Finding Hope (Mail Order Bride: Brides And Promises Book 1)

by Ruby Hill

  “I don’t think Aunt Mary would let me sit down if I wasn’t in my shirt,” Thomas grinned, his embarrassment fading. “I’d be happy to help you, although I’m not sure I’ll be all that good at cooking.”

  She laughed, and as he stepped out of her path, she left her bedroom and shut the door tightly behind her. “Thankfully for you, there’s not much left to do. I already made the chicken and bacon pie, so it just needs to be warmed through, and I was fixing to put on some vegetables to go with it.”

  “Now that I can do,” he chuckled, peeling off his shirt and holding it out for her to take. “Carrots and the like?”

  Grace caught her breath and looked away, suddenly overcome by the sight of Thomas standing in his short-sleeved vest. “Just put on anything you want,” she mumbled, turning her back and going to find her sewing box. “A couple of different vegetables will be just fine.”

  Managing to find a suitable thread, Grace settled herself into a seat and began to pin the shirt back together, trying to force her eyes on the shirt and nothing else. Blood was roaring in her ears as Thomas walked back and forth, whistling as he went, clearly oblivious to the effect he had on her.

  Grace had seen plenty of men in even less than what Thomas was wearing – the saloon in her hometown often kicked out drunk men in various states of disarray – but she had never had this kind of reaction before. Her heart was beating so wildly, she was sure he could hear it, and on top of that, she was certain her cheeks were burning red.

  She could not allow herself to have any kind of feelings for Thomas, not when he was Mary’s nephew! In the long term, it would bring her only pain. Hadn’t she learned anything? George Stubbs had turned away from her and refused to marry her. To have any kind of feelings for Thomas would only bring her heartache and misery.

  “I want to thank you for being such a help to my aunt and to me,” Thomas said, coming over to her. “You’ve made such a difference in both of our lives.”

  “You’re welcome,” Grace mumbled, suddenly very aware of just how close he was to her. Unfortunately, she managed to stab herself in the finger with the needle. Wincing, she let out a hiss of pain and frustration, looking down at her finger and seeing it already beginning to bleed.

  “Here,” Thomas said, bending down and pressing a damp cloth over her finger. “Does that happen often?”

  Grace shook her head, finding that she could hardly breathe with his nearness. His eyes were such a brilliant blue that she found she could not look anywhere but there, captured by them entirely.

  “Are you a little distracted, then?” he asked, his voice growing husky. “Grace, I—” He dropped his head, evidently confused by what he had been about to say. “You are something special, Grace.”

  She swallowed the lump in her throat, aware of his hands capturing hers. “You’re very kind, Thomas.”

  “I mean every word,” he replied fervently, his hands tightening a little on hers as he continued to hold the cloth against her finger. “You seem to work from dawn ‘til dusk, thinking about Aunt Mary’s needs, as well as my own, and never thinking about yourself. You’re one of the hardest working people I know. You’re selfless and kind, and you’ve brought a happiness to my aunt that’s been missing for a long time. I can’t tell you just how much I appreciate that.”

  Grace smiled back at him, although her eyes pricked with tears. “I’ve found a home here, too,” she managed to say, her voice cracking with emotion. “I don’t think either of you know just how precious a gift you’ve given me.”

  She managed to meet his gaze again, a trembling taking hold of her soul as she looked back at him. He smiled slightly, his eyes fixing on hers and taking hold of her heart. She was terrified and overjoyed and anxious all at once.

  Leaning forward, Thomas lightly pressed his lips against her cheek, and Grace instinctively closed her eyes, unable to breathe. She wanted to savor the moment, to fix it in her memory. He seemed to linger for just a fraction too long, and as she opened her eyes, she found he was much closer to her than before.

  “Grace,” he whispered, his mouth only inches from hers. “I—”

  The sound of something bubbling over had him springing away from her, shattering the moment in an instant. He grabbed the pan and pulled it away, wafting the steam away from it in an attempt to bring the boiling vegetables under control. Grace couldn’t help but laugh, even though she regretted the moment ending with such suddenness. Something shifted in her heart, a light in the middle of her worries over her affection for Thomas. She had convinced herself that he would never come to care for her, but if that was truly the case, what was he doing lingering so near?

  “Goodness, Thomas! Are you planning to burn this house to the ground?”

  Mary stepped inside, the egg basket in her hand, winking heavily at Grace.

  “I see you’re finally letting her have a bit of a break!” she exclaimed, sitting down heavily in a chair. “It’s about time, too.”

  Grace chuckled, as Thomas explained what had happened to his shirt, glancing back at Grace and going a little red.

  “Well, I didn’t exactly think that the delicious smell was all your doing, Thomas,” Mary quipped, as Grace finished off her sewing. “Although I am glad that she was able to help you look a little more presentable.”

  Grace got to her feet and handed Thomas his shirt, aware of the spark that shot through her fingers as they touched his. Moving quickly so that Mary wouldn’t notice, she put away her sewing things and then moved back to the stove, ready to serve dinner.

  Thomas chuckled. “I think that’s my cue to quit helping,” he grinned, stepping away from the food. “How bouts I lay the table?”

  “Sounds good to me,” Mary replied with a smile. “And whatever you’ve made smells wonderful, Grace—as usual.”

  “Thank you,” Grace replied, setting out the pie on the table and going back for the vegetables. She paused for a moment before setting down the plates, looking at Mary and Thomas laughing and talking together. She felt a part of this place already, even though it had only been a few weeks since she’d first arrived. This was her family now, her home. Grace couldn’t imagine leaving, hoping that she’d be able to see Thomas’ cattle with their calves in the spring and even help with the harvest. She wanted to be here when Thomas made a success of the farm, and she wanted to celebrate with him and Mary.

  “Grace?”

  Grace, drawn from her thoughts, looked to see Mary smiling at her, an inquiring look on her face.

  “Is everything all right?”

  A gentle smile spread across Grace’s face. “Yes, everything is all right. Everything is more than all right. Thank you, Mary.”

  Setting down her plate of vegetables, she took her seat and smiled at Mary, aware of the curling heat in her belly when she looked at Thomas. Grace couldn’t remember ever feeling so happy.

  9

  Crack!

  Pulling the horses to a stop, Thomas hurried to look at the plow, his heart in his mouth. Groaning, he saw the large split in the wood, his heart sinking into his boots. This was a disaster.

  “Thomas?”

  Grace and Mary hurried over, their faces red from exertion. “What’s happened?”

  “The plow,” Thomas groaned, stepping away from it. “It’s broken.”

  There was a short silence as the two women stared at him, clearly considering the magnitude of what had happened.

  “Can it be fixed?”

  “It’s already been fixed plenty times before,” Thomas muttered, shaking it gently and seeing the wood splinter further. “I’d say it’s about done.”

  “Done?” Grace echoed, her eyes widening. “Does that mean that you can’t fix it?”

  Thomas bit back the harsh retort that sprang to his lips, aware that he was letting his frustration get to him. “No, I can’t.” He hung his head, his mind swimming with dark thoughts.

  “But the fields,” Mary panted, wiping her forehead with the back of her han
d. “What are you going to do about the fields? You have to get them cleared before the frost sets in so that it’s ready for planting in the spring.”

  Thomas swallowed and closed his eyes. “I don’t know,” he mumbled, aware of just how little money he had left. “I’m going to have to think on it.”

  Mary put her hand on his arm. “I want to help you, Thomas. Let me know if there’s anything I can do.” She stepped away, saying something about going to make some coffee, calling them both to come inside.

  “Oh, Thomas,” Grace whispered, her eyes filled with compassion. “Are you going to have to buy another plow?”

  Looking at her, Thomas fought the urge to break down and spill out all of his emotions right there in the field. “I don’t have the money I need to buy a new one,” he said, as calmly as he could. “I put most of my funds into buying this place, and I still owe Aunt Mary some. Although, she won’t listen to me about that.” His mouth lifted slightly into a sad smile. “I had to build a cabin of my own, then buy horses and cattle, the sheep in the low field, and then things like this.” Slamming his hand down on the plow, he winced as it groaned and split a little further. “Seems like this wasn’t a good investment though,” he murmured, shaking his head. “I thought I wouldn’t need to buy the priciest one out there, but it looks like it has come to bite me in the behind.”

  “It’s that old saying of ‘buy cheap, buy twice’,” Grace murmured, aware of the pain in his eyes. “But sometimes that’s all you can do.”

  Thomas sighed and leaned heavily against the plow, before slowly sitting down on the cold ground, his head in his hands. What was he going to do now?

  “We’ll find a way,” Grace whispered, coming to sit by him. “You’re not in this alone.”

  A harsh laugh erupted from his lips before he could stop it. “Grace, you barely know me. You’re not family.”

  She reared back, her lips trembling.

  “That’s not what I meant,” he said at once, fumbling to explain himself. “I didn’t mean it that way, I swear it.”

  Saying nothing, she continued to look at him, hunkering down beside him. Her eyes were wary, tears only just held at bay. Pain tore at him, regretting his quick words, aware that they’d done more damage than he had intended. “I spoke too hastily,” he swore, reaching for her hand and holding it tightly. “I’m upset and didn’t mean that.”

  “But you’re right,” she replied softly. “I ain’t family. I never will be.”

  “No,” he promised, tugging her a little closer so that she was forced to look into his eyes. “You are family. Not everyone has to be bound by blood. You’ve brought happiness back to my aunt, made her home your own, just as you should. You work harder than anyone I’ve ever known, coming out here to work in the fields and then going back inside to make sure dinner is on the table. I can’t tell you just how much I admire you, Grace. I’m sorry for what I said.” Reaching up, he touched her cheek and saw her jump. “Can you forgive me?”

  She pulled away from him, rising to her feet. “Don’t worry about it,” she said, a little tersely. “Now, do you want that coffee? Maybe if we all put our heads together, we can come up with a solution.”

  Frowning, Thomas pulled himself up and reached for her hand, catching it tightly between his own. “Where are you going, Grace?”

  Looking back at him, her gaze traveled down to their joined hands. “Back inside,” she said, her voice a little faint. “Mary’s making coffee, remember?”

  “That’s not what I meant,” Thomas replied softly, moving closer to her and seeing the guardedness in her expression. “You’re running away from me, Grace.” He couldn’t explain the quickening of his heart as he came closer to her, couldn’t explain the mounting desire to pull her into his arms. “Is it because you feel it too?”

  She swallowed hard. “I-I don’t know what you mean.”

  He chuckled, shaking his head at her. “I think you do, Grace, and it terrifies you to admit it. That’s okay. It scares me, too. I ain’t never felt anything like this before.”

  Her eyes looked back at him, widening just a little. “I don’t understand,” she whispered, swallowing the lump in her throat. “George Stubbs didn’t want me.”

  “George Stubbs?” Thomas repeated, wondering what on earth that man had to do with anything. “Why mention him?”

  Grace flushed, her cheeks burning. “He didn’t want me, Thomas.”

  “Foolish man.”

  She gave a quiet laugh, her face turned away from him. “The reason he didn’t want me was because of how I looked.” Her eyes rose to his, filled with confusion. “Why would you?”

  Thomas felt his heart tear for her, seeing the bewilderment in her expression, the pain in her face. Did she really think so little of herself?

  “Grace, you are beautiful,” he breathed, lifting one hand to brush it down her smooth cheek. “George Stubbs didn’t know what he was missing.”

  Her lips parted in surprise. “You think I’m beautiful?”

  “The most beautiful woman I’ve ever laid eyes on,” he swore, dropping her hand and capturing her face with both of his own. “When I saw you last week with your hair around your shoulders, I could hardly think straight.” He saw her stare at him, as though unable to take in what he was saying. “Didn’t you notice that I could hardly get my words out straight?”

  “I just thought you were tired,” she breathed, closing her eyes for a long moment. “I never thought anyone would ever see me in this way. I don’t even see myself in a favorable light, Thomas.”

  His heart swelled with sympathy for her. “Your eyes let me see into your soul, and all I see is goodness there. Your kindness and compassion, your dedication and commitment, all add to your beauty.” Her eyes filled with sudden tears, and he brushed them away with his thumb. “Grace, my heart leaps in my chest whenever I see you. My day is made a little brighter just by you being in it. Don’t think about what George Stubbs had to say to you any longer. Just think about me and how I see you. Let yourself believe that you are worthy of love, that you are wanted, that you are beautiful.”

  Grace swallowed hard, her hands gently pressing against his chest as she looked, still uncertain, into his eyes. “There’s more to that story though, Thomas. There’s more I should tell you.”

  He shook his head, not wanting to dwell on what George Stubbs had thought of her. “That doesn’t matter, Grace.”

  “No, I really think I should tell you,” she replied, a little urgently. “You see, I—”

  Unable to help himself, Thomas leaned down and kissed her, his hands still framing her face as he caught up her words with his mouth. She had never been kissed before, he could tell, but that made her all the more appealing. His entire being burst into life as she slowly wrapped her arms around his neck, her caution slowly lessening as he broke the kiss, only to press his lips to hers once more.

  “Thomas,” she whispered, as he finally let her go, his breath already quickening. “I-I don’t know what this is.”

  He chuckled, leaning back to look into her eyes. “You mean you haven’t felt this kind of thing before?”

  A slow smile curved her lips. “Well, no, I haven’t.”

  “And that’s okay,” he replied softly. “Neither have I. I think we just see where this goes. Although, I don’t think my feelings for you are going to be going anywhere.”

  “Courting then?” she asked, her cheeks burning as red as the flames that spread across the sky at sunset.

  “Courting sounds good to me,” he replied, happiness filling his heart. “Goodness me, Grace. I’m sure glad that George Stubbs turned you down otherwise I think I might be set to be lonesome for the rest of my life!”

  She laughed and shook her head. “I doubt it, Thomas. You’re going to need a wife if you’re going to be trying to get this farm going!” She froze suddenly, as though only just aware of what she’d said. “That is, I mean…” Dropping her head into her hands, she groaned, turning aw
ay from him. “Oh, never mind.”

  Thomas laughed aloud, not embarrassed in the least. What she had said was absolutely true and Thomas couldn’t help but think that the idea of Grace as his wife wasn’t a particularly bad one. “Courting, first,” he chuckled, putting an arm around her waist and pulling her close. “Then we’ll see. But don’t be embarrassed, Grace, I know that I need a wife. That’s what courting is for, to see whether we’re going to suit.” He smiled with warmth in his soul at the thought of them building a life together. “Although I don’t think it’s going to take all that long to prove to me that we’d get along just fine.”

  Her cheeks still bright red, she looked up at him and smiled. “I can hardly believe this,” she whispered, looking at him as though she was seeing him for the first time. “I never thought…. I never hoped that....” Looking away, she shook her head. “I guess God had a plan for me all along.”

  “I guess He did,” Thomas agreed, dropping a kiss on the top of her head. “Now, I suppose we’d better get back on in. Mary will be waiting for us, and I don’t want her to start worrying about where we are.” He threw a frustrated glance back at his plow, seeing the split and groaning inwardly. “The horses may as well come on back into the barn. I’m not going to need them again today.” Unhitching them, he smiled as Grace led one away whilst he took the other. Grace was right, he would need a partner if he was going to keep this farm going. Aunt Mary was a wonderful help, but a wife was just the person he would need for now and for the future. Smiling to himself, Thomas took in the picture of Grace leading the horse, talking quietly to it as she did so. Perhaps she had been sent here to be just the wife he needed.

  10

  Grace chewed on her bottom lip, listening to Thomas pour out his troubles to both her and Aunt Mary. The plow had been sitting in the field for the past three days, and since it had been decided that it couldn’t be fixed, Thomas had been given no other choice but to chop it up and use it for firewood.