Love and War

by Jackie Chanel

  “My iPod’s over there.” Caprice pointed towards the entertainment system that Rocco installed when she moved in.

  Diesel hit play and classic Def Leppard filled the comfortable silence. Caprice grinned sheepishly when Diesel raised his eyebrows at her.

  “What?” she giggled. “I was working out, and I like working out to Def Leppard. Nothing makes me sweat like Pour Some Sugar on Me.”

  Diesel switched her Workout playlist to the one named 90s R&B and sat on the sofa. “You’re an interesting chick.”

  “I’ll take that as a compliment.”

  “You should,” Diesel said with his eyes closed. “Most chicks are boring.”

  Caprice stared at Diesel who was mouthing the words to Keith Sweat’s Twisted with his head on one of the sofa pillows and his eyes closed. She wanted to return the compliment. She wanted to join him on the couch, but she did neither. Instead, she went back to her Finance study guide. An hour later, she looked at her watch. It was almost ten o’clock and Keisha still hadn’t shown up. Caprice sent her a text and a few minutes later, Keisha replied.

  Girl! My mother is trippin! She got into it with her man & he kicked her ass. I’m @ the ER w/ her now. Did Diesel show up there?

  Caprice glanced over at her sofa. Diesel still had his eyes closed. She couldn’t tell if he was really into the music or if he was sleeping. All she knew was that she didn’t want Keisha coming to her house.

  No, she texted back. Why would Diesel be over here?

  I told him to meet me there

  He hasn’t showed up here

  It’s cool. I’ll hook up with him some other time. Gotta take care of my momma anyway. Call you tomorrow

  Okay. Bye.

  Caprice turned off her phone and walked into the living room. She sat down next to Diesel and rested her hand on his knee.

  “Hey,” she said softly. “Are you asleep?”

  “No.”

  “I texted Keisha. She’s at the ER with her mom. She said she’ll hook up with you another time.”

  “Whatever.”

  “Damn, Grumpy,” Caprice laughed. “I’m sure you have plenty of girls that want to spend a Friday night with you. I mean, you are cuter than Aries and nicer too. I’m sure you have a stable of bitches, just like him.”

  “Maybe. Maybe not,” was Diesel’s sleepy reply. “Why do you care?”

  “I don’t, but I know how guys like you operate.”

  Diesel turned his head and stared intensely at Caprice. His eyes were light brown, almost hazel. His lips were full and glistened when he licked them. Every second that he looked at her felt like a minute. Caprice wanted to look away but she couldn’t. Thoughts of Rocco and even Aries were fleeing every second that his eyes met hers. Then Diesel smiled and Caprice’s heart began to flutter.

  “You don’t know anything about me.”

  “True,” Caprice nodded. “So tell me something I don’t know.”

  “How about we go get something to eat and talk. I’m hungry as hell.”

  “How about we stay here and I’ll cook?” Caprice suggested.

  She didn’t want to be seen in public with Diesel. She wasn’t sure how Aries would react. Not that she cared if his feelings were hurt, but she hadn’t finished the job that her father expected her to do. She couldn’t risk Aries getting upset and cutting her off. She hadn’t learned who his new connect was, which was the only way to get the Black Diamond Mafia back in line.

  “You’d cook for me?” Diesel looked genuinely surprised. “Why?”

  “Because we’re both hungry.”

  Caprice played it cool while she unthawed a container of Maria’s famous spaghetti sauce and boiled some noodles. She knew exactly what Diesel meant. The way to a man’s heart was through his stomach. Cooking for a man wasn’t just some run of the mill act. It wasn’t about the food. It was the act that made it special. She wanted to cook for Rocco, but he never seemed to want her to.

  When Caprice and Diesel sat down at the table with bowls of spaghetti and homemade garlic bread in front of them, they both knew that something had changed between them.

  “This is good,” Diesel said. “You don’t look like the type of girl who can throw down in the kitchen.”

  “I can’t. Not yet, anyway,” Caprice admitted. “But I’m learning. What kind of Italian woman would I be if I couldn’t cook?”

  “Italian, huh? I knew you were mixed with something.” Diesel frowned, but kept eating. Caprice knew why he was frowning. BDM hadn’t had the best of luck with Italians. She ignored the look of contempt on his face.

  “So, tell me something I don’t know about you.”

  “Not much to tell. Oldest kid out of four. I was born in Philly and moved to Queens when I was ten. Moms worked too hard. Dad split after the last kid was born. I hooked up with Aries in junior high and been doing this ever since. What about you?”

  “I was born and raised in Miami. I never knew my dad until I graduated from high school. My mother was a supermodel. Now she’s a designer and has a couple of other business ventures going on.”

  “What’s her name?”

  “Mahogany Burke. You’ve probably seen her in magazines before.”

  “Your father’s Italian?”

  Caprice nodded. “Yeah. He’s a decent guy.”

  “Where’s he at? In Miami too?”

  “No,” Caprice said cautiously. She had to be careful not to raise any suspicions. “He’s out west. He’s a big time developer in Vegas or something like that. Like I said, I just met him a few years ago.”

  “Italians here run the city. There are a bunch of them around New York. The Capellas, the Fantones, and the Bonatelli family. We can’t stand none of them.”

  “Italians in Queens? I thought the Black Diamond Mafia ran this borough.”

  “We did, until dudes started making deals with the Italians. Now Aries wants to change all that. If he can pull off what he has planned, we’ll be back on top in no time. But you don’t need to know about that. That’s BDM business. Unless you’re interested in joining us, we should talk about something else.”

  “Do I look like a gangster?” Caprice laughed.

  “That’s what I mean. You look like the next CEO of Bank of America or some shit like that. So my question is, why do you wanna be down with Aries?”

  “It’s hard to explain, but I just like him,” Caprice lied. “I really don’t care what he does for a living.”

  “You should,” Diesel frowned. “Liking someone isn’t enough, not when liking a person could get you killed. It’s dangerous for us out here.”

  Caprice sat her fork down and looked at Diesel. He had a strange look on his face, like he regretted ever getting involved with the Black Diamond Mafia.

  “Why do you do it? Why put yourself in danger every day if you’re advising me not to?”

  “I’ll do whatever my family needs me to do. I got little sisters and brothers that have to eat. Moms can’t work anymore so it’s on me. It’s not what I wanted for my family, but it’s what I gotta do.”

  “There’s no other way?”

  Diesel slid his chair back abruptly and stood up. “Forget I said anything. I don’t want any sympathy from nobody. Thanks for the food. I’ll see you around.”

  He started to walk towards the door and Caprice jumped up from her chair.

  “Wait,” she called.

  “What? I need to get out of here,” Diesel shook his head. “I’ve been here for too long as it is. You’re one of Aries’ girls. We’re brothers, but we don’t share women.”

  Caprice stood in front of the door. She had no desire to see Diesel leave. For a moment, she didn’t care about Rocco, Aries, or the job that she was supposed to be doing. What she saw in front of her was a man with a big heart, who obviously liked her as much as she liked him, and she wasn’t willing to let him walk away. She didn’t want their time together to end yet.

  “I’m not one of Aries’ anything,” Caprice stated.
“Don’t go yet.”

  “Why?”

  “Because I like talking to you.” She smiled. “And I have ice cream.”

  “Really?” Diesel chuckled. “What kind?”

  “Butter pecan.”

  Diesel’s eyes grazed over Caprice’s bare shoulders and past the stopping point of her shorts. Trailing his hand softly over her thigh, he whispered, “Butter pecan, huh? That’s my favorite.”

  Caprice boldly put her arms around his neck and leaned into him. “You don’t want to go. You know you don’t want to leave me.”

  Diesel wrapped his arms around Caprice’s waist. Aries was going to be pissed, but there was something about Caprice’s dark eyes that lured him in. Something in her voice that called out to him on a level that no other woman had ever. Her velvety voice made him want to hear her speak continuously. Her body was soft and her skin warmed wherever he touched. She was the kind of woman that his mother told him about; the kind he longed for. Smart, beautiful, and doing something with her life. She didn’t bear the scars of a broken home or the pain of being hurt by another man. With him, she never would. He had to have her.

  Diesel held Caprice in his arms and whispered in her ear, “I like you.”

  Caprice rested her head on his shoulder and touched her lips softly against the base of his neck. His skin was warm and smooth. She inhaled. He smelled like men’s body wash mixed with a little weed. Immediately, she wanted his scent all over her body, her sheets, and her pillows.

  “I like you too.”

  “What are we going to do about them?”

  With her head still on Diesel’s shoulder, Caprice sighed. There was nothing they could do. She still had to get Aries to talk, and Keisha was thirsting after Diesel so badly that she was liable to kick Caprice’s ass for even looking at him.

  “Let’s not do anything yet. Let’s play it safe until we know they aren’t going to trip. Can you do that?”

  Diesel nodded. He wasn’t in a hurry to unveil his betrayal to his best friend.

  “Fake it till you make it, right?”

  “In the meantime…” Caprice raised her head a few inches off of her new favorite place. “Kiss me.”

  “My pleasure.”

  Oh my God! Caprice thought. Diesel’s thick lips against hers were more than she ever imagined a kiss could be. When he slid his tongue inside her mouth, she was transported to a place of pure bliss. No one had ever kissed her the way Diesel was doing. She practically melted in his arms.

  She knew that wanting him went against everything she had going on. When the shit hit the fan, one or both of them was going to end up hurt. As she allowed Diesel to lead her to the couch, Caprice began planning a new strategy. She had to take down Aries without getting Diesel caught up. She had to keep him out of it, in any possible way.

  Their future depended on it.

  Chapter Eight

  “What’s the matter with me?” Caprice yelled into her Bluetooth. “What’s the matter with you, Rocco?”

  Caprice was in her car, racing through the traffic, hoping to make her nine o’clock final. She was running late and didn’t have the time or patience to deal with Rocco and his bullshit.

  “You’re the one who keeps cancelling our plans!” she continued to scream. “You’re the one who always finds shit to do when I’m free. I told you I have finals every day this week. I’m not coming to Staten Island!”

  “You haven’t been over here in a month. You’re taking this BDM shit way too seriously.”

  “I’m just doing my job,” Caprice stated evenly. “If you and Nico had handled this shit properly in the first place, I wouldn’t be here. I could be going to Miami and sitting by my pool. Instead, I’m knee deep in some gangster’s life because you two couldn’t figure out a better fuckin’ plan. Don’t start with me, Rocco!”

  “You are such a bitch!” Rocco sighed.

  “Takes one to know one.”

  Caprice pushed the button on her Bluetooth to end the call. She was frustrated and her interest in her Italian stallion was waning. Juggling two real relationships and a fake one, plus trying to keep all three of them a secret was starting to wear her out.

  Rocco and Aries couldn’t find out about Diesel. Aries and Diesel couldn’t find out about Rocco, and Keisha’s ass couldn’t find out about any of them, especially Diesel…the one that really mattered to Caprice.

  As much as she yearned to focus solely on him, she couldn’t. If she broke up with Rocco before her job was over, he would kill every member of BDM and probably get himself killed in the process. Not to mention what he would tell Domani if he found out she was screwing a BDM member that was not Aries. Technically, she wasn’t having sex with Diesel, but Rocco would never believe that.

  Besides, she didn’t really want to break up with Rocco. She was dreading the moment when she would have to choose between him and Diesel. Her problem was that in her own way, she liked them both for entirely different reasons. If she could have combined them, she would have the perfect boyfriend.

  Diesel was smart, caring, tough, and fun. Although they only talked on the phone and kicked it at her place, she enjoyed every minute they were together. He liked being close to her. He liked being affectionate with her. Caprice provided him with an escape from the danger he faced on the streets. With her, he could share the side of himself that he kept hidden from his crew.

  They watched documentaries on The History Channel, he read books while she studied and stole kisses from time to time. Diesel was fucking Keisha, but he was falling in love with Caprice.

  Rocco, on the other hand, was tough all the time. He was demanding and rough around the edges. He didn’t take any shit from her or anyone else. They didn’t snuggle on the couch and watch sappy love stories on Netflix. Rocco was more of a Fast and the Furious, Mission Impossible type of guy where dinner and movie meant just that plus a blowjob in the car.

  Caprice loved them both, even though she was afraid that in the end, she probably wouldn’t be able to have either.

  What she had going on with Aries wasn’t really anything to call home about. The man was careful and kept his mouth shut. She wasn’t one of the chosen that he allowed to get close to BDM. She was his eye candy. He liked to take her places and show her off when they actually went out. Caprice kept him at a distance. Doing so kept him interested. He couldn’t have her the way he had every other chick he wanted. Aries was a dog chasing tail when it came to Caprice. As long as she kept dangling the bone, he kept trying to grab it.

  He returned her texts immediately. He brought food to her apartment when she was studying late. The only thing that worried her was that he wasn’t talking about anything of importance. She didn’t care about his family problems, or his baby mama. Aries wasn’t giving up the goods on his new connect or hinting at how he planned to take over the drug trade in Queens. What she learned about his business came from Diesel.

  Her Bluetooth rang in her ear so she answered it as she swerved to avoid hitting a jay walker and pulled her Lexus into a parking deck.

  “What are you doing up so early?” she asked when she heard Aries’ voice.

  “I want to see you tonight.”

  “I’m not one of your beck and call girls,” Caprice replied. “I told you I have finals every day this week. You should be trying to make things easier for me, not expecting me to go out when I should be studying.”

  “I still want to see you,” Aries insisted.

  “Then how about I text you when I’m done today and we can get lunch or something.”

  “You want me to come all the way to the Village?”

  “You gotta leave Queens at some point in your life, Aries. I’ll text you later. Gotta go. I’m about to be late.”

  Caprice disconnected the call and slipped her feet out of Steve Madden sandals and stuck them in her large bag. She slid on her Nikes. She really was late and was going to have to run across campus to make her final on time.

  ****

&n
bsp; “Lord Jesus!” Keisha yelled when she and Caprice stepped outside the classroom building. “Thank God that shit is over! Professor Reynolds be on that bullshit! That bitch didn’t have to make the final that hard!”

  “It wouldn’t have been that hard if you had studied instead of following Diesel around all the time, or hanging at my house with your cousin. You see what I be doing while y’all be gettin’ high. Studying. I’m trying to graduate. What are you trying to do?” Caprice lowered her sunglasses and started walking towards her favorite campus coffee shop.

  “Let’s go get a latte.”

  Keisha adjusted her heavy book bag and shook her head. “Can’t. I have my English Lit final in twenty minutes. You done for the day?”

  Caprice nodded. She stopped walking when she spotted a red Cadillac parked across the street from the school campus.

  “That’s my cousin’s car,” Keisha pointed out. “What’s he doing in the Village?”

  With a look of pure satisfaction, Caprice started walking towards the car. Keisha was too nosy to stay behind so she quickly tried to catch up.

  The car was bumping 2Chainz I’m Different extremely loud, making it stand out even more on the generally tame street. Caprice tapped on the driver’s window. Aries’ grinning face greeted her when he rolled down the window.

  “You’re stalking me now?” Caprice smiled.

  “Nah, baby, never that,” Aries chuckled. “You said you were done with finals and hungry so here I am. You know I always come through for you.”

  “So sweet,” Caprice laughed.

  “You didn’t tell me you told Aries to come up here,” Keisha said loudly. “Y’all a couple now? Why didn’t you tell me?”

  Caprice looked at the girl and frowned. “I don’t tell you all of my business. Good luck on your English Lit final.”

  She walked around to the passenger side and climbed into the car and out of the hot New York sun. A blast of cool air hit her as she sank into the buttery soft leather.

  “See ya later, cuz!” Aries rolled up his window and pulled into traffic.

  “This is new,” Caprice stated. “Thought a man like you couldn’t be seen in anything cheaper than a Benz.”