The Healing

by Wanda E. Brunstetter

  Suzanne hurried over to the cupboard and took out enough plates for everyone at the table. Then, as Esther cut the cake and handed each one a piece, Suzanne served up scoops of vanilla ice cream.

  “Umm … This cake is appeditlich,” Titus said, smacking his lips.

  All heads bobbed again—even Samuel’s this time. “It is delicious, and you did a good job making it,” he said, looking at Bonnie with a grateful expression.

  Bonnie smiled. “Thank you, Samuel.”

  Esther couldn’t help but notice how comfortable Samuel seemed to be around Bonnie. Not like when he was with her—stiff, as though he could hardly stand to look at her.

  Esther mulled things over as she ate her cake. Why would an Amish man be more comfortable around an English woman than he is with an Amish woman? Is there something he finds more appealing about Bonnie than me? Esther picked up her glass of water and took a drink, forcing her troubling thoughts aside. This evening, she needed to keep her focus on Marla and on making her birthday special.

  When everyone finished their cake and ice cream, Suzanne gave Marla her gift.

  “Danki. I like it,” Marla said after she’d opened a box with two puzzles in it. Then Titus presented Marla with a sled, which he said Suzanne had helped him pick out. Marla seemed quite happy with that gift as well.

  Next, Esther handed Marla the present she’d bought. When Marla opened it and removed the drawing tablet and colored pencils, she fairly beamed. “Danki, Esther! Now I can draw a whole bunch of pictures.”

  Esther smiled. She was pleased that she’d given Marla something she liked.

  “Now it’s my turn.” Bonnie pushed away from the table and returned with the beautifully wrapped gift she’d brought into the house before supper. “I hope you like this,” she said, handing it to Marla.

  Marla quickly tore off the pink tissue paper and gave Bonnie a happy smile when she pulled out a cute little doll dressed in Amish clothes. “Danki. I really like it. I like everything I got.” She turned and looked expectantly at her father, as though waiting to see if he had a gift for her, too.

  Esther held her breath, wondering what Samuel would do.

  Samuel, feeling guilty and stupid for forgetting his daughter’s birthday, didn’t know what to say or do. Truth was, he didn’t have anything to give Marla. Elsie would never have forgotten one of our kinner’s birthdays, he thought. What’s wrong with me?

  Suddenly, an idea flashed into his head. There was that box in his room with Elsie’s things that he hadn’t gone through yet. “I’ll be right back,” he said, rising from his chair.

  “Where ya goin’?” Penny called as he started out of the room.

  “To get your sister’s present.”

  Samuel hurried to his room, pulled the box away from the wall, and flipped open the flaps. After a bit of searching, he located one of Elsie’s favorite teacups. Thinking Marla might like to have something that belonged to her mother, he returned to the kitchen and gave it her. “This was one of your mamm’s favorite kopplin,” he said.

  Marla smiled and lifted the delicate china cup to her lips, as though pretending to drink from it. “Danki, Daadi. Knowin’ this was Mammi’s makes it my best gift of all.”

  “Let me see it.” Penny reached across Jared, and he turned his head sharply, bumping Marla’s arm and knocking the cup out of her hand. It landed on the floor, shattering into several pieces.

  Marla gasped and burst into tears.

  “Now look what you did!” Samuel pointed at Penny. “You not only took away your sister’s birthday present, but you broke your mamm’s favorite cup!”

  Hands shaking, and forehead beaded with sweat, Samuel stormed out of the house.

  CHAPTER 15

  I’d better go talk to Marla and Penny,” Esther said after the two girls had gone tearfully to their room. “This was not a good way for Marla’s party to end, and I’m sure she and Penny both could use a bit of comforting right now.”

  “I’ll stay here and clean up the broken cup,” Suzanne said.

  “I’ll clear the table and do the dishes,” Bonnie spoke up.

  Titus pushed his chair away from the table. “Think I’d better go outside and have a talk with my bruder. No doubt, he could use a bit of comforting, too.”

  Esther glanced at the boys. Leon sat with his head down, staring at his half-eaten piece of cake. His father’s outburst had no doubt upset him. Little Jared, however, seemed unaffected by the whole ordeal. Wearing a grin on his chocolate-smudged face, he sat in his high chair happily eating the piece of birthday cake Esther had given him before Samuel stormed out of the house.

  Esther gave Leon’s shoulder a tender squeeze. “Would you like some more ice cream?”

  He shook his head. “I ain’t hungry no more. Think I’ll get ready for bed.” He leaped off his chair and hurried out of the room.

  Esther sighed. Three upset children, and one angry father. What a terrible way for the evening to end. She wished now that she hadn’t even planned a party for Marla. But if she hadn’t made the effort, there probably wouldn’t have been a party at all.

  Esther left the kitchen and hurried down the hall to the bedroom the girls shared. She found them both curled up on the bed, crying as though their little hearts had been broken.

  “It’s all right,” she said, taking a seat on the bed beside them and gently patting their backs. “Don’t cry.”

  Penny sat up and hiccupped on a sob. “Daadi’s m–mad at me. He thinks I—I broke the kopplin on purpose.”

  Marla sat up and leaned against Esther. “He don’t love us no more.”

  Esther slipped her arms around both girls’ waists, drawing them closer to her. “It was just an accident, and neither of you is to blame. I’m sure once your daed calms down he’ll realize that.” Esther hoped she was right, and she prayed that when Titus spoke to Samuel, he’d make him understand that it was just an accident.

  Samuel paced back and forth in the barn for a while; then he plopped down on a bale of straw. He’d been stupid to give Marla one of Elsie’s cups. She was still a little girl and didn’t know how to take care of such a delicate thing.

  But of course, he reminded himself, it wasn’t really Marla’s fault she dropped the cup. If Penny hadn’t reached across Jared, and if Jared hadn’t turned his head, he wouldn’t have bumped Marla’s arm and she wouldn’t have let go of the cup. I realize now that none of my kinner are old enough to be anywhere near such a delicate cup.

  Samuel leaned forward and let his head fall into the palms of his hands. He should have left all of Elsie’s things with Mama Fannie for safekeeping. Then when the girls were old enough, he could have let them choose whatever they wanted.

  “I’m so stupid,” he muttered. “Seems like I always make bad decisions, especially where my kinner are concerned.”

  A cold, wet nose brushed against Samuel’s hand, and when he lifted his head, he saw Lucky at his side.

  “Go away!” Samuel pushed the dog away. “I don’t want to be bothered with you right now.”

  The dog whimpered and dropped his head onto Samuel’s knee, looking up at him with understanding eyes. Did the critter realize Samuel needed some comfort, or was Lucky simply in need of attention? He figured it was probably a bit of both.

  With a groan of resignation, he patted the dog’s head. After all, the poor critter had done nothing wrong. Truth was, sitting here petting Lucky’s silky head felt kind of nice. It was a good way to relieve some of his stress. Maybe he ought to pay the dog more attention from now on instead of always hollering at him to get out of the way or go lie down. In spite of everything, he knew Lucky had to get used to his new surroundings, just like the rest of them. The only thing left that was familiar to the poor dog was Samuel and the kids.

  Lost in thought, Samuel sat for several minutes, scratching behind Lucky’s ears, until the barn door opened and Titus stepped in. Oh, great. I hope he didn’t come out here to lecture me.

 
“You okay?” Titus asked, taking a seat on the bale of straw beside Samuel.

  Samuel motioned to Lucky. “I wasn’t until the mutt came and offered me some comfort. After sitting here petting him awhile, I’ve calmed down a bit.”

  “You were pretty upset in there.” Titus reached over and put his hand on Samuel’s arm. “What happened with the teacup was just an accident, you know.”

  Samuel nodded. “I probably overreacted, but I wanted to give Marla something special that belonged to her mamm, and I’d hoped it would mean as much to her as it did to me.”

  “I’m sure it did. Didn’t you see the way her eyes lit up when you handed her the kopplin?”

  “Jah. She’s probably just as disappointed as I am that it broke.”

  “I know she is. She and Penny both ran crying to their bedroom after you yelled and stormed out of the house. I’m sure they both feel responsible for the cup being broken.”

  “Guess I’ll need to apologize to the both of them, and then I should find something else to give Marla.” Samuel gently pushed Lucky aside and stood.

  “Where are you going?”

  “To the house, to talk to the girls.”

  “Can it wait awhile? Esther’s in with ‘em right now.”

  Samuel frowned, as irritation welled in his chest. “They’re my kinner, not hers. It ought to be me talking to them, don’t you think?” More annoyed with himself that he’d forgotten his daughter’s birthday and the fact that he’d been pushing everyone close to him further and further away, even their beloved pooch, had made Samuel feel more agitated when he’d heard that Esther was comforting the girls. Then again, why shouldn’t they be comforted by her? In their own little ways, all four of his children had tried reaching out to him, but instead of giving comfort to the children as a dad should, Samuel had once again reacted harshly. His children were trying to go on with life the best they could without their mother—why couldn’t he?

  “I do think you need to talk to them, but right now what they need is a woman’s gentle touch.” Titus motioned for Samuel to take a seat. “And I think you and I need to talk.”

  “About what?”

  “Sit down, and I’ll tell you what’s on my mind.”

  Samuel wasn’t used to having his younger brother tell him what to do, and it kind of irked him. But since he was beholden to Titus for allowing him and the children to stay with him, he figured he’d better at least listen when Titus said he wanted to talk.

  He returned to the bale of straw and leaned his head against the wall behind him, figuring he was probably in for a long lecture about what a rotten father he was. Well, he felt like a rotten father, so he might as well admit it.

  “I forgot it was Marla’s birthday today, and I gave her the cup so she wouldn’t know I’d forgotten,” Samuel said.

  “I figured as much.” Titus pulled a piece of straw from the bale of hay he sat upon and stuck it between his teeth. “I wanted to suggest that unless you can find something of Elsie’s that’s not breakable, you probably should wait until Marla’s older to give her more of Elsie’s things.”

  “I’ve already come to that conclusion.” Samuel groaned and slapped the side of his head. “I’m not a good daed anymore.”

  “You are a good dad,” Titus said. “You’re just dealing with your own grief, and I don’t think you realize how much your kinner are hurting.”

  “They don’t act like it. They carry on like they don’t even miss their mamm.”

  “Do you remember what it was like when you lost your real mother?”

  “Jah, I do.”

  “How old were you when she died?”

  Samuel shrugged. “I was pretty young—maybe seven or eight, and I missed her a lot—especially at first, but I kept it pretty much to myself.”

  “How’d Dad deal with it?”

  “He didn’t talk much about Mama—at least not to me. Things didn’t get a whole lot better till he met Mama Fannie and they decided to get married.”

  “Maybe you ought to think of getting married again.”

  Samuel’s face heated, and his whole body tensed. “I’ve told you before—I’ll never love anyone the way I did Elsie, so I won’t be gettin’ married again!”

  CHAPTER 16

  Paradise, Pennsylvania

  On a Friday morning in the middle of March, Timothy knew the minute he stepped into his parents’ house that his mother had been doing some baking. The delicious aroma of ginger and cinnamon wafted up to his nose, causing his mouth to water.

  “Is that gingerbread I smell?” he asked when he entered the kitchen and found Mom bent over the oven door.

  She whirled around, nearly dropping the pan in her hands. “Ach, Timothy! You shouldn’t sneak up on me like that!”

  “I wasn’t sneakin’,” he said with a grin. “I’m surprised my noisy boots didn’t alert you to the fact that someone was coming.”

  “I did hear some clomping but thought it was your daed.”

  “Nope. After we came in from the fields, Dad went out to the barn to feed the horses.” Timothy sniffed deeply and pointed to the pan she held. “That looks like gingerbread.”

  “You’re right; it is.” She placed a cooling rack on the counter and set the pan of bread on top of it. “Would you like some after it cools?”

  He smacked his lips. “Sounds good to me.”

  “Are you and your daed done for the day, or just taking a break?” Mom asked.

  “We’re finished. The ground’s too wet to get much plowing done. Guess that’s to be expected when spring finally comes.” He went to the cupboard, took out a glass, and filled it with water. “Mind if I ask you a question, Mom?”

  She motioned to one of the chairs at the table. “Have a seat and ask away.”

  Timothy set his glass down on the table and seated himself. “Do you think it’s normal for a married woman to spend more time with her mother than she does her husband?”

  “I assume you’re talking about Hannah?” Mom asked, taking a seat across from him.

  He gave a nod. “As I’ve told you before, it seems like every time I turn around, Hannah’s either over at her mamm’s or her mamm’s at our place.”

  “She and Sally do seem to be very close.”

  “Jah, but you and Abby are close, and she’s not over here all the time.”

  “That’s true. Abby’s husband and children come first, and if I thought she was spending more time with me than them, I’d say something about it.”

  Timothy grunted. “I doubt Hannah’s mamm would ever say anything to Hannah about her not spending enough time with me. Fact is, I think Sally would have preferred that Hannah stay single and livin’ at her parents’ home for the rest of her life.”

  Mom waved away the idea with her hand. “I don’t think it’s that bad, son.”

  “Maybe that was a bit of an exaggeration, but I think Hannah and her mamm are too close, and I wish there was some way I could stop it.”

  “Have you tried talking to Hannah about the situation?”

  “Many times, and she always gets defensive. Even said I was selfish and wanted her all to myself.” He took a drink of water and frowned. “I just want to know that the woman I married would rather be with me than anyone else. If Dad didn’t need my help farming this place, I’d consider selling our home and moving my wife and daughter to Kentucky.”

  Mom’s eyes widened as she drew in a sharp breath.

  “Oh, don’t worry,” he was quick to say. “Hannah would pitch a fit if I even mentioned the idea.”

  “Can’t say as I’d blame her for that.” Mom’s eyebrows drew together so they nearly met at the bridge of her nose. “Don’t forget, your daed and I visited Titus in Kentucky last year, and I didn’t see anything there that would make me want to move.”

  “Land’s cheaper, and it’s less populated in Christian County than here. Titus has said so many times.”

  “Jah, well, just because your twin likes it there does
n’t mean you would.” Mom leaned forward with her elbows on the table and looked at him intently, the way she had when he was a boy about to receive a stern lecture for something he’d done wrong. “If you think things are bad between you and Hannah now, just move her two states away from her mamm and see what happens.”

  “I didn’t say I was planning to move. Just said I’d consider it if Dad didn’t need me here. ‘Course, I’d have to talk Hannah into it first, which would be nigh unto impossible.”

  Mom pursed her lips, causing the wrinkles around her mouth to become more pronounced. “I don’t think it’s right for Hannah to spend so much time with Sally that she’s begun to ignore you, but if it’s affecting your marriage, then you’d better have a talk with Jacob Weaver or one of our other ministers. Running from one’s problems is not a good idea.”

  Timothy nodded, but didn’t say anything. Truth was, he didn’t think his mother would be any happier about them moving to Kentucky than Hannah’s mother would be. Well, she didn’t have to worry, because short of a miracle, Hannah would never agree to move anywhere that was more than five miles from her folks. What he needed to do was figure out some way to get Hannah paying more attention to him and less to her mother.

  Pembroke, Kentucky

  “Would you like to have supper with us this evening?” Suzanne asked Titus as the two of them worked on a set of new cabinets one of their neighbors had recently ordered.

  “Sorry, but I can’t,” he said, reaching for another piece of sandpaper. “I need to fix supper for Samuel and the kinner.”

  Suzanne’s frown was so intense that deep lines were etched in her forehead. She looked downright miffed. “You’ve got to be kidding. Surely Samuel can fix supper for his family.”

  Titus shrugged. “He probably could if he set his mind to it, but it’s all I can do to get him to eat a decent meal, let alone cook anything.”

  “I know you’re concerned about your bruder, but you can’t do everything for him. Since Samuel and his kinner moved here, we hardly see each other anymore.”