The Theory of Unrequited

by Len Webster

  For a single moment, she let herself hold the fact that she and Landon shared an understanding that no one else in the stadium got.

  She was Massachusetts, and he was Connecticut.

  And it was more than just state names to them.

  When the buzzer sounded, Duke had won by six points. AJ still didn’t get the whole foul rule and the free throws, but she was sure that if she had sat down and really paid attention, she’d get it. Basketball was definitely a different ballgame to baseball. It was a lot faster and felt more intense watching. AJ couldn’t take her eyes off Landon as he played. From what she could tell, he played a good game. He blocked a lot of throws but had been fouled a few times. Savannah continuously updated her on what was going on during the game. Toward the end, Savannah gave up and told her that as long as Duke kept scoring and blocking the Red Foxes’ plays, they were winning.

  And they did.

  AJ was surprised to find herself cheering along with the crowd. She loved the atmosphere. She loved being in the stadium. After four intense quarters that made her heart beat wildly with every second that passed, her impression of basketball had changed. When AJ was about to follow the crowd out of the stadium, Savannah stopped her and said she should stay back with some of the students to cheer. Once the stadium was almost empty, AJ finally got out of her seat and began to walk down the stairs.

  “So do you like basketball now?” Savannah asked her.

  She laughed. “It’s tolerable. But you know my heart belongs to baseball.”

  Once they reached the bottom of the stairs, they turned and made their way toward the exit. They had almost made it when she heard someone shout out, “Massachusetts!”

  AJ halted her steps, waited a moment, and then spun around to find Landon in unexpected attire. He was wearing a suit with a blue tie.

  “I’ll wait outside,” Savannah announced and left her side far too quickly for AJ to tell her to stay.

  Swallowing back her hesitation, AJ pressed her lips into a smile as she walked over to congratulate him on his team’s win and how he played. Step after step, she made her way toward him as a smile graced his lips. Finally, she stopped in front of him and tilted her chin up so she could look at him properly. AJ was average height, but next to him, she felt unbelievably small.

  “I knew you’d show up.” Landon’s statement wasn’t cocky. It was full of relief.

  “I thought I’d find some school spirit.”

  His grin deepened as his bright blue eyes sparkled. “How’d that search go?”

  “It was surprising. I don’t understand basketball, but I’m pretty sure you played great, but don’t take my word for it just in case you don’t think you played well. But I thought you did … and I’m babbling. So to spare this awkwardness, congratulations on winning against the Red Foxes tonight.”

  Landon’s eyes drifted down to her chest, and he began to laugh.

  “What?” she asked, confused.

  “Is that pi on your sweater?”

  AJ glanced down at her gray sweater and then focused back on Landon and nodded. “It’s pi,” she confirmed as her cheeks heated in embarrassment. “Umm … my roommate is waiting. I should go.”

  Landon stepped forward the moment she took a step back. “Wait.”

  She stilled at his command. “Okay.”

  “At least let me know your real name before you go. As cute as it is, I can’t continue to call you Massachusetts forever,” he said.

  AJ smiled as she took another step back. “The next time we see each other, I’ll give you my name. Goodbye, Connecticut.”

  She had spun around and began to walk toward the stadium exit when she heard him shout, “Massachusetts!”

  She stopped, loving the way her heart squeezed at his name for her.

  “If you turn around, that’s us meeting again, don’t you think?”

  The hope in his voice had AJ biting her lip as she mulled it over. She could walk away and play their game a little longer, but she knew if she pushed too much, he might pull away. He might get bored of her or even realize she wasn’t as interesting as he thought she was. It was the first time in her life that anyone had ever found her somewhat desirable. He wasn’t Kyle, and he wasn’t Evan. They were two loves of her life. One was someone she looked up to as a brother, and the other was the one she had fallen in love with and let shatter her.

  AJ knew it was the only way to get over Evan. To give her heart a chance at real normality. To have it be adored by someone who would take care of and appreciate it.

  And AJ knew Landon could potentially be that guy.

  With that thought in mind, AJ spun around to see Landon’s smile stretch wider. “It’s Alex.”

  Nodding, he stepped forward. “Short for?”

  “Alexandra Parker from Brookline, Massachusetts.”

  Landon took another step, closing the distance between them. “Landon Carmichael, New Haven, Connecticut.”

  And then they fell silent as they stared at each other.

  They knew each other’s name.

  They were no longer just Massachusetts and Connecticut.

  Something in his blue eyes swirled, and she couldn’t decipher just what exactly took hold of his eyes. But whatever it was caused that breathlessness she wasn’t used to. Afraid she’d make herself look like an idiot, AJ stepped back and cleared her throat.

  “I have to go,” she reminded not him but herself.

  Names were shared, but that would be it.

  “Wait. Before you go …”

  “Yes?”

  “The next time I see you, Alex, I promise I’ll ask you to dinner.”

  Oh, God.

  She knew she was in trouble. Her heart with its abnormalities was proof enough that she was. So without another word, she nodded and then turned back around, making her way out of the stadium and away from the basketball player who affected her in the most confusing way possible.

  Almost a week later, AJ was in bed after a day full of lectures and classes. Her mind wanted to rest from her classes, so she had bypassed the coffee shop she and Savannah normally went to and went straight to her dorm room. AJ had dropped her bags on the floor, kicked off her shoes, and climbed into bed. She had picked up her iPad next to her and searched through Netflix to find something to play as background music. She hadn’t really been paying attention when she did watch. She normally just watched the characters move or do whatever it was they were doing. She mindlessly watched as she thought through what had happened in class today. Normally, she lasted about twenty minutes before she locked her iPad and pulled out her textbooks.

  Just as AJ had opened a new TV series that looked interesting enough, her phone rang. She lifted her hips and pulled her phone out from her back pocket. She smiled when she noticed his name. Sliding her thumb along the screen, she answered his call and held her phone to her ear.

  “Hey,” she greeted as she pressed her head back down on the pillow.

  “Hey, Alexi. How are you?”

  AJ stared at the ceiling of her dorm room. “Tired. But I’m good. How are you?”

  “I’m good, too, kid. Hey, so I couriered you a present, but they need you to sign for it outside your dorm room. Are you busy?”

  “You sent me a present?” she asked as she got onto her elbows.

  “Yeah. Is that all right?”

  She smiled. “You shouldn’t have.”

  “Just go downstairs before they leave and send it back.”

  AJ threw her legs over the bed. “On my way. Call them back and tell them I’ll be there in a minute.” She got off her bed and slipped on her shoes. Then AJ walked over to her bag and pulled out her wallet in case they needed to see her ID. “I’ll call you back once I get back to my room, okay?”

  “Sure. Bye, Alexi. Call me if you have any problems.”
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br />   “Will do,” AJ said and then hung up the phone, sliding it in her back pocket. She grabbed her lanyard from the hook by the door and exited her dorm room.

  AJ made her way downstairs, smiling and saying hello to the students in her dormitory who had always been nice to her in passing. Once AJ made it downstairs and out of Wilson, she found no courier outside. Her brows creased, finding no delivery truck nearby. Then she noticed someone a few yards in front of her wearing a black baseball cap. He had his hands in his jacket pockets with his chin down. She squinted at the man with the baseball cap and noticed his silver necklace.

  “Kyle,” she breathed as he lifted his chin and his eyes found her. AJ broke into a run. She didn’t stop until she threw herself at him and wrapped her arms around his neck. “Oh, my God. What are you doing here?”

  She laughed the moment his hands wrapped around her back, and he lifted her off the ground. It was nostalgic to have her arms around him. He was a sense of home. A sense of who she was. College was liberating, but when she wasn’t in class or with Savannah, college was lonely. Made worse when she thought of how she should have spent her freshman year with Evan. But here, with Kyle, she felt better. She missed him. She missed everything about Massachusetts, and he was a reminder of what she had left behind.

  The moment Kyle set her back down, AJ pulled herself away, realizing just where they were. “Kyle, someone might see you. You have to—”

  He grasped her face in his palms and shook his head. “Kid, no one is going to realize it’s me. There’s a report out that several key players are training in Florida. I just didn’t get on the same plane as those key players. I’ll meet them later.”

  She couldn’t help the silly smile on her face. “So you’re here. With me for …?”

  “Unfortunately, just for dinner,” he revealed, and his thumb swept across her cheek.

  Nodding, AJ took a step back and distanced herself from Kyle’s gentle touches. It was nice and familiar, but it did nothing to her. It never did anything to her. She knew he loved her—he’d told her many times before—but she just couldn’t love him that way. Kyle Gilmore was a man of sweet talk and words. She’d never seen him take action. This might be one of those rare moments, but she knew she could never love Kyle intimately. Her love for him was not the love he desperately sought.

  Her phone vibrating had her reaching behind her and pulling it from her back pocket. She unlocked it and read the message her roommate had just sent her.

  Savannah: Meet after?

  She glanced up at Kyle and smiled. He had snuck away from his duties to see her. She couldn’t turn him away.

  AJ: Can’t. I’m sorry, Sav. Have someone from home visiting for a few hours.

  Savannah: Is it your parents? If so, can I stop by and just thank them again for helping me move in? I still feel bad that they had to do that.

  AJ: It’s not my parents.

  Savannah: Is it Evan? Oh, my God! How did he find you?

  Her heart sank.

  Deeper.

  And deeper, did it sink.

  Settling into the pit of her stomach.

  She didn’t dare look up at Kyle, for fear that her sudden pain shone on her face. So she replied back to Savannah and decided that she needed a catch up with Kyle.

  Just Kyle.

  Focus on Kyle.

  AJ: It’s Kyle. We’re going out to dinner. You’re okay with me bailing? I’ll make it up to you.

  Savannah: Darn. I thought Evan would be your knight in shining armor and somehow find you. Don’t worry about making it up to me. Just have a good time. I’ll be in our dorm. Don’t order dessert! I’m bringing home ice cream.

  AJ: No dessert. Got it. I’ll see you later.

  Once AJ sent Savannah her final message, she tucked her phone back into her pocket and tilted her chin up at Kyle.

  “You don’t mind if we eat off campus, do you?” he asked. His brown eyes glimmered as his smile stretched into that dazzling smile that graced all the sports magazines he had covered. But the way his eyes shone at her, that was for her and not the media.

  AJ shook her head. “No, that’s perfect. I’ve seen a few Yankees fans. They’ll definitely know who you are.”

  Laughing, Kyle took her hand and asked, “Got it. Ready to go?”

  “Yup. Let’s go.”

  The Italian restaurant they sat in definitely promised them peace and privacy from any baseball fans. It was expensive. She’d read in the paper in the common room that it was one of the finest restaurants in Durham. It had come second in the critic’s choice of best restaurants in North Carolina, narrowly losing to a French restaurant in Charlotte. Unlike her mother’s restaurant in Boston, Improvvisare had a darker color palette. It was fine dining and seemed to be a hit with an older crowd. AJ glanced down at the glass of wine Kyle had ordered her. She knew that if anyone caught them, that glass of wine would be a talking point. Reaching over, she gently slid it toward him as Kyle’s brow rose.

  “You want white instead?”

  AJ shook her head. “No, thank you. I appreciate it, but I can’t take any chances.”

  “Alexi, no one knows—”

  “I know. But I’m still underage. It won’t look good if someone takes our picture together, and they see that I have alcohol.”

  Realization consumed his face and guilt quickly followed. “You’re right. I wasn’t thinking,” he said as he picked up the glass and set it next to him. Then he took his sparkling water and set it next to her. “I forget that you’re …”

  “A lot younger than you?” she offered.

  Kyle nodded. “Yeah. You’re a lot younger. I can still remember the day Noel and Clara came back from the hospital with you. Sometimes, I forget that I should be the one looking out for you. All you’ve done since I’ve gone pro is look out for me and support me.”

  “I told you; I’ll always be your number one fan, Kyle.”

  He reached out and covered her hand with his. “You’ve always been good to me, Alexi. Anyway, how are you?”

  “I’m good,” she said with a smile.

  He squinted at her, skeptical of her quick response. “How are you really?”

  She reached out and picked up her drink and sipped the sparkling water. When she set the glass down, she sighed. “College wise, I’m good. I like Duke.”

  “But you don’t love it?”

  “I’m sure I will someday, but right now, no, I don’t love Duke. I love my roommate, and after all this, I’m glad to have her. But it’s not Stanford with Evan, and it’s not MIT, which was my dream. It’s a compromise. And for a compromise, it’s been really good to me.”

  He squeezed her hand. “Have you heard from him?”

  “No,” she said, not wanting to tell him that Evan had sent her a hate-filled email just a week ago. He had sent her many more emails since, but she didn’t have the heart, stomach, or strength to read any more of his hate.

  Hate that she had forced him to live with.

  Hate that she created within him.

  Hate that AJ deserved completely.

  “Alexi, I know that’s a lie. He still messages me daily about hoping to hear from you.”

  Her lips parted at the revelation.

  Just as she would ask Kyle what Evan had said, his phone ringing had her pulling away from him. Kyle let out a groan as he reached into his pocket and took out his phone. He glanced at the screen and then at her, shooting an apologetic smile her way.

  “I’m sorry. I’ve gotta take this.”

  AJ nodded and reached for the baseball cap that sat on the chair next to them. She held it up to him. “Go. I’ll be right here when you get back.”

  Kyle took the cap from her and said, “I won’t be long,” before he walked out of the restaurant.

  As she sat on her own, she couldn’t help but
wonder what Evan could want from her. He said his true feelings in the email he had sent to her last week. He made it quite clear that he hated her, and that she would never be his best friend ever again. He made it sure that the final breaks in her heart were the harshest slices.

  But she deserved it.

  Every word.

  Every ounce of hate.

  All of it.

  “Hey, Massachusetts.”

  No …

  AJ turned her head to find Landon with a smile on his face. He was dressed in black dress pants, a white business top, and wore a skinny black tie. His brown hair was brushed back, and he looked nice.

  Better than nice.

  He was even more attractive than when he found out that her name was Alex last week. But it was that smile, the way he looked at her, that made him that attractive. It was as if he looked at her and saw someone special, and that made her heart skip a beat, made her throat dry, and her stomach fill with butterflies.

  He made anomalies take over her body.

  “Hey, Connecticut.” She smiled, unable to stop herself from doing so. “You look nice.”

  Landon glanced down at her, and his smile dwindled. “And you don’t have pi or any other form of math on your sweater.”

  AJ laughed. “Ah, no. Not today. But seriously, nice tie.”

  He reached up and grasped it. “Yeah. My mother made me wear it to the funeral.”

  “Oh, my God,” she whispered. “I’m so sorry, Landon.”

  Landon stepped forward and covered her hand with his. And unlike when Kyle had, she felt so much in his touch. It was strange and absurd because she barely knew him. “It’s all right, Alex. I didn’t know the man. He just worked at the same hospital as my father.”