Hair in All The Wrong Places

by Andrew Buckley

  Sleep well, wolf-pup.

  The alarm didn’t even get a chance to go off at 6:00 a.m. Colin’s stomach had already woken him up at 5:30 a.m. demanding to be fed. He had quietly slipped downstairs, defrosted a steak, and eaten the whole thing without cooking it. Two bowls of cornflakes, a glass of juice, and six pieces of toast later, and Colin finally felt full. He made his way to the bathroom, stopping as he caught his reflection. “Hair,” said Colin, which proved to be a bit of an understatement.

  His dark hair was no longer straggly; it was fuller, richer, like he’d stepped out of a high-priced shampoo commercial. The beard he had shaved the night before had already grown back. It was short, but a beard nonetheless. His forearms, legs, and chest were now showing signs of hair growth, but that wasn’t nearly as impressive as his muscle development. Colin bordered on skeletal just a few days ago. Now he could pass for an athlete. The muscles weren’t bulky, but they were defined.

  I have a six-pack!

  With everything going on, Colin knew that he shouldn’t feel any joy at all in what was happening. He might be a murderer. But—

  I look amazing!

  As an unwanted, unloved teenager with the skin complexion of a hobo and the body mass of an under-fed stick insect, it was impossible for Colin not to find joy in this change.

  Colin shaved, showered, and then dressed in the baggiest clothing he owned. He packed his notepad and—

  Bacon!

  The enticing aroma of cooking bacon hit him, and his stomach suddenly felt less full. Leaping from the top of the stairs and landing lightly at the bottom, Colin was in the kitchen before he’d even decided to leave his bedroom.

  His grandmother was frying a pan of bacon, and the smell was intoxicating. A year ago, Colin would have been trying to figure out how a blind old lady was able to cook, but he’d since stopped worrying about it and accepted that his grandmother was more than able to do things. Blind or not.

  “What do you want?” asked his grandmother.

  “Could I have some of that?” said Colin, his mouth watering.

  “Over a year you’ve lived here and you’ve never asked me to make you breakfast,” stated his grandmother. She didn’t sound angry, she sounded more surprised.

  “I always assumed you wouldn’t want to.”

  She let out a sharp laugh. “Well this is just a week for surprises, isn’t it?”

  Colin gratefully accepted a plate piled high with over half the bacon from the pan. He sat at the small table and started to devour it. “Thank you,” said Colin between bites.

  The old woman plated her own food and sat across from Colin. “Something’s happened to you, boy.”

  Silas’s advice of keeping a low profile rang through his head. Interacting with his grandmother was definitely out of the ordinary. “Probably just, uh, a growth spurt?”

  His grandmother’s eyes narrowed. “Not just the food, there’s something else. This gallivanting around at night with strange girls. Watch out for that Emerson girl, she can raise hell!”

  “I … it’s … well—”

  “Can it! Over a year you’ve been here. Barely any friends, nothing special about you at all, and all of a sudden you’re eating like a horse, talking back to me, and hanging out with a girl. And you look different too!”

  “Grandma, you’re blind.”

  “Not so blind that I don’t see what’s going on in my own town. You mark my words, boy! You be careful. Elkwood is a fragile town. We all do our part. You be careful you don’t break it.”

  “I have to go.” Colin left the table and headed down the hallway.

  “Colin,” said his grandmother, “I’ll be watching you.”

  Colin headed out the front door.

  Well that was creepy and uncomfortable.

  The fog was thick as Colin started his trek to school. He was tempted to run, to feel the wind in his face; he could be at school in less than five minutes. But the conversation with his grandmother had shaken him and running at inhuman speeds through town, even with the fog, would likely raise suspicion. Colin couldn’t figure out whether his grandmother knew something or if she was just essentially unsettling. Maybe it was both?

  Colin walked past the cemetery on his way to school and saw that Sam’s empty casket was now buried.

  Colin passed kind, old Mrs. Flipple walking her yappy dog, Jinx, who took one look at Colin and bolted, ripping the leash out of Mrs. Flipple’s hands.

  “Yipe! yipe! yipe! yipe!” was all that could be heard from Jinx as he vanished into the fog followed by a shuffling Mrs. Flipple.

  “Come back here, Jinxy! What’s gotten into you?” called Mrs. Flipple.

  Colin smiled.

  Yappy mutt.

  When Colin arrived, the imposing figure of Principal Hebert guarded the school steps as usual. The schoolyard was busy this morning as students gathered, whispering about Sam Bale’s mysterious death. Colin’s ears picked up everything.

  “I heard that it was a mountain lion.”

  “—human sacrifice—”

  “—drug problem—”

  “Gareth Dugan killed him over a candy bar.”

  “—people visited the crime scene.”

  “Principal Hebert did it because Sam never turned his homework in on time.”

  “—a genetically altered goat, bred by the government as a covert killing machine got loose and—”

  “The police came to my house on Saturday.”

  “—hear a gunshot on Friday?”

  “Do you think it’ll happen again?

  “Who will be next?”

  “Mr. Strauss,” boomed the deep baritone voice of Principal Hebert.

  Colin found himself standing in front of the imposing figure. “Oh, hello, Principal Hebert.”

  “It’s nice to see you on time for once.”

  “Yes, I made a special effort this morning.”

  My stomach alarm went off.

  “Let’s try to make it a habit, shall we?”

  “I’ll work on that, sir.”

  “See that you do.”

  Colin entered the school and grabbed some books from his locker, immediately picking up two familiar scents. One made his heart skip a beat, the other made him feel a little ill. Down the hallway, Becca was opening her locker when Gareth Dugan approached her. Even with all the kids in the hallway, Colin could pick up their voices clearly.

  “Becca,” said Gareth.

  “Hi, Gareth. How are you feeling?”

  Colin watched as Gareth rubbed his shoulder.

  “It feels cold sometimes, but otherwise I’m fine.”

  “That’ll happen for a while. You’re lucky it wasn’t worse.”

  “Yeah, well. I just wanted to … uh … say, um, thanks. I don’t fully remember everything but I … well, thanks.”

  Becca smiled politely as Gareth turned and walked away.

  What was that about?

  The first period bell rang, and Colin felt like someone was trying to pull his brain out through his ears. He crouched down and covered his ears until the ringing stopped. When he stood up, Becca was next to him, concern painted across her face. She smelled good.

  “Hi, Colin, you okay?”

  “Becca, hey. Yeah, just a headache.”

  “What did you do to your hair?”

  Colin’s hoodie had slipped off. He must look strange. “Oh, that. It’s a, uh, new shampoo. Natural ingredients adds a, uh, lustrous shine.”

  Becca smiled. “It looks good. Suits you. Come on. Winter will have our heads if we’re late.”

  Ugh, Monday morning biology. As if turning into a hairy killing machine wasn’t enough!

  As they walked into class, Colin’s nose was hit with an overwhelming blast of strong aftershave. Like someone had bathed in it.

  “Take your seats, take your seats!” barked Mr. Winter.

  Colin could practically see vapors rising off Mr. Winter. He was the one wearing the aftershave. A gallon of it. It mad
e Colin’s head swim. Had he always worn so much? It was highly likely and Colin had just never noticed before. Now, thanks to his super sense of smell, it was impossible to ignore. It was like being slapped in the nostrils over and over again.

  Colin and Becca took their usual seats. Jeremy looking as spritely as ever.

  “Hey, Col. How was the weekend? Did you hear that someone went out to the crime scene?”

  “Oh yeah? Was that you?”

  Jeremy looked disappointed. “No, couldn’t convince anyone to go with me. But apparently there was a gunshot out there on Friday night.”

  “I heard something about that. But you know me, stayed home all weekend.”

  “What do you think of Winter’s new do?”

  “What?”

  Looking at Mr. Winter, Colin realized the grumpy old teacher had shaved his head.

  “He’s gone full militant!” said Jeremy, stifling a laugh.

  Wondering what else he hadn’t noticed, Colin looked around the class.

  Gareth and Kevin were in their same old spots, but they both looked tired, and Colin could smell their depression.

  Nothing like one of your friends being killed to take the fun out of bullying people.

  The goth twins were absent.

  Tori wasn’t here yet either, but she was often late. When you’re gorgeous, you can get away with pretty much anything.

  “Principal Hebert,” said Mr. Winter, “has asked me to remind you all that a grief counselor will be available all this week if anyone wants to talk about the unfortunate passing of our friend Mr. Bale. I for one will miss Mr. Bale’s inability to hand in even one piece of homework on time.”

  “Did he just make a joke about the violent death of a student?” whispered Jeremy.

  “Apparently,” said Colin.

  “Do you two have something to add? Mr. Strauss? Mr. Rodson? No, nothing. Then shut up!”

  Mr. Winter started droning on about gray matter and the lack of brain functionality in his class, but Colin found it hard to concentrate. The aftershave was giving him a headache.

  Without warning, an intoxicating fire washed over him, threatening to consume his entire body. Starting to sweat and breathing heavily, he tried to focus, but his senses were going haywire.

  “Sorry I’m late,” said Tori, walking in.

  “Ms. Clemens, so nice of you to grace us with your presence,” said Mr. Winter.

  Whatever was setting Colin off was coming from Tori. She was the most beautiful, awe-inspiring thing he had ever encountered in his life, literally emanating some kind of force. He wanted nothing more than to kiss her.

  Colin gripped his desk, panting.

  “You all right?” asked Jeremy. “You’re looking a bit weird.”

  Mr. Winter thundered over. “Really, Mr. Strauss? Another episode? Do you have some sort of allergy to biology?”

  What is happening to me now?

  Colin, what’s going on?

  Silas! I don’t know, I’m sweating and breathing heavy and …

  And what?

  Colin tried to think of the best way to phrase what he was currently feeling.

  I love her; I want to kiss her. I really, really want to kiss her.

  For a moment, he thought he could hear Silas laughing inside his head.

  I want her! I must have her!

  Who’s her?

  Tori! Tori Clemens. Hottest girl in school. In the world!

  Colin, this shouldn’t be happening. You’ll get these emotional urges, and they’ll be stronger because you’re part animal, but nothing like this. Describe what you’re feeling.

  I feel like I’m on fire. I can hear everything. I can smell everyone. Everything. I can’t see straight. And my heart’s going to explode.

  Colin doubled over in pain.

  “Mr. Rodson, be so kind as to take Mr. Strauss to the nurse.”

  “I’ll take him,” said Becca quickly, not waiting for a response. She grabbed Colin’s arm and helped him off his stool, but Colin could barely move.

  Colin, this is important. What’s your skin feel like?

  It feels tingly, like its moving!

  Colin, listen carefully, you’re changing. Strong sensations, violent acts, powerful emotions. If you can’t control them, they’ll cause a change. You’re young. You can’t control it yet. You have to get out of there.

  Colin turned his head to look at Tori who had taken her seat. Her hair was curly today, she was wearing a tight shirt that accented her ample bosom, and her skirt was so short that the word mini didn’t do it justice. She perched on the stool like a beautiful Greek statue.

  “Colin,” urged Becca in a whisper, “you have to move. Your eyes are doing that weird thing again. They look brighter.”

  Becca says my eyes are changing color.

  Colin! You have to get out of there now! Whatever this girl Tori is, she’s not supposed to have this effect on you. She might not even be human!

  What?

  Get out now!

  Mr. Winter was furiously shouting for order as Becca tried to unsuccessfully move a panting Colin as the entire class watched, laughing. Looking down, Colin saw that one of his nails had grown long and curled itself into a claw. He quickly shoved the hand in his pocket and surrendered control to Becca to get him out of the classroom.

  “Air!” gasped Colin as they staggered into the hallway. They moved quickly toward the nearest exit and out into the cool misty air.

  “What’s happening to you, Colin? You’re burning up!” demanded Becca as they made their way toward the empty football field.

  “Tori.” was all Colin could say.

  “Tori?” Becca repeated, a wave of jealousy wafting from her.

  Had Colin not felt like he was dying he would have been flattered.

  “Not. Like. That.”

  His jaw hurt. It felt like his teeth were growing inside his mouth. His limbs felt heavy, like they were expanding.

  Colin, you have to get away. You’re too far along and you’re too young. You won’t be able to stop the change. Run, now! Head for the forest to the east of the school. I’ll find you!

  Colin pulled away from Becca, and despite his skin feeling like it was trying to melt off his body, he started running across the football field toward the forest.

  “Colin!” shouted Becca.

  “Later!” said Colin, picking up speed.

  You’re not due for a change until the next full moon. This is going to hurt. A lot. Listen to me, listen to my voice!

  Colin barely heard a word. He plunged through the thicket of trees, running for what seemed like an eternity until he couldn’t fight the pain anymore and collapsed next to a creek running through the forest. Slurping greedily at the water with cupped hands, Colin realized his hands weren’t normal. They were bigger, and each finger was tipped with a black claw that looked like it could tear through metal. Silas continued to drone on in his head, but he couldn’t catch any distinct words.

  I’m turning! I’m turning into a werewolf!

  He felt scared, excited, powerful, and nervous all at once. Colin pulled off his hoodie and tried to get his jeans undone, which proved difficult with claws. He kicked off his shoes and lay on the ground gulping air, wearing only underwear and a T-shirt.

  Maybe I’m not changing. Maybe it’s going away.

  That’s when the pain really started.

  Chapter Twelve

  The First Turn

  The change tore through him like a dump truck barrelling through a glass factory. It felt like the worst muscle cramp in the world multiplied by a hundred, covered in gasoline, and then set on fire. Colin’s heart pumped the change throughout his body, every beat bringing new pain, a new sensation. His body convulsed and heaved as his skin stretched to accommodate his expanding muscles. Colin writhed on the ground, feeling his bones lengthen under his skin. His legs grew and stretched into the hind leg of a canine; his feet shifted into a massive paw tipped with vicious claws.


  Colin’s jaw and nose grew into a snout, his teeth sharpening in his mouth, ears extending toward the top of his head. His vision blurred as his eyes enlarged and then everything snapped into a blindingly, perfect clarity. Flailing on the ground and gasping for breath, he heard his voice change, becoming guttural, animalistic. He was growling!

  His arms, legs, chest, stomach, hips, back all made the most disgusting clicking sounds as his bones realigned, muscles expanding around them. Underwear and shirt ripping as his body exploded in size, Colin could tell he was bigger; he even felt heavier. Last of all, hair erupted over his body. One minute skin, the next, hair. Everywhere! It grew fast and thick, covering his entire body. A final wave of pain ran through him, and then Colin stood on all fours and let out a long howl that resonated around the forest.

  He heard Silas before he saw him, but it wasn’t the same man from before. This was Silas, the creature. Leaping from the trees, he landed lightly on his hind legs in front of Colin.

  Can you hear me, Colin?

  I’m … I’m not me.

  You are you! You’re just a different you.

  Do I look like you?

  See for yourself.

  Silas pointed toward the creek with one massive, clawed finger.

  Colin turned, still on all fours and walked shakily toward the creek. Everything around him was clear and bright. With each inhalation, his focus improved. Looking down into the still water, Colin saw himself for the first time.

  He was hideous and beautiful. His fur was a deep charcoal gray, and his eyes like bright amber. His head was shaped like a wolf’s, but it much bigger. Like Silas, he had grown an extra three to four feet, his body proportionate to his new height. Pawing at the water, he discovered his hands were still hands only they were much bigger, covered in hair, and each finger was tipped with a vicious-looking claw.

  Pushing himself to his feet, or rather, his back paws, Colin stretched to his full height.

  You can run on two legs or four. You’ll find there are advantages to both.

  I’m a monster.

  Colin thought it, but he didn’t truly feel that way. Truthfully, he felt amazing.

  Never feel guilty for what you are! This is a gift, Colin. If you use it and learn to control it, it can be something magnificent. If you abuse it, you’ll destroy yourself.