You Had Me At Christmas: A Holiday Anthology

by Karina Bliss

  “Anyway it doesn’t matter,” Kate said, wanting to discuss anything but him. “I’m not going to see him again.”

  “Okay, well then what about another approach? I was talking to my friend Carol about you…”

  Kate’s eyebrow rose a fraction.

  “No, hear me out. I was just saying how great it is that you want to get out there and start having some fun. Anyway, she’s got a co-worker, divorced now for about a year, who is looking to date as well. He’s forty-seven, a lawyer, no kids and according to Carol total eye candy. That means super hot.”

  Kate scowled. “I know what eye candy is.”

  “Anyway I think you should give it a shot. First, it will help you put the awful experience behind you, and second I think hot lawyers are going to be more your speed than ex-cons.”

  The thought of going through another blind date was about the equivalent of drinking castor oil, but Kate realized if she didn’t keep at least trying then next Christmas was probably going to be a lot like this last one.

  That was, until she started talking to John. Who kissed like heaven.

  “Okay, set me up.”

  Sally clapped her hands. “Awesome. Who knows? This guy might be the one!”

  “Okay, we’re done with my love life. Let’s get back to work.”

  “Yes, sir.”

  Kate scowled again, but Sally just chuckled as she bounced out of the office. There, another date. That was good. Someone not John. Because she was never going to see or hear from him again.

  At some point she would stop being forlorn about that.

  “Dude, what’s your problem? You’re staring at that rope like you’re going to will it untied.”

  John looked up at his fellow ferry worker, a merchant marine named Max, who was technically in charge. It was Max’s job to pilot the ferry up and down the Delaware and John’s job to take care of everything else. Like untying the rope from the dock.

  “Sorry, got caught up with my thoughts.”

  “Yeah, well stop fucking thinking on my time.”

  Max was a swell guy to work for. John did his job and Max pulled the empty ferry for all of about two people away from the docks and directed the boat back to Camden. John took care of making sure everything that needed to be locked down was secure, as the water was a little choppy today. Then he joined Max up front and took the co-pilot’s seat. Nothing to do now but enjoy being on the water. Especially when it was a little choppy.

  “So what’s your problem?”

  John turned to Max. “I don’t have a problem.”

  “A man gets lost in his thoughts it’s usually about a problem.”

  “Oh that. I just screwed something up the other night.” Royally screwed it up. From the moment he opened his mouth right up until the point where he put his tongue down her throat, which had left him starving for the taste of her for days now.

  “Can you fix it?”

  John looked at his boss, who wasn’t necessarily known to be very chatty. Yet the words seemed to resonate.

  “You fuck something up, you fix it. Simple.” Max shrugged.

  It was like a revelation from an angel. Profound and wise advice that made the steel band that had formed around his heart since watching Kate drive away break open. He hadn’t been able to stop thinking about her for days, and now suddenly he had this answer. This thing he could do.

  Maybe he had screwed it up to the point he couldn’t fix it, but at least he could try.

  “Yeah. I’ll do that.”

  Max nodded and John thought that might have been the best talk with another man he’d ever had.

  Max. Who knew?

  Chapter Six

  “So I said, ‘That’s because you didn’t have me as your lawyer.’” David Buckley the Third—that was how he introduced himself—started to laugh hysterically at what Kate imagined was supposed to be a very funny joke.

  The truth was, at some point during the twenty-minute story she had lost focus, so the punchline fell a little short. Still, she politely smiled as he continued to laugh.

  “Sorry, but that kills me every time.”

  “Yes, I can see that.”

  “Enough of my stories. Tell me something about yourself. Carol said you own your own little boutique business.”

  “I wouldn’t exactly call us boutique, we’re a mid-sized software company with over a hundred…”

  His phone rang again, the one that sat on the table next to his plate throughout their dinner, and he immediately picked it up. Just like he had the other two times it had rung.

  Kate was familiar with the process now. He wouldn’t bother with a polite excuse me, just a raised finger in front of her face, which she wasn’t sure if it was meant to indicate he was going to be one minute, or rather to shush her.

  He started to talk, in that awkward way people do when they are still looking at you even though they are having a conversation with someone else.

  Having had enough of that for one night, Kate pulled out her own phone to check her work emails. What she saw was an incoming text indicator she hadn’t heard because she had been polite enough to put her phone on vibrate mode.

  When she opened it she nearly gasped. It was John.

  I fucked up… notice the use of the word fuck. And even though you have no reason to give me one, I’m asking for another chance. Please.

  She looked at the time it was sent. Only a few minutes ago. Helpless against it, she found her fingers moving over the letters and hit send before she could overthink it.

  Why?

  She wasn’t even really sure what she was asking. Why should she give him another chance? Why was he asking for one? This time she felt the phone vibrate in her hand. She looked across the table at her date, who was still talking on his phone. So she only felt a little guilty that she was technically talking to one man while on a date with another.

  Because I’m pretty sure if I don’t kiss you again I’m going to explode.

  Kate smiled. Before she could think of how to respond, her phone buzzed again.

  I know this is going to sound crazy after one strange Christmas night and one really horrible date… but I miss you.

  It was crazy. And ridiculous. And worse, she missed him too. She missed who she’d been with him. A wilder, sexier version of herself. She wanted that Kate back.

  Let me make it up to you. Please.

  Kate could feel herself caving. If only she hadn’t felt the same way. If only she could stop remembering what kissing him had been like. She couldn’t. Even though logically she knew she was never going to see him again. She was still amazed at the idea she was never going to kiss him again. Only now he was texting her. Wanting a second chance.

  OK.

  Tonight?

  If only it could be tonight. Instead she was stuck on a date with a man who should have been way more her type, but all she could think about was John.

  “Hold on Jerry, I’ve got to go.”

  Kate was about to put her phone away. She would have to text John later tonight. Especially since it seemed David was wrapping up his call.

  “William!” David called even as he stood up. Another man, the alleged William Kate imagined, joined them at the table. “Kate, I’m sorry, can you give me a minute? I haven’t seen this guy in a month! How the heck are you?”

  The two men started talking, moving away from the table toward the coat check area to avoid being an impediment to the wait staff, easily dismissing Kate.

  “Take all the time you want,” she muttered.

  She glanced down at her phone and started typing.

  I wish I could. I’m on another horrible blind date. I blame you.

  Oh no! You’re right. If I hadn’t messed up you would be with me again. Boring?

  Very. Has spent more time on his phone and now is catching up with an old friend rather than talking to me. I turned to my phone as a distraction.

  And found me…

  Yes.

 
Leave.

  I should. I doubt he would notice.

  Better… tell me where you are and I’ll come get you.

  Kate looked down at the phone and was shocked by how much she wanted to say yes. It would be totally rude to get up in the middle of a date and just walk out. Something she couldn’t fathom doing—and yet the whole reason she’d started down this path in the first place was because she didn’t want to be alone.

  Right now, on this date with David, she was totally alone.

  With John she wouldn’t be.

  OK.

  She typed out the name of the restaurant and sent it to him.

  Give me ten minutes and then wait outside. Are you wearing a dress?

  No. Pants this time.

  Given that her dress had been such a particular disaster last time, she wasn’t taking any chances.

  You wore a dress for me.

  Which caused you to run out of the restaurant if you recall.

  Ouch. No more running. One last question… how do you feel about motorcycles?

  I don’t know. I’ve never been on one.

  See you in ten minutes.

  Kate put the phone away and then found her waiter. She paid for the meal and left a very good tip. She found her handbag and stood, thinking she would go over to David and let him know that she had an urgent work emergency which had to be dealt with immediately.

  When she looked around for him she saw that he and William were in the restaurant’s bar area. Each with a fresh drink in their hands.

  Kate decided the man didn’t deserve an explanation, and instead retrieved her coat and left the restaurant.

  Ten minutes later, the subtle purr of an engine got her attention. She turned to see John driving up to the valet spot on what appeared to be a very large and very sleek black motorcycle.

  “Oh my,” she whispered more to herself.

  He smiled, and there was a bit of the devil in his eyes.

  “Hop on, Red.”

  Right, she thought. Because if she was going to be a biker chick now, she definitely needed a nickname. It would be without a doubt the most spontaneous thing she had ever done, and it felt good to not even hesitate. To do, instead of thinking.

  She scrambled on the back and he handed her a helmet. She put it on and shoved her hair out of her face.

  “Where do you want to go?” he asked.

  “Whereever you’re taking me.”

  John looked at her and smiled. “Good answer. Put your arms around my waist and lean with me.”

  She nodded, and then he did something to make the bike roar to life and off they went.

  The feel of it was surreal. The air, the smell of the city, the press of her body against John’s. When they turned and he leaned, she did as instructed and leaned with him. It became this odd sort of dance. He took her through the city, which past eight in the evening was free of heavy traffic. They drove past the art museum, down Kelly Drive and Boathouse Row, until he drove her up into Fairmount Park and found a secluded area where they could stop for a while.

  “It’s my favorite part of the city,” John said as he took his helmet off and dropped the kickstand of the bike. “I wanted to show it to you.”

  Kate wrapped her coat more tightly around her and took a seat on the park bench, which was clear of snow and thankfully dry.

  “Is it crazy I did this? Is it too cold?”

  She shook her head. Even though she could see puffs of clouds from her mouth, it wasn’t enough to make her give up this moment. It was breathtaking. Snow had fallen earlier in the week, and the white stretched out in front of her on the ground, some still in the trees. It was quiet in that strange way when snow covered everything. It felt like she and John were the only two people in a magical woods, even though they had only left the lights and noise of the city a few minutes ago.

  He sat down next to her and took her gloved hands in his. He pulled them up to his mouth and blew hot air on them. An innocent gesture that felt shockingly intimate. Like she was his to be warmed.

  “So what excuse did you give the guy?” John asked.

  “I didn’t. That friend he was talking to… they went to the bar for a drink.”

  “He left you there? Sitting at the table by yourself while he had a drink? Okay, you have to admit our date was way better than that.”

  “I’ll concede better. Not way better.”

  “Fair enough,” John said easily. “Want me to go back there and rough him up? I have a reputation as a badass, you know.”

  “No, I don’t want to think of him at all really. Instead I want to know why you freaked out. And please don’t say it was because I’m out of your league. You know that’s ridiculous, right?”

  He sighed and she realized he hadn’t let go of her hand this whole time. She liked that.

  “It’s not ridiculous, Kate, but I will admit there was a fair amount of freaking out. I guess I just thought… that I didn’t deserve someone like you. I was married once. Did I tell you that?”

  Kate shook her head. Their date hadn’t lasted much longer than twenty minutes. There hadn’t been time for any real exchanges of information. He said married. Past tense.

  “Was it because of the jail thing… did she leave you?”

  John shook his head. “Well, she left me, but not because of that. I met Becky when I was sixteen. We were married by nineteen, and together planned to own a fleet of commercial fishing boats. Our own little dynasty. We almost got there too, until she got sick. Cancer.”

  Kate wrapped her other hand around the one holding hers and squeezed.

  “All our effort went there, you know? To fighting it. For a while it seemed like we were getting ahead of it, and then she was gone. I had never felt so bereft in my life. I imagine it’s like when a soldier loses an arm or leg, and you look down at yourself that first time and you can’t believe that’s really you.”

  Kate thought about how she felt after losing her mother. Like suddenly she wasn’t the same person she had been.

  “When I buried her, I thought that part of my life was over. Then I went on a hell of a bender. I hit every bar in this city. Nice ones, seedy ones, it didn’t matter. Then one night I go out the back to take a piss because the bathroom was occupied, and I see this bully cop giving some kid shit for no reason. In my drunken state I thought I was doing the right thing. Instead I ended up doing eight months in jail.”

  “I’m so sorry, John.”

  “It could have been worse, actually. Assaulting an officer comes with a pretty heavy sentence for obvious reasons. My lawyer suspected the judge was aware of the rumors about the cop in question, and that my story was probably true. She went easy—or at least easier—on me.”

  “There’s been no one since?”

  “A few hookups, nothing that meant anything.”

  “Because you’re still grieving.” Which in a way made Kate sad too. If he still wasn’t over his wife, then what hope did they have?

  I know grief. It’s what he said that first night they talked.

  He looked at her and shook his head. “That’s just it, Kate. I think that’s why I freaked out. When I saw you, this wave of lust and need came over me—and that’s when I knew I wasn’t grieving anymore. I didn’t want to fuck you, Kate. I wanted to make love to you, sleep with you, wake up with you, make you breakfast. All kinds of shit I hadn’t thought about in years. I wanted to do all that with this classy, sophisticated woman who probably was going to take one look at me and run the opposite way when she found out my story, and yes… I freaked out.”

  “Well, I’m still me, and now I know your story—your real story—and I’m not going anywhere.”

  John turned and leaned in to kiss her, and while it wasn’t as intense as their last kiss, it was just as pleasurable. This kiss didn’t scream one and done. This kiss said they had all the time in the world.

  “Where do you want to go next, Kate?” John asked, barely releasing her lips.

  “W
here do you want to take me?” she asked boldly. Even though she held her breath after she said it.

  “To bed. I want to take you to bed.”

  “Then I guess that’s where I’m going.”

  He smiled and brought his cold hand to rest against her cheek. “Where did you come from?”

  “Your phone,” she reminded him.

  “I really love my phone,” he said even as he kissed her again. Then as if a timer had gone off in his head, like they had to be somewhere fast, he stood and pulled her off the bench and settled her on the back of his bike.

  She wrapped her arms around his middle, giving him a gentle squeeze, and he looked over his shoulder.

  “Kate.”

  “Yes, John?”

  “You’re going to need to hold on tight for the ride.”

  Somehow she didn’t think he was talking about their ride back to his place.

  “Oh my.”

  Chapter Seven

  They made their way easily and smoothly out of the park and back into the heart of the city. The recently rejuvenated area of Northern Liberties, with its many bars and restaurants, seemed to wink and sparkle as they drove by. John however wasn’t distracted enough to look. He had one objective in mind, and that was getting the woman seated behind him into bed and underneath him as quickly as possible.

  He pulled into the parking garage that was the first floor of his apartment building. It was an older building that had recently gotten a facelift. Lucky for him, he’d signed his rental agreement back before it became chic to live in this section of the city, so his rent was nowhere close to what the apartments were getting now. Which was important considering he lived somewhere else three months out of the year and ended up having to pay double in those months.

  Kate handed him his extra helmet back and he led her upstairs to the second floor. Every once in a while checking to see she was still behind him. Her cheeks were as red as her hair, and he wondered if that was because she was thinking about what lay ahead or just a reaction to the cold air on her face.

  He was going to need to warm her up to find out.

  Opening the door, he stepped back to let her inside. He wasn’t too worried about what she might think. While the furniture was secondhand, it was all clean and neat. His one indulgence was the forty-inch flat screen TV, but other than that it wasn’t like he had a lot of pictures on the walls or knickknacks lying about.