Addicted To Greed

by Catherine Putsche

  “Wow , I guess I’ll just have to take your word for it, thanks for the advice, to be honest I was ready to walk at any minute, my sisters never spoken to me like this before and it’s really upsetting. I guess it’s my inexperience of all this, I have never seen a baby come into this world and the thought of it terrifies the life out of me.”

  “ Just try and put yourself in your sisters position, this is her first baby, she’s probably more terrified than any of us here and there’s nothing comparable to the pain of the contractions, just try and reassure her that it will soon be over.”

  “I will and thanks again.”

  “Don’t mention it, I’ll be back on shift at eight in the morning and I’ll be sure to look in on your sister and the baby.” With that the nurse took off looking back at Destiny once giving her a wink. Destiny recalled if it wasn’t for that nurse she doubted she would have stuck around for much longer, but luckily she did and within the hour Broody was born via forceps as Ella had no strength left to push and Destiny was the first person to hold her nephew. The birth of Broody changed Destiny in a way she never thought possible, she became the greatest aunty she could be, over spoiling him, buying him designer grows and booties, spending all her spare time with him, nursing him, talking and playing with him. Ella didn’t get much of a look in when Destiny was around, she seemed to welcome her company as Ian Dumbridge had done the dirty on her and left just before little Broody was born. Destiny moved in with Ella and Broody, their mother didn’t seem to mind as long as she gave her word that she would help and keep up with her schoolwork, their father was outraged at the birth of his first grandchild “Born out of wed lock, with little or no financial help from the father, If I were you Ella I´d consider adoption!”

  Destiny remembered that this is when Ella cut ties with their father and told him to stay out of her affairs as they no longer concerned him. It wasn’t long after the birth of Broody that Destiny noticed that Ella became more and more withdrawn from the world outside, from morning until bedtime Ella wouldn’t even bother to get out of her dressing gown, brush her hair or pay any attention to herself anymore, Ella began to lose interest in her strict diet she had put herself on after the birth as she had gained over three stone during her pregnancy and began to overeat, ordering takeaways every evening, not bothering to clear the empty cartons of food.

  Destiny knew her sister missed Ian as she had confessed that he was the only guy she had ever really loved and Destiny put it down to this at first, but as Ella’s behavior deteriorated to the point that she would only get out of bed when Broody needed changing or feeding, Destiny began to worry. Destiny looked into her sister’s lifeless eyes day in day out and decided to mention Ella’s behaviour to the mid wife on her next visit. Destiny wasn’t worried for Broody he had everything he needed, especially as she was there to make sure he also had some fun and plenty of days out of the house that Ella was beginning to make into her own prison. Every time Destiny broached the subject of a day out, the more Ella began to withdraw. After explaining this all to the midwife, the midwife ran over the likelihood of Ella having post natal depression, which was quite common after the birth. Destiny felt like she was betraying her sister on some level, by talking to the mid wife behind her back, the mid wife asked Destiny a series of questions, several of which she didn’t like the sound of “Does Ella respond to Broody’s needs?”

  Destiny recalled looking at the midwife with a mixture of confusion and shock and replied, “Of course she does, and Broody gets all the attention he needs.”

  “Okay Destiny what I am trying to establish her is if Broody is in any danger!”

  “What do you mean danger?” “Sometimes with post natal depression the mother becomes withdrawn from her child and this can result in the child becoming neglected in some form or another, the child’s needs can be too demanding and the mother may feel a little overwhelmed by them. I need to establish if there’s a risk factor present here with Broody?”

  “So what you are trying to say it that if that is what my sister is suffering from post-natal depression, that she would put Broody at risk, in which I very much doubt. What are the likely risks?”

  “Neglect, frustration, anger, or a mixture of all of them!” “This is nonsense, there’s no way on this planet that my sister would put Broody at risk, he doesn’t get neglected in any shape or form, quite the opposite, he is always well fed, washed and put into fresh clothes daily, entertained and most of all loved and cherished, maybe you’re not listening to me, it’s not Broody I am worried about it is my sister!”

  “I understand what you are saying to me Destiny, but it’s my job to look out for the welfare of both mother and baby and I believe that Broody is not at risk here, however it is my job to ask such questions in order to eliminate them. I’d very much like to talk with Ella about how she’s feeling and offer her the right support or medication that may help her.”

  “Well I am glad we’ve both established that Broody isn’t at any risk, because if I thought for one moment he was you’d be the first person I’d be informing. Ella dotes on Broody, as do I, my biggest concern it for my sister’s well being, however getting her to talk may be your biggest challenge, good luck.”

  It was agreed that Destiny would take Broody out for the afternoon so the midwife and Ella could have some space. Destiny couldn’t help feeling disloyal to Ella, the last thing she wanted was for her to be scrutinized as a mother, as this would break her sisters heart and she knew how much she loved Broody, however Broody wasn’t the issue here. Still she trusted the midwife with all this and had a feeling there would be a good outcome.

  Destiny took Broody off see Santa Clause, in his grotto, at the local Victoria House, they queued over an hour to see him, luckily it was inside on the ground floor of the building and they didn’t freeze their butts off, what made it special was that Broody seemed mesmerised by the old man and wouldn’t take his eyes off him. Destiny recalled Broody letting out a number of wonderful baby sounds and held onto his small wrapped present until he drifted into a deep contented sleep.

  Destiny arrived home with Broody just after four in the afternoon and to her surprise Ella was standing on a chair dressing the Christmas tree turning round to greet them both with a huge beaming smile. Destiny noticed Ella was no longer in her dressing gown and that she had applied a little makeup.

  Wow what had happened in the few hours while she was away? Destiny thought but never dared say aloud.

  Broody was still in a deep sleep and Ella asked gently, “Destiny, please sit down, I have something I want to talk to you about.” Destiny sat down a little apprehensive, dreading what it maybe, was she in trouble? Did the midwife spill the beans to Ella? She tried to act as though everything was normal and asked innocently, “What’s eating you up?”

  “You may of noticed that I haven’t been quite myself recently and today I told the mid wife how I have been feeling, it’s been really hard to explain my feelings as I doubted anyone would understand, let alone listen, it all started when Broody was born and Ian left, I began to feel isolated and lonely, so much so I thought every day was a chore just to wake up, and get through the day. It’s like I have this really deep feeling of

  worthlessness.”

  Ella stopped and began to weep slightly. Destiny automatically put her arms around her elder sister cradling her head. “It’s ok, you don’t need to tell me if it upsets you, I understand.” “Talking makes me feel better, there’s so much locked up inside, it’s been this way for a long time now and I need how to learn how to let it go. I remember being so happy and carefree before I met Ian, he was the love of my life and I’ll never understand how he could have walked out on me and beautiful Broody. All this time I’ve been spent racking my brains on what I could have done, I somehow managed to convince myself it was all my fault and began to blame myself for him leaving and then I began to hate myself, I wanted to punish myself, no one else just me and I began to obsess on how I could
do this, by

  withdrawing from all the things I liked and well I think you know the rest Destiny, don’t you?”

  “Y eah I guess, I have been really worried about you, but I wasn’t sure what was going on with you, I just saw you not wanting to do anything anymore.”

  “That’s an understatement I didn’t even want to get out of bed, the only time I did was to feed, change or bath Broody, he’s the only thing that’s kept me going through all of this, having another little life to look after, completely reliant on me and it’s made me realise I can’t do this to myself any longer. The mid wife mentioned counseling and maybe some anti depressants to get through this. I’m willing to try both.”

  “Well I am glad to hear it, not that you’ve been feeling the way you have because that’s really terrible, but because you’ve recognised that you maybe need a little help on the way to recovery.”

  “There’s another thing I need to tell you little sis, I don’t know what I’d of done if it wasn’t for you and I am sincerely thankful for this.”

  Destiny bit on her lip to hold back her tears, she knew finally that Ella’s was going to be ok and get through this, because she wanted to.

  “Let’s celebrate, how about we go to Frankie and Bennies?” “You read my mind Destiny.”

  Several months passed and Destiny felt it was time to move back home, her mother would often quiz her about her time at Ella’s, if everything was ok? How Ella was managing as a single parent? How Broody was? And so on, it was their secret that Ella needed a little help to get through. Their father came down off his high horse after their Christmas get together and found himself bonding with his first grandchild; it became hard to tear them apart at times. He setup a monthly allowance for Ella and Broody, very generous, they would never go without anything they needed and would be able to live comfortably, when Ella went back to work at the wedding boutique, providing she wanted to go back to work, he would support her either way.

  ♣ Here Destiny was several years later sitting waiting for her older sister, She was already over 15 minutes late and texted Destiny to let her know she would be a further 10 minutes. Destiny sat and waited patiently admiring the cool yet fresh ambience of this new little restaurant, with its Moroccan red glossy tiled floors and spiral staircase, its fresh thick cream patterned voiles hanging up delicately at each little window and the smell of fresh bread been stone baked behind the service counter. The scent alone was making her really hungry, but since her date with Spencer her appetite was not how it used to be, it was more suppressed to say the least. Was she in love? Is this how love made you feel? Constant little butterflies fluttering round in the depths of her stomach? Food was her greatest love and right now she didn’t love it. Glancing over the menu, she decided to order a white wine spritzer; hopefully this will give her appetite a boost.

  Since Ella’s ordeal she had been off anti depressan ts for over six months now, there were no more signs of struggle on her face and she seemed a lot happier in general. The first thing Destiny noticed as she entered the restaurant was her confident walk, being 5 feet 11 inches, it was hard to miss especially if she wore heels. Ella looked amazing, her slender figure had returned after dropping the baby weight and what struck Destiny the most was her long black locks of hair and chiseled high cheekbones, she looked absolutely stunning and that long gone smile had returned. Destiny noticed she got the restaurants entire heads turning, that’s my sister she thought and she was so proud of her, she just didn’t know how much.

  “Where’s Broody? I have him the coolest ever soother from the Disney outlet!”

  “He’s with Mrs Walsh, she insisted I enjoy myself alone with you, and besides she can’t resist him, she finds him adorable.” “Ah, lovely Mrs Walsh, well I guess we all share the same opinion of the little guy.”

  “I couldn’t resist this charming little outfit also, its Winnie the pooh matching jersey with joggers and booties.” “Oh my god that’s so cute Destiny, thanks. Now tell me all about your hot date, I’ve got the whole afternoon off, I’m all ears!”

  “His name s Spencer Pratt, he’s a freshman at St John’s!” Ella burst out laughing and couldn’t keep a straight face. “His second names Pratt, what a funny surname!”

  “I know it sounds funny, it took a while for me to get used to it.” “Exactly how long? I thought this was your first date?

  “Well officially it was my first date, however since I started St John’s, I have secretly held a crush, his name had me laughing too when I first heard it, however I am passed that now!”

  “Sounds serious c’mon spill the beans . I wanna her everything!”

  The waiter approached them; Ella ordered them two white wine spritzers.

  “No not serious, not yet anyway, we have another date tomorrow night.”

  “So where did he take you?”

  “You’re not gonna believe this he took me sailing on his father’s yacht.”

  “Wow! You luck thing, how extravagant, I don’t suppose he has a brother around my age?” With this they both broke into a fit of laughter, Destiny could always rely on Ella to slice the atmosphere with her wicked sense of humor.

  “Yeah he has his names James but he’s a little too young for you!”

  “How old are we talking?”

  “Sixteen, although I hear he’s reaching his seventeenth birthday next month.”

  “What a shame a few years older and that would have been fun!” The waiter approached them both again; they ordered another two white wine spritzers.

  At this rate Destiny could imagine herself in bed by tea time. It’s funny because whenever they both got together, they could polish off more than several bottles of wine and still manage to make their separate journeys home safely.

  “So c’mon where’s he taking you tomorrow?”

  “It’s a surprise, and I have no idea but he did hint that I will need a spare set of clothes!”

  “Sounds ominous, no other clues?”

  “Not yet but I’m working on it!” “Well it seems he’s keep ing you on your feet, I wish I had some luck with the opposite sex at the moment, I think I am ready to start dating again!”

  “Really, wow that’s great, is there anyone in particular you’ve got in mind?” “There’s a guy, but I am not sure if he’s interested, he’s currently installing our air conditioning at work, he seems a little quiet and shy, I’ve tried to build up small talk with him and he responds really well, however whenever I mention anything personal, he changes the subject.”

  Destiny couldn’t belie ve the way her sister eyes were lighting up and sensed that she was very keen to get to know this guy, maybe a little too keen.

  “Have you considered playing it cool, giving him the cold shoulder, see if this gets his attention?”

  “No I haven’t, maybe I’ve been a little too friendly towards him!” Destiny could see the realisation of what she had just said sink in on her sister’s face and then Ella smirked, one of her old devious smirks.

  Destiny soon realised that Ella was back to her old tricks, in the male department, in which she was happy about, but a little concerned, she worried Ella wore her heart on her sleeve and usually got burnt as a result of this, but who was she to say anything, what did she know? It’s not like she had any real experience with men to offer any real practical advice, however she did know one thing most men didn’t liked to be chased by the opposite sex as most men liked to be considered the hunters. She couldn’t say this for all men, as she was sure that they were exceptions to the rule. She just wanted to make Ella think before she acted.

  “ One thing I have learnt with men especially is to keep a little part of me back, until I feel the times right, especially with Spencer and it seems to be working so far, although it’s early days yet!”

  “The problem with me D estiny is I’m just too friendly for my own good, especially to men I find attractive, I wish I could learn how to restrain myself like you, but you know what it’s like when
you start opening up to a man, I just let it all out and I know it’s something I need to work on, they don’t need to know my whole life story on the first date do they?”

  “No, or even before the first date for that matter.” They both broke out into more laughter, there was nothing like real honesty between them, they kept nothing back with each other, it had was always been this way since Destiny could remember, except the incident with the mid wife, that she still had her reservations about to some degree, however if she hadn’t intervened Ella wouldn’t of got the help and support she really needed and maybe she wouldn’t be here now looking the way she did or talking the way she was, she was definitely back to her own self and Destiny was so proud of her.

  They finished off the afternoon sharing a calzone pizza; it was delicious, followed by strong Italian coffee, heading for the shopping center for a little retail therapy. Destiny was desperate to find something for her date tomorrow night and Ella wanted to find a sophisticated outfit for work to woo the air conditioning guy.

  Ella agreed that she was going to play it cool, see if this caught his attention. Destiny wished her sister all the luck in the world, hoping that she had given Ella some good advice after all, however only time would tell.

  Ella promised Destiny that she would let her know if there were any developments on that front. As they parted with their many shopping bags they agreed that they would meet up Eldorado’s next Friday night.

  Destiny’s second, third and fourth date with Spencer went down with a bang, they both fell head over heels in love with each other and became inseparable, always hand in hand with their books and many friends. They became a social couple, often going on holiday to the Lake District, where Spencer’s father had a five bed roomed fairytale rural farm house, always inviting their friends, often other couples they had befriended at university sharing the love of the great outdoors. They both enjoyed abseiling and mountain climbing the most. They dated for all of two years before Spencer surprisingly announced soon after he graduated from St John’s he wanted to go travelling around Canada and America.