It’s none of your fucking business, Starowics, that voice in my head warns. A voice that’s been battling with the intense need to protect the girl from the moment I found her two years ago.
Broken.
Beaten.
Half starved.
I swallow over the lump that always forms whenever I remember that day. It wasn’t the first time I’d seen her. I was there when she’d first come to Kane, claiming to be his sister. And I was there when he’d handed her a wad of cash and pretty much told her not to contact him again.
He’d dismissed her.
But I couldn’t get her face out of my head. Those big blue eyes had held so much hope when she’d looked up at her hero of a brother, only to have those hopes crushed by another person who was supposed to protect her.
I’d hated myself, and him, for letting her walk away that day.
Guilt and rage still gnaw at me when I think about the way I’d found her months later. Blood matted in her hair, eye swollen shut, bruises darkening every inch of her skin. I’d taken her in, not caring what Kane thought, knowing I wouldn’t make the same mistake again.
“She’s a drug addict,” Kane had argued when I’d told him that I wasn’t letting her walk away this time.
I understood his concerns. Knew his own damages. And he knew mine.
“You can’t save everyone,” he’d muttered, shaking his head, already knowing he wouldn’t win this argument. But I’d also seen the gratitude in his eyes, knew as much as he wanted to step up and help her, his own demons had him pulling back.
So I made the choice that day to protect her.
That’s all it was supposed to be. Me looking out for my best friend’s sister, making sure she didn’t do anything to tarnish the Golden Boy’s reputation.
Except that scrawny, malnourished teenager had blossomed over the past couple of years and despite that I keep calling her a girl, the truth is she’s a woman now. A smart, stubborn, frustrating, gorgeous woman. And I’m not the only one to notice. It pisses me off when I see Tyler Slade, or other guys on the team, checking her out. But I know I can’t blame them. Any man would have to be blind not to notice her.
Soft curves. Full pouty lips. And those eyes. Eyes that had seen too much, known too much pain. Eyes that still hold a sliver of hope, despite it all, whenever they look at me. They haunt my sleep, making me want things I know I have no right to. But every primal part of me wants to give into it. To take her. Make her mine.
Not happening, that voice in my head warns.
Except it almost had. The night of Kane’s wedding, I’d almost given into the hellacious haze of lust that has become my reality.
She’d wanted it too. I’d seen the way her eyes dilated, her lips parted. She’d leaned into me, hips arching, and I’d lost myself for a moment. If her damn phone hadn’t rung, I’d have been two seconds away from taking her right there in the entryway of her apartment.
It’s why I’ve tried to keep my distance the past several months.
Instead of walking across the hall and taking what I know we both want, I’ve resorted to jacking off by myself whenever I’ve been close to breaking my control. My only solace; fantasies of her naked in my bed, face flushed with need as I work my cock inside her, my name a whimper on her lips.
Too many nights, the temptation has almost been too much. Especially when I’d catch Kiley’s gaze, see the desire mixed with hurt in her eyes. Damn, I wanted to take that hurt away.
But I know the truth, it may be what we want, but I know it’s not what Kiley needs.
It’s not just that she’s Kane’s little sister, or that she’s almost ten years younger than me. It’s that I’m the only stability she has. And I’m not going to fuck that up for her because my balls start to ache every time she walks into a room.
“So you’ve resorted to stalking her,” I mumble to myself, quickening my steps to catch up to her.
I know she’s keeping secrets.
It pisses me off that she still doesn’t trust me. Which is why I only feel slightly apprehensive following her now.
“What are you up to, Kiley?” I mutter, tugging Pax’s leash and turning the corner.
The alleyway is dark, but when my eyes adjust, I see Kiley at the far end, her gray hoodie pulled over her long blonde hair. She shifts from one foot to another as a man steps from the shadows and moves toward her.
The hair on the back of my neck stands on end, and Pax growls low.
Kiley pulls out an envelope from the pocket of her hoodie and hands it the guy. He opens it, flips through what is obviously a large sum of bills, then shoves it in the inside pocket of his leather jacket.
Damn it, Kiley. My brain rushes to conclusions and Kane’s accusations ring in my head.
Is she using? Fuck. I would have noticed. But what else could this be?
Kane is going to lose his shit. Hell, I’m about to lose it myself, especially when the man reaches out and grabs Kiley’s upper arm, jerking her toward him. His voice bounces off the narrow walls, but I don’t hear his words, they’re drowned out by the drumming of my heart in my ears.
When Pax starts barking, tugging at the leash and ready to bolt at the stranger, I think about letting him loose. To let him take out the motherfucker’s windpipe. But my fingers itch to do it myself.
Kiley looks up. Shock registers when her eyes meet mine. Then fear. Not for the creep whose hand is still bruisingly wrapped around her arm, but for me.
“Blake,” she gasps. I don’t hear it, but I see her mouth open on my name.
The man looks at me too, black, beady eyes that take me in, and I see recognition there. He knows who I am. Which isn’t unusual in this city. But for some reason, it only increases my anxiety.
Who the hell is this fucker?
“Let her go.” The words come out slow, calm, despite every cell in my body screaming for me to knock the guy’s front teeth out. But I don’t doubt he’s carrying a weapon, and if I make too sudden of a move, I know I’ll only put Kiley more at risk than she already is.
Pax continues to bark, hair standing on end, acutely aware of the danger in front of us. I just wish Kiley had as much sense as the damn dog. But she still seems more terrified of me being here than the fact that she’s in a dark alleyway with a man whose eyes tell me he’s capable of anything.
Kiley starts to pull away from him, but he jerks her back, hard enough that her chest bounces off his.
The asshole is two seconds away from losing his gonads.
“I said, let her go.” This time my words hold the threat I’ve been holding back, and I see both Kiley and the man flinch.
“Don’t do anything stupid,” Kiley whimpers, her eyes pleading with him. And the way she looks at the bastard, I realize she knows him.
The man snarls and whispers something in her ear before releasing her, then disappearing into the shadows from where he came. A second later, the sound of a metal door clangs shut with a bang.
Kiley looks at me, then frantically around her like she’s trying to find an escape route. I see it in her face when she realizes it’s no use. Her shoulders slump, and her body trembles when she lets out a shaky breath.
She doesn’t say a word, just keeps her gaze lowered as she walks toward me.
“It’s not what you think,” she whispers, her hand fluttering over the top of Pax’s head when he starts licking her.
Frustration. Anger. Confusion. They swirl inside of me. I want to demand the truth, but I’m afraid of what I’ll say if I open my mouth now. God knows it won’t be a gentle reprimand.
I grunt and nod toward the direction of our apartment, a silent command, which she’s smart enough not to argue with. Neither of us say a word until we’re in her apartment. She fills a bowl of water and puts it on the floor for Pax when I unleash him.
I start to pace, rubbing the back of my neck and trying to get my emotions in check.
“Are you going to tell Kane?” she asks.
“Jesus, Kiley, I don’t even know what I’d tell him.” I stop pacing and look at her. “Were you buying drugs?”
“No.” She shakes her head, eyes going wide. “You know I don’t use. I...” She glances away and pulls her bottom lip between her teeth. And I know she’s trying to think up some excuse, to tell me anything but the truth.
I move toward her, pulling her hoodie down, then cupping her jaw in my palm, forcing her to look at me. “No lies, Kiley. I can protect you. Whatever is going on.”
She takes a step back and my hand drops. “I don’t need you protecting me.”
I snort and remove the distance she’s trying to put between us. “Doesn’t matter what you want. I made a promise—”
“Kane doesn’t care.”
I don’t tell her the promise was to myself. “He’ll care if I tell him what I saw today. Tell me the truth.”
For a brief moment, I see all her walls come crashing down. She holds my gaze and I know there’s a part of her that wants to tell me everything. But just as fast as those walls came down, they’re reconstructed, higher and stronger than before.
She takes another step back, arms crossing over her chest and shrugs. “I owed a friend some money. That’s all.”
That douchebag is her friend? Bullshit.
“Money for what?”
Her shoulders lift, then fall, and she glances away. “Just an old debt.”
I can’t tell if she’s lying, but I know for certain she’s not telling me the whole truth.
The muscles in my jaw hurt from clenching my teeth together when I ask, “And the debt, is it paid in full now?”
Her throat bobs when she swallows. “Yes.” That slight hesitation before she answers tells me she’s lying.
“If you need money—”
“I don’t need your money, Blake. I just need you to...” She stutters over the words, bottom lip trembling. And I see a sliver of vulnerability when I take a step toward her. “I... need...” Her eyes close.
“Need me to do what?” God knows I’ll give her anything she asks for.
A soft sigh escapes her lips and when she looks up at me, the vulnerability is gone. “Just stop treating me like a child.”
Anything but that. Because if I start treating her as the woman I know she is, I won’t be able to stop myself from taking what I want.
“I’m looking out for you.”
“Why?” I hear her frustration in that one word.
“Because I care about you, Kiley. You’re family.”
She glares up at me. “You’re not my brother.”
When she starts to move away from me, I place my palm on the wall, stopping her, then lean closer, my other hand cupping the back of her head. “You’re right. I’m not.”
Maybe it’s the adrenaline still pumping through my veins from seeing that asshole’s hands on her. Or the thought that something could have happened to her. But I’m sick of ignoring the aching need to touch her. To kiss her.
Avoiding this pull between us is becoming more than just torture, it’s becoming impossible. But still, I’m fighting it. Or at least my heart and brain are. My body seems to have a mind of its own. Especially when she leans into my touch, eyes fluttering closed, lips parting on a little whimper.
“Kiley,” I groan. If I don’t step away right now, I know I’m going to do something I’ll regret.
“What?” There’s a dare in her eyes, a challenge.
Step back, my brain warns.
Her tongue darts over her bottom lip, and every muscle in my body tightens dangerously.
“I promised myself I wouldn’t touch you.”
Her fingers are curled around my shirt and her mouth is close enough to mine I can feel the warmth of her breath on my lips. “Why?”
“Hell if I can remember,” I growl out, my self-control completely disintegrated.
I’m losing myself in her, and there’s not a damn thing I can do to stop it.
I crush my mouth against hers, my tongue slipping over her lips. She whimpers and I groan and the whole fucking world explodes around me. With a greedy hunger, I kiss her hard, lifting her so that her legs are straddled around my waist, my cock aching to be released from the confines of my jeans, desperate to sink inside her, to claim her.
It’s a primal need. One that I can’t make sense of. I just know there’s no stopping now.
Until a series of loud bangs interrupt us.
Pax starts barking and running toward the door, and I draw back, trying to catch my breath.
Kiley’s cheeks are flushed, eyes wide as she stares up at me stunned.
I feel the same way.
Like I’ve been ripped apart somehow.
But slowly, my senses return. And along with them, that nagging voice in my head warning me this is wrong.
The knocking continues.
I have to clear my throat for words to come out. “You expecting someone?”
She shakes her head, and I slowly put her down. I can see the confusion in her eyes when I take a step back.
“Blake—”
“You should see who it is,” I say roughly. Fuck. What the hell did I just do?
Without a word, she walks past me. When she answers the door, Tyler Slade stands there, his typical cocky smile stretching across his face. When his eyes trail up and down her body, I’m seconds away from wrapping my fingers around his throat.
He whistles. “Shit, Kiley. Even in sweats, you’re smoking.”
And I remember why I hate living in this damn building.
Since it’s the closest luxury apartment to the arena, half the damn team live here. I thought about moving a couple years back, getting something a little bigger, maybe with a yard for the dogs to run around in. But then Kane set up Kiley across the hall from me. And with guys like Tyler lurking around her, there’s no chance in hell I’m moving anytime soon.
Pax nudges his snout hard between Tyler’s legs, and I smirk when I see him wince.
Good boy.
“Didn’t know you got a dog,” he says, pushing Pax’s head away, his voice higher than it was before.
“What do you want, Slade?” I ask, coming up behind Kiley, resting a hand on the doorframe, my chest against her back. Her whole body quivers at the slight touch.
Tyler jerks his gaze to me, and I see the disappointment in his eyes. “Ah, shit. Didn’t realize you two were a thing—”
“We’re not,” I say, regretting the words the moment they’re out of my mouth, because I feel Kiley flinch against me.
But I don’t need any rumors starting. Or Kane breathing down my neck. Especially when I’m not sure what the hell I’m going to do yet.
“Right.” Tyler rolls his eyes. “Don’t worry, your secret’s safe with me.”
“There’s no secret,” I say, a warning in my tone.
“Do you need something, Tyler?” Kiley asks softly.
“Um, yeah...” He rubs the back of his neck before making up a shitty excuse for dropping by. “Wondered if you have any creamer. I ran out.”
“Sure. I think I have some.” Kiley ducks under my arm, heading to the refrigerator.
“There’s an open supermarket one block away.” I glare at the kid, knowing exactly what he was hoping to get by coming here.
He smirks and says low enough that only I can hear, “Yeah. I know. But Kiley’s cream tastes so much better.”
I take a step forward, ready to throttle him, but Kiley is back, and she moves between us handing a now chuckling Tyler the container.
“There’s not much left,” she says.
“That’s okay. I only wanted a taste.” He winks at her, then smirks at me before turning and heading toward the elevators.
“Little shit,” I mutter, rubbing the back of my neck when Kiley shuts the door.
She turns and looks up at me, frowning. “Tyler’s harmless.”
I grunt. “You know why he came here, right? He wants to sleep with you.”
“So?” S
he walks away from me, headed toward the living room and I follow her. “You made it clear to him that there’s nothing between us. I can sleep with whoever I—”
I twist her toward me, cupping her face. “Don’t play games.”
“I’m not the one playing games.” Those blue eyes search mine boldly. I see the unspoken questions there. The need. The hope.
I press my forehead against hers and sigh. “This... it’s just... complicated.”
“You mean I’m complicated.”
I drag my thumb across her jaw, then over her bottom lip. “Yeah, darling. You are. But so am I.” More than she knows. I’m not the fucking hero everyone thinks I am. And I’m sure as hell not the kind of man who believes in happily ever afters and all that love bullshit. There was a time when I’d thought all that fairy tale shit was real. But then I had my heart carved out and served to me on a silver platter of betrayal.
“What?” Kiley raises a brow, and says teasingly, “Blake Starowics isn’t as perfect as everyone thinks?”
I grunt. “Far from it.”
She gives a small shrug, palms flattening on my chest. “It doesn’t mean we can’t have sex. Kane doesn’t have to know. No strings attached.” There’s a dare in her eyes, and I’m not sure if she’s trying to tempt me or push me away. I don't think she knows herself. “Friends with benefits. Booty call. Whatever you want to call it.”
I lean closer, accepting the dare. “You don’t know me very well if you think I’d ever be satisfied with just that. If we do this, I’d want everything. Are you ready for that, Kiley? To open up completely? To let me see you?”
To give yourself to a man who will only ever be able to give you half of himself? I don’t say those last words out loud, but the reality of it hits me. We’re both too damaged.
She trembles under my hard, searching gaze. But for every brick that comes down, I swear two more rise up.
“I...” Her gaze drops to the floor.
“Yeah. That’s what I thought.” A sad smile tugs at my lips and I step back. My feet feel like lead every step I take away from her, but I know I need to put some distance between us before I start thinking with my cock again.
Second Goal Page 2
