Blissfully Blindsided

by Robin Alexander

  “I straightened up in your living room since you have company coming,” Ronnie said as she walked into the kitchen.

  “Ronnie, do I look presentable?” Chantal asked.

  “You look great for someone who was catapulted across the room and landed on her face. You could use some fluffing, though.” Ronnie mussed Chantal’s hair with her fingers, then licked her finger. “You’ve got a little spot where your mascara ran,” she said as she scrubbed at the smudge.

  Blaze watched with disgust. “You gonna sit there and let her rub spit into your face?”

  “I don’t mind,” Chantal said with a smile.

  Ronnie inspected Chantal’s hair again. “You’ve got a line of gray roots coming in. Want me to dye it for you?”

  “You know how to do that sort of thing?” Chantal asked.

  “I’ve been dyeing mine for ages,” Ronnie said. “I use two different colors to make it look more natural since it’s dark. Yours will be easy because your stylist only used one color. We just have to match it.”

  Blaze stood back and waited for Chantal to say “hell no” because she figured, even though she had retired from acting, she was still very particular about her looks. She was shocked when Chantal said, “I would love that.”

  “I’m great with nails too.” Ronnie held out her hand to Chantal. “That job was not done at a salon. I try to do my daughter, Rosie’s, all the time, but she says she hates glam. I carried that child in my body for nine months and gave birth to Blaze’s twin, not only in looks, but personality too. If you want me to do your nails, I’ll be happy to take care of them.”

  Chantal beamed. “I don’t think I’ll be able to tolerate having my head touched for a few days, but after I’ve healed, I would really enjoy having you glam me up. We could make it a party. Blaze, will you join us?”

  “Ronnie waxed my eyebrows once—correction, a brow. She ripped that wax off, and I had only five hairs. I had to draw on my left brow until it grew back, so the answer to that is a resounding no.”

  “Then what is something we can all do together?” Chantal asked Blaze.

  “Rip off Ronnie’s eyebrows.”

  “What things do we like to do together?” Ronnie asked and stared at Blaze thoughtfully. “Hurl playful insults?”

  Blaze shrugged. “We have a lot of fun with that.”

  “You two don’t have a girls’ night and go out to dinner or for drinks?” Chantal asked.

  “No. Blaze’s store stays open until eight almost every night, so she’s usually there. There’s work, bills to pay, kids to deal with, grass to be cut, clothes to be washed, houses to be cleaned, sleep to catch if we’re lucky. “Actually, since you’ve been here I’ve seen Blaze more than I have in a long time,” Ronnie said thoughtfully.

  Blaze grinned. “Yeah, we’re hugging now, and there are threats of snuggling.” She noticed lights through her kitchen window and headed for the door. “Caleigh’s here.”

  “Oh,” Ronnie began in a goofy voice, “somebody has an ooey gooey crush.”

  Blaze flipped Ronnie off. “Do me a favor and set the table, please.”

  *******

  Caleigh was already out of her car and held up the pizza box as Blaze approached. “If this is their idea of large, the extra-large must come with a luggage cart.”

  “Oh,” Blaze said with a groan. “You got it from Paulie’s. They cut up the toppings really fine, so you get a taste of everything in every bite. It’s so good.” She took the box from Caleigh. “You are so incredibly sweet for being willing to do this.”

  “My pleasure.” Caleigh wrapped her hand around Blaze’s arm as they walked slowly toward the house. She gazed at two big oak trees in the front yard and lanterns suspended from the boughs on cords. “I love those lights.”

  “Thank you. I do too until I have to change the batteries. They come on automatically at night, but when it’s cloudy and the foliage blocks what little sun there is, the lights stay on. I’m out here on a ladder all the time, but I really like the way they look. That’s the bad thing about owning a hardware store. I want all the lawn and garden things we get in. That’s why I have more furniture on my back porch than I do in my living room.”

  “I notice you don’t use your front door. Why is that?”

  “That’s also a bad thing about owning a hardware store,” Blaze said with a smile. “We got in a new sealing foam for cracks and crevices, and I used it on the threshold. Now I nearly have to yank the door off the hinges to open it.”

  Caleigh chuckled. “I love your place. I’ve always loved older houses, and that’s what I was hoping to rent when I came here. The house across the street from Gramp and Gram went up for rent while I was looking for a place. Gramp put a deposit on it before talking to me. It’s not bad, but it’s a brick bungalow that looks like everything else on their street. Oh! You do have a lot of outdoor furniture out here,” she said as they stepped onto the back porch and saw a couch, tables, and chairs.

  “It’s a big porch, and it begged to be decked out with outdoor furniture. I couldn’t resist.” Blaze stopped at the back door. “Chantal and my sister are in the kitchen. Do you need a moment to mentally prepare yourself for exposure to them?”

  “I got this.” Caleigh made her toughest face.

  “You’re so brave.” Blaze opened the door for Caleigh, and Ronnie was in her face the second she stepped inside.

  “Hi, I’m Ronnie Corbin, Blaze’s big sister,” she said as she shook Caleigh’s hand.

  “I’m Caleigh Breaux, it’s so great to meet you.”

  Blaze couldn’t bring herself to introduce Chantal as her mother, so she made a joke to hide her awkwardness. “Yes, I have a monkey and a movie star in my kitchen. Since the monkey has already jumped on you before I had time to make introductions, then you already know who’s standing by the table.”

  “Hello, Caleigh. I’m Chantal, it’s lovely to meet you,” she said warmly.

  Caleigh hurried over to Chantal. “It’s a pleasure to meet you,” she said as Chantal clutched her hand between hers. “I hope you’re not standing for me. I can see that you’re balancing on one foot. May I help you sit back down?”

  “Pretty and charming,” Ronnie whispered and swatted Blaze on the arm. “Way ta go, ho.”

  “I think my luck is finally changing,” Blaze said softly as she watched Caleigh help Chantal sit back down, and then she set the pizza on the table.

  Caleigh opened the box and almost laughed at the way Chantal’s and Ronnie’s eyes glazed over as they stared at the pizza. “Dig in while it’s still hot.”

  Ronnie plopped down beside Chantal. “If you insist.”

  “What would you like to drink?” Blaze asked Caleigh. “I have—”

  “Water,” Ronnie said, still staring at the pizza as though she was in a trance.

  Caleigh laughed when Blaze rolled her eyes at her sister. “I’ll have the same.”

  Blaze grabbed four bottles of water from the refrigerator and set them out before she took a seat. “Don’t be shy, Ronnie,” she quipped when Ronnie snatched a corner piece of the square pizza.

  “Caleigh, are you related to Edie and Dean Breaux?” Chantal asked.

  “They’re my grandparents,” Caleigh said with a smile.

  “I didn’t realize you knew them,” Blaze said as she and Caleigh grabbed slices of the pizza.

  “They were friends of Iona and Tate. Edie, Iona and some of their friends used to bake together often.” Chantal smiled at Caleigh. “Everyone stayed out of their way because they were like mad scientists in the kitchen while they created new recipes.”

  “Blaze told me you just moved here. Where did you live before?” Ronnie asked Caleigh, as she set a slice of pizza on Chantal’s plate.

  “Technically, Nebraska.” Caleigh explained how she’d traveled with her former job and had grown tired of it. “I’m looking forward to working five days a week in the same office and going home instead of to a hotel each night.”r />
  Ronnie grabbed another slice for herself. “I’m going through menopause. That’s why I’m eating like there’s no tomorrow.”

  “I’m doing the same, but I have no excuse. Please forgive me if I don’t add to the conversation for a few minutes,” Chantal added before she took a bite of the pizza.

  “They normally eat like gerbils,” Blaze explained while Chantal and Ronnie moaned and groaned as they chewed seemingly in a competition over who could be the most expressive. “We may have to leave them alone if they get any more carried away.”

  Caleigh grinned. “I’m glad y’all are enjoying it.”

  “This is going to take the place of sex for me now,” Ronnie said between bites. “Everybody turn away if my eyes roll up into my head.”

  “You probably shouldn’t look at her at all,” Blaze suggested to Caleigh. Her brow shot up when Chantal began to squeak as she laughed and chewed at the same time.

  Chapter 10

  For two people who ate like gerbils, Chantal and Ronnie consumed half the pizza. They thanked Caleigh profusely for it, acting as though Caleigh had handed them both a million dollars. Caleigh got a kiss on the cheek and a hug from Ronnie before she left for home.

  “I’m going to leave you two, as well.” Chantal slowly stood. “I’m so full and sleepy, I may fall asleep in the shower.”

  “Are you steady enough to do that on your own?” Blaze asked hesitantly.

  “I fell today because I was being careless, not because I’m weak.” Chantal smiled at Caleigh. “It was so nice meeting you and having your delightful company. I hope to see you again soon. Oh, and please tell Edie and Dean I said hello.”

  “Likewise, and I sure will,” Caleigh said with a smile.

  Blaze put a bottle of water in Chantal’s scooter basket along with a bottle of acetaminophen. “The doctor said you could take a couple of those pills if you have a headache.”

  Caleigh noticed Chantal looked genuinely touched by Blaze’s concern and heard the slight tremor in her voice when she said, “Thank you again, Blaze, for your kindness. Goodnight.”

  Blaze and Caleigh watched Chantal slowly make her way out of the kitchen, then Caleigh began collecting the dirty plates. “I’ll do this later.” Blaze took the dishes from Caleigh and set them in the sink. “Would you like a glass of wine?”

  “That sounds great.” Caleigh heard a door close and whispered, “I feel bad that I didn’t ask her how she felt. Y’all never mentioned the fall, so I wasn’t sure if I should bring it up.”

  “She’s fine. She’s really fine.” Blaze took a bottle of wine from the rack and grabbed the corkscrew hanging on the side of it. “A doctor told me and Ronnie the only fractures Chantal has are in her ankle. When she got here, she claimed she had hairline fractures in her arm and a rib. She’s even been wearing a brace on her arm. She lied.”

  Caleigh’s eyes flew open wide. “What did she say when y’all found out the truth?”

  “She wasn’t in the room when we learned that tidbit,” Blaze said wryly as she pulled the cork from the wine bottle.

  “Could the breaks have been missed since they’re supposed to be hairline?”

  “The doctor told us the orthopedist scrutinized the X-rays because of her age and how she’d hurt herself. He didn’t see anything.” Blaze filled their glasses and handed Caleigh one. “Ronnie doesn’t want me to confront her because she has it in her head that Chantal came here to die.”

  Caleigh was about to take a drink and pulled the glass away from her mouth. “Shit.”

  “Yeah, that’s what I thought when she dropped that theory on me. The woman flew off her scooter, slammed her face into the floor, and her only injury is a knot on her head. I have my own theory. Chantal is an alien robot with a skeleton that appears as bone to our primitive imaging devices. That’s why she had to leave us when we were kids. She can’t stay anywhere very long because she might inadvertently give away what she really is.”

  “That’s what you’re rolling with,” Caleigh said slowly, trying not to laugh.

  Blaze nodded. “Yep. Let’s give her a little while to go into sleep mode and see if that knot on her head disappears. If that happens, she’s definitely an alien robot because they can repair themselves. I learned that from an educational program called The Terminator. We can melt her down and make an indestructible bike out of her. From what I’ve seen in movies, futuristic metals don’t rust,” she said with a snort.

  “Oh, no, Blaze. You have to aim higher than that. I’m sure that kind of metal would be worth a fortune. You could sell her to the highest bidder, but you’d have to do it on the black market because the government would probably try to take it from you.”

  “I really appreciate that you’re willing to board the insanity train with me.” Blaze grinned and motioned for Caleigh to follow her. “Let me go check on the indestructible being, and we can sit on the couch. I’m not afraid she’s gonna hurt herself, I’m afraid if she falls she’ll take a wall out of my bathroom. I saw that in The Terminator too.”

  Caleigh laughed softly as Blaze crept down the hallway and took a look around the living room. She gazed at a framed photo on Blaze’s bookshelf of Blaze and a little girl who looked to be about five or six years old. They sat together on a porch swing smiling, and Caleigh was stunned by how much they looked alike. “Do you have a daughter?” she asked when Blaze walked back into the room.

  “Technically, no. You’re looking at my little Rosie. Ronnie somehow gave birth to my clone.” Blaze pointed to a photo of two blond boys. “That’s Ronnie’s sons, Leif and Trey. They look just like their dad, Clint.”

  “They’re adorable, especially Rosie,” Caleigh said with a smile. “Now I know what you looked like as a kid.”

  Blaze opened the cabinet in the bottom of the shelf. “Ronnie had this made for me one Christmas as a joke.” She handed Caleigh a large photo that she hadn’t framed.

  “Oh!” Caleigh laughed as she stared at the picture of Blaze standing on a football field amongst the high school band with the back of her uniform pants cut out. “What exactly were you showing your butt for?”

  “That was my pissed-off-at-the-world period. Chantal did a movie called Crash and Burn, and someone found a copy and showed it to the whole school. There was a sex scene in it, and Chantal was nude. Though the shots didn’t show everything her breasts were out for the world to see. It was humiliating for a number of reasons. All of the chatter about Chantal leaving had died, and was suddenly renewed. Chantal was very young in that movie, and everyone noticed how much we looked alike. I was asked constantly when I was gonna do my next porno. The worst though was when I saw that scene and realized my breasts looked just like hers. I felt so exposed.”

  “Oh my God. I’m so sorry,” Caleigh said as she handed the photo back to Blaze.

  “I was embarrassed and pissed off.” Blaze put the photo back into the cabinet and gestured toward the couch where they sat down. “I got into some screaming matches with people at school when they teased me about the movie. The principal told me I wasn’t allowed to show my butt like that at his school, and that gave me the idea. It was a blanket ‘screw everybody.’ I made a statement like you did with no eyebrows and a naked Chihuahua. It just wasn’t as funny as yours was. Did you make any more statements?”

  “When I was ten, I went off in a beachside store about the inhumane treatment of hermit crabs. I made a kid cry when I told him the crab his parents had just bought him was ripped from its mommy, daddy, and crab siblings just so it could live in his special box. My dad dragged me out of the store. I had to sit in the car with him while Mom and my sisters finished shopping.”

  “You are so damn cool for standing up for hermit crabs,” Blaze said with a laugh. “We would’ve turned this town inside out had we grown up together.”

  Caleigh smiled cockily. “There’s still time.”

  “You’re gonna get a bad rep if you hang out with me.”

  “So what? The bad
bunnies are always more fun to be with,” Caleigh said. “As I learn your backstory I’m finding out you’re not as bad as you’re made out to be.”

  “Well, you haven’t heard all of the stories yet.”

  Caleigh pulled a picture from beneath the couch cushions and looked at it. “Aw, is this you?”

  “Oh, shit,” Blaze whispered as she stared at the picture of herself posing in a coat she’d gotten for Christmas. “Ronnie went through Chantal’s purse earlier trying to find out what medicines she’s taking in hopes they would reveal if Chantal has a terminal illness or not. She found an envelope full of pictures of us instead, and this one must’ve fallen out when she was putting it back into the purse. Now, we have another mystery because we want to know who sent them to her.”

  Caleigh handed the picture to Blaze. “Who are the suspects?”

  Blaze tucked the photo into her shirt pocket. “A lot of the pictures are from family gatherings, so it had to have been someone in the family, which is shocking. Dad won’t allow anyone to talk about Chantal in front of him. He went to stay with a friend when he found out she was in town. Grandpa always said Chantal was selfish and it was a good thing she was out of our lives, so I know it wasn’t those two. I suspect it was Grandma. She was always kinder when she talked about Chantal. When she felt Ronnie and I were old enough, she told us Chantal had some problems she needed to work out and that was why she had to leave. She said it would be unhealthy for us if we hated Chantal because of that, and we needed to forgive her.”

  “That’s hard. I try not to hate my sister—well, hate is probably too strong of a word.” Caleigh’s brow furrowed. “Is it hate when you can’t look at someone’s face without wanting to…pop it?”

  Blaze covered her mouth to keep from spitting the sip of wine she’d taken. It took her a few seconds before she could swallow, then laughed. “I’d say you have some seriously hard feelings,” she said with a smile.

  “I,” Caleigh began and struggled to say, “I love Joanna, but she will say whatever crosses her mind and sometimes she’s offensive. Last Christmas she told my niece her nose was too big for her new hairstyle. There was no good reason for her to say that to a fifteen-year-old kid who is already self-conscious about her looks. She didn’t need to tell me I looked like an infant in heeled boots, either—don’t laugh.”