A Bryson Family Christmas: Brothers in Blue, book 4

by St. James, Jeanne

  But in a way, it was easier to build a life in Manning Grove, even if it was a life alone. Living close to his family, he hoped one day they’d reach out and try to understand who he was and how he couldn’t just change into what they wanted him to be.

  He couldn’t live that lie.

  Which meant he remained alone.

  Until one day, he spotted a city girl who appeared lost and overwhelmed in a small town, trying to take responsibility for an adult brother she’d never met. A man who was looked at differently by society, just like Teddy.

  Teddy got his claws in that city girl, who let him feel safe enough to be himself and allowed his personality to shine. If he had been straight, he would have married that girl, but he loved her just the same.

  Because of her, he suddenly belonged somewhere again.

  Somehow they both became a Bryson, swallowed up into that family like they’d been born into it. And he had family once more.

  He owed Amanda the world. If it wasn’t for her, he might not have met his own soulmate, who slept soundly by his side, looking as delicious in sleep as he had in a well-fitted dark suit across that parking lot at Marc and Leah’s wedding.

  A Type-A alpha. A cop. A Marine. Not embarrassed to love someone like him, who was, as some have called Teddy, “light in the loafers.”

  Yes, he was. And he no longer cared who knew.

  He was loud and proud.

  He didn’t care if people hated him for who he was. Or talked behind his back. Or called him nasty names. He didn’t care because it was their problem.

  Not his.

  Not Adam’s.

  And he was going to marry that man.

  They were going to live and love the way they wanted and not worry about what others said. Or thought.

  Life was too damn short for that.

  They could now legally marry and that was what Teddy wanted. Nothing less. He had proposed to Adam and his lover had said yes without even the slightest hesitation.

  However, two years later they were still “engaged” and every time Teddy brought up planning their wedding, Adam changed the subject. Or made an excuse of why the time wasn’t right or why they couldn’t plan it just yet.

  Or he would simply say, “Soon.”

  Teddy didn’t want “soon,” he wanted “now.”

  If they were ever going to have kids, they needed to do so soon. At forty-five, he wasn’t a spring chicken and finding a surrogate, getting her pregnant through IVF, plus the months of pregnancy, took time. He could be fifty before their first, and probably only, child was born.

  He was afraid he’d feel like a grandfather instead of a father.

  In truth, Teddy would be okay with never having kids, but Adam hinted that he’d like at least one. And watching his lover around the Bryson babies showed what a great father he’d be.

  He sighed and continued to stare at who he hoped would be his future husband.

  Adam’s dark lashes were thick, his nose perfect, his lips... Well, the man was good with his lips. Extraordinarily good.

  Superb.

  And Adam never hesitated to reciprocate the attention Teddy gave him. Actually, Adam’s cock-sucking skills were two-snaps-and-a-clap worthy.

  Teddy pursed his own lips as he traced Adam’s with the tip of his index finger. His fiancé could be intense and take life too seriously sometimes, so when he was sleeping, his body and face were relaxed, making him look ten years younger than he was.

  Which would then make Teddy a cougar.

  Rawr!

  An overnight growth of dark whiskers covered Adam’s face. He’d grown it out on occasion, but normally liked his face smooth since it made him look more “squared away” for his position as a police officer.

  Yes, Teddy’s man wore a uniform. Purr. And looked damn good in it, too.

  Adam was so damn handsome, looking at him was sometimes like looking directly into the sun. Blinding.

  It was more than his rakish smile. Or the Brysons’ signature crystal blue eyes. Or that tiny scar that marred his perfectly-shaped eyebrows.

  Perfect because Teddy would force his cute butt into a chair and thread those thick bushy eyebrows. Though, Adam made him swear to never tell anyone that secret.

  Of course, Adam Bryson’s eyebrows were naturally shaped that way...

  Wink. Wink.

  Teddy brushed his knuckles over the dark wiry patch of hair that divided his muscular pecs, the hair that funneled into a line that traveled down the center of his six-pack—yes, his man had a freaking six-pack!—around that cute little half outie/half innie belly button before blooming into the well-groomed patch framing all of his manly goodness.

  Teddy loved to imagine he was Little Red Riding Hood following that dark and dangerous path until he came across the largest bear in the woods, who’d jump out, surprise him and gobble him up.

  And, yes, he had his fairy tales messed up. He just didn’t care. It was his fantasy.

  If they ever had a child, that was one fairy tale that would not be told. Not because of violence but because it always turned X-rated.

  Sometimes he wondered if his flamboyant personality—his true self—was too much for Adam, who was on the more conservative side. His fiancé saw no need to draw attention to himself and wasn’t always comfortable when Teddy tended to be loud and made it known that they, as a gay couple, existed in this town and weren’t going to hide.

  They were such opposites.

  Maybe Adam’s delay was because he wasn’t sure about their future.

  Or maybe Adam was simply with Teddy because he was the only other “out” man in the area. Maybe if there was more of a choice, Adam wouldn’t choose him at all.

  Yes, they had sexual chemistry, but maybe that was all Adam experienced. Nothing deeper.

  Teddy slammed a hand over his mouth so he wouldn’t cry out at the pain suddenly stabbing at his heart.

  It was easy to say the words, “I love you.” It was harder to mean them.

  Sometimes those words could be hollow and automatic as to not create conflict.

  When Adam said those three words, did he mean them? Or did he say them just to placate Teddy to avoid drama?

  Was Adam having second thoughts?

  He’d been so secretive lately. Getting home late. Taking phone calls out of Teddy’s hearing and not explaining why or who called. Or he would simply brush them off as something to do with work.

  But then there were the hours when he just disappeared.

  They used to take their lunch breaks together on a regular basis, but recently he’d cancelled a few of them, saying he had an emergency incident he needed to respond to. Only to find out through the Bryson grapevine that Adam hadn’t responded to anything at all.

  Had the man he loved found someone else? Someone who would fit into his life better? Someone who wouldn’t embarrass him, unlike Teddy did with his drama queen theatrics?

  Oh God, had he driven Adam into an affair?

  If so, Teddy would find the culprit and scratch out the other man’s eyes.

  But if Adam couldn’t love him the way he was, his true self, then he couldn’t love Teddy period.

  His heart began to race at the thought of losing the man he loved to someone else. Of being alone again.

  Of maybe no longer belonging to the Bryson family, the one family who loved him and accepted him as he was.

  A whimper bubbled up his throat.

  In a panic, he shook Adam’s shoulder. “Adam!”

  Adam jackknifed up to a seated position, eyes wide but unfocused. “What? What’s wrong?”

  Teddy also sat up, his fingers digging into his lover’s shoulder, his other hand grabbing Adam’s prickly jaw and jerking his head in his direction. “Don’t you love me anymore?”

  Adam’s perfectly manicured eyebrows dropped low. “What?”

  “You don’t love me anymore!” Teddy wailed.

  “What?”

  “You don’t want to marry me! You
’ve found someone else! Who? Who is it? I’m going to scratch his damn eyes out!”

  Adam’s mouth gaped open and a loud breath escaped before he snapped it shut. “Did you have a bad dream or something?”

  “Yes, this is my nightmare.”

  Adam ran a hand down his face and shook his head. “Well, you’re awake now so your nightmare is over. Go back to sleep. It’s...” His eyes slid to the digital clock on Teddy’s nightstand. “Christ. It’s five in the fucking morning.” Adam flopped back down, breaking Teddy’s hold. He punched his generic-brand pillow back into shape, rolled to his side, giving Teddy his back, settled in and sighed. “Go back to sleep.”

  “I can’t,” Teddy cried, gluing himself to Adam’s warm, broad back.

  “What the fuck, T. I need to work second shift today. I need sleep.”

  “I can’t sleep, lover. I can’t.”

  Adam rolled again until he was facing Teddy with only a few inches separating them. “I can’t deal with your neurosis right now.”

  “It’s not neurosis.”

  Adam’s eyebrows jerked up his forehead.

  Teddy grimaced and rolled his eyes. “Okay, okay. I get a little paranoid.”

  “A little?”

  “Well, you’ve been so secretive lately.”

  “I have not. I’ve been busy.”

  “With what?”

  “Work.”

  Teddy narrowed his eyes at him. “You’re lying.”

  Adam’s expression turned hard. “Really? You’re calling me a liar?”

  Teddy pressed his lips together.

  “You know I want to make detective. I’ve been trying to prove myself to Max.”

  That was true. Max had mentioned it, too.

  Adam continued, “That means odd hours and a crazy schedule sometimes.”

  That was also true.

  But still...

  Teddy rolled into him, knocking Adam to his back, and climbing on top to stare directly into those light blue eyes that did all kinds of naughty things to him.

  “Do you love me?” He tried to keep the whine out of his voice, but failed.

  “Jesus, Teddy. What’s up your ass?”

  “Not you. It’s been forever since we’ve made love.”

  “It hasn’t been forever,” Adam scoffed.

  “Fore... ev... ver.” He emphasized each syllable with a finger poke to that hard, muscular chest.

  “It hasn’t...” His not-lately lover went quiet. Adam pursed his beautiful, kissable, suckable lips.

  “Gah! You don’t want me anymore!” Teddy cried out. “I knew it!”

  “Jesus Christ,” Adam muttered.

  Teddy poked a finger into his fiancé’s chest once more, making Adam wince. “Don’t invoke him in this bed. He won’t help you out of this.”

  “I don’t need help. You’re just making more out of this than you need to. I’ve been... distracted.”

  “With someone else?”

  “Teddy...”

  He pressed a finger against Adam’s luscious lips. “Uh uh. I need you to be honest with me. Do you still love me?”

  Adam frowned.

  “Do you still want my tight, delectable ass?”

  Teddy squealed as Adam hooked him with one of those muscular legs and rolled him until he was pinned to the bed. His fiancé was now settled between Teddy’s thighs and had both palms planted in the mattress on either side of his head.

  Adam dropped his head until his lips were just a hairsbreadth above Teddy’s mouth. He growled, “Do I need to prove it?”

  Teddy licked his lips. “That would be swell. And since you’re already awake...”

  “I ought to spank that irresistible ass for waking me up over imaginary nonsense.”

  “Ooh,” Teddy breathed, his cock waking up at the thought. His man was such a gorilla. A big silverback. Big and strong and... so growly when he was annoyed. “You just got me hard,” he announced needlessly. Just in case Adam didn’t feel his erection pressing into his lower belly.

  Teddy wasn’t the only one hard. Adam’s long, thick cock was pressed into Teddy’s thigh.

  “Are you going to make love to me?”

  “No.”

  Disappointment flooded Teddy, making him pout.

  “I’m going to fuck you.”

  “Oooooh.” He liked the sound of that better.

  “I’m going to take you hard and rough so you’ll feel it later today and remember who your ass belongs to when you’re watching that parade.”

  “Ooooooooooh.” He really liked the sound of that. “I could use a little reminder, lover.”

  “It won’t be a little one.”

  No, no it wouldn’t. No complaint there. “I’ve missed you,” he whispered.

  “Baby, we haven’t fucked in like three days. Not sure why you’re having a meltdown over that.”

  “You’ve been distant.”

  “I just have a lot on my mind.”

  “Okay, then let’s clear it by breaking our long dry spell.”

  “You must’ve missed the part where I said I was fucking you.”

  “I didn’t miss it. You’re just going way too slowly.”

  “So, my Teddy Bear wants me to rush?”

  Oh, he loved when Adam called him his Teddy Bear. “No, not rush, but get the action started.”

  “The action has already started, T-bear. We’re both hard.”

  “Obvi—” His smart response was smothered by Adam’s mouth.

  He groaned as their tongues tangled and fought, Adam trying to take control and Teddy giving him some resistance.

  He didn’t want to be considered easy, after all.

  His heart thumped with joy as he grabbed Adam’s whisker-covered cheeks and deepened the kiss. Those skillful lips could make a man’s toes curl.

  Oh, right. They already had!

  Adam allowed Teddy to control the kiss for just a smidgeon and then the tables turned.

  Adam forced Teddy’s tongue out of his mouth and reminded his fiancé who normally took control.

  Normally.

  Because on occasion he’d let Teddy top him, but it was extremely rare and usually a special occasion since Adam had to have quite a few beers in him first. Since he was not a bottom.

  He had learned that early on when he was exploring his sexuality. So for him to bottom for Teddy meant a lot.

  But he wasn’t bottoming for Teddy this morning. Hell no. Right now he was annoyed that, one, Teddy woke him up for no good reason, and two, Teddy was letting worry about nothing eat at him.

  His fiancé tended to get a bit dramatic over the smallest things.

  It was one thing he loved about him. And one he also needed a lot of patience about. Because sometimes it could be too much.

  Yes, his lover was right. Adam had been very distracted lately and it wasn’t due to trying to make detective. It really had nothing to do with that.

  But Adam couldn’t tell Teddy the truth. Not yet. Tomorrow was Christmas and he didn’t want to ruin anything.

  Plus, he needed to get through working one more shift before he could start a desperately needed week of vacation. He had a trip planned to Aruba and was keeping that from Teddy. It was part of his surprise Christmas present.

  Adam could already hear the high-pitched squeal of excitement. And then picture the worry that would overtake Teddy as he panicked about closing down his shop for a week. But last week he gave Amanda the key to Manes on Main and had her call all of Teddy’s appointments to reschedule them without him knowing.

  Everything was going as planned. As long as Teddy didn’t fuck it up.

  Which he could do very easily.

  All his future husband had to do is get into one of his “snits” and all the planning Adam had done could get flushed down the toilet.

  But now was not the time to worry about any possible Teddy disasters. Right now, he needed to show his Teddy Bear just how much he still loved and wanted him.

  Since, a
pparently, that was in question.

  He ended the kiss, ignoring Teddy’s noise of complaint, which turned into noises of encouragement as Adam made his way down his lover’s long, lean body, scraping his rough morning scruff over Teddy’s well-exfoliated and deeply moisturized skin. First planting a kiss on each nipple, then flicking the pebbled tips with his tongue.

  Teddy made a purring sound and grabbed the top of Adam’s head encouraging him even lower.

  He licked the narrow line of hair down the center of his belly and paused, placing a kiss over the scissor tattoo that decorated one hip.

  Teddy took his salon business seriously. He was good at it and very successful with plenty of loyal customers who didn’t give a flying fuck that their hairdresser was gay.

  Even the “blue hairs”—what Teddy called his elderly regulars—thought he was a “hoot.” And, luckily, seemed to be very supportive of his and Adam’s relationship.

  Which made moving to Manning Grove to join the PD a bit easier.

  That didn’t mean all the area folks accepted them, there were plenty who didn’t. Including Teddy’s own family who avoided them like the plague. As if homosexuality could be caught like a virus.

  For the most part, Teddy’s parents avoided town, but the few times they’d run into them, they acted like Teddy was invisible. In fact, one time while he and Teddy were in Dino’s Diner on their regular lunch meetup, his parents walked in, spotted the two of them and walked out without a word or even a sign of recognition.

  It was heartbreaking and he was glad Ron and Mary Ann had brought Teddy into their family fold. Even Adam’s own parents were more than accepting of their relationship and welcomed Teddy as their future son-in-law.

  He was lucky his parents weren’t judgmental and never had been. So, he couldn’t imagine being “shunned” by your own family for being true to yourself.

  He would love to have a few words with Teddy’s parents but he knew it wasn’t worth alienating them any further. Honestly, he just didn’t give a shit about them. They would never change their ways or their views, which were narrow.

  They might not want Teddy in their life but there were plenty of other people who did.