Bill and the Sting of Death

by Gary McPherson

  Bill’s face got warmer, and he stammered, “I was looking at the filing cabinet.”

  Carol stood up. “Uh-huh. Just so you know, that’s a hard no.”

  Bill asked, “Are you always this blunt with your new bosses?”

  Carol smiled, “Only the cute ones. Now come over to your desk, and let’s get you logged into the system.”

  The office faded, another pain shot across his chest.

  He sat with Lori at Capital Grille for lunch. They gazed into one another’s eyes. Bill reached over and held her hand while he ran his thumb gently across her skin. Lori shivered and pulled her hand back.

  “We need to slow down.”

  Bill smiled, “So, you feel it too?”

  Lori cocked her head, “Feel what?”

  Bill’s grin spread across his face. “The electricity between us, but it’s more than that. It feels like you’ve been beside me my whole life. It’s like we’ve always known each other, but there’s an unseen excitement that you can physically feel.”

  Lori leaned back in her chair. “You know, Carol says she thinks you’re using the office to find a girlfriend.”

  Bill’s face felt warm, and then he scowled. “I’m not using our office to pick up women. I normally don’t date coworkers.”

  Lori answered, “I’m a little more than a coworker. I’m your employee. If we get caught fraternizing, we could both be fired. Maybe you can afford that to happen, Mr. Hot Shot Wall Street, but I came to this job directly from my MBA at Queens. If I lose my first job sleeping with my boss, my career is ruined before it’s started.”

  Bill leaned forward, “Listen to me. I won’t let it happen. Besides, I’m not the kind of boss to show favoritism to someone just because we’re close.”

  Lori answered, “And I’m not the type of woman to go out on a date with her boss, but here we are.”

  Bill asked, “So, what are you saying?”

  Lori responded, “I’m saying, let’s slow down. If things look serious, we’ll have some hard decisions to make.”

  Bill nodded silently.

  His stomach cramped, and the restaurant disappeared.

  He stood in his Condo in uptown, looking out over the city lights.

  From behind, Lori’s voice sounded like an angelic chorus in his ears, “This looks familiar.”

  Bill answered, “Let’s hope the phone doesn’t ring.”

  Lori’s arms slipped around Bill’s waist, and a shiver of pleasure and desire shot through his body.

  Lori whispered in his ear, “Oh, is that a tremble of expectation?”

  Bill giggled before he could stop himself. He felt Lori’s fingers loosening his belt, and she blew in his ear.

  Bill’s body trembled again.

  Lori took his hand and led him towards the bedroom. The door shut, and the room turned dark.

  Something pressed against Bill’s chest.

  Lori paced around Bill’s apartment, “I’m late. Do you know what that means?”

  Bill answered sheepishly, “You’re always late.”

  Lori picked up a pillow and threw it at him. “This isn’t funny.”

  Bill smiled, “I think it’s great news.”

  Lori stopped and waved her arms, “Great news! Are you crazy? Maybe I can end it without anyone finding out.”

  Bill leaped to his feet and wrapped his arms around her. “Don’t you dare say that. I’d rather die first. That’s our baby. Our family.”

  Lori wiggled loose from his embrace. “Don’t you dare say that. I’m not some baby momma.”

  Bill shook his head, “That’s not what I mean. Don’t you see? I want to marry you.”

  Lori rolled her eyes, “Oh, so now you propose after you knock me up? That’s some game.”

  Bill dropped to his knees, “Does this help?”

  Lori crossed her arms, “Where’s the ring, big boy. Don’t have one, huh? Funny, you want to be a family so badly you didn’t already have a ring before you got me pregnant.”

  Bill flopped down on the couch and exhaled in frustration. “I was planning on it. I just wasn’t planning on you getting pregnant first.”

  Lori sat down next to him, “Well, that makes two of us. I told you we should take things slow.”

  Bill answered, “I thought we were, and we were careful.”

  Lori responded, “Not careful enough.”

  Bill grunted, and pain pierced his lower back. The apartment faded.

  He now found himself on his knee at the beach. Tears trailed down Lori’s cheeks, and she nodded vigorously. Then she faded from view. Light filled his vision and took the shape of a middle eastern man. His dark eyes glowed. Light surrounded his body, and any shadows disappeared.

  The voice was warm, loving, comforting. “Bill, my child of many questions. Do you still doubt me?”

  Bill gasped and could not stop his smile. Joy and peace filled his soul and the space around him.

  The man continued, “I am the Father to the fatherless, a comforter and protector to those who are oppressed. My grace is from everlasting to everlasting.”

  Bill fell to the ground. He stammered, “Please, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you were there.”

  The man’s voice filled the air. “Didn’t know? Who have you been speaking to? Who did you ask into your heart that night in the chapel?”

  Bill pleaded, “I wasn’t sure. It seemed like nothing changed. I didn’t know what to think.”

  A hand lifted Bill’s chin. The bearded man’s eyes glowed with flames behind them. “Stand.”

  Bill stood.

  The man continued, “I adopted you as my son. I paid for you with my blood. Would a father reject his son? Am I a man?”

  Bill dove into his arms and his entire being seemed to vibrate. Bill stumbled back one step.

  Two shadows appeared and then came into view. Bill gasped when he saw Lori and himself walking beside her.

  Lori smiled and said, “It’s okay, you can touch me.”

  Bill grabbed hold of her and buried his face in her hair and neck. She seemed younger and smelled like a field of flowers and a tropical paradise all at once.

  Lori whispered in his ear, “You have to let go, honey. I have someone to show you.”

  Bill stepped back.

  Lori pointed to the young man, “This is our son.”

  Bill’s forehead crinkled, “I don’t understand.”

  The man put out his hand, “I’m your son.”

  Bill stood there confused and then said, “But you were killed.”

  He and Lori nodded.

  “Oh,” said Bill. “What’s your name?”

  Lori answered, “His name is Tom.”

  Bill asked, “Why?”

  “You’ll understand one day. Come with us.”

  Bill held Lori’s hand. The electricity between them was even more intense than he remembered. They strolled from the bright light onto an unfamiliar brown hill. Before the three of them stretched out the ocean. A terraced concrete patio came into view with an Infiniti pool looking out over the sea at its lowest point.

  Lori said, “Watch.”

  A beautiful African American girl with thick flowing black hair came skipping out the back of the house and was making her way down to the pool. A tan little boy was floating on his back and splashing the water with his feet. The girl stopped in front of a man. Bill’s mouth dropped open at the sight of himself.

  The girl whispered, “Watch this, Daddy.”

  She pranced to the edge of the pool, hollered, “Cannonball,” and landed next to the boy. The ensuing chaos left the boy coughing and the girl giggling.

  Harold’s voice sounded from behind them, “That’s what you get, young man, for not paying attention.”

  Harold carried two beers and took one down Bill.

  Bill said, “Lori, I don’t want to see you do that to your cousin again. Coughing up water isn’t fun.”

  Harold bumped Bill’s shoulder, “You would know.”

/>   Lori whispered in his ear, “Time to go.”

  Bill said, “No, I don’t understand.”

  Tom said, “You have a purpose.”

  Bill responded, “What? A pool party?”

  Lori grabbed his face and turned him back to the scene. Darla and Carol came out the back door, and both looked very pregnant.

  Carol hollered, “You boys planning on making us lunch? It’s just like you two. All you want to do is sit around, drink beer, and keep the women knocked up.”

  Harold responded, “There are worse ways to live.”

  Darla answered, “Keep it up, funny man, and you’ll be watching our kids while I take a six-month assignment in Russia.”

  Harold hollered, “Sorry,” and he and Bill snickered.

  Lori turned Bill’s face back to her. “Don’t you see, you have a family to raise. A future to build. God has a purpose for you and your family.”

  Bill looked deep into Lori’s glistening black eyes, “But I love you. I can’t raise a family with Carol.”

  Lori answered, “I’m dead, honey. We can’t be together. I’ve moved on, and now you have to as well. Go and live the life God has given you.”

  A jolt of electricity hit his body, and he doubled over. Light filled his vision, and the warm, familiar voice rumbled, “All of my creation was made for my glory. The very rocks cry out my praise. Nothing you do is without my purpose. I am He who watches over the orphan and the fatherless. Go, be blessed, and bless others. Be forgiven and forgive others. Point those around you to my love and grace. As you have received, so give. Now, live.”

  Bill’s whole body convulsed. His back hurt, his sides hurt, his chest hurt.

  He could hear Carol, “Don’t’ you leave me.”

  Garcia pleaded, “You must live. Please don’t die.”

  The light disappeared, and he could see shapes through his blurry eyes. Another massive cramp and water came pouring out of his mouth. Bill finally caught his breath and then expelled more of the putrid water until he was sure he would die anyway. A third wave hit, and by the fourth, Bill dry heaved and rolled over on the wet deck.

  He wiped his eyes and blinked. Carol, Joshua, Harold, Garcia, and Maria hovered over him.

  Joshua took a light and checked Bill’s eyes. He said, “I wasn’t sure you were coming back to us.”

  Bill sat up and answered, “I wasn’t given a choice.”

  Carol’s arms wrapped around Bill’s shoulders, “Are you alright?”

  He answered, “I am now.”

  Garcia said, “Okay, this is an evacuation. You’ll take the Kodiak to the destroyer that’s coming in closer from our right.”

  Harold looked up, “You can’t let her sink.”

  Garcia answered, “Relax. We have another ship on its way to tow her back. Darla and Frank got the pumps working when you were saving your brother below. It can’t keep the water out, but they should keep up once the ship is moving.”

  Harold argued, “I want to stay with the ship.”

  Garcia shook his head. “No doing. This is a CIA matter now. I have one dead fugitive in the hull and three more here, including Hunter.”

  Bill looked over and saw an old man with gray and red hair lying in his own blood and two others dead beside him.

  Garcia continued, “You’ll get it back when we’re done with it. Trust me, you’ll be glad we took it.”

  Harold said, “Fine, I’ll stay with Bill.”

  Bill nodded, and Carol sat closer to him.

  Garcia pointed to the ladder, “Alright, everyone on board. Bill, a doctor will check you out once you’re on the ship. All of you will be taken back to the island. Stay there until we wrap things up and tell you it’s safe.”

  Carol and Harold helped Bill to his feet. Harold half carried him to the Kodiak for the bumpy ride to the approaching ship.

  Chapter 30

  The white wooden rocker creaked under Bill. The large, covered porch brought back memories of the administrator’s historic brick home in North Carolina. Joshua sat silently next to Bill, just like when he was a child. The two men stared blankly across the compound towards the empty bungalows. The sound of the ocean breeze and local birds was all that could be heard.

  Bill reached over and took a drink from his sweet tea. The terror of his battle with Chuck just two days earlier seemed a distant memory. A heron flew across the Bungalow roofs and disappeared into the overgrowth behind the buildings.

  Joshua said, “I’ve learned with Harold that dreams and visions are not always what they seem. You had a near-death experience, and the brain and spirit are still a mystery to science in many ways.”

  Bill looked over at the doctor. “According to Carol, I wasn’t near death. I was dead.”

  Joshua nodded, “Yes, well, as I said, much of this is still a mystery. Your heart wasn’t beating from a medical perspective, and you stopped breathing for a few minutes. However, some theories believe the body can go a certain amount of time in that condition and still revive, so there is some debate over when death actually happens.”

  Bill asked, “So, what? Are you saying my vision of God, Lori, and my son were tricks of my mind?”

  Joshua answered, “I’m saying as a doctor I don’t know.”

  Bill stared up into the clear blue sky and squinted. He asked, “What about not as a doctor?”

  Joshua cleared his throat. “Well, as your brother in Christ, I would say God has given you a wonderful gift. There aren’t too many people He reaches out to so directly, or allows to see loved ones after they have passed.”

  “So, you think I did see something?” asked Bill.

  Joshua responded, “I think you’re the only one who can answer that question. What does your spirit tell you? Down in your gut, what do you think?”

  Bill looked down at the ground, and his lips curled up. He answered, “God said I was his child of many questions. I guess even when I get the answers, I have a hard time accepting them without more questions.”

  Joshua said, “Well, I suppose you have to ask yourself this question. Are your questions more important than the answers you were given?”

  Bill sat back and stared into Joshua’s peaceful eyes. He answered, “That’s a good question.”

  The two men sat quietly and slowly finished their drinks. Bill heard a door close on his left and saw Carol coming down from her bungalow next to his. She had on a yellow bikini with a white wrap. Bill could not take his eyes off her until she was standing in front of him.

  Carol smiled and said, “You know, you can blink now.”

  Bill’s eyes fluttered, and his face felt flush. “Sorry, I was thinking about something.”

  “Obviously,” responded Carol.

  Joshua asked, “Are you headed to the pool?”

  Carol nodded, “I’m going to live the good life and hang out with the girls. You boys aren’t invited.”

  Joshua answered, “This sounds like trouble.”

  Carol started to walk towards the main house, looked over her shoulder, and said, “I’ll let Maria know you said that.”

  Joshua looked over at Bill and quietly said, “Now I am in trouble.”

  Bill laughed and stood up. “If you’ll excuse me, I think I’d like to go for a walk alone. I want to hide before your wife shows up.”

  Joshua looked up. “Coward.”

  “You know it.”

  The two men laughed as Bill headed towards the familiar trail he had found when he first came to the island. There was a peacefulness to the place now that the Franks had left. Maria made sure food was available, and it was everyone for themselves when it came to cleaning. Harold promised staff would arrive in a couple of days to handle the maintenance.

  Bill made his way down the path towards the beach. He stopped halfway and listened. There were no sounds of footsteps, an engine starting up, wheels on the crushed shelled road, or distant voice on the breeze. A momentary change in the wind direction brought the sound of women laughing, an
d Bill wondered if Carol was joking about Joshua and him. Rustling in the bushes nearby made Bill jump, and he continued his journey at a brisk pace.

  He arrived at the empty beach and looked at Harold’s favorite rock. Climbing up on top, he noticed the great view of the clear water. Small barracuda, blackjack, and others swam in the shallows to avoid larger predators. A short distance out, dark grasses covered the deeper bottom, and Bill wondered if he would be fortunate enough to see a manatee.

  He was tempted for a moment to wade into the shallows. Then scowled and pull his knees up to his chest.

  Bill looked up towards the sky and said, “I don’t know what to think. Everything I have asked you answered. Or at least it seems like you did. Did you really let me see Lori and my son? Am I going to have a family with Carol?”

  “What about me?” Harold’s voice caused Bill to release his knees and almost fall off the rock.

  “When did you walk up?”

  Harold continued his way over to Bill, “When you started praying.”

  Bill’s forehead furrowed, “I wanted to be alone.”

  Harold slapped Bill on the back, “Yea, that’s what Doc said. I figured I’d find you here. I need a fishing buddy.”

  Bill answered, “Some other time. I have some things to think about.”

  “Some of my best thinking has been done on that fishing boat. Well, maybe not my best thinking.”

  “What does that mean?” asked Bill.

  “It’s a long story. Look, you and Doc like to sit around and think alone too much. Sometimes it helps to bounce your thoughts of someone you can trust. You can’t trust anyone more than your own brother, especially after I saved your life.”

  Bill nodded, “Where are the poles?”

  “On the boat.”

  Bill started to slip off the rock but stopped and scowled, “I don’t know. I’ve had enough of boats and water for a lifetime, thanks.”

  Harold shook his head, “Oh, no, you haven’t. My dad taught me a valuable lesson when I was a kid. He used to take me camping out in the Mojave. We would hike, have campfires, the whole bit. Anyway, when I was big enough, he taught me to ride a motorcycle. The first day I soloed, I crashed and bruised my shin. I wanted nothing to do with that motorbike.

  “Dad told me that if a horse throws you off, you have to get back on, or you’ll be afraid of horses the rest of your life. I didn’t understand what he meant at first. He said allowing external things to control me would cause me to live in fear and never reach my potential.”