock,” a sweet voice called and Lia appeared. She’d obviously enjoyed a much needed nap and shower.

  “Lia, how are you?” Cynthia asked.

  She entered the room and came right to my side. “I’m good if he’s doing good,” she confessed sweetly before kissing my forehead.

  “I think the two of you have some things to discuss, but I will be back tomorrow.” Cynthia stood and gave my shoulder a reassuring pat.

  “Thanks, Cynthia,” Lia cheered before Cynthia left me alone with the one person I had left in my world.

  Lia laced her fingers with mine. Gently, I pulled her hand to my mouth and kissed it. She smiled, but she didn’t say anything. We were both lost for the right words.

  I found myself lost in everything about her. Lia was the most selfless human being I’d ever met. She didn’t have to come. There was never a requirement for her to be by my side through my challenges, but without the promise of anything, she was there next to me.

  “I don’t know how I’d do this without you,” I told her.

  “You’d do just fine without me, but I don’t know how I’d live in a world that didn’t have you.” A single tear fell down her cheek and I wiped it away. She’d cried too much because of me and it was time to end those tears and only bring her the joy she deserved.

  My heart pounded at the thought of that joy not including me in the way I wanted it, but I had to take a chance and do it. Life wasn’t a challenge without the chance in it. I would gamble away everything just for the notion of having my perfect angel, my Lia who lulled me back to life.

  I opened my mouth, but my words were cut off by the sound of the door opening. Then a figure entered the room. It was the first time I’d seen JC since we’d gone our separate ways in our hotel that night. He looked somber, but there was something else. There was a light in his eyes. That light wasn’t positive, and it gave me a feeling of apprehension, but I couldn’t place my finger on it.

  “Hey, Max. You’re looking good, bro,” he cheered as he came to my side and placed a hand on my shoulder.

  I glanced at Lia, the sneer on her face was unmistakable. She and JC hadn’t gotten along from day one, but this was something else. There was deep hatred in her eyes.

  “Yeah, man, I’m feeling better. My shrink just left and I’m heading into treatment in the next couple days,” I informed him.

  Lia’s cell phone rang, and she excused herself. As JC mindlessly chatted on, I watched her through the window. I saw the concern on her face before she looked at her phone. Her eyes shot up and into the room, piercing JC with a sense of realization.

  The next thing I knew, Lia burst into the room with her phone in her hand. She shoved it in JC’s face. She was full of rage like a bull seeing red.

  “It was you. You piece of shit!” Anger flowed through her like I’d never seen before.

  “I don’t know what you’re talking about. Max, get your girl.” JC put his hand in her face, dismissing her.

  She shoved his hand away. “My mom called. Videos and photos of you overdosed and dying have made their rounds. Now, it all makes sense. That night at your house, I remember standing there and watching you. Only feet away from me was JC with his fucking phone pointed in my face. He took the video that night and leaked it and he also leaked this,” she explained in a calm demeanor that was almost frightening as the wrath of God himself was in her eyes and about to come down on JC. “It’s all about the money, isn’t it? You don’t give a fuck about him.”

  “And you do, Princess?” JC shot back.

  “Of course I do. I wouldn’t be here if I didn’t care about him.” She paused for a moment to compose herself before her final words came out in a whisper. “If I didn’t love him.”

  “Can you believe this chick?” JC rubbed it off like a bad joke.

  “I can,” I asserted. “I can believe her. You’ve been after my money for as long as I’ve known you. It has always been about the money. You’re my sole beneficiary of everything I own. I got clean and you knew my weakness to the pills. You took advantage of the situation. You knew exactly what you were doing.”

  “That’s bullshit and you know it!” JC spat, trying to defend himself, but he was losing the battle.

  “No bullshit at all! Get the fuck out and I never want to see your fucking face again.” Those were my final words to JC. I had trusted him with everything, but he’d used his power over me and used my weaknesses for his advantage.

  It all made sense to me. He’d wanted Lia out of the way from the beginning. He knew I finally had someone good and decent in my life that would steer me in the right direction. Now, he couldn’t have it. I shook my head. JC was like my only blood.

  JC left us behind without a word. He had no leg to stand on and there would be no coming back into my life. Lia sat down, her face in her hands. I allowed my fingers to travel into her hair and stroked her scalp. My beautiful girl had done so much for me without the requirements to do so.

  “Lia, I need to ask you something,” I said softly.

  She lifted her head and peered at me with those honey-brown eyes I’d adored since the first moment. We’d hit our own rock bottom as I hit mine, but she stood firm and was still there. Our future was uncertain, but I wanted to solidify it as I’d planned to do before it all went to hell.

  “First, I want to thank you for being here. I’ve got a second chance to live this life. I’m obviously meant to be here for some reason. God didn’t want to give up on me yet, I guess.” I wasn’t an emotional man nor a spiritual one, but it all hit me at once.

  “He didn’t,” she said in a sweet whisper that spoke to the essence of my soul.

  “I know I’ve already got the second chance of the lifetime. I’ve got my life that I had taken for granted. I’m able to gather all my broken pieces and put them back together again. There is one piece that I’m sure about. That piece is you, Lia. You were once mine and my entire world was a kaleidoscope of amazement that I’d never had before. I was able to look at life in another way. Will you return to my life and be mine again?”

  “Max,” she breathed, her voice traveling over me like a light breeze on a spring day. I braced myself for her answer. “I was always yours.”

  “Seriously?”

  “Seriously. There will never be a time that I won’t love Max Madden. Believe me. I’ve tried. I nearly lost you and I don’t want that.” She grinned and leaned over me, her plump lips finding their way to mine. “But your treatment comes first. We’ll take things slow and focus on getting you back to your best self.”

  “Slow and best self… Got it. I’ve got another question,” I whispered, her mouth still on mine.

  “
And that is?”

  “Will you marry me?”

  “Max…” She froze and pulled away. “I love you and I’ll always be yours, but I don’t want your treatment and recovery to depend on my answer. How about we postpone my answer for a bit? I’m going to be here by your side while you get all the help you need to make a full recovery. Until then, I’ll keep you in suspense.” She gave me a grin and kissed me again.

  “I can live with that.”

  “Perfect. I want you to fix you first.”

  “I’m on my way there now. I’m ready to fix me.”

  25

  Lia

  I’d practically moved to Colorado again. This time I rented a small furnished apartment in Colorado Springs not far from the rehab center where Max was. Two weeks had passed since he entered treatment and things were going great for him.

  For the first month, Max was in detox and I wasn’t able to see him. Once he was out of detox he was moved into an offset of The Willows Center. The center was owned and operated by the husband of Fantasia Willows and primarily worked with athletes dealing with substance abuse.

  I entered the center with a bag in my hands. The woman at the front desk knew me now, so she handed me a visitors’ badge. I entered through the electronic sliding doors and navigated the halls to Max’s room where I expected him to be.

  I opened the door and found Max. The walls of the room were a tranquil shade of teal and the floors were hardwood covered with sandy brown rugs. Max had a small twin bed pushed against the wall.

  He’d been reading a book, but he peered up at me the moment I entered the room. There were people who perceived Max as weak, and others mocked him for getting the help he needed. In my eyes, Max was the strongest and bravest man I’d ever met. I loved all of him for it; his broken pieces too.

  “There you are,” he gushed as he placed his book on his bedside table.

  “Look at Max Madden. He reads,” I joked.

  Max playfully rolled his eyes at me. He always told me how people assumed athletes were dumb as rocks, but he actually enjoyed reading a good book on occasion.

  From the moment I reached him, he’d placed his hands on my hips and pulled me in close. I nearly fell over him. “Max!” I giggled as I placed the bag I had on his nightstand before allowing him to pull my body to his. He laid down on the bed and pulled me on top of him. “Remember we’re going slow.”

  “Who needs slow when you can go fast?” he asked before giving me a peck on my lips.

  I shook my head at him, but relaxed into his arms with a sigh. “How’s your day? Did you have your session this morning?” Max could have anywhere from one or two sessions a day, which was great. He needed to communicate often, especially when he was feeling vulnerable and craving pills.

  I leaned down and pressed my lips to his. Peering into his eyes, I saw the man I’d fallen in love with. He was the one who set my soul on fire and gave me a passion I’d never had. I wanted to go slow with him because his treatment came first. The most important thing in my mind was that he was clean, sober, and feeling his best.

  “I had my group session first thing this morning and my individual session after lunch. They believe I can possibly do outpatient treatment in the next few weeks,” he informed me as he twirled the end of my ponytail between his fingers.

  “That’s fantastic,” I said happily, thinking how nice it would be to fall asleep with him again. “I’m so proud of you.”

  His rough hands moved under the back of my shirt and up my back. Shivers ran up my spine with Max’s not-so-gentle touch. There he was, being the bull in my China shop and in no time he’d taken full control. My body flopped down onto the mattress, Max hovering over me with wickedness in his eyes that I knew too well.

  My hands on his chest, nudging him off me. He sat up, which allowed me my freedom to wiggle from out of his dominating air. I’d missed that but it was not the time nor the place.

  “We’re not going to do that here,” I scolded him as I waved a finger in his face to get my point across. That only elicited a disappointing groan from him.

  I leaned in, my lips not far from his. “Not here. Wait until we’re home. I don’t want to derail your treatment. Max, as much as I want you to make love to me, I love you too much to allow you to do it right now.”

  “I understand,” he said before kissing me deeply and slowly, dragging me to him, but not far enough to crack. “What’s in the bag?”

  “I picked you up a little treat since you said the food here sucks,” I noted as I pulled the bag onto the bed with us and pulled out two plastic containers. Opening the first, I revealed a large slice of cheesecake. “I went to the place you liked near the Willows Center and got us something.”

  “Mmm, baby, this is perfect,” he hummed before kissing my cheek.

  We dug into our treats. This was the type of life I wanted with him. I saw our future again; the two of us living a quiet life. There would be no spotlight; only simplicity and moments like we were sharing now. Not much was required for us to be happy together, and as long as Max was well, it was all I needed to be happy.

  “I have a meeting with Trish York tomorrow afternoon. I think she will work out. She knows what she’s doing and she’s one of the best,” Max spoke of the new manager he planned to hire.

  That piece of trash, JC, had left, and fortunately, we hadn’t heard a peep out of him. Max already had lawyers ready to pounce if he tried anything. Plus he would likely kick his ass himself.

  “I know people who have worked with her. She’s good at what she does, and I think she will work out for you,” I assured him as I leaned into his arms.

  It would be time to leave soon, as visiting hours would be over. I snuggled in deep, wanting to savor the last moments we had together before I returned to my rented apartment.

  “I did do something on my own,” he mentioned as he played with my hair. “I agreed to do an interview with ESPN about everything going on with me.”

  “Do you think that is a good idea?” I asked, nervous for him and what opening himself up could mean for his treatment.

  “I think it’s a great idea. I want to be honest and in treatment. That has been the big thing I’ve taken away from it all—honesty.”

  Max was already a great guy, but he was becoming a better man through treatment. I kissed him before the announcement that visiting hours were over came over the intercom. We said our goodbyes and I was forced to leave Max behind, but at least I knew he was in fantastic hands where I’d left him.

  “That’s it, Lia!” Bev cheered as I’d pulled out a beautiful combination spin that we’d been working on for the last hour. “And great power.”

  I couldn’t have been prouder of myself. We were headed to the Olympics with routines I absolutely adored. The song for my free program made me cry, and my performance was putting my heart out for the world to see.

  Knowing the entire world would be watching made me a little nervous. There was so much to prove and so much going on. I had to first show that I deserved a gold medal. I also would allow them into my relationship with Max through my performance. Lastly, I would give my farewell performance and it needed to blow their minds.

  “Okay, Lia, let’s land that quad. Power, power, quad!” Bev was just as energized as I was.

  Nothing would hold me back this time. I had the speed and I’d trained to do this. With the right speed, on the mark I took off into my jump. My eyes closed the moment I took off from the ice, but opened in mid rotation. Anxiety tried to strike, but I shoved it out of my mind as my landing was picture perfect.

  “Yes!” I screamed, but I continued on with the routine.

  I was back. Lia Crestwood was back and would once more rule the ice. My heart pounded and I was out of breath. I finished my routine feeling on top of the world as Bev skated toward me, cheering as she approached. Her arms flew around me and pulled me in close.

  “You did it, girlie!” she yelled as I also heard the applause of o
nlookers.

  My presence had apparently drawn in a crowd. My temporary relocation to Colorado had required me to find a rink to practice at and Bev had to come out to practice with me. Being close to Max was important and it kept our connection strong. I took that connection out on the ice with me and allowed it to breathe through me.

  “Only seven and a half more months to go,” I reminded Bev.

  I would use those seven months to my advantage. My time at the Willows Center had taught me another side of me. I’d always been one to persevere through storms, but I’d learned how to use my injury and take it from a challenge to an accomplishment.

  “What time is it?” I asked Bev.

  “It’s almost 2:30. Why?” Bev inquired.

  I knew she wanted me to go over my routine one more time after that stellar run through, but I had to leave. “I need to go,” I rushed as I began to skate toward the exit. “Max has an interview and I promised him I’d be there!” I yelled over my shoulder. I nearly jumped from the ice and plopped down on a bench to unlace my skates so I could get out as fast as I could.

  After I left the rink, I rushed across town to the rehab center. I wasn’t my most glamorous self, but I knew the interview had started and I needed to keep good on my promise to be there for Max.

  The crew had planned to use one of the sitting rooms in the center. I gave the receptionist a wave as she opened the doors for me and I scurried down the hall toward the sitting room I knew they were using.

  As quietly as possible, I slipped into the room. I heard Max talking to the interviewer. The network news station had sent over one of their well-known journalists for Max’s exclusive interview.

  The crew acknowledged me, but everyone kept quiet as the interview in progress continued. Max glanced at me from the corner of his eye, and I saw a smile come to his lips.

  “Max, what has been the one lesson you’ve taken away from your addiction and the treatment?” Jules Watson, distinguished journalist, asked him.