Keeping Her Close: A Slow Burn Standalone

by Casey Diam

  “Don’t touch me. How can you fucking stand there and lie to my face? Are you serious right now? I trusted you. I fucking love you. Why, why would you do this to me?” As his eyes burned with tears, he clenched his fists in desperation. Anger, disappointment, and agony roared through him. “Who’s the father? Who’s the fucking father? Because it’s not me,” he yelled, taking the test results out of his pocket and dropping them on the floor.

  Hailey stared at him in shock. “I’m sorry,” she cried, and then the baby joined in from the bedroom, making his heart ache even more.

  Shaking his head, he hurried out of the apartment. Hailey pled for him, but he had to leave before he lost his goddamn mind.

  After that, barely functional and wallowing in grief in a hotel room by himself, he wondered over and over why it had taken him almost two months to find out he was raising someone else’s child, and over eleven months to realize his fiancée had been cheating on him. He would look like an idiot in front of his family, friends, and fellow soldiers.

  Remembering that pain, Brandon knew what he had to do. “Kelly?” He waited for a response, hoping she hadn’t fallen asleep while he was reliving that memory. “I can’t do this. I’m sorry.”

  “What?” she asked, sounding confused.

  He turned on the bedside lamp and looked at her. “I thought I could get past the whole you-sleeping-with-someone-else thing. But I can’t.”

  She bit her lip. “Then why did you bring me here?”

  He shook his head. “I don’t know. I thought I could, but I can’t. I’m sorry. You can stay, or I can get a car to take you to the airport in the morning. It’s up to you.” He moved to the edge of the bed and stood. “I’ll sleep on the couch.”

  Brandon awoke to the aroma of breakfast food and coffee. Yawning, he looked at the clock on the living room wall. Eight in the morning. The next thing he saw was Adrianna and Jordan on the loveseat in front of the fireplace, and then his parents sitting at the dining table eating breakfast.

  “Looks like the birthday boy is awake,” his mother said, leaning her head on her hand. His parents had their own suite but always made breakfast for everyone in his group on trips. “It was just yesterday you were throwing off your diapers and running around naked.”

  “Happy birthday,” his dad said.

  Adrianna smiled at him.

  His stomach ached, and he felt sick and disgusted with everything.

  His mom walked to the sofa and bent down to kiss his forehead. “Happy birthday, honey.”

  “Thanks, Mom,” he said, closing his eyes.

  She rested the back of her hand on his forehead. “Are you okay?”

  “Yeah,” he mumbled. “Just tired.”

  “What’s up, loser? Doesn’t look like you’re taking old age too well,” Andrew said, plopping down on him.

  “Good morning!” Sarah greeted everyone as she walked into the living area, and upon seeing her fiancé, she jumped on top of him, which crushed Brandon farther into the couch.

  “Guys, come on,” Brandon protested. Now that there was no way he could go back to sleep, he needed to check his emails and get updates from the driver who would be picking up Kelly.

  “Oh look, Brandon moody and at full disadvantage? Are you ticklish, by any chance?” Jordan smiled down at him with a spark in her eye.

  But even as his heart drummed a sweet melody from her attention, his stomach ached. He was an asshole, flirting with her the whole time she’d been dating Greg, yet wanting to know if she was happy. What the fuck was wrong with him? And why didn’t she hate his guts?

  He considered her eyes, but she was too playful for him to figure out what she was up to as her fingers plunged into his sides.

  Andrew, Sarah, Jordan, and he were a giggling mess on the couch until he looked up. If eyes could set someone on fire, Brandon was certain they would all be in flames right now. Thankfully, Kelly didn’t have that power.

  A winter wonderland.

  From the white blanket covering the tops of buildings to the rich green pine trees draped with snow, it was a great change of scenery, and Jordan couldn’t complain.

  She maneuvered down the mountain on her skis in full winter gear, looking like the pro she wasn’t. Although, Brandon’s parents had given her and Adrianna some great pointers—like the famous “make your skis look like a pizza slice,” don’t let the tips cross, and lean forward. But since Kim’s body was still weakened and in recovery, she only went for one run with them before retiring for the day.

  After a few hours, Jordan was more comfortable on her skis than Adrianna, who was still struggling since it was her very first time on the slopes. She slowed to a horizontal stop and peered up the mountain in time to see Adrianna wiping out. Then out of nowhere, familiar colors came flying down on their snowboards—Sarah’s purple jacket, Andrew’s neon green jacket, and Brandon’s orange pants. The three had left her and Adrianna on the beginner trail some time ago. And now she saw why. They looked like experts.

  As they should; they’d been doing this for years.

  Brandon did a front flip, and her heart thumped in fear for his life. But as he landed without a flaw, her relentless need to have him ramped up. The coziness of their suite and Kelly’s departure had only magnified her craving for him, and his little athletic show wasn’t doing her libido any good. Coming down fast, he made an abrupt stop beside her, causing her to lose her balance.

  “Shit,” Jordan swore as her skis slid out from under her and she landed on her side.

  “Sorry, I didn’t mean to make you fall. Are you guys going to lunch now?” Brandon asked right before the two other boarders stopped next to him.

  He’d been surrounded by people all day, and she desperately wanted him alone so she could talk to him. She was curious about the whole Kelly situation, and she secretly hoped they’d parted ways for good—not just for her own selfish reasons, but also because Kelly hadn’t been good to him, and she’d broken up with Greg.

  “I don’t know,” she groaned.

  “I ran into these awesome girls. Is it cool if they join us for lunch?” Brandon asked.

  As bitterness rose inside, she squinted through her goggles, wanting to yell at him. Of course he’d already met not one, but two women. It hadn’t even been a day.

  “Yes, totally cool.” Jordan rolled her eyes, making no attempt to move from where she lay on the ground while Brandon rubbed his new prospects in her face.

  The last thing she wanted was to sit at lunch smiling at the next girls he’d be screwing. It was his birthday after all—and probably why he’d sent Kelly on her way. Why have one when he could have two? She was so stupid. Why did she still want him after everything he’d done, proving to her over and over again how wrong he was for her?

  He rode off with the girls, leaving Adrianna, Andrew, and Sarah behind.

  “He drives me freaking crazy. Why does he do that!” Jordan exclaimed. “Ugh!”

  “I’m going with Brandon,” Andrew said, pointing his board downhill and sliding off.

  “What’s going on?” Sarah asked, taking a seat on the snow since Jordan still made no attempt to move.

  “Nothing.” She scowled, leaving out how mentally unstable she was becoming where Brandon was concerned. Her thoughts were giving her whiplash.

  “Is there a classy way to take a seat with these skis on? Ugh, I feel like a penguin,” Adrianna said.

  “Are you sure it had nothing to do with the girls?” Sarah asked, moving her goggles from her eyes to the top of her burgundy beanie. “They’re pretty rad. Like, they’re better at snowboarding than Brandon.”

  “No, ugh!” Jordan lied, now understanding how impossible it would be to even compete with Brandon’s new arm candies. What had he seen in her in the first place? Sighing, she changed the subject. “I broke up with Greg.”

  “When? And why?” Sarah asked. “I thought you liked him.”

  A few people skied around them since they sat in the middle
of the slope like imbeciles.

  “I thought I did too,” Jordan said.

  “Does it have anything to do with the fact that you and Brandon are completely into each other but for some dumb reason date other people?” Adrianna asked.

  “Adrianna, you’re being ridiculous. In case you haven’t noticed, Brandon isn’t exactly cut out for dating.” The only thing that man was good for was frustrating her.

  “Well, I heard through the grapevine they already dated,” Sarah said.

  “What!” Adrianna screeched so hard she lost her balance, screaming as she landed on the good old ground.

  Sarah and Jordan laughed as Adrianna groaned.

  “That’s exactly how I wanted to react when I found out.” Sarah sniffed.

  “Adrianna!” Andrew yelled down from the chairlift.

  The girls looked up and around until they spotted Andrew and Brandon waving.

  “We saw that!”

  “Of course,” Adrianna said. “But seriously, Jo, how could you not tell me about this? I thought we were best friends.”

  “You didn’t tell me about his friend, either, remember?” Jordan shot back before thinking. “Sorry, I didn’t mean to . . . It’s just that we have our reasons for doing the things we do. For me . . .” She frowned. “I knew it wouldn’t work out, so that’s why I didn’t say anything. I mean, you guys see how he is.”

  “He’s definitely a big jerk. But he does like having you around,” Sarah offered.

  Yeah, to torture me. Jordan scowled.

  The day hurried along with little to no additional drama, and before they knew it, they were leaving dinner and heading to a bar to continue the celebration of Brandon. Within twenty minutes, he decided it was time for karaoke, and he wasn’t even drunk. He chose “Uptown Funk,” and his friends, Adrianna, and the two annoyingly attractive snowboarding chicks got on the stage to perform with him, but Jordan stayed in her seat.

  “I’ll video you guys,” she said. “It’s fine.”

  But it wasn’t, and it was getting harder by the minute to pretend. Her heart was being minced to pieces as she watched him charm woman after woman.

  Like bees to honey, she thought as the music started.

  In spite of her mood, she smiled as Brandon stood in the middle of the group, grabbing the microphone, spinning, kicking his feet out, then grabbing his crotch like he was Michael Jackson. It was literally impossible to stay pissed at him while he sang the perfect song for his fat ego. He was hot. So damn hot.

  By the end of the song, Jordan wasn’t the only one enjoying the antics of Brandon and their friends. Loud, unfiltered amusement echoed in the bar as people sang along. And as Brandon sang something about sex and freakiness, his eyes locked on hers. Oh, man. Those words, his gaze, and that damn smile were her undoing. Taking it a bit further, he pointed at her, and a primal urge burned through her body, making her sex clench. Damn him.

  Brandon jumped around, and with his back now facing the crowd, he proceeded to swivel his hips with the rhythm.

  “Oh my gosh.” Jordan laughed to herself, shaking her head.

  A woman she hadn’t noticed standing next to her said, “You’re so lucky.”

  Jordan looked at the woman. “What makes you say that?”

  “He’s your birthday boy, isn’t he? He’s quite a catch.” The woman winked.

  Jordan smiled. “On the contrary, he’s not my birthday boy.”

  “Hmm, interesting . . .” the woman said.

  Jordan jerked her head back, now curious about what the stranger thought. “What?”

  “You’ll figure it out.” The woman smiled, and Jordan’s eyebrows furrowed. What the hell? Figure what out?

  After a few more hours, the group decided to bring the party back to the heated outdoor pool. And as they were leaving the bar, both of the “pretty rad” girls kissed Brandon’s cheeks. Right then, Jordan hit her breaking point. She’d had enough. Her feelings for him were stronger than she’d realized, and it was crushing to see him move on and sleep around. She’d been in denial, but those kisses, even if they were on his cheeks, destroyed any hope of things working out between them.

  Though she was determined to stay locked in her room for the rest of the night—or trip, even—Adrianna and Sarah, who’d consumed a fair amount of alcohol, begged her to join them at the pool. Faking a headache was not enough to deter them in their drunken state, which only made them more persistent. So here she was, heading to the pool with her hair pinned high on her head, and her heart sinking to the deepest cavity in her chest.

  The pool behind the resort glimmered in the night amidst snow-clad boulders, a steady mist soaring above its water. Frigid air nipped at her exposed skin, causing her to hurry to the edge. Dropping her towel, she shivered her way down the steps and into the welcoming warmth. She saw only a few people she knew, which made her certain it was against the rules to utilize the amenities at the current hour.

  “Aren’t you glad you came out?” Adrianna asked. “It’s so beautiful here.”

  “Crap, I forgot to use the bathroom, and I don’t want to go out in the cold again,” Sarah whined.

  “Dammit, me too,” Adrianna said. “Come on, we can go together.”

  “Ugh, now I have to wait by myself.” Jordan frowned, looking around and rolling her eyes when she found Brandon and his two honeybees, laughing and pushing each other around at the other end of the pool. Great!

  Suddenly the lights went off in the pool area, then everywhere on the back half of the resort. Jordan held her breath, looking at the few lighted rooms a couple floors up on the building. Those lights were not enough to seep into the blackness surrounding her. Her heart beat furiously as her feet rooted to the bottom of the pool. Water and darkness—her least favorite combination. Lovely, not lovely. The need to flee was there, only she couldn’t move. A splash of water sounded and she heard faint voices chatting in the distance. She tried to swallow the lump growing in her throat, her mind racing as everything remained black. The water moved around her and the hair at the back of her neck spiked. At the sound of another now-closer splash, she gasped.

  “It’s okay. It’s me,” Brandon soothed, enclosing her in his arms. “I thought you might be a little worried out here.”

  “Oh my God,” she breathed, clinging to him. “What’s happening?”

  He caressed her back. “If it’s what I think, then my friends are recreating something that happened five years ago. It’s okay, though; you’re safe with me either way, I promise.”

  Relaxing into his arms, she shut down the thoughts that had been driving her crazy, deciding to just do what she wanted. He was good at tormenting her, but he was also good at quieting her thoughts. Lifting her hands up to the back of his neck, she pulled him down and brought his face close until their foreheads touched. She tilted her head and touched her lips to his, and when she felt the warm, familiar softness she hadn’t forgotten, she pressed her wanting mouth to his.

  A heavy sigh escaped him as he kissed her back. Then, as if coming to his senses, he pulled away an inch.

  “We can’t do this. You’re with Greg,” he muttered.

  “I broke up with him,” Jordan breathed.

  “Fuck,” Brandon said before crushing his lips to hers. With his fervent kiss and the lustful energy building around them, it was only a matter of time before swimsuits would start slipping off, a matter of time before the heat radiating from their bodies would help warm the pool and not the other way around. A loud boom jerked them apart.

  Moving behind her, Brandon pointed to the sky. “Fireworks.”

  “Oh,” Jordan said, looking up and discovering the burst of colors as they evaporated, then lit up again as another burst ignited. “This is amazing. Did they do this for your birthday?”

  “Yeah.”

  “You have incredible friends.”

  He squeezed her shoulders. “I do.”

  Jordan rushed back to the suite, her heart pounding after what had
transpired between her and Brandon. Locking herself in the bathroom for a quick shower, her conscience attacked. Whether she wanted him or not, he was still all wrong for her—wasn’t he? He’d asked about Greg, so surely that meant he wasn’t still with Kelly . . . but he hadn’t actually said that. Then there were those two girls, visibly prepared to give him the night of his life. Plus every waitress and Facebook connection in the world . . .

  She shouldn’t have kissed him. What was she thinking? She was in way over her head.

  She shrugged into her oversized, white sleep tee and sleep shorts to cool her body down, but put on some cozy socks to warm her feet. Starting a pot of water for tea, she sat on the couch in front of the fireplace, iPad in hand, feet up, and earbuds plugged into her ears.

  She was sipping her tea a little while later when she heard voices, then the front door closing. Pausing her music, she strained her ears to listen, wondering if Brandon had brought the girls back with him. Feeling the onset of heartache, she turned the volume up in her ears. She couldn’t listen. Not to that.

  Brandon’s deep voice startled her a few minutes later. It always had a way of reverberating straight through her. “Mmm, tea. Did you make me some?”

  Looking over her shoulder, she saw him coming toward her in gray joggers and a white T-shirt. She cursed those whiplash thoughts again as desire soared at the possibility he was here for her. Jordan’s eyes lowered to the slight bulge at his crotch. She could practically see everything through those pants. Why did he have to look so erotic?

  Pulling an earbud from her ear, she swallowed. “I didn’t. I thought you were bringing the party back here.”

  Bending over the back of the couch, he whispered, “I considered it, but not after Jordan Artesian kissed me and ran off without a word.”

  He took her teacup and sipped, walking around to the front of the couch. A sporty, male bodywash scent fanned over her nose as he sat next to her.

  “Ginger tea?”

  She nodded, yearning to get close, to kiss him again. She swallowed, trying to soothe her dry throat. “Sorry for disrupting your plans for the night. I’m sure you were going to have a blast.”