Teach Me Like That (LMLT Book 2)

by Marie James

  “Your mom called you Lexus,” he says hesitantly from out of the blue.

  “You caught that did you?” I feel a comforting hand wash over my back reassuring me that any judgment there is will be on my mother, not me. It’s exactly what I need to open up. “Lexus Raine Carter is my full name. It’s almost like my mother named me in retaliation for ruining her life.”

  “I think it’s a beautiful name,” he softly replies.

  I tilt my head to look into his eyes. “I may have been near orgasm a few minutes ago, but I do recall you insisting on no lies.”

  He chuckles lightly. “Well, I think Lexi fits you perfectly.” I rest my head back on his chest as his fingers dance across the sensitive skin on my lower back.

  “Want to shower?” I hate to get up and put distance between us, but I was sweaty before coming upstairs from working in the yard and after the last hour, I’m in desperate need of soap and water.

  “Sure,” he says sitting up after I lift my tired body from his chest.

  I turn on the shower and climb in as Kegan disposes of the condom. My face is under the spray of the shower when I feel him join me and wrap his arms around my waist. Stiffening when I feel his fingers trace over the scar on my lower belly, I pull my face back when my sharp gasp forces water down my throat. I compose myself quickly, but my reaction didn’t make him pull his arms from my body.

  I feel his chin rest on my shoulder. “Did you give the baby up for adoption?” he asks with sincere concern in his voice.

  I turn in his arms as I shake my head viciously to the left and right. “I’d never do that. Even when Hunter suggested it, I wouldn’t even let it be an option in my head.”

  Kegan sweeps damp hair from my cheek and kisses the tip of my nose. “What happened?”

  “The car accident.” I can’t explain anything in detail. His eyes darken with empathy as his hand finds mine, giving it a light squeeze.

  “You lost him.”

  “Her,” I correct. “I was almost eight months along.” I shake my head, unable to continue. It’s too painful, even three years later I can feel the burn from my broken hip and the lack of movement in my stomach.

  “I’m so sorry. Lex.” He cups my cheek in one of his big hands and rests his forehead against mine. “You’ve lost so much.”

  His warmth and concern lands in my heart in the form of adoration I haven’t allowed myself to feel in a very long time. I take a cleansing breath and pull my head back from his.

  “Hunter,” I say turning back into the spray. “Hunter treated me okay. He was my first serious boyfriend. My first well, everything. We stayed in my dorm room a lot. I didn’t realize then, but he wasn’t telling anyone we were together.” I squirt body wash on my loofah and turn back to Kegan. I almost sigh at the sight of the white bubbles sliding down his tan skin.

  “I fell hard for him.”

  “I’m sure he felt the same way,” he says holding his arm out so I can wash it.

  I shake my head. “No, he didn’t. I was temporary fun for him, disposable. When I told him about Ella, he blamed me. I reminded him we were both drunk the night I got pregnant. He knew I wasn’t on birth control and thought sex was still a good idea.” I frown and look down at the pink bath sponge in my hands. “Don’t get me wrong, I knew it was a bad idea, but I loved him so much I would’ve eloped and married him in a heartbeat. I knew pregnancy was a possibility, but at twenty-one, I wasn’t thinking of it being a life-altering situation.” I shrug. “Babies are cute. Who wouldn’t want a baby with the man they love?”

  Kegan takes the sponge from my hand and runs it over my shoulders and down my own arms.

  “He wanted me to have an abortion, and when I refused, he pushed for giving her up for adoption. He told me from the beginning he didn’t want anything to do with her. I accepted that and moved back in with my grandparents my last semester of school. Being on campus and seeing him move on so quickly with other women was more than I could handle.”

  “He’s an idiot,” Kegan says quietly.

  “Funny thing is, he had two other girls pregnant by the time graduation rolled around. He stayed with the last one. Only five months after getting me pregnant, he was professing his love for another girl and telling anyone who would listen how happy he was about starting a family with her.” I clear my throat to keep the tightness down. “For the longest time, I didn’t feel like I was enough for him. He’d hidden me away while we were dating. I found out later on it was because he was dating tons of other girls.” I look up into his eyes. “That’s why I told you I couldn't be your secret.”

  Kegan looks down at me before kissing the very tip of my nose. “I’ll scream it from the rooftop if you want me to, Lexi. I’m not ashamed of you.”

  I shake my head back and forth. “You can’t do that. I don’t even know how I managed to keep my job after Amelia busted us in the supply closet.”

  “Don’t worry about Amelia. I took care of her ass.”

  I glare at him and his choice of words.

  He throws his head back and laughs long and loud until his eyes meet mine, and he realizes I don’t find a damn thing funny about what he just said.

  “Sorry, sweetheart.” He kisses my nose again. “Don’t worry. If you don’t want to tell anyone about us, that’s fine.” He leans in close until his lips are brushing my ear. “I’d love to be your dirty little secret.”

  He’s seriously missing the whole point.

  Chapter 29

  Kegan

  “Who are you and what have you done with my little brother?”

  I roll my eyes at Kadin. He’s been saying shit like that for the last hour. I look up into expectant eyes, and suddenly I want to force him to drop his pants just so I can verify he didn’t grow a damn pussy since the last time I saw him.

  “I’m just in a seriously good mood,” I explain.

  “I can see that. Where’s cranky, pissed off Kegan? That’s who left my house last week. You called me every name in the book when you had to reach into your pocket to pay for Anastyn’s horse.”

  “I’m still pissed about that,” I complain.

  “Keep your mouth shut when you’re drunk,” he says tossing a fancy throw pillow at my head. “Or better yet, stop getting drunk.”

  I hold the pillow to my chest and set my beer down on a coaster on the table. “I was an asshole, Kadin. Sorry about that.”

  “I get it,” he says. “You know all too well that I’ve been there, too.”

  “Getting stupid drunk because you’re too afraid of your feelings to deal with shit?” I expand.

  He laughs. “No, London had the opposite effect on me. One night with her and I sobered up really quick.”

  I nod and look into the fire across the room. Kadin has had it pretty bad, but I don’t think he’d change the heartache he had all those years ago if it still meant he got to end up right where he’s at now.

  “So, where does this leave you and Ms. Carter?”

  “I stayed the entire weekend with her. Been back to her place twice this week. I’ve had more sex in the last seven days than I’ve had in months.” I grin in his direction.

  “Damn it, Kegan. That’s not what I meant, and you damn well know it.” He frowns in my direction, and a sense of shame settles in my stomach. “Would you talk to the crew about her the way you just did me?”

  “Fuck no,” I say slightly offended.

  “Then don’t talk to anyone about her that way. She fucking deserves better,” he lectures.

  I pick up my beer and drain it. “Old habits die hard,” I mutter setting the empty bottle back down.

  “I didn’t want to hear about your adventures before Lexi, and now that you have a woman you’re falling in love with, I sure as shit don’t need to hear it. That kind of stuff is private, man.”

  “I get it,” I tell him. “Hold up… falling in love? That’s not—”

  He quirks an eyebrow at me, daring me to deny it. For the first time in my l
ife, I shut my damn mouth without something idiotic coming out of it.

  “You want her talking to her friends about how much of a stud and shit you are?”

  I wiggle my eyebrows at him as a smile spreads across my face.

  “Dumbass,” he says with another pillow thrown at my head. I catch it with ease.

  The mention of her friends reminds me of a conversation we had yesterday morning before I left to go back home and get ready for work.

  “Did I ever tell you about Justin Bland?”

  His eyes snap up to mine. His face remains impassive, but there’s no hiding the small glint of jealousy in his eyes. Justin Bland made a move on London when she left Kadin after finding out she was pregnant. London worked for him at his law firm. Justin was in the process of pleading his case to her when Kadin finally tracked her down.

  She was extremely pregnant with Kadin’s baby, and Bland was trying to encroach on something that belonged to another man. I would’ve killed him, but I tend to lean more toward the violent side than Kadin ever has. He’s always been one to internalize things and suffer in silence.

  “I’m listening,” he says flatly.

  “Believe it or not, Justin Bland is Lexi’s first cousin. Their mothers are sisters.”

  “No shit?” The tension in his shoulders relaxes a bit. I know his mind just went where mine did when I saw them standing, wrapped in a hug, on her front porch.

  “Lexi and the people from Bland’s office get together monthly for some dinner or shit. She asked me if I wanted to go with them.”

  “What did you tell her?”

  I look at his face trying to decide which way he feels like I should answer.

  “I told her I didn’t think it was a very good idea.”

  “Why would you do that, Kegan? If the woman wants you to meet her friends, you should meet her friends.” He makes me feel like shit, just like she did yesterday morning. She didn’t call me out on it, but the disappointment in her eyes was like a flag waving in the desert.

  “You already force me to sit in on meetings with that jackass, now you’re telling me to spend some of my free time with him?”

  “You hit on London within minutes of meeting her?” he reminds me.

  I look at him with confusion. “What’s your point?” Remembering how I acted around London the first time I found her in his condo years ago makes my stomach turn. I couldn’t imagine her in any other way than the sister she is now, and I hate that I was attracted to her in the beginning; it feels creepy and borderline incestuous.

  “She’s gorgeous; I can’t really blame Bland for wanting her either. He never even attempted to cross that line again after London and I got back together. You don’t need to hate him on my account.” He gives me a knowing look. “I think he and I would actually be friends if he hadn’t, at one point in time, had his lips on my wife.”

  “Good point,” I mumble, grateful that he’s Lexi’s cousin because I’d lose my shit if they weren’t related and hanging out with each other.

  “So you should go,” Kadin prods.

  “It doesn’t feel right, man. It’s almost like it’s a violation of the code. He tried to take your girl; I’m your brother, and I’m obligated not to associate with him.”

  Kadin stands from the chair. “You, my little brother, are an idiot. You’d be hanging out with her family, not some guy trying to poach your girl. If this is going the direction I can see that it is, you need to care about the things she cares about.”

  “You have it so easy. London didn’t come with family.”

  “Easy?” he asks giving me a hard look. “You don’t know all of London’s story, and it’s not mine to tell, but I would rather her come with baggage than no family at all. Not having someone to rely on, no one to love is hard as fuck, Kegan. That shit can mess you up pretty bad. So quit complaining about having to endure a damn meal with Lexi’s cousin.”

  He walks out of the room, leaving me sitting on the couch with my damn jaw hanging open. Just when I think I can’t stack on any more disappointment in myself, he throws that little tidbit on top.

  We didn’t exactly make plans, but with the way last weekend went, I can’t help but hope this weekend will be the same. My normal Friday night would include gathering up a few of the guys and hitting a bar or club. That’s been gradually changing since I can’t seem to get a sense of satisfaction with anyone but Lexi.

  After leaving Kadin’s house, feeling like a completely selfish asshole, I make a quick stop to grab a couple of bottles of Lexi’s favorite wine and some beer for myself. We didn’t leave the house once last weekend, and I know for a fact that we drained her stockpile.

  I know she’s not here the second I pull up and notice her car isn’t in the driveway. It still doesn’t keep me from hopping out of my truck and knocking on her door. Expected silence greets me even after pressing the doorbell numerous times.

  Guilt washes over me at the realization that I should’ve at least texted her yesterday and today. I haven’t spoken to her since she closed herself off at my refusal to her invitation at the dinner party. Kadin was right; I’m an idiot. I get the feeling that I’m going to end up ruining everything with Lexi before we can even get a decent start.

  Taking a seat on the front steps, I pull out my cell phone and shoot off a quick text. After ten minutes with no response, I debate whether or not looking for an open window is a good idea. I decide against it after realizing just how psycho that seems.

  I call her directly as I walk back to my truck, but the call goes straight to voicemail. I didn’t even consider how important a stupid fucking dinner with her friends may have been to her, and now I can’t reach her. I can’t help but wonder if the two things are related.

  Now I know what the girls feel like when they mess up and are forced into a timeout.

  Chapter 30

  Lexi

  “You need to loosen up!” Jillian practically screams at me over the blaring music.

  “I’m loose!” I debate.

  “You are not!! That guy over there has been eye-fucking you all night, and you won’t even give him a second look!” She points across the bar at the weird guy wearing a cowboy hat.

  I don’t correct her, but I have glanced his way several times, if only because I can feel his eyes boring into my damn back. I didn’t give him a second look because I wanted to catch his already focused attention, I looked to make sure he’s not sneaking up on me. Who in the hell wears a cowboy hat in a hip-hop bar?

  “I’m not interested,” I tell her before taking another one of the shots lined up in front of us.

  “Oh come on,” she groans elbowing me roughly in the side. I glare at her as I steady myself back on my stool. “You’re no fun. He looks like he’d be fun!”

  “Are you blind? He looks like a psycho. No matter how shitty as my week ended, I don’t want to end my weekend cut up in a trash bag.”

  She looks past my shoulder and narrows her eyes at the man a mere twenty feet away. “You may be right,” she agrees around the cherry stem hanging out of her mouth. “But I don’t see any blood on his hands.”

  She’s in serious contemplation over the possibility that the cowboy is an ax murder for much longer than necessary. I wish I could say it’s because she’s drunk, but it’s not. She’s thinking this over longer than she takes to decide if she’s going to climb in bed with a man.

  “So,” I say breaking the criminal profiling she has going on. “Where’s Hawke tonight?”

  She scowls at me and tosses back another shot. “How the hell should I know? I quit my job this week.”

  To most people, this would be cause for concern. For Jillian? Just par for the course.

  I throw back another shot and flag a waitress down for more. “How long did it last this time?”

  She spins the lime wedge she just spat out on the table top. It’s totally disgusting, but due to my buzz I’m actually mesmerized by her actions.

  She shrugs, refus
ing to answer my question.

  “When did you quit?”

  “Tuesday. Right after lunch. He had some girl in his office. I couldn’t do my damn job with all the giggling that was going on in there. So I snatched up my purse and left.” She grins up at me. “I emailed him my resignation.”

  “Did you remember to change the date this time?”

  She tosses the lime wedge at me, and I somehow avoid getting hit with it. “Yes.” She looks up and to the left, and I can tell she’s trying to recall if she did or not. “At least, I think I did.”

  “And when did you go back to the office?”

  She turns her attention away from me and starts dancing on her stool. I grab her shoulder and spin her back around to face me. “When did you go back to work?”

  “Wednesday morning.” My brows knit together when I frown. “Don’t look at me like that. He had a major meeting about an environmental dispute on some property. I wasn’t going to let him do that on his own.”

  I shake my head. “Both of you are so fucking dependent on each other. Have you talked to him?”

  “About what?”

  I raise an eyebrow at her. We’ve been having this same damn conversation for years, and she knows exactly what I’m talking about.

  “No, and I’m not going to. So just leave it alone. Let’s talk about something else,” she says with a slight quirk to her lip. “Tell me more about Mr. Rich Construction Man.”

  “There’s not much to tell.”

  “Bullshit! You ignored every one of my calls and texts this past weekend.” I mimic her actions when she picks up the salt shaker and licks her hand.

  After a handful of shots, the tequila no longer burns on the way down. The hum of satisfaction rumbles in my chest. “I was busy.”

  “You were getting busy,” she corrects. “Now spill.”

  The shake of my head causes dizziness. “Not gonna happen.”