Keeping Her Close: A Slow Burn Standalone

by Casey Diam

  “Shit, Kelly, I have to go,” he lied. “I’ll text you when I’m back in town.”

  A few days later, back in the city and behind on all his school assignments, Brandon found himself teetering on the thin line between passing and failing.

  “Are you coming to our study session Wednesday night?” Kathy asked as he gathered his books from his desk. She and two other students had a study group he mostly didn’t have the time to take advantage of. Work and networking events often got in the way.

  “I don’t think so, but I’ll let you know,” he told her. “I have a lot of assignments to catch up on.”

  “Where are you off to? I’m actually heading to the library now to catch up on some assignments myself.” Kathy’s blue eyes smiled at him as they exited the classroom.

  She was a few years younger than he was, but a much better student.

  “Heading to work—but, wait a minute. You? Catch up on assignments?” Brandon considered her now-perturbed eyes. “You’re always two chapters ahead. What’s going on?”

  “Personal stuff . . . boyfriend problems,” she sneered, toying with her necklace.

  “I’m sorry to hear that.” He checked his phone like he’d been doing for days, hoping for Jordan’s answer as to whether she would be joining his family for Thanksgiving.

  Brandon knew his mother was trying to play matchmaker, and that was perhaps the main reason she’d invited Jordan. She must have caught on to his mood change since Jordan took an interest in someone else.

  He used to be so damn good at hiding his moods, but he was restless without Jordan. Every time he pulled his phone out, he was tempted to text her, call her. But he had to respect her relationship—not think about the light in him that dimmed a bit more each day that he didn’t get to talk to her. It was life. People come and go, yet still, he wondered if this could be the way things ended for him and Jordan, even as friends. Wouldn’t that be why she’d stopped texting him? Or was she just too busy, making up for all the sex she’d opted out of in the past?

  He winced at that last thought. He’d been trying, but it would never be okay with him.

  Needing a distraction, he looked back at Kathy. “Would you like to talk about it over a cup of coffee?” He needed it before he went to the office anyway.

  She smiled. “Sure. Just the thing I need before going into study mode.”

  Ten minutes into their conversation, Brandon had gathered that Kathy wasn’t as innocent as she appeared. And as she paused, bit into her donut, and wiped her mouth, his dick awakened—not because of Kathy, but at the memory of Jordan’s soft moans. Images of his sweet Jordan biting into her own donut—oblivious to him watching her tongue swipe across her lips and her thumb being sucked into her mouth—flooded his mind. He wasn’t one to jack off in public, but fuck. With the loud, three o’clock-slump-hour chatter adding cover, he excused himself to the bathroom.

  Sliding the latch into place, he pulled his phone out and found his favorite picture of Jordan.

  What had she reduced him to?

  He respected her relationship, but he had needs, and if he couldn’t have her, he would have her this way.

  The picture was from the night he’d kissed her, desire clouding her eyes. The swollen, delectable lips he’d ravished—too long ago—urged his semi into an aching hard-on. Wrenching his belt buckle free, he took a wide stance, unzipped his pants, and gasped at the sweet, unrestricted bobbing of his cock. With his crisp white shirtsleeves already rolled, he pushed his black pants to mid-thigh and palmed his cock, eyes fluttering closed at the anticipated contact. Working his hand up and down his shaft, he bit his lip as the sensation took hold. Saliva spread in his mouth, and he swallowed, licking his lips as he envisioned Jordan’s sweet cunt riding his face.

  God, I bet you’d get so fucking wet in my mouth.

  He glanced at her picture then at his cock swelling to the verge of no return, all the while thinking, You see what you do to me?

  His phone vibrated. Jordan. Holy fuck. Had she sensed his need?

  Putting the phone to his ear, he continued the steady momentum on his cock, which now lurched in his hands at the sound of her voice.

  “Hey, you.”

  He cleared his throat. “Hey, what’s up?”

  “Just calling to let you know I’m coming.”

  Well, that’s a fucking coincidence. Closing his eyes, he bit down on the smile spreading across his lips. “Oh, you are?”

  “I am.” Her voice resonated down to his raging erection. God, yes, he mentally coaxed. Stay with me, baby. Tell me what I need to hear.

  Tightening the grip around his cock as he pumped, he managed, “Okay, as long as you’re coming because you want to, and not because I want you to.” Just a single pump would finish him.

  “I want to.”

  “Good.” His pulsating length spouted, and his eyes squeezed shut in unison with his grip. When he forced an eye open, he saw that some of his release had shot short of the rest running down the wall.

  “Fuck,” he mumbled, covering the tip.

  “What is it?”

  He shook his head. “Nothing.”

  “Did I call at a bad time?” She sounded concerned.

  “No, your timing is impeccable.”

  “It sounds like an echo. Where are you? What are you doing?”

  “Beautiful, that’s something you do not want to know. Under different circumstances, I would humor you, but, uh, well, since we’ve been on the phone, something came up.” Literally. “And I have to take care of it. I’ll text you the address to the house.”

  After doing his janitorial duty, because he wasn’t a complete scumbag, he returned to the table, falling right back into conversation with Kathy.

  “I’m not trying to get into too much detail, but it’s not as great as when we first met, you know?” she said. “That’s why we brought a third person in, and there are rules. He broke them. He slept with her without me around. I can’t really say he cheated, because I initially agreed to it, but the situation just sucks.”

  “Was he the one who told you he slept with her, or did she?” he asked, taking a gulp of his coffee.

  “She did. She told me she thought I was there when he invited her over, but when she saw I wasn’t, he told her I’d said it was okay. She asked me if it was okay, and I said yes because I didn’t know what else to say. They’d already done it, and I didn’t want this stranger knowing my boyfriend had been dishonest with me.” Her eyes glossed. “It’s all fun and games till someone gets hurt, right?”

  “Right. I’m sorry. Did you talk to him about it?”

  Taking deep breaths, she shook her head. “I know I should, but I feel like he crossed a line here. And I don’t know why he would do something like that if he still loved me. Even though, as I’m saying it out loud, it sounds petty and stupid. But why would he sleep with her without me? We’ve been together for four years. What if his feelings about me have changed and we’re growing apart?”

  “You would know if you were growing apart because you wouldn’t feel a connection with him, but it sounds like you still get each other. Maybe he knows he made a mistake and is scared to bring it up. I can tell that dude loves you—I’ve seen him when he picks you up from the study group. It’s all over him,” Brandon said. “You guys just need to communicate; put everything out on the table. Find out exactly what you both want from the relationship. But the most important question right now is, what do you want? Do you want there to be a third person?”

  “No. I just want him, and I don’t want to lose him.”

  Brandon smiled. “A relationship can’t evolve when it’s one-sided. You have to speak up. Tell him you’re done sharing, and if you’re not enough, then he can go. You need to talk and try to go back to when your relationship was at its best. Try to find what kept you together on your best and worst days, and go back to that. If you can’t find it, the problems in your relationship may be larger than you think.”


  “Wow, you’re good at this,” Kathy said. “I’m surprised you’re not in a relationship.”

  Brandon inhaled. “On that note, would you look at the time? I think I have a meeting or something.”

  Kathy laughed and shook her head. “You may be almost ten years my senior, but I know a thing or two.”

  “Oh yeah, like what?”

  “Like you’ve been running, and when the right woman finds you . . .”

  “Sorry, I need to run before you finish that sentence.” Brandon laughed.

  Kathy threw her backpack over her shoulder and grabbed her coffee. “Fine, at least tell me her name.”

  “What are you talking about? There’s no name.”

  “And you haven’t been staring at your phone smiling for a few weeks. Now you’re just staring at it, as if you’re waiting.”

  “I would say you need to pay more attention in class. But you already do. So, what gives? I’m not that interesting.”

  Kathy cleared her throat. “‘At what point do we ask when is the right time to rewrite our destiny, the perfect moment to do something that changes the outcome? How do we know the outcome wasn’t our destiny in the first place? Or do we know we should do one thing, but instead do the other, thereby actually changing our destiny?’” She quoted him word for word.

  He’d given that interview years ago. Shit, had he been high for it? And why did people think he was a good guy? Seriously, what did they see? Hadn’t they discovered the hearts he’d single-handedly devastated all over the city?

  “I’ll be an intern next summer at your firm,” she told him. “I did some research on you before my interview with your HR department, and the way you think is interesting, which makes you interesting. Anyway, for you to take time out of your busy schedule to talk to me—thank you. I knew you were a great leader, but now I know to what extent. Also, if I ever run into you at the firm, this coffee break never happened.”

  And here he thought the only good thing he’d done recently was let Jordan go—something he still wasn’t fully committed to.

  “Already forgotten. Congratulations, by the way. It’s admirable that you didn’t try to take the easy way in when you knew me all along.” Then he added, “There’s a store called Artesian at the mall—you should check it out. They sell suits and other professional clothing for women. That could be the look you’re going for when you start your internship.”

  The next day, a gust of wind caught Brandon’s hair and added some resistance to the restaurant’s door as he pulled it open. It had been a relaxing, breezy day. Everything felt lighter since he knew he’d be seeing Jordan again. And an indulgent dinner with Andrew, who was already sitting at a table in the back, was the icing on the cake.

  “How’s it going, man?” He bumped his fist with Andrew’s.

  “Not bad. How about you? What you been up to?”

  “Nothing much—just loaded with schoolwork. I wonder if it’s worth the effort. It sucks, dude. And I don’t see the point of doing it anymore. I don’t even know why I started to begin with.” Brandon skimmed through the menu, even though he got the same thing every time. He waved the waitress over.

  “You should try to finish since you’re so close. And then when you have a kid, you can make up some bullshit story about why it’s important to go to college, how that’s what got you to where you are today.” Andrew looked up at the server. “Can I have apple juice to start? Then blueberry pancakes, California scrambled eggs, and a fruit bowl.”

  “Of course. And what can I get you?” she asked Brandon.

  “A cup of coffee, water, and the banana French toast combo—without the bacon, with scrambled eggs and a fruit bowl,” he said.

  “Is that all?” the waitress asked.

  Brandon looked at her name tag and smiled. “Yes, Anna, that will be all. Thank you.”

  Andrew placed his elbows on the table and leaned forward. “I think I’m ready, dude.”

  Confused, Brandon pressed his lips together and raised his eyebrows. “Ready for what?”

  Andrew widened his eyes. “Sarah.”

  Brandon tilted his head to the side, and then it hit him. “Oh—oh shit, really?”

  “Yeah, after six years, I still can’t see myself with anyone else. She’s always been there for me, even when I fuck up, but you know that.”

  “Yeah, I can’t believe it took you this long to realize that. When are you planning to propose?”

  “At Thanksgiving with her family.” Andrew laced his fingers together and rested his chin on his joined hands. “I don’t know why I’m nervous about asking her.”

  “I know why, dickhead.” Brandon smirked. “You waited over half a decade.”

  “Oh thanks, future best man. I can see what a big help you’re going to be in not making me nervous.”

  Brandon laughed. “I might not be able to promise much emotional support, but you will have the best bachelor party ever. Just think . . . The Hangover movie times five.”

  Andrew gazed off into the distance and nodded. “I can see it. Looks like you are the best man for the job. Your position still stands.” Andrew pulled a small box out of his pocket. “I was at the mall with Sarah, and when she went to the lingerie store, she told me to browse around. It hit me when I saw a jewelry store across from us. Anyway, I want it to be a surprise. Can you hold onto the ring for me? I don’t want her to find it before the big day.”

  “Yeah, of course.” Brandon wrinkled his nose as he took the box. “I guess I shouldn’t invite Kelly over until after then. With my luck she’ll find it and think I’m ready to propose or something.”

  “Kelly?” Andrew asked. “I thought you stopped seeing her after what happened.”

  “I did for a while.” A familiar, disapproving crease formed between Andrew’s eyes, but Brandon continued. “I know what you’re thinking, dude. But she’s one of the only girls I’ve been with for an extended time, and it actually worked, for the most part. So why not give it a second shot? Maybe even have a real relationship this time.”

  “What? Dammit, this is my fault for letting Sarah try to hook you up with Stephanie.” Andrew scowled. “But what about Jordan? You guys are . . . cute.”

  “Fuck you.” Brandon snickered. “Anyway, she’s dating someone and doesn’t want me, but I’m also not what she needs. Besides, I’ve already fucked up with her.” He picked up the salt shaker and slid it back and forth between his hands across the table.

  “But you do like her. Why else would you have been keeping her close? You were like best friends.” Andrew grinned. “Dude, you baited her, and now you’re keeping tabs. Something’s off, though. You never take this long. Wait, what did you fuck up? Did you—are you holding out on me? You fucked her?”

  Brandon lifted his gaze. “I sort of went on a date or two with her. It didn’t work out.”

  “Really? Because you two still seem close, and now that I think about it, it’s not in an ex kind of way. More like Sarah and me way back when.”

  As heartwarming and petrifying as it was to picture a fairy-tale ending like Sarah and Andrew’s story, that wouldn’t be a part of Brandon’s future. He wasn’t Andrew. Andrew was the good guy. Andrew deserved Sarah. And Andrew must have forgotten how even he himself had mentioned that Jordan was out of Brandon’s league—which was accurate. Even Brandon knew that.

  The waitress placing their beverages on the table didn’t stop Andrew from pressing on. “What happened between you two? I mean, if you like her, don’t just give up, man. Imagine if I had let Sarah break up with me that time I had to sleep at your house for two weeks when she kicked me out?”

  “Your food will be ready in a few minutes.” Anna smiled. “Let me know if there’s anything else I can get you in the meantime.”

  Andrew nodded his appreciation, and when the waitress stepped away, Brandon spoke.

  “Jordan and I can’t be, and it’s not about giving up. It’s about being the good guy for once. You joke about me keeping h
er close, but I like the friendship I have with her, and it barely survived when we tried to date.” He shrugged. “She’s fun, and I like having her around. I would rather have that than risk losing all of her.”

  Andrew beamed. “Aw, how cute! If I didn’t know any better, I would say—”

  “Dude, don’t even—you sound like motherfucking Damian.” Sadness mirrored from one man’s face to the other. “Damn, I miss him.”

  Andrew scratched his head. “Yeah. The bachelor party won’t be the same without him, that’s for sure. And so we’re clear, I would have chosen him as my best man, instead of you,” Andrew jested. “Anyway, back to your friend Jordan. Sarah says to remind you she’s off limits. The two of them actually hung out this week.”

  “I know what you’re doing, dude, but it’s not like when Damian and I would make bets on who gets the girl. The part of this conversation I’m deciding to listen to is where you said staying with Sarah after that fight saved your relationship. For that reason, you of all people should agree with me that Kelly deserves a second chance.”

  Jordan climbed the steps to the Kuvats’ porch, her body warm even with the slight chill in the air. When Brandon gave her the address, she’d expected a mansion, not the humble, two-story house in a suburban neighborhood before her. A Thanksgiving wreath hung on the door. Although considering how down-to-earth Brandon was, she shouldn’t have been surprised.

  She rang the bell and surveyed the cars in the driveway before looking down, hoping her mid-thigh, burgundy dress and black tights were fitting for the occasion. Pumpkins were stacked around the porch with some orange fall mums . . . and more intriguingly, pink roses. The delicate petals looked much like the one Brandon had given her some time ago.