His Reason to Stay: In the Line of Duty, Book 6

by Cathryn Fox

  His eyes briefly shut. “Fuck, that feels good.”

  “Please tell me you have a condom,” she whispered. He pulled one from the front pocket of his jeans and she chuckled breathlessly. “You really did have this planned.”

  His grin was boyish and seductive at the same time. “I just like to be prepared,” he said, admitting to nothing.

  He ripped into the condom and she took it from him to roll it down. He shook his head like he was in pure agony. Once she finished, he slipped his hands under her dress. Her body burned as his fingers raced up her thighs to the band on her panties. A quick tug and he dragged the slip of material from her hips. Without his eyes ever leaving hers, she lifted for him and he pulled her panties away, tucking them in his back pocket.

  Being with Kyle like this, most of their clothes still on as they made out in a vehicle, felt so naughty, so exciting. She’d be lying if she said she’d never thought about this exact situation back in the day, when they were all in high school and she and Kyle would hang out in his car. While the two had been incredibly close, he always pulled back when it came to her, never offering her anything more than friendship—before that day at the bluff.

  But what they were doing now went so much deeper than fun, hurried, high school sex in the cab of a truck. She was pretty sure he knew that every bit as much as she did.

  Kyle fell over her and her sex fluttered in anticipation. “Open for me, babe,” he commanded in a soft voice.

  She widened her legs, offering him her body and her heart.

  Warm lips found hers and he captured her mouth in a kiss full of passion and possession as he teased his cock between her legs. He brushed his crown over her clit, drawing out the seduction. She wiggled, urging him to hurry, to stop torturing her.

  “Please,” she begged. “I need you inside me.”

  “I know, babe, I know.” His tongue brushed over hers and he growled into her mouth. “I can’t ever seem to get enough of you either.”

  She wrapped her legs around him, forcing him in. “Just take, Kyle. Take everything you need.”

  Her words triggered a reaction in him. His hips jerked and he drove impossibly deeper, like he was seeking more than just release. Her muscles tightened around him and squeezed as he pumped, slow at first but picking up momentum as she met and welcomed each beautiful thrust.

  “Rach,” he murmured and buried his face in her neck. “Jesus, Rach…”

  The need in his voice aroused her even more. She moved against him, grinding her clit against his pelvis each time he came down over her body. He raked shaky hands through her hair and fisted her curls. His breath was hot on her neck as he panted, like he was struggling to bring in air.

  “That’s so good,” she said, her voice a low, strained whisper as she reveled in his hard length, his thick girth. She took a quick breath as her body let go, tumbling into orgasm once again. Kyle growled and stilled inside her, his cock throbbing as he joined her in release.

  As they climaxed together, each sweet spasm brought them closer and closer together, creating an even deeper bond between them. Contentment raced through her and he held her tighter. Still joined as one, he collapsed on top of her, and their hearts and souls merged. She melted against him, and as she absorbed his heat, she felt so cherished, so loved in his arms. Everything about them felt right and all she could pray for was that nothing, not even her secret, could tear them apart now.

  Chapter Twelve

  “That’s yucky, Uncle Kyle,” Ava said as Kyle threaded her worm through the hook. Ava squirmed on the dock beside him, making a face that showcased complete disgust, as Kyle’s father laughed at her antics.

  Once Kyle finished with the worm, he showed Ava how to hold the rod and cast it into the water. “Now, you watch that bobber. When it moves, or dips under the water, you take this handle and start turning it. That will bring in the fish.”

  She nodded, her disgust replaced by intense concentration as she very carefully stared at the bobber in anticipation. How long would that last? With the kind of energy she had, if she didn’t catch something in seconds, she’d be bored out of her mind. After situating Ava, Kyle cast his own rod, and relaxed on the dock, enjoying the warm morning sun beating down on them.

  His father adjusted his hat, looked out over the placid water and said, “I’m glad you came and brought Ava by. Your mother and I love spending time with her.”

  “She’s a great kid.” He stole a glance at the sweet little girl beside him.

  “We don’t see Rachel enough.”

  His head jerked to the right to find his father watching him with deep concern in his eyes. Kyle stiffened and considered how to respond. He was pretty sure no matter what came out of his mouth, it would end in a fight, so instead he just remained quiet.

  “Will you all be coming to Easter dinner tomorrow night at the house?” his father asked, breaking the sudden uncomfortable quiet.

  “Yeah, what time?”

  “Six.”

  Ava huffed beside him, and kicked her legs out. “It’s not doing anything. Why isn’t it doing anything?”

  Kyle ruffled her hair. “Give it time, squirt.”

  The minutes passed slowly. For Kyle he enjoyed the relaxed pace. Ava on the other hand, was growing antsier by the minute. A boat went by and they all waved. Ava’s eyes lit up.

  She blinked up at him. “Can we go out on Grandpa’s boat?”

  “Maybe later.” Kyle said. “How about for now you go see if Grandma needs any help in the kitchen? I bet if you ask really nice, she might bake cookies with you.”

  She crinkled her nose. “But I want to catch a fish.”

  Kyle took the rod from her. “I’ll tell you what. If your bobber moves I’ll call you, okay?”

  Ava jumped to her feet and, squeezed his face in typical Ava fashion. “Okay.”

  She took off running, and Kyle laughed. “She’s really something, isn’t she?”

  “She is. You were right. Rachel is doing a good job with her.”

  Kyle’s gaze darted back to his father again. The man had seriously mellowed over the years. “Yeah, she is,” he agreed quietly.

  “So are you,” his father added.

  A noise came out of Kyle’s throat. A half laugh, half snort. Had his father just complimented him? Maybe they’d been out in the sun longer than he thought.

  His father looked up at the cottage then back at Kyle. “It’s easy to see that you two have grown pretty close over the last week.”

  “Yeah, we have. I’m going to miss her.”

  “And Rachel?” his father said. At the mention of her name, Kyle felt a possessive tug on his emotions. “Are you going to miss her too?”

  A wave of unease moved through him. Where the hell was his father going with this? “What are you getting at?” He stiffened, going on the defensive.

  His father cleared his throat and Kyle knew things were about to turn serious. “Kyle,” he began, his voice soft, a bit cautious. “You love her.”

  What the hell? Those were the last three words he expected to spill from his father’s mouth.

  “I’ve always known, son. Everyone has.”

  He gave a hard shake of his head, a tightness building in his chest. “You’re wrong. She was James’s girl,” he countered. “She was never mine.”

  “Only because James acted first.” Reg’s bobber disappeared under the water, and he gave a quick tug on his rod and reeled in his line, the clicking sound filling the moment of silence. The fish fought back, and before Reg could get it close enough, it freed itself and got away. He reached into the bucket and grabbed another worm. “You’ve always given up everything for him, Kyle.”

  Kyle toyed with the reel handle, his breath shakier than it was moments ago. “What are you talking about?”

  In spite of the serious conversation they found themselves in, his father laughed and nudged him with his shoulder. “I’m not the idiot you think I am.”

  “I never said yo
u were an idiot.” He glanced at his father, and they exchanged a long look. There was an understanding in the man’s eyes Kyle had never seen before.

  “And you, my son, are a hell of a lot smarter than you let on.” Reg cast his rod again, went quiet for a long time. “I miss James.” The sadness in his voice cut Kyle to the core. Reg pulled in a breath and let it out slowly. “I miss him so goddamn much. He was a good boy, with a bright future. It’s not right that it was snatched away so suddenly.” Reg put his hand on Kyle’s shoulder and closed his fingers, holding Kyle tight, tighter than he ever had before. “I’m just glad you and Ava didn’t inherit the condition.”

  Kyle’s gut clenched and tears pricked his eyes. He pinched the bridge of his nose to suppress the flow and turned, struggling to contain his emotions. He strove to keep it together, but talking about James, and the life he lost, was hard, damn hard. He was the best older brother a guy could ask for and was everything to Kyle. His death had ripped his heart in two.

  With his hand still on Kyle’s shoulder, his father said, “It’s time for you to take what you want, Kyle.”

  Kyle swallowed against the tightness in his throat and worked to keep his voice steady when he spoke. “What are you talking about?”

  “It’s time for you and Rachel to live the lives you were meant to live.”

  His father’s words caught him off guard and he nearly swallowed his tongue. “What?”

  “I know James would have wanted both Rachel and Ava to be loved and taken care of.”

  He shook his head hard. “But—”

  “He’d want the one person he loved most, the one person who loved Rachel as much as he did to be there when he couldn’t be,” he said, his voice trembling with emotion.

  Kyle’s hands clenched around his rod hard enough to break it as his heart thundered in his ears. “I’m not about to step into his shoes and take over, if that’s what you’re getting at. It’s wrong.”

  “You’re not stepping into his shoes. You’re forging your own path.” He laughed and shook his head. “Lord knows you’re good at doing things your way.”

  He took in the sadness on his father’s face. His rebellion had been hard on them. “I’m sorry, Dad. I was a shitty son.”

  “Never be sorry. Everything you did, you did for James. I know that now, Kyle. You’re the best brother—best man—I know.” A garbled sound caught in his father’s throat when he added, “I’m sorry I never told you that before.”

  His father’s praise pulled the tears from his eyes. Kyle planted one elbow on his leg, and rested his forehead on it as he tried to choke them back. His efforts proved futile. They both went quiet for a long time, each trying to deal with their feelings the only way they knew how.

  “Maybe it’s time to do something just for you. Start thinking about what you want. It’s easy to see how Rachel feels about you and that little girl needs a daddy.”

  He sat there trying to wrap his brain around what his father was telling him when he heard Ava.

  “Uncle Kyle?”

  Kyle sniffed, wiped his face and straightened at the sound of Ava’s voice. “Hey, squirt. I didn’t even hear you.”

  “What’s wrong?” Her big eyes moved over his face in worry as she reached out and twirled her fingers in his hair.

  “Nothing.” It was a lie. Everything was wrong. He was in love with Rachel, as well as the sweet little girl in front of him. His own father was telling him to go after what he wanted, yet in three days he was scheduled to ship out. “What’s up?”

  Her brow knit together. “Are you going to be my daddy?”

  “Sweetheart.” His heart went in to his throat as he worried about how much she’d overheard. “That’s not what we were saying at all.” He grabbed her rod and held it out, desperate to distract her. “Did you want to fish again?”

  She shook her head. “Grandma says it’s time for lunch.”

  He reeled in his line, set it on the dock and jumped to his feet. Ava grabbed his hand and his heart squeezed. How could he ever walk away from her? But how could he stay without feeling like he’d betrayed his brother—again?

  Maybe it’s time to do something just for you. Something you want.

  He walked with Ava up to the house, his father moving slowly behind them. The rest of the day passed in a blur and as evening approached, he packed Ava into the truck and drove them home.

  He glanced up to see Rachel standing at the front door waiting for them. Dressed in a pair of jeans and T-shirt, her arms were folded across her chest as she leaned against the doorjamb. Looking sweet, sexy, and happy for the first time in a long time, she smiled at them. His heart turned inside out.

  He wanted this. He wanted this so fucking bad. They hurried up the stairs to meet her, and after she kissed her daughter, Ava rushed to the bathroom to wash up for dinner. Kyle pulled Rachel in to his arms and planted a hungry kiss on her mouth.

  She inched back, her eyes wide. “What was that for?”

  He rolled his shoulder. “No reason, other than I wanted to.”

  She angled her head. “Is everything okay? You didn’t get in a fight with your parents did you?”

  “No, actually Dad and I had a good talk.” He let out a slow breath, the load on his shoulders lightening a little. “First time in a long time.”

  She smiled and touched his face. “I’m so glad to hear that, Kyle. I’d do anything to have one more minute with my dad. I’m happy to see you mending fences with him. It’s important. Family is important.”

  “You’re right. Family is important.”

  She looked him over for another second, her eyes narrowing. Then she glanced down at his empty hands and teasingly said, “I thought we were having fish for dinner.”

  He held his palms out, about nine inches apart. “I caught one this big, but it got away.”

  “Right.” She laughed. “Come on, I made dinner.”

  He followed her down the hall and dashed into the bathroom behind Ava to wash up.

  They all sat around the table like a family, Ava talked about worms and fishing and baking with Grandma as they ate. Once dinner was over, he did the dishes while Rachel gave Ava a bath, read her a book, and tucked her in.

  “You meeting the guys tonight?” she asked, coming back in to the kitchen carrying a big brown grocery bag.

  Kyle wrapped the dish towel around the oven handle “No, I thought I’d stay in. Have a beer. Watch a movie.” He stepped closer and tucked her hair behind her ears. “Then you know, let you tear my clothes off and have your way with me.”

  She laughed. “Sounds good, but first I have some chocolate eggs to hide. Want to help?”

  He smiled. He had such fond memories of hunting for Easter eggs with James.

  He peeked in to the bag. “Anything for me in there?”

  “Don’t worry, you’ll get something sweet later.”

  “Jesus,” he said, his cock thickening as she teased him. He grabbed the bag. “Let’s hurry then.”

  He helped Rachel hide the eggs, then laid out a chocolate bunny, a new doll, and a skipping rope on the table.

  “What, no train?”

  She laughed and lightly punched him in the gut. “No train.”

  He grabbed her and pulled her into his arms. She rested her head against him and as they stood together looking over Ava’s Easter presents, his heart thudded. This all felt so right.

  “Rach,” he whispered, everything in him screaming possession.

  “Yeah.”

  He glanced at the woman smiling up at him, and thought about the little girl in the bed upstairs. He wanted this. All of this.

  “I’m ready for something sweet now.”

  * * * * *

  Ava hopped around on the floor in front of the sofa, her energy at an all new high after indulging in too many Easter treats earlier that day. Now here they were, at Irene and Reg’s for a family dinner, Ava chatting their ears off.

  “And after the Easter egg hunt,” she con
tinued, “I found a chocolate bunny, a skipping rope and a new doll.” She held out her new doll for Irene’s inspection as Rachel exchanged smiles with Kyle. “Isn’t she pretty, Grandma?”

  “She’s very pretty, Ava.” Standing in the doorway separating the dining and living room, Irene bent, and cupped her granddaughter’s face. “She has big blue eyes like you.” As Ava beamed up at her grandma, Rachel noted the way Kyle’s glance went to the picture of James on the table beside him. Irene clapped her hands, calling all their attention. “Now let’s all get washed up. Dinner is ready.”

  Rachel pushed off the sofa, and sucked in a breath when Kyle’s troubled glance left the picture of James and settled on her. He studied her for a long moment, like he was trying to figure something out.

  “Are you okay?” she asked.

  He set down the tumbler of whisky he’d been nursing and stood. “Yeah, I…I don’t know.” He shook his head. “I think I’m tired.”

  “Ava wearing you out?”

  He laughed. “Something like that.”

  With her doll in one hand, Ava grabbed Rachel’s hand with the other and tugged. “Come on, Mommy. Grandma made turkey.”

  “How about we leave your doll in here.”

  She frowned and was about to protest when Rachel dropped to one knee. “We can tuck her into the chair here, and that way she won’t get any of that yummy cranberry sauce on her.”

  Ava thought about it for a moment then nodded. She ran over to the chair that Kyle had been sitting on and set her down.

  “Good girl.” Rachel captured her hand. They stepped into the dining room to find the table beautifully set for Easter dinner. It was nice. So nice. Rachel longed for family events like this.

  “This looks wonderful, Irene,” she said.

  “Thank you.” Irene smiled, and gestured for everyone to sit.

  “Uncle Kyle, sit by me,” Ava said as she hopped into her chair.

  Kyle sat beside her, and Rachel took the seat across from her daughter and next to Irene. She grabbed her napkin and shook it out as Reg sat at the head of the table, a smile on his face as he looked around at all his family members. His glance stopped on Rachel, and she took in the lines bracketing his eyes. He seemed different somehow, more relaxed. Did it have something to do with Kyle and their talk?