Barrie, J M

by The Young Visitors

  Just then the footman staggered out with the bagage. Ethel bowed gracefully over the door of the cariage and Mr S. waved his [Pg 31] hand as each bit of luggage was hoisted up to make sure it was all there. Then he said thankyou my good fellow very politely. Not at all sir said the footman and touching his cocked hat he jumped actively to the box.

  I was right not to tip him whispered Mr Salt eena the thing to do is to leave 2/6 on your dressing table when your stay is over.

  Does he find it asked Ethel who did not really know at all how to go on at a visit. I beleeve so replied Mr Salteena anyhow it is quite the custom and we cant help it if he does not. Now my dear what do you think of the sceenery

  Very nice said Ethel gazing at the rich fur rug on her knees. Just then the cariage rolled into a beautifull drive with tall trees and big red flowers growing amid shiny dark leaves. Presently the haughty coachman pulled up with a great clatter at a huge front door with tall pillers each side a big iron bell and two very clean scrapers. The doors flung open as if by majic causing [Pg 32] Ethel to jump and a portly butler appeared on the scene with a very shiny shirt front and a huge pale face. Welcome sir he exclaimed good naturedly as Mr Salteena alighted rarther quickly from the viacle and please to step inside.

  Mr Salteena stepped in as bid followed by Ethel. The footman again struggled with the luggage and the butler Francis Minnit by name kindly lent a hand. The hall was very big and hung round with guns and mate and ancesters giving it a gloomy but a grand air. The butler then showed them down a winding corridoor till he came to a door which he flung open shouting Mr Salteena and a lady sir.

  A tall man of 29 rose from the sofa. He was rarther bent in the middle with very nice long legs fairish hair and blue eyes. Hullo Alf old boy he cried so you have got here all safe and no limbs broken.

  None thankyou Bernard replied Mr Salteena shaking hands and let me introduce [Pg 33] Miss Monticue she is very pleased to come for this visit. Oh yes gasped Ethel blushing through her red ruge. Bernard looked at her keenly and turned a dark red. I am glad to see you he said I hope you will enjoy it but I have not arranged any partys yet as I dont know anybody.

  Dont worry murmered Ethel I dont mix much in Socierty and she gave him a dainty smile.

  I expect you would like some tea said Bernard I will ring.

  Yes indeed we should said Mr Salteena egerly. Bernard pealed on the bell and the butler came in with a stately walk.

  Tea please Minnit crid Bernard Clark. With pleshure sir replied Minnit with a deep bow. A glorious tea then came in on a gold tray two kinds of bread and butter a lovly jam role and lots of sugar cakes. Ethels eyes began to sparkle and she made several remarks during the meal. I expect [Pg 34] you would now like to unpack said Bernard when it was over.

  Well yes that is rarther an idear said Mr Salteena.

  I have given the best spare room to Miss Monticue said Bernard with a gallant bow and yours turning to Mr Salteena opens out of it so you will be nice and friendly both the rooms have big windows and a handsome view.

  How charming said Ethel. Yes well let us go up replied Bernard and he led the way up many a winding stairway till they came to an oak door with some lovly swans and bull rushes painted on it. Here we are he cried gaily. Ethels room was indeed a handsome compartment with purple silk curtains and a 4 post bed draped with the same shade. The toilit set was white and mouve and there were some violets in a costly varse. Oh I say cried Ethel in supprise. I am glad you like it said Bernard and here we have yours Alf. He opened [Pg 35] the dividing doors and portrayed a smaller but dainty room all in pale yellow and wild primroses. My own room is next the bath room said Bernard it is decerated dark red as I have somber tastes. The bath room has got a tip up bason and a hose thing for washing your head.

  A good notion said Mr Salteena who was secretly getting jellus.

  Here we will leave our friends to unpack and end this Chapter.

  [Pg 36] CHAPTER 3

  THE FIRST EVENING

  When they had unpacked Mr Salteena and Ethel went downstairs to dinner. Mr Salteena had put on a compleat evening suit as he thought it was the correct idear and some ruby studs he had got at a sale. Ethel had on a dress of yellaw silk covered with tulle which was quite in the fashion and she had on a necklace which Mr Salteena gave her for a birthday present. She looked very becomeing and pretty and Bernard heaved a sigh as he gave her his arm to go into dinner. The butler Minnit was quite ready for the fray standing up very stiff and surrounded by two footmen in green plush and curly white wigs who were called Charles and Horace.

  Well said Mr Salteena lapping up his [Pg 37] turtle soup you have a very sumpshous house Bernard.

  His friend gave a weary smile and swollowed a few drops of sherry wine. It is fairly decent he replied with a bashful glance at Ethel after our repast I will show you over the premisis.

  Many thanks said Mr Salteena getting rarther flustered with his forks.

  You ourght to give a ball remarked Ethel you have such large compartments.

  Yes there is room enough sighed Bernard we might try a few steps and meanwhile I might get to know a few peaple.

  So you might responded Ethel giving him a speaking look.

  Mr Salteena was growing a little peevish but he cheered up when the Port wine came on the table and the butler put round some costly finger bowls. He did not have any in his own house and he followed Bernard Clarks advice as to what to do with them. After dinner Ethel played some [Pg 38] merry tunes on the piano and Bernard responded with a rarther loud song in a base voice and Ethel clapped him a good deal. Then Mr Salteena asked a few riddles as he was not musicle. Then Bernard said shall I show you over my domain and they strolled into the gloomy hall.

  I see you have a lot of ancesters said Mr Salteena in a jelous tone, who are they.

  Well said Bernard they are all quite correct. This is my aunt Caroline she was rarther exentrick and quite old.

  So I see said Mr Salteena and he passed on to a lady with a very tight waist and quearly shaped. That is Mary Ann Fudge my grandmother I think said Bernard she was very well known in her day.

  Why asked Ethel who was rarther curious by nature.

  Well I dont quite know said Bernard but she was and he moved away to the next picture. It was of a man with a fat smiley face and a red ribbon round him and a lot [Pg 39] of medals. My great uncle Ambrose Fudge said Bernard carelessly.

  He looks a thourough ancester said Ethel kindly.

  Well he was said Bernard in a proud tone he was really the Sinister son of Queen Victoria.

  Not really cried Ethel in excited tones but what does that mean.

  Well I dont quite know said Bernard Clark it puzzles me very much but ancesters do turn quear at times.

  Peraps it means god son said Mr Salteena in an inteligent voice.

  Well I dont think so said Bernard but I mean to find out.

  It is very grand anyhow said Ethel.

  It is that replied her host geniully.

  Who is this said Mr Salteena halting at a picture of a lady holding up some grapes and smiling a good deal.

  Her name was called Minnie Pilato responded Bernard she was rarther far back [Pg 40] but a real relation and she was engaged to the earl of Tullyvarden only it did not quite come off.

  What a pity crid Ethel.

  Yes it was rarther replied Bernard but she marrid a Captain in the Navy and had seven children so she was quite alright.

  Here Mr Salteena thourght he had better go to bed as he had had a long jornney. Bernard always had a few prayers in the hall and some whiskey afterwards as he was rarther pious but Mr Salteena was not very adicted to prayers so he marched up to bed. Ethel stayed as she thourght it would be a good thing. The butler came in as he was a very holy man and Bernard piously said the Our Father and a very good hymm called I will keep my anger down and a Decad of the Rosary. Ethel chimed in quiutly and Francis Minnit was most devout and Ethel thourght what a good holy family she was stopping with. So I w
ill end my chapter.

  [Pg 41] CHAPTER 4

  MR SALTEENAS PLAN

  Mr Salteena woke up rarther early next day and was supprised and delighted to find Horace the footman entering with a cup of tea.

  Oh thankyou my man said Mr Salteena rolling over in the costly bed. Mr Clark is nearly out of the bath sir anounced Horace I will have great plesure in turning it on for you if such is your desire. Well yes you might said Mr Salteena seeing it was the idear and Horace gave a profound bow.

  Ethel are you getting up shouted Mr Salteena.

  Very nearly replied Ethel faintly from the next room.

  I say said Mr Salteena excitedly I have had some tea in bed.

  [Pg 42] So have I replied Ethel.

  Then Mr Salteena got into a mouve dressing goun with yellaw tassles and siezing his soap he wandered off to the bath room which was most sumpshous. It had a lovly white shiny bath and sparkling taps and several towels arrayed in readiness by thourghtful Horace. It also had a step for climbing up the bath and other good dodges of a rich nature. Mr Salteena washed himself well and felt very much better. After brekfast Mr Salteena asked Bernard if he could have some privite conversation with him. Well yes replied Bernard if you will come into my study we can have a few words.

  Cant I come too muttered Ethel sulkily.

  No my dear said Mr Salteena this is privite.

  Perhaps later I might have a privite chat with you Miss Monticue said Bernard kindly.

  Oh do lets said Ethel.

  [Pg 43] Then Bernard and Mr S. strolled to the study and sat upon two arm chairs. Fire away said Bernard lighting his pipe. Well I cant exactly do that said Mr Salteena in slow tones it is a searious matter and you can advise me as you are a thorugh gentleman I am sure.

  Well yes said Bernard what can I do for you eh Alf?

  You can help me perhaps to be more like a gentleman said Mr Salteena getting rarther hot I am quite alright as they say but I would like to be the real thing can it be done he added slapping his knees.

  I dont quite know said Bernard it might take a good time.

  Might it said Mr S. but I would slave for years if need be. Bernard scratched his head. Why dont you try the Crystal Pallace he asked several peaple Earls and even dukes have privite compartments there.

  But I am not an Earl said Mr Salteena in a purplexed tone.

  [Pg 44] True replied Bernard but I understand there are sort of students there who want to get into the War Office and notable banks.

  Would that be a help asked Mr Salteena egerly.

  Well it might said Bernard I can give you a letter to my old pal the Earl of Clincham who lives there he might rub you up and by mixing with him you would probably grow more seemly.

  Oh ten thousand thanks said Mr Salteena I will go there as soon as it can be arranged if you would be so kind as to keep an eye on Ethel while I am away.

  Oh yes said Bernard I may be running up to town for a few days and she could come too.

  You are too kind said Mr Salteena and I dont think you will find her any trouble.

  No I dont think I shall said Bernard she is a pretty girl cheerful and active. And he blushed rarther red.

  [Pg 45] CHAPTER 5

  THE CRYSTAL PALACE

  About 9 oclock next morning Mr Salteena stood bag in hand in the ancestle hall waiting for the viacle to convay him to the station. Bernard Clark and Ethel were seated side by side on a costly sofa gazing abstractly at the parting guest. Horace had dashed off to put on his cocked hat as he was going in the baroushe but Francis Minnit was roaming about the hall well prepared for any deed.

  Well said Bernard puffing at his meershum pipe I hope you will get on Alf I am sure you have that little letter to old Clincham eh

  In deed I have said Mr Salteena many thanks for the same and I do hope Ethel will behave properly.

  [Pg 46] Oh yes I expect she will said Bernard with a sigh.

  I always do said Ethel in a snappy tone.

  Just then there was a great clatter outside and the sound of hoofs and a loud neigh. The barouche I take it said Bernard rising slowly.

  Quite correct sir said Minnit flinging wide the portles.

  Well goodbye Alf old man said Bernard Clark good luck and God bless you he added in a pius tone.

  Not at all said Mr Salteena I have enjoyed my stop which has been short and sweet well goodbye Ethel my child he said as bag in hand he proceeded to the door. Francis Minnit bowed low and handed a small parcel to Mr Salteena a few sandwighs for the jorney sir he remarked.

  Oh this is most kind said Mr Salteena.

  Minnit closed his eyes with a tired smile. Not kind sir he muttered quite usual.

  Oh really said Mr Salteena feeling rather [Pg 47] flabergasted well goodbye my good fellow and he slipped 2/6 into the butlers open palm.

  Mr Salteena had to travel first class as active Horace ran on to buy the ticket which he presented with a low bow the _Times_ and _Tit-Bits_. Oh many thanks my man said Mr Salteena in a most airy voice now will you find me a corner seat in the train eh.

  If there is one sir replied Horace.

  In got Mr Salteena to his first class carrage surrounded by his luggage carefully piled up by kindly Horace. The other pasengers looked full of envy at the curly white wig and green plush uniform of Horace. Mr Salteena crossed his legs in a lordly way and flung a fur rug over his knees though he was hot enough in all consciunce. He began to feel this was the thin end of the partition and he smiled as he gently tapped the letter in his coat tail pocket. When Mr Salteena arrived in [Pg 48] London he began to strolle up the principle streets thinking how gay all was. Presently he beheld a resterant with a big Menu outside and he went boldly in.

  It was a sumpshous spot all done up in gold with plenty of looking glasses. Many hansome ladies and gentlemen were already partaking of choice food and rich wines and whiskey and the scene was most lively. Mr Salteena had a little whiskey to make him feel more at home. Then he eat some curry to the tune of a merry valse on the band. He beat time to the music and smiled kindly at the waiters and he felt very excited inside. I am seeing life with a vengance he muttered to himself as he paid his bill at the desk. Outside Mr Salteena found a tall policeman. Could you direct me to the Crystale Pallace if you please said Mr Salteena nervously.

  Well said the geniul policeman my advice would be to take a cab sir.

  [Pg 49] Oh would it said Mr Salteena then I will do so.

  He hailed a Hansome and got speedily in to the Crystal Palace he cried gaily and holding his bag on his knees he prepared to enjoy the sights of the Metropilis. It was a merry drive and all too soon the Palace heaved in view. Mr Salteena sprang out and paid the man and then he entered the wondrous edifice. His heart beat very fast as two huge men in gold braid flung open the doors. Inside was a lovely fountain in the middle and all round were little stalls where you could buy sweets and lemonade also scent handkerchiefs and many dainty articles. There were a lot of peaple but nobody very noteable.

  At last after buying two bottles of scent and some rarther nice sweets which stuck to his teeth Mr Salteena beheld a wooden door on which was nailed a notice saying To the Privite Compartments.

  Ah ha said Mr Salteena to himself this is [Pg 50] evidently my next move, and he gently pushed open the door straitening his top hat as he did so. Inside he found himself in a dimly lit passage with a thick and handsom carpet. Mr Salteena gazed round and beheld in the gloom a very superier gentleman in full evening dress who was reading a newspaper and warming his hands on the hot water pipes. Mr Salteena advanced on tiptoe and coughed gently as so far the gentleman had paid no attention. However at the second cough he raised his eyes in a weary fashion. do you want anything he asked in a most noble voice.

  Mr Salteena got very flustered. Well I am seeking the Earl of Clincham he began in a trembly voice are you by any chance him he added most respectfully.

  No not exacktly replied the other my name happens to be Edward Procurio. I am half italian an
d I am the Groom of the Chambers.

  [Pg 51] What chambers asked Mr Salteena blinking his eyes.

  These said Edward Procurio waving a thin arm.

  Mr Salteena then noticed several red doors with names of people on each one. Oh I see he said then perhaps you can tell me where the Earl of Clincham is to be found.

  At the end of the passage fourth door down said Procurio tritely of course he may be out one never knows what they are up to.

  I suppose not said Mr Salteena in an interested tone.

  One can not gamble on anything really said Procurio returning to the hot water pipes though of course I know a lot more than most peaple about the inmates here.

  What are the habbits of the Earl of Clincham said Mr Salteena.

  Procurio gave a smile many and varius he replied I cant say much in my position [Pg 52] but one lives and learns. He heaved a sigh and shruged his shoulders.

  Well good day said Mr Salteena feeling better for the chat.

  Procurio nodded in silence as Mr Salteena trotted off down the passage. At last he came to a door labelled Clincham Earl of in big letters. With a beating heart Mr Salteena pulled the bell and the door swung open of its own accord. At the same moment a cheery voice rang out from the distance. Come in please I am in the study first door on left.

  With a nervous bound Mr Salteena obeyd these directions and found himself in a small but handsome compartment done in dark green lether with crests on the chairs. Over the mantlepiece was hung the painting of a lady in a low neck looking quite the thing. By the desk was seated a tall man of 35 with very nice eyes of a twinkly nature and curly hair he wore a quite plain suit of palest grey but well [Pg 53] made and on the table reposed a grey top hat which had evidently been on his head recently. He had a rose in his button hole also a signet ring.

  Hullo said this pleasant fellow as Mr. Salteena was spell bound on mat.

  Hullo your Lord Ship responded our hero bowing low and dropping his top hat do I adress the Earl of Clincham.