Pretty In Pink

by Sommer Marsden

  It had not been a banner decade for Kimber. At thirty-two she was ready for a good man or no man. And since men seemed to be her doom, in general, it was looking as if no man was the way to go.

  Sarah yanked at Kimber‘s arm, ignorant of how John had disliked her. “Go on. What are you waiting for?”

  “Oh, I am not calling that shit stain! I’d rather be eaten by rabid wildebeests than call him.” Kimber stalked to the window. She gazed up seeing nothing at all. Nothing. At. All. “He can’t help me. He is mentally compromised.”

  “How so?” Sarah whispered, coming to the kitchen window and looking up too.

  “His head is empty. That’s how so,” Kimber said.

  They laughed, holding each other as another shrieking kind of moan filled the house. “What. The. Fuck?” Kimber asked.

  “Don’t look at me.”

  The final wail was the last straw and Kimber grabbed Sarah. “Come on. Let’s go. I doubt whatever it is can hurt us, but I‘ve had enough. Time to call in the troops, get back up, muster some reinforcements.” She was babbling, but talking aloud always helped keep her at least a bit calm. “Let’s go! Move your ass,” Kimber barked.

  “Go where?”

  “Next door. Mr. Gay America.”

  “He’s not gay!”

  “Whatever. We’ll figure that out later. Let’s go see if he’ll come over with his shield and sword and save us.”

  “We’re not damsels in distress.” Sarah rolled her eyes, but Kimber could see her pulse pounding at her throat.

  “Of course not. But…we need help. We need bulk, muscle…firepower.”

  “What?”

  “Oh, for Gods’ sake. He’s a cop, Sar. Let’s go”

  Darkness swiftly descended upon them leaving the air around them the color of periwinkles. They rushed down the path, slipping and shrieking as evening traffic trickled past. Sarah went into a skid, pulling Kimber with her. Why were they doing this? Why couldn’t they figure out what was wrong with the house themselves? Why did they need a man?

  Because Kimber had no earthly clue what to do, where to begin, or how she would solve a household issue if that ever came about. But before the new year ended she planned on knowing. She was going to get one of those owning a house for morons kind of books and start being a domestically empowered woman. She was. Right after she begged her new neighbor Charlie Bucker? Bowman? Brewster! Right after she asked Charlie Brewster to help her out this one little time.

  They did a Lucy and Ethel-esque slip and slide right up to his door and started banging. “My god. What if it’s a water pipe? What if the water main has busted?” Kimber breathed.

  “That would be the county’s problem, honey,” Sarah’s teeth chattered. “You don’t have a whole damn main under your house.”

  “Okay, whatever. You know what I mean. Do not split hairs. What if my main has ruptured.”

  “Then you are fucked.” Sarah’s teeth clickety-clacking together as the temperature dipped and the wind picked up. They’d backed up a bit, into the purpling shadows, so the door could be opened.

  “Damn!” Kimber said as the door swung open. Warm, glowing home light came spilling out. The kind of light that cozy, safe thoughts were made of. The screen door came open and they both turned to scramble inside the small shelter.

  “Hello?” There he stood. All six-foot-three-inches of him. Sandy hair teased high, eyes painted a garish blue with lopsided fake eyelashes. His bulk was barely concealed in a hot pink bathrobe with tulip appliqués on it. Faded jeans stuck out underneath and a plain white tee, but that robe did it’s best to hug his bulging biceps and nicely cut forearms.

  Cold, freaked out, shuddering with the wind, they still stood dumbfounded and silent.

  “Holy mother of Christmas,” Sarah gasped.

  “What she means is…” Kimber lost her train of thought staring at the train wreck of a makeup job. A hysterical half-snicker escaped her and she clamped her hand over her mouth.

  “Hello, pretty in pink,” Sarah snorted. “What in the hell are you wearing ma—”

  Kimber punched Sarah none too lightly on the arm and her friend winced. “What she means is, hi. Hi there. I’m Kimber from next door. We’ve waved and…” They both let out a hoot as the December wind whipped around the porch and froze them to the bone.

  “Ladies, why don’t you come in,” he said, frowning. Even frowning he was handsome. Despite the makeup and the pink and the tulips. Despite all that, Kimber recognized a smoking hot man when she saw one.

  “Yes, ladies, come on in,” said a small voice from closer to the ground. Kimber looked down and smiled. A small, blonde girl, who was the spitting image of their host smiled up. She giggled, waved, and shook a makeup brush at them. “It’s cold out there. Put some hustle in your bustle!”

  Sarah looked down as if she’d never ever seen a child before and Kimber had to prod her to get her to move. Soon they were both ensconced in the brilliant light and warmth of Charlie’s home.

  “So what can I do for you?” He swiped at his eyelashes, and, if she wasn’t mistaken, the poor thing was blushing.

  I'd blush too if that was how I did my makeup. But then she remembered the little girl with the eye shadow applicator. “We heard some very disturbing noises,” Kimber gasped. “But you…” She indicated his ensemble and the small girl.

  “Oh. This is my niece. Clarice say hello to my neighbor Miss Kimber and…?”

  “Sarah. This is my friend Sarah,” Kimber said. She bent to shake hands with Clarice. “Hi there!”

  “Hi!” Clarice took as step behind her uncle and peeked out, staying protected but checking them out.

  “Clarice was giving me a makeover is all,” he said. “What kind of noises?”

  He stood up straighter and Kimber could truly see the bulk of him. The yummy, trim, fit bulk. He scooped up the girl when she moved to him and Kimber felt something in her warm to him even more. “Like a groan.”

  “And a scream!” Sarah cut in.

  “A groan mixed with a scream,” Sarah said.

  “A human scream?” Charlie looked calm but concerned as he shifted his niece to the other hip.

  “Not human. More like…house noises mixed with um…”

  “Monsters!” Sarah laughed, but she didn’t look like it was so funny all the sudden.

  “Oh, no, not monsters,” Clarice breathed.

  “I’m sure it’s not monsters,” Charlie said to Clarice. He patted her head. “Well, if you let me get dressed, I’ll come check it out.”

  “You really…I mean, you clearly have something…”

  “My uncle is very brave. He’s a police occifer.”

  “I know. I’ve seen him in his uniform,” Kimber said and smiled.

  “And she liked it,” Sarah whispered and laughed.

  Kimber blushed, but at least she saw that she wasn’t the only one. It seemed Charlie Brewster was blushing too.

  Chapter 2

  “I was in a blue mood,” Clarice said again.

  “But the robe was totally pink. To match the bird,” Sarah said, examining Charlie's knick knacks even thought Kimber kept waving her to sit down and behave.

  “That robe is my mom’s. It was in there by accident from when we stayed with Uncle Charlie when we moved here. We used to live in another state, but now we're going to live here in this state. I thought it looked pretty with his hair.”

  “It sure did,” Kimber said, laughing. This kid was too cute.

  “So does your uncle have anyone special up here?” Sarah asked, poking through the pictures on the mantle.

  “We’re all special,” Clarice said, frowning.

  “Of course you are.” Kimber gave Sarah the old axe motion when the child wasn’t looking.

  “I mean a special friend. A special…um…very special kind of person. Someone he really likes. You know. Like, really,” Sarah said.

  Kimber willed the floor to open up and swallow her. This was all mortifying enou
gh without Sarah playing the nosy buttinsky version of Nancy Drew with a small child.

  Clarice looked up and smiled. “Uncle Charlie likes everyone. Boys, girls…” she shrugged.

  Sarah’s eyes flew wide, but Kimber nodded. When Clarice looked out the window she mouthed “bi.” to her friend. Sarah rolled her eyes and returned to examining the photos. She held up a picture of him with a woman. Then a man. But really, what the hell did that mean? That he had people in his life. Whoopdee doo! Sarah would just have to learn to defer to Kimber’s perfected gaydar.

  “You did a lovely job on his makeup,” Kimber said and Clarice beamed.

  “Did you know it’s snowing?” The girl clapped her hands. “Here’s hoping for no school tomorrow!”

  “You don’t like school?” Sarah asked. She was a part-time teacher's assistant for Pre-K and Kindgarten for one of the local schools. At least until hey got their business up and running.

  “I love it, but I love snow more!” Clarice said.

  Kimber nodded. “You have a point. I work in a daycare center and Sarah works for the school up the street. Pine Perry Elementary.”

  “Oh, I don’t go there. I go to Seven Spruces. But if Uncle Charlie would let me live here, I could go to school with you!” she pointed to Sarah.

  “Only for a bit. We’re starting a business for moms around here.”

  “Neat.”

  “Very neat,” said a much deeper voice. He came in the room and okay, so Kimber had to admit it, she felt her pulse jackrabbit and some of her naughtier spots reacted a bit warmly and wetly to Charlie Brewster without his fancy makeup and decked out in a tee and faded jeans.

  “What?” she breathed.

  Sarah snorted and even Clarice laughed. Charlie beamed. My god, did he have any clue how good looking he was?

  “It’s very neat that you' re starting a business. You two come and go and always look so…what’s the word?”

  Kimber tried to keep her eyes pinned to his big, green eyes instead of his tight ass and muscular legs. Or the way his jeans kissed all the right places on his body to make her feel girlish and flushed. Kimber shook her head. “I have no idea. What is the word?”

  “Intent. Determined. Capable.” He smiled and that smile made her nipples hard.

  Thank god for thick sweaters.

  “We are so capable,” Kimber said, “that we’re here to beg you to help us.” Her voice was too high and too thin, sort of like she’d been sucking Helium.

  Charlie frowned and scooped Clarice up when she tugged his arm. He settled her with ease on his hip with such casual grace that Kimber felt the fleeting urge to lean in and kiss him. So, maybe, just maybe, she could hope for bi. She wouldn’t mind a…no! NO, no, no. She wanted a long term man who wanted her and only her or nothing at all.

  Right?

  “What’s up? Is there a problem?”

  “I know you’re a police officer, I’ve seen you in uniform—”

  “And might we say, Yum!” Sarah interjected.

  “Shush.” Kimber waved a hand at her and Clarice giggled again behind her pudgy little hand. “And we have an odd noise in my house and we cannot figure out what it is and it’s sort of scary. But, you have Clarice here and that would be wrong and—”

  “What’s it sound like?” Clarice asked, and Charlie grinned at her, obviously pleased at her urge to investigate.

  “A moan and a …well, a screech…and sort of…” Why was it so hard to succinctly describe a sound that had driven her from her home on a cold December night to ask this man for help?

  “It sounded like a Hellhound with a thorn in its paw,” Sarah blurted. Then, “Sorry.”

  “Sorry?” Charlie asked, grinning.

  “Yeah,” she whispered as if Clarice wouldn’t hear. “I said ‘hell.’”

  “I’ve heard worse,” Clarice whispered, and Kimber had to bite back a grin. The child was so sharp it was unreal. “I’ve even heard Uncle Charlie say ‘damn’.”

  “Clarice!” he said, but Kimber could tell he was losing the war with his own smile.

  “It is in the Bible, Uncle Charlie.”

  “So it is. Put your boots and coat on. We’re going next door.”

  “But we—” Kimber started to protest.

  Charlie held up his hand and winked at her. He set Clarice on the floor and she ran off to gear up. “I think I know what it is. Trust me. I would never in a million years put that little girl in the way of any danger.”

  “Who’s this?” Sarah asked, waving a silver frame of a gorgeous man standing and posing for the camera with Charlie.

  Charlie frowned for a single beat. “My partner,” he said, pulling on his own boots. Rugged, brown, beat to hell boots. There was something about a man who wore his work boots to shreds that turned Kimber on. At this point she found herself, really, really, really hoping for bisexual. She had never rooted for anyone to be bisexual before.

  “But I’ve seen the person with you in your cruis…” she let her voice peter out. Boy, way to sound uninterested. Her face burned hot and bright red, she could tell from the feel of it.

  “They're not together anymore,” Clarice said from the doorway. She wore a bright orange coat and purple boots. Kimber thought she looked adorable and fun.

  “I apologize,” Sarah said.

  “It’s fine. He moved on. I moved on. Everyone moved on.”

  Sarah’s hands went for the other frame showing Charlie and a stunning blonde woman. Kimber swiftly grabbed his arm and took Clarice’s hand. “Let’s go. Thank you so much for seeing about this. Are you sure it’s not a problem?”

  “None at all,” he said and she saw his eyes slide down the slope of her neck. His gazed roamed her for a second and Kimber found herself holding her breath. Would she pass muster? Was he interested? Were they even right about him? She’d never been more confused about a man, and that was saying something.

  “Let’s go slay us a Hellhound!” Clarice yelled and swung Kimber’s hand high, pulling her eyes down and away from Charlie.

  "Clarice," Charlie said.

  "Late night TV. Inappropriate."

  Everyone laughed and Kimber noted, gratefully, that Sarah put the damn picture frame down and followed.

  * * * *

  “Adam told me about the most god awful noise one winter when he lived here,” Charlie said, climbing the steps to her top floor. Kimber tried really, really hard to keep her eyes on the ugly blue runner that she wished to replace. But her wily eyes kept straying up and up and up. Over firm calves and thighs clad in faded demin. Over back pockets and back belt loops and what appeared to be the world’s most perfect ass sheathed in Levi’s.

  “Dear god,” she said under her breath.

  “Pardon?” He stopped, pinning her with a green gaze that reminded her of some tropical body of water or other.

  “I said what did he tell you?”

  “That it sounded like something out of a horror movie,” Charlie said.

  Clarice had asked for crayons and Sarah had promptly provided some white butcher’s paper and some pens and permanent markers for the girl. They were busy drawing Santa’s village while Kimber followed Charlie through her house. The way he moved with previous knowledge through her upstairs was somehow intimate. Or maybe it’s just that he’s so damn hot that makes it seem intimate. Him shaking your damn hand would seem intimate…

  “Well, that pretty much describes it,” Kimber said and cleared her throat. Nerves had made her feel like she was breathing through a swizzle stick. “It was horrible. I thought we were going to trip over each other getting out of here,” she snorted and then promptly shook her head. Classy.

  “And good old Adam told me that it was the damndest thing…” Charlie had taken a turn into her master bedroom and the fact that he was standing two feet from her unmade bed, blond, hair mussed, green eyes glowing in a soft desk lamp, made Kimber’s skin was burn with need.

  “Which was what?”

  Suddenly, Cha
rlie stopped and she slammed into hard bicep, shoulder, and, god help her, taut forearm. He turned to steady her and she found herself breast to chest with the gay policeman who starred in her pornographic mental images.

  “That his rain gutter had frozen,” Charlie said, hands still on her.

  “Oh.” His fingers were big. And warm. And the way he gripped her arms she could imagine him holding her like that while he moved over her. Moved in her. Kimber blinked, feeling the world spin just a bit. But that was silly. He was a safe guy. A nice guy. An off limits guy.

  “And the rain gutter was…peeling…away…from…” He gasped, shook her a little and she yelped. He was joking with her. Charlie laughed and finished. “The house! Let’s take a look.”

  Her tongue grew dry and her panties dampened. She wanted to smack him on the head and kiss him all at once. “Christ.”

  “Hey, I was just messing with you.” Charlie rubbed her back in a good natured way and Kimber heard herself sigh. It was a definitive kind of sigh. A man that feels good go lower sigh. Charlie froze and so did she.

  Kimber swallowed hard. “Let’s see about that gutter!” And forget that my mind seems to be in one.

  Together they wrestled her ancient painted and repainted window up, though Kimber had no doubt that Charlie could have done it himself. They leaned out nearly side by side, though his bulk crowded her and stopped her pulse in her throat. Dear goodness, he was big.

  “There it is,” he said, staring at her gutter as the top part hung precariously from the side of her house.