Finding Hope (Mail Order Bride: Brides And Promises Book 1)

by Ruby Hill

  She chewed on her lip. She could understand that.

  “A lot of people do not appreciate my frank attitude toward dishonesty, but I have a gift for finding it out. I have helped people find stolen goods, and have even warned a dear friend when his spouse was having an affair. I would want to know if someone wronged me. I give that same respect to other people. People who have tried to cover their tracks to their addictions have been shaped up and changed because I was not afraid to confront them with the truth.”

  He swallowed hard, his eyes tightening.

  “I may not always do it in as loving a way, and it is something that I have been trying to work on. But I just am so frustrated when people are so dishonest. They don’t see the destruction it causes in the lives of those around them.”

  He looked back over at her.

  She felt her cheeks flush once more.

  “One of my many faults is that I confront others, even at the expense of other people’s view of me. I know that many in the town are nervous around me, and think that I am too brash. But in order to make society a functioning place, then there needs to be a standard. As soon as that is sacrificed, then everything will deteriorate after it.”

  Hearing him explain it made Elizabeth wonder if she had indeed been too rash about her decision in the first place, making her far too quick to judge.

  “But what about Matthew?” Elizabeth said. “You threw that dish at him!”

  Benjamin bowed his head, and nodded.

  “I did, and it was wrong. I do apologize if I frightened you. You see, my family knows that Matthew has always been a difficult person. He always manages to end up in the wrong place at the wrong time. He showed up at the house last night drunk, and he wanted to speak to my sister, Annabelle. She is only seventeen, but he fell in love with her. We tried to persuade her to deny his affections, because we know he is not a good match for her, but he is persistent. Eventually, she agreed to marry him. Then, I saw him with another woman. He wants to win her back, but I will do everything in my power to keep him away from her. My father insists that Annabelle and Matthew should work out their own problems, but I can’t let a man hurt my sister in that way.”

  “I had no idea…” Elizabeth said.

  Benjamin sighed, shaking his head. “He’s insufferable, and I had just had enough of him and his inability to see how his actions affect my family, his own family, and this town. And I will do anything to protect those I care about. He cares nothing for his reputation, but he still expects to be associated with my family. I believe that he only wants to marry my sister in hopes of gaining some of our fortune, or to raise his social standing by marrying into our family.”

  Elizabeth frowned. “That’s a rather sad story.”

  “It is,” he said. He looked up at her. “When he arrived and I confronted him, he immediately started causing a scene, and he knew that it would make me react the way that I had. And being drunk, nothing I could say would get through his thick skull. He probably doesn’t even remember the conversation…”

  Elizabeth shook her head. “This is a great deal to take in.”

  “Matthew did not like being caught, and it is the same for everyone. No one appreciates it when their devious deeds are discovered.”

  “No, I suppose not…” Elizabeth said.

  She looked up at him and searched his face. He appeared to be pleading with her, his eyes sad and honest. This was the sort of man that she had hoped she would come all the way to Colorado to meet.

  “You must admit…” she said. “You do have an atrocious temper.”

  “I do,” he admitted freely. “I do indeed. But it is something that I have been trying very hard to change, and it is something that I want to change. If you ask anyone in my family, I do not lash out often. It seems that you have seen me at my worst, and for that, I am truly embarrassed. But, please know that I do have a gentle side, and I am able to keep my emotions under control. I will never yell at you, and I will never raise a hand to you, or our children.”

  “Our children?” Elizabeth asked, imagining what their children would look like.

  “Well, that is if you decide to stay. My feelings have not changed, Elizabeth. I know that you are exactly what I want in a wife, and during the short time you have been here, I have developed very strong feelings for you. In fact, I do believe I am in love with you.”

  Elizabeth opened her mouth to speak, but quickly closed her lips and allowed Benjamin to continue.

  “Don’t you remember my advertisement? I wanted someone who was honest and patient. I wanted someone who could be honest with me, be patient with me. I knew that I would need a gentle-spirited woman to help me to change. I will likely never change my desire to make people better by confronting them in their selfish natures, but I do want to be gentler about it. I want to be better.”

  He laughed softly, and smiled.

  “And Elizabeth…even in the brief time that I have known you, you have helped me to see that if I am to be a man worthy of a wife, that I need someone like you who has already helped to change my heart. You have been a great comfort to me, someone that can tell me when I have overstepped my bounds. This whole affair with Matthew has helped me to realize that my own actions affect those around me. And I hope that you will reconsider your decision.”

  That was a sizable request.

  “I can understand wanting to help others be better, and I find it very admirable that you are aware that you have to work on something inside yourself.”

  “I don’t want to make you afraid of me,” Benjamin said. “It was never my intention. I wished that you could have seen a better side of me in the last few days.”

  Elizabeth shrugged her shoulders. “Maybe seeing that was helpful, actually. Allowing us to work through issues that would surely have arisen after we were married… I have seen another side of you as well. Katherine and William speak of your kindness often, and I see the way your family adores you. I know that you have a very warm nature, even if it is sometimes overpowered by your temper. I just want to see your gentler side more often.”

  Benjamin’s eyes lit up. “Does that mean…”

  “Mr. Hopper, I took a great chance coming all the way out here to meet a man that was a complete stranger to me. I didn’t know you or anyone here, and yet you showed me great kindness and helped me to adjust. I was indeed concerned after seeing your temper flare the way that it had. And if I am going to stay,” she saw him smile broadly, “…then I must ask you to think about your actions before you react. I can respect wanting to keep everyone else honest. I think that is a wonderful depth to your character that I most likely would not have seen otherwise. But. If we are to have a happy home together, then I need you to be gentle, kind, and tender with me. Otherwise this is not going to work.”

  “I agree,” Benjamin said. “And it is something I was thinking of the whole way over here. My life will no longer be about me. It will be all about you. And Elizabeth, I will do whatever I can to be worthy of our marriage. I know that it is something that I will be striving toward for a long, long time, but I do want for you to understand that I am going to do everything I can to ensure your happiness.”

  “Well…” Elizabeth said. “I suppose we have both learned something, haven’t we? And if that is not a valuable outcome in a marriage, then I do not know what is. Striving to make each other better.”

  “So, you will stay, then?” Benjamin asked.

  “I will stay,” Elizabeth said. “On one condition.”

  “Name it.”

  “You forgive me for misjudging you so quickly.”

  “Only if you forgive me for acting like an absolute fool.”

  And so they agreed, knowing full well that their marriage would be filled with forgiveness and understanding.

  * * *

  THE END

  Part III

  A Christmas Journey Home

  1

  Boston, Massachusetts, 1852

  Laura close
d the door behind her. Although the house was filled with all of her childhood memories, it was now void of any life. After the death of her father, she was left an orphan. Her mother died in childbirth, so she had lived her short twenty years with her father as her only family. Now he was gone. His cough had turned into a fever from which he never recovered. Grief overcame her as she nearly lost her balance, but there wasn't anybody around to catch her. She was alone. She refused to let the tears fall, but her throat was raw from holding back the water that filled her eyes. Her faith in God was the only thing that gave her the courage to get out of bed since her father died.

  She took hold of her suitcases and walked down the stairs to the waiting carriage. On her way to the train station, she tried to take in all the sights and sounds of Boston as a final farewell. A fresh coat of snow covered the rooftops and glistened on the trees. It was unusual to have snow so early in November. She felt a chill run through her body. She might have been cold, but she suspected the chill stemmed from the realization that this was going to be her first Christmas without her father. She couldn't hold back the tears this time.

  The train ride was long, and she passed the time by sleeping and reading books, mostly Shakespeare. Laura's father had made sure she received an education at the best school, which is where she developed her passion for reading. His income from being a lawyer allowed Laura to live a comfortable lifestyle in a city bustling with activity. Life on a ranch would be a completely different, and it wasn't a change she was happy about.

  Every time she thought about her destination, butterflies filled her stomach. Moving to Colorado to live with an aunt, uncle and cousins that she had never met was not the ideal situation. However, she was twenty years old and single; she couldn't stay in Boston to fend for herself. She wouldn't receive her inheritance until she reached the age of 25, so she was left with no choice.

  Over the years, she had written to her mother's sister, Aunt June. Mostly it was Aunt June who kept the communication going, but Laura always responded to her letters because it seemed like a distant connection to her mother. When Laura wrote to her aunt about her father's death, Aunt June responded with an invite to move to Colorado immediately and even paid for her train fare. Aunt June's family was her only family left. Her father was an only child, and her mother only had one sibling, which was Aunt June. Although Laura didn't want to move, she had nowhere else to go. Her aunt's invitation was an unexpected answer to her prayers.

  2

  The train stopped, and Laura woke up, still drowsy. A quick look in the mirror revealed disheveled hair and a pallid complexion. She looked exactly like she felt. Using her hands to comb her chestnut-colored hair into place, she tried to create an illusion of her former self, the person who existed before her father's death. She pinched her cheeks for some extra color and picked up her suitcases.

  As she stepped off the platform, she recognized her aunt immediately. They both had the same blue eyes framed by dark lashes. She managed a smile as her family approached.

  Although she already knew her family members' names, Aunt June insisted on formal introductions. "This is your Uncle Robert and your cousins, Thomas and Annie. Thomas is 23, so just a few years older than you, and Annie just turned 13 last week." Each of her relatives greeted her with a tight hug, which was unexpected, but welcome. Her family's welcoming embraces resulted in a small bout of happiness, which was the first time Laura had felt any joy in weeks.

  Laura's forced smirk transformed into a genuine smile, as she managed to muster, "I can't thank you enough for taking me in—especially since you have never met me. I don't know how to express my gratitude for your kindness."

  Aunt June embraced Laura one more time and said, "Laura, you're our family. It doesn't matter that we've never met. We love you all the same." Aunt June pulled away and looked Laura up and down, "And you're just a spitting image of your mama, which makes my heart happy. Welcome home, darlin'. Welcome to Colorado."

  The horse and buggy ride to the ranch was bumpy and cold. Her cousins, Annie and Thomas, took the liberty of riding in the back while she was nestled between her aunt and uncle. Aunt June pointed out all the landmarks along the way and told her the names of the neighbors. She even filled Laura in on some of the town gossip, which made Laura giggle. The biggest scandal seemed to be that a particular rancher had skipped church four Sundays in a row. Laura couldn't fathom how people even noticed something so seemingly trivial, but that also made her realize just how small this town was. She decided it was best to keep to herself for a while.

  After eating a hot bowl of soup paired with freshly-made bread for dinner, Laura made her way up to her bedroom. The room was cozy, and the painting of a mountain scene above the fireplace was captivating. It was almost an exact replica of the view outside of her window. The handmade quilt hugged every part of her body as she climbed into bed and drifted off into a deep sleep.

  * * *

  Her peaceful slumber was brought to an abrupt end when a loud noise made her sit straight up in confusion. The sun must have just risen, and she couldn't imagine what all the commotion was about. She finally realized she was hearing the ringing of a bell. Slowly rising from bed, she splashed some water on her face and dressed before making her way downstairs.

  The smell of grease and sounds of a crackling stove alerted her senses that food was being prepared. Aunt June greeted Laura with a warm smile as her cousin Annie embraced her with a hug. Laura wasn't used to this level of affection, but she hadn't had much human contact since her father died. It felt nice that someone was actually paying attention to her.

  "Well, good morning, sleepy head," sang Aunt June. "We've been waiting hours for you to wake up. We wanted to let you get some extra rest this morning, so don't worry about helping out with chores until tomorrow. Just get yourself settled in."

  "You've been waiting hours? What could you have possibly been doing for hours? Annie likely doesn't have to be to school for quite some time," said Laura as she wiped the sleep from her eyes.

  "Oh honey, ranch life is much different that city life. It'll take some getting used to, but you'll learn the ropes. We all need to chip in to make this house a home," answered Aunt June as she finished making breakfast.

  The amount of food Laura consumed was enough to feed three people. She hadn't had an appetite in weeks, and every time her plate was nearly empty, Uncle Robert piled on another serving until she had to cover her plate with her hands in protest. Her new family laughed, joked around, and asked Laura a lot of questions. She appreciated that they kept the questions to inquiring about her interests and avoided the topic of her father. She wasn't ready to open up, and the family seemed to sense this.

  Thomas invited Laura on a trip to the general store to pick up feed, which Aunt June encouraged. Laura needed a few items from the store anyway and saw this as a chance to get to know her cousin. On the way to the store, they passed by a few ranches as Laura enjoyed the breathtaking scenery. Unlike Boston, this small Colorado town was surrounded by mountains capped with stark-white snow.

  The general store was busy, and Thomas left Laura by herself why he loaded up the feed. Laura collected toiletries and other items she needed. As she placed her hand on a bar of soap, she felt someone standing next to her, and the tight space made her uncomfortable. She abruptly grabbed the soap, stepped away, and gave her best perturbed look to the man standing next to her.

  "Sorry ma'am, it's a tight space in here. I didn't mean to offend you. I just needed some soap," said a dreadfully handsome man with doe-shaped brown eyes and tanned skin that hadn't yet faded even though summer was over. "You aren't from around these parts, are you?"

  Before Laura had time to answer, Thomas joined the conversation and gave the mystery man a friendly punch on the shoulder. "James, I see you've met my cousin, Laura Brooks. She just moved here from Boston. She's living with us now."

  "Well, we haven't exactly been introduced," said Laura.

  Her attitude ch
anged for the better. She wanted to make a good impression on her family's friends. This particular acquaintance was definitely worth some extra attention.

  Thomas noticed the connection between his cousin and his best friend.

  "James, Mama is making something good for lunch to make Laura feel at home. You should come over if your mama will let you sneak away."

  Laura felt the blood rush to her cheeks in embarrassment as she noticed Thomas wink at James.

  "Well, that's an offer I can't refuse. I'll follow behind you. I just need to pay for my feed and this soap," answered James as his never-ending dimples appeared along with a charming smile.

  On the way home, Thomas told Laura that he and James had been friends ever since he could remember. James's mother had grown up with Aunt June and Laura's mother, so the two family's friendship had spanned generations.

  When they arrived at the ranch, James and Thomas unloaded the buggy. Laura went inside to see if Aunt June needed any help with lunch. After a few moments, James and Thomas appeared, along with Uncle Robert, ready to indulge in a good home cooked meal. Laura couldn't help but take in the scene as something that seemed too good to be true: a happy family with a friendly neighbor enjoying heartfelt conversation around the table. The smell of fresh bread permeated throughout the house. This was a life she could get used to.

  Annie returned home from school in the late afternoon and didn't even make an attempt to hide her excitement that James had taken an interest in Laura. James was one of the most handsome men in town. He came from a good family, he was polite and had a wild side that Annie whispered to Laura about while Aunt June's back was turned.