Stanton Bliss: Stanton

by T L Swan

  “How long till we can go to our room?” He kisses me gently.

  I smirk. “Not yet.”

  The next few hours are a blur of friends, laughter and my stupid self-analysis. I lay with my head on Joshua’s lap as we all sit around the fire pit. Who texted Margaret? Why am I so damn suspicious of that text? Is it my gut instinct or am I just so untrusting of people now that I don’t know what to think? Robert and Margaret don’t seem to talk much; in fact, if I didn’t already know they were married, I would never guess they were even together. I wonder if they are still trying to work things out? Margaret is sitting at a table with Scott and his wife, and Robert hasn’t been near her for hours. Hmm.

  “You ready for bed, Presh?” That husky sexy voice purrs.

  I smile. “I am. Are you?”

  He nods sleepily and yawns. “Yes.”

  We say our goodbyes and make our way to our bedroom. I’m tired, but how is it possible to be this tired from doing nothing? I turn the corner to walk into our room and stop dead in my tracks. Joshua runs into the back of me.

  “What’s wrong?” He frowns.

  My eyes stay fixed to the small chocolate, leather bound diary that sits on my bed. I feel my heart start to beat rapidly in my chest.

  “Where did that come from?” I stammer as my breathing tightens.

  Joshua frowns as he walks past me into the room. “What?”

  “The diary.”

  “Oh, I got Cameron to pick you up a new one today,” he replies casually.

  Are you kidding me? I pick it up in a rush and carry it into my wardrobe, I throw it into a drawer and slam it shut.

  “I don’t want a diary!” I snap.

  Joshua stands still and frowns as he assesses me for a moment. “Ok. Why not?”

  I rip the blankets down with force. “I just don’t.”

  He puts his hands on his hips as he watches me, his eyes drop to the six chunky bangles on my wrist that cover my scar, and I cover them with my hand, suddenly self conscious. “What?” I snap and storm into the bathroom and turn the shower on. God, how dare he buy me a fucking diary? Why would I want to write down the shit that is in my head?

  I get into the shower and turn the water on as hot as I can stand it. Joshua, wisely, stays in the bedroom. I lean against the tiles with my heart beating through my chest in anger and I don’t even know why. That’s a lie, I do but I can’t rationalise it. Just calm down, just calm down, I keep repeating to myself, and eventually I do. Forty minutes later, feeling very drained, I exit and slowly dry myself, wrap a towel around my body and walk into the bedroom. Joshua is sitting, propped up against the headboard reading a book. He doesn’t look up and I crawl into bed feeling unstable. He leans over and kisses me gently on the lips.

  “You ok?” he asks softly, his worried eyes hold mine.

  I nod and fake a smile. I have never felt so far from ok. I feel overwhelmed and unstable and unsure why I’m feeling like this. I am home, I am safe. Why is this anxiety still with me? Am I having a panic attack? Is that what this is? Normally I would have a migraine if I get like this but there is no sign. In fact, I would welcome that feeling over this.

  “Goodnight, my precious girl. Go to sleep, baby. I’m here, it’s ok.”

  I nod nervously, lie down and turn my back to him. I concentrate on regulating my breathing as he rests his hand on my hip and soothingly rubs his hand in a circle on my behind. I feel myself slowly start to relax under his hand.

  It works, and after ten minutes with my love in our bed, I don’t remember anything else.

  Joshua

  I jump off the speeding treadmill, panting. I’m wet with perspiration, so I grab a towel to wipe myself. Nicholas has just returned from his morning run and I need to talk to him. Standing by the gate that leads from his villa into the pool area, I see him stretching.

  “Hey.” I smile as I approach him.

  He nods. “Beautiful morning.”

  I nod and hesitate. Maybe now is not the time to broach this subject.

  “Did you give it to her?” he asks.

  I nod.

  “Did she write anything down?”

  I shake my head. “No.” I bought that diary yesterday on Nicholas’ suggestion. He’s worried about Natasha. I’m worried about Natasha. She’s acting normal, as if she has been through nothing, but last night her mask slipped a little and I know she’s struggling.

  “She was agitated that the diary was there. She threw it into a drawer annoyed.”

  Nicholas nods. “I see.”

  I wipe the perspiration that keeps appearing on my forehead.

  “Its very early days, Joshua.”

  I nod. “I know.”

  “Have you discussed what happened to her at all?”

  I shake my head. “I don’t want to upset her.”

  “Has she asked you about your time in prison or anything?”

  I shake my head and frown. “No, she hasn’t and it’s weird. She normally asks me ten thousand questions a day.”

  “Do you want me to spend some time with her?”

  I put my hands on my hips to think. The last thing I want to do is upset her. “Maybe we are worried for nothing and she really is fine?” I shrug.

  He smiles. “Perhaps.”

  “She’s a strong woman.”

  “She is.”

  We are interrupted as Natasha saunters through the gate in her gym clothes. My eyes drop down to what she is wearing and the thick sweatband around her right wrist.

  “Good… morning.” I frown. “Why are you up so early?”

  “I need to work out,” she replies casually.

  My eyes flick to Nicholas. What the hell? She hates working out with a passion.

  She walks past us and saunters down the path toward the gym, seemingly without a care in the world.

  My eyes meet Nicholas’ and I shake my head.

  “Oh, and Joshua,” she calls out.

  We both turn to face her. “Can we go motorbike riding today?” she asks. “Yes of course.”

  “But I want my own bike this time.”

  I hesitate before I answer.

  “Nicholas you are coming, too. It’s so much fun.” She smiles as excitement fills her face.

  “Sure, I would love to,” he replies.

  Natasha smiles warmly and disappears out of our sight.

  I turn my attention back to Nicholas. “We’ve got a fucking problem.”

  Natasha

  We sit around a large, circular dinner table at a quaint, authentic Thai restaurant, just down from Joshua’s house. We’ve had a fun and action packed day motorbike riding around the Island. Wilson, Scott and Alyssa flew back home to Australia this afternoon, and Margaret and Robert are leaving tomorrow. The parents have met us for one last hurrah.

  Joshua has his arm slung over the back of my chair protectively as he talks to Cameron, and I smile as I watch them. I know I gave them a heart attack with my motorbike riding skills today, but I made a resolution to myself when I was escaping and running though the forest, that if I got out of there alive, I was never going to be governed by fear again. I’m going to live life to the fullest and, I’m sorry, but Joshua is going to have to learn to live with it. He stopped the bike a few times and had a tantrum, ordering me off. Even Brock, Max and Bridget were on his side.

  I raise my glass at Abbie across the table and she gives me a knowing wink. She seems to be the only one who gets me at the moment. It was me and her owning the road today. Is this how she feels all the time? Like any day could be her last and she needs to have fun at all costs. Is that why she’s so brave and doesn’t give a fuck about tomorrow?

  Today is the most normal I have felt since I returned home and I think its because Joshua was being openly hostile with me. I like my hostile man. I’ve missed my hostile man. I feel like I want to push all the boundaries and make him control me, and I’m not sure where this is coming from, but I really don’t care.

  My eyes flick
to the door of the restaurant. Where is Mum? She’s with Peter and they were supposed to be here half an hour ago. I decide to give her a quick call.

  “Can I use your phone?” I ask Joshua.

  “I don’t have it with me.” His thumb gently circles on my collarbone and he smiles sexily. Hmm, hot, edible man.

  I smirk and look around the table. Nobody has their phone. We were all riding bikes the whole day. Margaret’s phone is on the table in front of her.

  “Can I use your phone, Margaret, to call Mum, please?” I ask.

  “Sure, love.” She swipes in her code and hands it to me as she gets up to go to the bathroom. I dial Mum’s number.

  “Hello, love. We are around the corner,” Mum answers.

  “Ok.” I smile and hang up.

  Everyone is deep in discussion around the table and my eyes flicker around guiltily, dropping to the phone in my hand. Before I can stop myself, I drop the phone down to my lap to shield it from the others and click into call register.

  Deirdre

  Deirdre

  Deirdre

  2:00 a.m. this morning. A two-hour call to Deirdre.

  Who is fucking Deirdre?

  I frown and swipe through to contacts and click on Deirdre’s phone number.

  0414356232.

  Shit, how do I remember this number?

  Try to remember the last four digits.

  6232, 6232, 6232 I repeat in my head.

  I swipe the phone off and pass it back up the table.

  6232, 6232, 6232 I repeat.

  The table is full of deep conversation, and Max and the other guards are at the table next to us. Who is Deirdre? Why so many calls? How could she have a two-hour conversation with her in the middle of the night and not wake Robert? I don’t know, and I don’t even know why I am thinking about this shit?

  “Are you hungry, Presh?” Joshua gently kisses the side of my face as he tucks a piece of my hair behind my ear.

  I smile at my beautiful man. “I am, are you?”

  He smiles darkly and his eyes drop to my lips. “Not for food.”

  I bite my bottom lip to stifle my smile. Truth be known, I think Joshua liked screaming at me today, too. It felt normal that he was angry with me – a relief, even.

  “What would you like for dessert, Joshua?” I whisper.

  He bends and whispers into my ear. “I think you know, my beautiful slut.” His breath on my neck gives me goose bumps and a shudder of excitement runs through me.

  I will never tire of this conversation, of this feeling.

  Three hours later, dinner is over and, after going for a long walk and stopping at a bar for a drink, we have arrived back in our home.

  “I’m having a shower, Presh. Are you coming?” Joshua kisses me on the forehead as he walks past me sitting in the lounge.

  “Yes, be there in a minute.”

  I watch him disappear into our bedroom, and without thinking, I pick up his phone from the coffee table. As if on autopilot, I scroll through his contacts until I get to the one I want.

  James Brennan: 0414356232.

  I close my eyes in regret.

  Holy fuck.

  Chapter 3

  Snooping. The double edged sword. The Heaven to my Hell.

  You think you want to know something, but then you wish you didn’t know it. Margaret has been speaking to James Brennan, not just once, but a lot of times. Two hours in the middle of the night. How do you speak to an abuser that you hate for two hours? What is there to say?

  I lay in bed as I go over the conversations Margaret and I have had before in regards to James. She said she loved him at one stage, but then he turned into an abuser and she hated him. Was that just all fucking bullshit? Did he really beat her? Did Robert beat her and she has used James as a cover? What the hell is going on?

  I hear Joshua fussing around in the kitchen and the sound of the shaker with ice. I smile. My man is back on his protein. This is a good sign. Normalcy is returning to his life.

  He walks in while taking a sip and sits on the end of the bed. “Morning, Presh.”

  I smile at his I’ve-been-to-the-gym glow of perspiration. “Good morning, Mr. Stanton.”

  He smiles sexily at my playful tone. “What would my wife like to do today?”

  “Hmm, let me think.” I smirk.

  He bends and kisses the top of my foot as he runs his hand up under the blanket towards my thigh. “Do you need a wake up fuck?” he whispers as his eyes drop to my lips.

  “Sex maniac,” I mouth.

  He winks mischievously as he bends and kisses my thigh through the sheet.

  “How long are we staying here?” I ask.

  “How long do you want to stay?”

  “A bit longer.” I grab his hand. “I don’t want to go back just yet.”

  “Of course, but I will have to work from here, though, and I do have to be back in two weeks for a meeting.”

  “Ok.” I smile gratefully. “What time do your parents leave?”

  “I think their flight leaves about seven tonight.”

  I nod and I look out of the window towards the ocean in thought.

  “We will have lunch with them today, if that’s ok? I may not see them for a while. They’ve both dropped everything for us for six weeks. My father needs to get back to work on Monday.”

  My eyes meet his. “Are him and your mother working it out?”

  He shrugs. “I don’t know, I haven’t asked. Their fucked up relationship hasn’t been on the top of my agenda.”

  “Hmm.” My mind ticks over at a million miles per minute.

  “What’s happened with James Brennan?” I ask. “Did you ever have him charged?”

  He shakes his head. “No, with all the shit that went down, in the grand scheme of things, he was forgotten.”

  My eyes hold his. “Did he pay you back the money?”

  He raises his eyebrows. “Funnily enough, Murph said it hit my account yesterday.”

  I frown. What the hell is going on? Maybe she was just talking him into paying the money back?

  “What’s going on with your father and him?”

  Joshua gets off the bed and walks into the bathroom. “I don’t know and don’t care. Dad said he was taking care of it. God knows what that means?”

  “Is James still married?” I call out.

  “Fuck knows,” he calls back.

  Hmm, why doesn’t he know anything? God, he’s annoying. I need to get some answers. I get out of bed, quickly dress and head outside while Joshua showers. Max is sitting out the front garden reading the paper and another guard is at the front, sitting by the main gates, reading a book. Max looks up, sees me and smiles broadly.

  “Hello,” he says through a smile.

  My heart melts a little. Oh, I do love Max. “Hi.” I smile in return. “You ok? I feel like we have hardly spoken since I got back.”

  He nods. “Are you ok is the real question?”

  “Yes, I’m good.”

  His smile turns down sympathetically.

  I hesitate before I ask. “Max, are Margaret and Robert staying in the same hotel room?”

  He seems taken aback with my question and frowns. “I don’t believe so.”

  Oh, right. I pause to think for a minute. “How long since they have slept in the same room?”

  “I’m not sure, not since Joshua went to prison. I stayed at the house to watch over Bridget and your mother and they had separate rooms at that time.”

  I narrow my eyes. “So, like, six weeks or so?”

  He nods and his eyes hold mine. I know he wants to ask what’s going through my head but is choosing to be polite instead.

  “Do you think they are still together?” I hesitate. “I mean, based on their body language?”

  “I wouldn’t think so.” He shrugs.

  I nod. Ok. Interesting. “You ok if we hang here for a while longer? I don’t want to go back for another couple of weeks.”

  “I think I
could handle that. Just.” He smiles. “This is such a terrible location to work from.”

  I laugh as I look around. “It is pretty cool here, isn’t it?”

  He raises his eyebrows at my nonchalance. “You could say that.”

  I feel him before I see him, and when I turn, Joshua is standing in the doorway. He has obviously been looking for me as he smiles a relieved smile.

  “I was just asking Max if it’s ok if we stay here for a couple more weeks,” I blurt out in a guilty rush.

  Joshua’s eyes flick to Max.

  Max smiles with a curt nod.

  “Of course, sweetheart,” Joshua replies softly.

  I frown at the sympathy sweetheart. My eyes wander between the two men and I notice they seem to know something that I don’t.

  “You two seem to be getting along very well.”

  “We are,” Joshua replies flatly.

  I continue to look between the two of them and I smirk. “It’s creepy.”

  Max laughs out loud while Joshua shakes his head and smacks me on the behind.

  “You two are like friendly creepers now. It’s weirding me out.”

  Max shakes his head and rolls his eyes at Joshua who laughs in response.

  “I thought you wanted us to be friendly creepers?”

  I look at him and raise my eyebrows.

  “I’m friendly and Max is the creep.”

  I smirk and walk back inside. “Bye, Max,” I call over my shoulder.

  “Goodbye, Natasha.”

  Joshua cuddles me from behind as I walk. “I need to work today, Presh.”

  “That’s ok,” I reply. “I’m on my way to see the girls and Adrian.” My face falls. “Is Adrian working today, too?”

  “No, he has been working nights.”

  I smile with relief.

  Joshua’s face lights up. “And this is good because…?”

  “This is good because that means I get to see him today.”

  He kisses me gently on the lips. “Don’t forget lunch with my parents.”

  “Ok. See you.” He disappears into his office, and I shower and dress. I exit through the front door and follow the path around until I get to Adrian’s place. Cameron is sitting on the front steps in the sun.

  “Mrs. Stanton.” He smiles.

  I grin as a rush of excitement fills me. I rub my hand through the top of his hair. “You know it, baby. Is Adrian inside?”