The Theory of Unrequited

by Len Webster

“What are you thinking right now?”

  She pursed her lips at him. “That I had really great seats and that I’ve never been this far from the main event. And you should sit down so I can relax and not feel all this anxiety and fear that we’re going to get caught.”

  He chuckled. “We’re not doing anything wrong.”

  “We’re Red Sox fans,” she hissed, glancing around them to see if any of the Rockies supporters had heard her.

  Evan adjusted his cap. “You’re the Red Sox fan, AJ. Not me.”

  “Keep your voice down!”

  “Stop being so scared.” The teasing in his voice only heightened her paranoia. AJ reached out, grasped his hand, and yanked him to sit. “Fine. I’m not going to get you a hot dog during the seventh-inning stretch.”

  AJ glared at him as the supporters around them got to their feet and started cheering, indicating that the Rockies players had walked onto the field. “We’re only going to be here for the first inning.”

  “No. The entire game.”

  “No way!”

  “Yes way!”

  “Evan, I am not missing ‘Sweet Caroline’ from my regular seat. There is no way I’m going to be here, in this very spot, at the bottom of the eighth. Got it?”

  Her best friend threw an arm around her shoulder and rolled his eyes at her. “Yeah, all right. We’ll stay here until the seventh-inning stretch.”

  She smiled, loving that he had folded to her demands so quickly.

  Then suddenly, she heard someone say, “No way!”

  AJ ignored them as she continued to smile at Evan.

  “It’s Little Miss Red Sox in a Colorado Rockies cap!” another person said in horror.

  She clenched her eyes tight as she felt Evan hold her close.

  “What a disgrace!” someone spat out.

  “Boston strong, my ass. What a liar!”

  “Next, she’s going to be wearing a Yankees jersey!”

  Then she heard loud gasps, and she pried her eyes open to find their faces on the jumbo screen. She could see her bright pink cheeks and Evan’s smirk.

  Boos erupted in Fenway, and her heart dipped.

  Then the “Traitor!” chants began, and Rockies and Red Sox fans sang a new rendition of “Sweet Caroline” with replaced words that had them no longer loving her. She hated to think what Kyle’s reaction to the cap she was wearing and the fact she was not in her regular seat would be.

  “Trust me,” Evan whispered in her ear as he stood and reached into his back pocket. He pulled out what looked like a folded sign, glancing at her with a please, trust me expression on his face as he unfolded the sign.

  AJ nodded.

  Evan then smiled, and Fenway Park erupted in cheers.

  Her brows furrowed at the instant change in atmosphere.

  She turned her head to look at the jumbo screen to find Evan with a sign that had her chest tightening. He promised to take care of her, and he did. He had an insurance plan if today backfired. And that insurance plan was a sign that read:

  WE’RE DOING THIS FOR CHARITY!

  KYLE IS STILL OUR FAVORITE RED SOX.

  AJ let out a laugh, knowing that her best friend would have hated making that sign. Then he looked down at her. “Take your jacket off. They want to know who you really support. But keep the cap on.”

  Standing up, she noticed the wide eyes of the fans below her as her finger and thumb found the zipper of her jacket. Her eyes found Evan as she unzipped her jacket and removed it. The cheers became deafening as eyes found her allegiance remained strong with her Red Sox jersey, giving the Fenway faithful what they wanted.

  She glanced over at the diamond to find Kyle staring up at them. She was thankful she was so far away that she couldn’t make out his expression. But she knew he wasn’t happy.

  As camera flashes directed their way, Evan snaked an arm around her back and brought her close, tearing her gaze from Kyle. Then he whispered, “See. You never have to worry, AJ. I’ll never let them hate you.”

  And for a single moment, something in her chest exploded.

  The Red Sox won their second game in the series against the Rockies. During the seventh-inning stretch, AJ and Evan ran to their regular seats to watch the eighth inning and sing “Sweet Caroline” after the game ended. The Red Sox had won by five runs. While AJ and Evan had been in the stands, they made friends with a lot of Rockies fans.

  She had never had more fun at Fenway Park in her entire life.

  “Best game ever,” she declared as she got up from her seat. The stadium began to empty as she stretched out her arms with a smile. Then she watched Evan stand. “You know we’re going to have to find a charity to donate to so they know you didn’t lie.”

  Evan stepped toward her. No smirk on his face as he set his hands on her cheeks and then kissed the top of her head. It was so sweet and innocent as he had done it a million times before, but he hadn’t. It was as rare as her full name from his lips. Evan pulled back, and his hands fell away from her and disappeared into his jacket pockets, producing two checks and handing them to her.

  AJ grasped them in her hands as she glanced at the amount and who they were for.

  “Five thousand dollars? To the Red Sox Foundation and Colorado Rockies charity?”

  He nodded. “Might as well do something with the money my parents wire me every week. We can continue—”

  “Alexi,” Kyle interrupted him.

  She spun around to find him still in his uniform with dirt stains on his legs. “Hey. Great game.”

  He didn’t smile.

  She wasn’t sure why she was stupid enough to think he would be happy to see her.

  He won.

  But she knew they had made him look like a fool.

  “Can I talk to you alone for a second?”

  “Yeah, sure,” she said. She handed Evan back the checks and followed Kyle toward the tunnel.

  When he halted, he faced her with disappointment flaring in his eyes. “What the hell, Alexi?”

  She swallowed hard at the roughness of his voice. “I …”

  “How could you be so stupid?” he roared.

  “Kyle,” she pleaded.

  He stepped closer, and she felt his rage within his proximity. “You put my image in jeopardy today. Do you know what it felt like to see you and my brother wearing another team’s cap with smiles on your faces? I was embarrassed. People know who you are, Alexi. You’re not just a friend. People associate you with me. Don’t you see that?”

  “I’m sorry.”

  “God, Alexi. How could you do something so stupid? What if my brother didn’t have that sign, huh? He risked your image. He risked your safety. You know how passionate Red Sox fans are. What if your stupid prank had backfired?”

  “But it didn’t,” she reminded, hoping he would calm down.

  “My little brother is a bad influence on you. You’re a senior. Everything you do affects your future. What are colleges going to think, huh? You’re so smart, and you let him talk you into stupid decisions. What’s next? He’s going to convince you to dump tea into the harbor because he feels like it and wants you to live a little? My brother is a fucking idiot, Alexi. And you need to stop hanging out with him.”

  “That’s enough, Kyle,” Evan demanded, causing AJ to flinch.

  She looked over her shoulder to see the younger Gilmore brother walking toward them.

  “You know what? No. You pressure her into doing shit she shouldn’t be doing!”

  Once Evan made it down the tunnel, he stood next to her and reassuringly pressed his hand on her shoulder. His look told her that everything was going to be okay, and she nodded, understanding him as if they were having a silent conversation.

  “I’m not doing anything wrong, Kyle. She’s safe. Everything we do is always wrong to you. D
idn’t you see the smile on AJ’s face? She was having fun. Haven’t you ever realized that when she’s here, she pretends for you. She pretends to be the perfect image for you because she’s too damn scared to let you down.”

  AJ winced at the hurt that consumed Kyle’s face.

  “I know what’s best for her, Evan.”

  “You don’t.” Evan dropped his hand from her shoulder. “You think you do because you’re the famous Kyle Gilmore. You have no idea what’s best for AJ. I do because I’m her best friend.”

  “And I’m—” Kyle’s face paled as he shut his mouth, and his wide eyes met hers.

  “You’re what, Kyle?” Evan asked as if he were egging his older brother on.

  “I’m …”

  Evan stepped closer and shoved the checks to his brother’s chest. “Exactly. I’m her best friend. Not you. Don’t ever call her stupid again. You and I both know she’s far from that.” Evan turned and shot her a smile. “Let’s go, AJ.”

  He held his hand out to her, and she couldn’t look away from the pleading in Kyle’s brown eyes. It was clear they had so many things left unsaid. But Evan was right. She was Evan’s best friend. Not Kyle’s.

  And that had her putting her hand in Evan’s and whispering, “I’m sorry, Kyle,” as he led her down the tunnel and toward the exits. When they left Fenway Park, Evan pushed her against the brick wall of the stadium and pressed his palms on either side of her face.

  His nostrils flared as his chest heaved.

  She had never seen this side of Evan before.

  “Tell me you don’t believe him,” he demanded.

  “What?” she breathed.

  “Tell me!”

  She flinched. “Evan, I …”

  “You’re not stupid, AJ. Please, tell me his words haven’t hurt you. His words haven’t affected you. Because you’re not. You’re not stupid, okay?”

  Undefined tears glazed over her eyes as she saw the pleading in Evan’s. She shook her head. “No. I don’t believe him. I know I’m not stupid. Not with you. It’s you and me, Evan. It’s always you and me.”

  He let out a heavy breath. “I’m so sorry I raised my voice at you.”

  “It’s okay.”

  “It’s not. You can be mad at me, AJ. Just don’t be mad at me for too long, okay?”

  A small smile touched her lips as she reached up and cupped his jaw. Then she nodded. “Okay.”

  “I’m still angry with him.”

  Her thumb brushed across his cheek. “Want to just drive around before we go home?”

  He nodded. “North or south?”

  AJ mulled it over, loving that she had the power to calm him and make him forget his rage—even if it was only for a little while. “South.”

  “Rhode Island?”

  “Further.”

  “Connecticut?”

  “Further.”

  “New York?”

  She nodded. “New York.”

  9 F

  fluorine

  AJ

  ALEX

  Now

  The Georgian style architecture of Wilson dorms had Alex smiling. She glanced over to her right and took in Baldwin Auditorium. She stood outside it, staring at its beauty and intricate design for a few minutes with her parents before they unpacked the family SUV to move in. It was a new experience for her mother since she had graduated from culinary school in Australia. Clara Parker had lived off campus when she did a short stint at Boston University before she found out she was pregnant with Alex. Being an only child, she knew it was her parents’ only college freshman move-in day experience, so she gave them their chance to take it in.

  That had been yesterday.

  And yesterday, she had left behind AJ.

  Today, she was Alex.

  The very Alex moving into her Duke dorm room.

  With the help of some volunteers, the car was quickly unloaded, and Alex had moved in and decorated within a few hours. Since her parents wanted to stick around and paid for an extra night at their luxury hotel, Alex hadn’t spent the night alone in her dorm. Instead, she stayed at the hotel so she could spend her first night in her dorm with her new roommate.

  The roommate she found out she had during the drive from New York.

  They had exchanged a few emails.

  Her new roommate only had one request; that their color scheme for their dorm room was not orange or anything so bright it was offending. Alex had laughed at the email and promised no orange.

  Her roommate’s name was Savannah, and she was from Vermont.

  Besides a few exchanges about their dorm room, there hadn’t been much more to learn about Savannah.

  “Ready to go inside?” her father asked.

  Alex glanced over to find him holding the last box from the car. It was the box filled with everything that would go on her desk. She had taken it to the hotel with her so she could add more supplies she bought with her parents yesterday. Her mother also carried a box of snacks to put in the container under Alex’s bed.

  “Yeah,” Alex said.

  “I can’t wait to meet your roommate, Alexandra.”

  She smiled. She was excited, too. Alex didn’t have many girlfriends. A few girls in high school were always nice to her, but she had Evan, and he was the only friend she needed.

  Evan.

  Guilt instantly knocked the wind out of her.

  It had been a day since she was supposed to meet him at that ice cream shop in LA. He had called and called, but she ignored his calls.

  As she opened the door to her dorm room for the very first time, he sent her a message saying he had arrived at the shop.

  As she moved in, his calls brightened her cell’s screen. He left text messages. He left voice messages long after the sun had set in Durham and long after Alex was in her hotel bed, staring at pictures of them at one in the morning.

  She was a coward.

  She had been a coward for months.

  Evan hadn’t deserved what she had done to him.

  Sure, he had never loved her right or back, but he was good to her.

  When he wasn’t so selfish, he was the greatest person in the world.

  But when he did think of his own needs, he burned her heart with no remorse.

  And those memories were what she replayed when she thought of him sitting alone, waiting for her. She had never broken a promise to Evan, but it was time she surprised him for once.

  This time, it had to be about her and her future.

  She would no longer make his dreams her own.

  Alex led her parents to the white painted door and used her key card to enter Wilson dormitory. She was relieved when she was assigned to Wilson. She was told it was close to the science department and all her upcoming classes, which meant she wouldn’t have to walk across campus to make her morning lectures. They climbed the steps to her floor and rounded the corner until they reached the last door in the hall. Reaching into her bag, she pulled out her lanyard and inserted the key into the lock. She turned it until it clicked and then opened the door. Stepping inside, she found a blonde holding a box in the middle of the room.

  “Hi,” she greeted with a slight Southern accent. “You must be my roommate. Alexandra, right?”

  She smiled, relieved that she appeared nice. Alex ventured into the room so that her parents could enter and close the door behind her. “Hey. Yeah, but just call me Alex. Only my parents call me that.”

  Her mouth dropped as she gaped at her. “Oh, sweet Lord. You have an accent!”

  She laughed. “You do, too. Not an accent I’d expect from someone from Vermont.”

  Savannah set the box she held on her bed and grinned. “I’m originally from Southport, North Carolina. Moved to Vermont with my dad. I did not expect a—South African?”

 
Her father let out a groan. “South African, really?”

  She rolled her eyes, causing Savannah to giggle. “Dad, could you just put the box on my bed? Mum, the snacks in the container?”

  “So you’re not South African?”

  Her mother laughed as she walked past Alex and set her box on the bed. “No. We’re Australian. I’m Clara, Alexandra’s mother. And this is her father, Noel.”

  “Nice to meet, y’all. Call me Sav.” Then Savannah walked up to Alex and watched as her parents got to work putting the snacks into the container under her bed. “Your parents are stunning.” She glanced up at Alex with bright blue eyes. “You, my dear friend, are unfairly blessed in the genes department.”

  “Umm … thank you?”

  Savannah winked and then returned to her bed. “I hope y’all don’t mind my mess. I’ve gotta build a few things. So if I get in the way, just let me know.”

  “What are you building?” Alex asked as she walked over to find the flat pack opened and a pair of scissors next to it.

  “Another bookshelf, if that’s okay? I’m sorry I don’t have a lot of furniture to contribute.” The embarrassment on Savannah’s face had Alex shaking her head.

  “It’s okay. Trust me, the fridge and microwave were all my parents’ idea. So please feel free to use it. What’s mine is yours, Sav.” For a moment, Alex found warmth in knowing that she could be Savannah’s friend during college. She feared that she wouldn’t know how to make any without Evan—but she felt like she was doing it right.

  “Thanks, Alex. That’s very sweet. I have some stuff in my truck that I think could make this room feel like home. I bought a rug.”

  Alex laughed at her roommate’s excitement.

  “Are your parents bringing in the rest of your things?”

  Savannah’s smile quickly faded. “Ah, no. My mom doesn’t really care that I’m in college, and my dad wanted to, but he’s workin’ two jobs to pay for everything. So it’s just me. I’m sorry that I’ll be making frequent trips. If you want the room for a while, I can just—”

  “No,” Alex said, stopping Savannah’s fast mumbling. “Dad, you don’t mind helping with Savannah’s furniture, do you?”