“Came to talk to you. Wow, you cleaned yourself up, shaved off your new look.”
Candy didn’t say anything as she watched Neil, an uncertainty lingering between them.
“So did my wife call you?” he asked, glancing back at Candy as she gave him a look that was pretty close to disgust and disbelief, similar to the “Drop dead” look she’d mastered for him a long time ago.
“You’re such an ass sometimes, Neil,” Candy said. She jabbed the shovel in the dirt, reached for Michael in Brad’s arms, and gestured for Cat’s hand. Neil put her down, and she walked to Candy. His wife took both kids into the house and shut the door.
“What the hell was that?” Brad gave him a look as if he’d lost his mind.
“Sorry, just on edge. I said something I shouldn’t have earlier. She pushed my buttons, and I kind of lost it. Then I drive in and see you here talking to my wife.”
“Hmm,” Brad said, nodding and then looking toward the door. It wasn’t lost on Neil that he’d said nothing to clear the air or put his worries at ease by assuring him that his wife hadn’t been confiding in him again.
He really didn’t want to get into anything with Brad. The fact was that he was feeling pretty shitty for how he’d talked to Candy, throwing Jim Miller, that pediatrician who’d fallen in love with her in Cancun, in her face. Comparing her to his mother had been cruel. The fact was that she was stunning, and he knew she probably had no idea of the effect she had on men. Who wouldn’t want a woman like Candy? She was everything to him, and she was the only woman he’d ever wanted.
“I can see some tension here,” Brad said. “Anything you want to talk about? Haven’t seen you dressed up in a long time.” His brother gestured to his dress shirt and pants. By the look he had, Neil wondered whether Candy had already told him where he’d been.
“You knew I was at the bank, begging. Candy told you, didn’t she?”
At least this time Brad had the good graces to wince.
“Ah, so she did share that part,” Neil said. Why hadn’t she been able to keep that to herself? It was humiliating, having his brother look down on him, having anyone see him spiraling down, sitting at the crossroads, having lost the financial security he’d always had. Neil loved wealth. He’d always had money, had always created money, until his sound reasoning and business savvy took a backseat to his need for a child. He’d put aside his shrewdness in business and allowing his feelings to rule him, which was the one thing that separated those truly successful in business from those who weren’t. That was when he’d made one of the stupidest business decisions ever: giving all his money to the surrogate so she’d leave his wife alone, leave his child alone. Now he was spiraling into a financial mess he couldn’t find his way out of.
“Hey, she didn’t elaborate on it. The only thing she mentioned was the resort and that you’re possibly keeping it,” Brad said.
“Yeah, well, that may not even be a possibility.”
“Why?”
“I’m tapped right out, Brad. Never been this bad. I maxed out all credit, got nothing left to barter. The banker here got really nervous when he added up the TDS and GDS and wouldn’t consider the Cancun resort as any collateral, as it’s not their area of expertise.” The fact was that his credit had taken a huge dip, and he was dealing with someone who didn’t understand the kind of world Neil operated in. It was humiliating to sit there, ask for a simple line of credit, and then be denied. Neil Friessen had never experienced that kind of humiliation, and he had left the local bank with his tail between his legs. It was a humbling experience that he never wanted to go through again, and he’d sworn as he drove away that he’d pull everything from that branch and move it somewhere else, to a bank that appreciated and understood who Neil Friessen was.
“You paid for this house,” Brad said. “What about taking out a mortgage?”
How could he tell Brad he’d taken a second one out on the house a few months before? He really did have nothing. He shook his head.
“Can I loan you something?” Brad said.
Neil couldn’t even look at his brother for offering something he had no intention of taking. “I’ve always been the one in this family to have more. I’ve always been able to think fast on my feet, to swing a deal and bring in investors, but I walked away from what I was good at. Now I may have buried myself so deep in the hole that I can’t get out.” He was shaking his head. “No, but thank you, Brad. This is something I have to figure out myself.” He started to walk away.
“Hey, Neil,” Brad said, wiping his hand across his mouth as if thinking of what to say. “Maybe it’s time we had a talk about Mom.”
Neil just stared at Brad and then glanced over to the front door. “I wish my wife would stop confiding in you, Brad.”
“Yeah, well, you need to get over yourself, because as you reminded both Jed and me, you have no intention of not being there as the self-appointed confidant for Diana and Emily, dear brother.”
It wasn’t funny, so why was he laughing? “Doesn’t mean I’m not pissed that you come over and stick your nose into my business,” Neil said, knowing he sounded like an ungrateful ass.
“Hey, I’ve kept my nose out of it so far, watching and waiting, but the problem is, Neil, you’re drowning. You know it, I know it, and your wife knows it.”
Chapter 12
Candy wasn’t sure what had happened with Brad outside. It had gotten pretty heated, and Neil had done nothing more than step inside the house and close himself up in his office. She wasn’t sure what he was doing aside from the fact that he was on his computer, making calls and leaving messages. She didn’t have a clue who he was talking to.
She went and tapped on the door, then opened it without waiting for him to answer. She wondered whether he’d dismiss her, as he didn’t look up right away, instead leaning back in his chair and wiping his face in a way that told her he was distracted. She didn’t like this distance, so she stood there and waited.
“Kids okay?” he asked, maybe because it was always easier to ask about them than to address the problem.
“Kids are fine, Neil. I’m going to head over to Brad and Emily’s and check on Sable and Ambrose.” She might throw her saddle on Sable and take the hour loop. She had enough time before the sun started to go down.
Neil glanced up. “I’m kind of in the middle of something here. Can you do it tomorrow?” He didn’t ask, but by the way he said it, it sounded as if it was a done deal.
“I’ll take the kids with me. Katy will babysit, and you’ll have a nice quiet house to yourself so you can just keep doing what you’re doing.” She started to back away, and Neil’s expression took on an annoyance she hadn’t seen in some time.
He tossed a pen he’d been holding down on the desk and pushed his chair back a little harder than he needed to. “I’m tired of you running over to my brother all the time and telling him everything. Why do you feel the need to tell him what I’m doing, what we’re doing? This is our life, Candy. You’re my wife, and just once I’d like to know that you’re in my corner, that you’re supporting me.”
He stopped halfway across the room and crossed his arms. Neil was not a man who kept his distance. He was the one always reaching for her, touching her, refusing to let her bolt and run. This distance between them had happened only once, during a dark period of their life. Tension and uneasiness lingered between them now from the hurtful words he’d thrown in her face.
“What do you want from me, Neil?” she said, and she didn’t miss the way his amber eyes seemed to spark with fury. Maybe she’d pushed too hard. Her reasonable Neil seemed to be taking a walk down the wild side, taking him to angry, bitter, resentful places. This wasn’t a spot Candy wanted to be in.
“You’re my wife, Candy. This isn’t about me wanting something from you. I expect you to support me, talk to me, share with me!” He jabbed his thumb to his chest.
“I can’t talk to you when you say hurtful things to me, Neil.”
He sighed, and maybe he realized he’d gone too far. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have said what I did, but it’s how I feel. I think of it every now and then and wonder how long it would have been before you did end up in his bed. He was in love with you.”
She was stunned by the hurt she saw. It was something that could have crumbled any relationship they had. Neil wouldn’t have forgiven her for crossing that line. That was just something she knew. Then again, would she have done it?
“I never cheated on you. Jim offered his friendship, but he wasn’t and never would have been a man I could love, because I gave everything to you. You can’t just pick and choose, Neil. That wasn’t something that was going to happen. Neil, you pushed me away. You moved another woman into our home, put her in a bedroom across the hall from ours so that every time I stepped out I could see her, and there you were with her as she carried your baby.”
“She was a surrogate, Candy, and I’m sorry, I should never have done that. Why are we talking about this? It’s done, it’s over.”
“Is it? Apparently not, if you’re throwing all these feelings you’ve been holding on to in my face.” She held up her hand to stop him so he wouldn’t interrupt, which was one of the things he did. “I know I pointed out to you how what you did with Maria was the same as cheating, but I didn’t bring it up because I’m still hurt and angry about it or because I think it’s still festering between us.” She was getting loud, and Neil just watched her closely in a way that let her know she now had all his attention.
“Then why did you throw it in my face, Candy? I’d really like to know. I thought we’d finally gotten past it.”
He didn’t get it, she realized. He’d missed the point she was trying to make. “I brought it up, Neil, to help you understand that what happened to your mom and dad, the choices they made…they weren’t so different from the choices you made with Maria.”
He was shaking his head as if there was no way she could convince him, and it was that lack of forgiveness, that hardline attitude, that could end up driving a wedge between his parents and him, ultimately driving them away.
Chapter 13
He glanced back in the rearview mirror to Cat in her car seat and Michael beside her, buckled into his. Candy hadn’t said a word since climbing into the SUV, since he’d decided he’d tag along with her to his brother’s house so she could see her horse and that damn nuisance of a donkey.
“So am I in for the silent treatment all night?” he said. There was something about time and reflecting and looking back on the idiotic things that had flown out of his mouth in the heat of the moment that had him wishing he could go back in time, have a do over. Even with his brother, he felt as if he was putting a wedge between them when Brad was doing nothing more than he would have done in the same situation.
Candy turned to him, and it took her a second before she would look at him. “I just don’t know what to say. I’ve tried to be reasonable, tried to get you to understand, but you’re not hearing me, and that hurts, Neil, because you’re seeing only your side. That’s not who you are. You’re an amazing man who’s kind and thoughtful at times, but right now I can see you struggling and not willing to understand, and I don’t know how else to get through to you,” she said, sounding so calm. At the same time, she seemed at a loss for what to say.
“Look, Candy, I’m just trying to get us out of the mess I’ve got us in. I need to put all my focus into that.” Couldn’t she get it? He’d ignored things for so long that reality had finally kicked in today while he sat across from that banker, who hadn’t been able to see past the black and white numbers to the magic that Neil could create.
“Neil, the money means nothing. If you lost everything, it wouldn’t matter to me, because we’re more important. All the position, the wealth, success…that’s all you. I’m comfortable with a little corner of something. Family is everything, I should know, and if it wasn’t for your mom and dad, Neil…” She bit her lip as if she needed to stop herself from saying any more, but he knew where she was heading. She’d already said months before that she would have left if it hadn’t been for Brad giving her someone to talk to, and it had been his mom and dad who convinced her to stay.
“Okay, I understand what you’re saying, and maybe I’m not able to see it your way. I’m still hurt and can’t get my head into understanding yet. Just give me some time, Candy, once I get my head on straight and get us out of this mess. You, Cat, and Michael are my future. Let me just get things settled with us first, take care of us first, and then we’ll sit down and talk about my parents.”
He was pulling down the driveway to Brad’s when he felt Candy reach out and touch his hand. When he glanced over, her understanding reached him.
“Okay,” she said. “I get it and I understand, but let me leave you with this, please.”
He sighed, just hearing her out.
“Your mom and dad both knew how bad it was between us, how divided we were. The only reason your dad told me that story was because they already knew I had one foot out the door. I’d been seeking out options.”
He swallowed his heart. He’d never known for sure how far she had been about to take things in ending their relationship. Now he knew, he guessed. It still ached to know that he’d almost killed the best thing he’d ever created.
“I’m not saying this to hurt you, Neil.” She was still touching him as he pulled in and parked beside Emily’s minivan and Brad’s truck.
He slid around on the seat and took in the honesty in her expression, how she was opening up to him in the one way he’d just accused her of not doing. “I’m listening,” he said.
Her smile was so subtle, as if he amused her. “Your dad knew. Your mom had said something to him before she had her stroke. She had been about to reach out, but your dad sat me down at the hospital and explained their story to me. Your mom had him tell me everything when she was in rehab. She was humiliated and embarrassed, and I can see still how she has to struggle with that memory, wishing she could go back and undo that moment and make a different choice, but she can’t, just like none of us can. She explained, and your dad did, too, that it’s not about what they did then. It’s about who they are now. They’re good people, Neil. They’re your parents, and they’re the reason I’m here, that I stayed, that I chose to work it out. It was because of their mistakes and their heartache that I could understand how that could have been our story. It could have been us.”
This time, he wanted to argue, but she reached over again and stopped him. “Just think about it, Neil. Remember who your mom is, your dad, and forget what you heard. She deserves your respect, and she and your dad will always have mine—and my gratitude. You know about their story, but this is really about you and your issues.” She jabbed her finger to his chest, maybe to drive her point home. “You never told me what happened with the bank yesterday.” She looked away, letting him know she’d said her peace and was leaving him to think about what he needed to say, to do.
No, he hadn’t. He was just glad she hadn’t been there to witness that banker cutting him down and making him feel as if he needed to get his house in order before knocking on his door. It had been humbling.
“I can tell it didn’t go well,” she said.
He was shaking his head as he turned off the ignition and pulled the keys out, watching the tractor in the distance coming closer, realizing it was Brad driving with earmuffs on for the noise. “No, it didn’t. I had high hopes, but I was dealing with a drone who saw how bad a hole I’d managed to sink us in.” The resort was in flux, and Neil had turned over the day-to-day operations to the prospective owner, but he realized it was time to have his own people watching over things. “I should have called Stella. We haven’t talked in a while, but she knows me, understands me. I was just trying to get us something here until we go back.” He drummed his fingers on the steering wheel, thinking, and glanced over to Candy. She was staring straight ahead out the window.
“Neil, j
ust don’t forget about me. You tend to start making plans and thinking, and you bulldoze straight ahead to the finish line but forget to tell me, leaving me trying to figure out where you’ve gone to. So please, first, there are some things that need to happen before considering a trip back—like our family, our home here, and your feelings for your mother.” She gave him a meaningful look before pulling open the door and slipping out just as Emily started out of the house, all smiles. She headed over to Candy and gave her a big-sisterly hug.
Neil realized as he watched her that Candy now had a family, his family, and she’d set down roots here. Maybe this was about him being the selfish one once again.
Chapter 14
Neil watched as Emily and Candy disappeared in the distance to the pasture just behind the break in the trees where the horses were grazing. He’d left Michael and Cat inside the house with Katy, Brad and Emily’s eldest, who was now fifteen, filling out into a beautiful young lady. He wondered how long it would be before the boys came knocking on her door.
It was an image that made him smile, considering Brad would be the type to lay down the law with whatever boy came sniffing around. He’d soon learn that he wouldn’t be messing with Brad’s kids, especially Katy. Neil watched Brad climb down from the tractor, the bales of hay stacked on the flatbed behind it. He pulled off his earmuffs and looped them on the steering wheel of the tractor, and he seemed to hesitate a second as he took in Neil. Maybe he was wondering what to say, considering Neil had acted like a complete ass when he had come by earlier.
He was walking toward him, digging into each step. “So what brings you by?” Brad asked, sounding a little annoyed.
“Candy wanted to see her horse and donkey.”
Brad didn’t seem impressed. Maybe there was more.
“And I wanted to eat a little crow and apologize for being…”
Brad stopped in front of him, not about to make this easy. No, he was making it damn hard, but then, he’d had it coming. “I’m waiting, Neil.”
The Business Plan Page 5
