One Beastly Beast

by Garth Nix

‘When?’ demanded Bill. ‘When did you lose your baby?’

  ‘Space travel does funny things to your sense of time,’ replied the woman. ‘But it was certainly far too long ago. We’ve missed him dreadfully. Let me check.’

  She pulled a diary out of her bag and started looking through it. The man reached into his pocket and pulled out a complex electronic device with a panel of lights and buttons.

  ‘Oh dear, it’s been even longer than we thought,’ said the man. ‘My computi-mem-ometer says it was more than eight years ago!’

  ‘So does my diary,’ exclaimed the woman in surprise. ‘This is terrible! We got back as fast as we could! Now we’ll have to invent a special machine to track him down.’

  ‘No you won’t,’ said Bill, who knew just who these people had to be. They were obviously inventors and his long-lost parents!

  ‘You mean…’ said the parents, both at the same time, ‘you’re our long-lost boy and we’re your mum and dad?’

  ‘Yep. I’m Bill the Inventor,’ said Bill. ‘But you got lost, not me. I was always here. Now, before we go I want to get one thing straight. I like to invent every day between the hours of ten and three, and sometimes in the middle of the night. Is that going to be OK?’

  ‘Only between the hours of ten and three?’ asked Dad. ‘Take all the time you want.’

  ‘We’ll have to extend the laboratory,’ said Mum. ‘There’s not room enough for three. Perhaps you’d like to draw a plan and we can go shopping for some things?’

  ‘OK,’ said Bill. ‘But first you have to talk to Mrs O’Squealin and sign an awful lot of papers.’

  ‘It’s not as easy as that,’ protested Mrs O’Squealin, who’d seen Bill’s parents arrive and had come out to see what was going on. ‘We can’t let just anyone adopt our children here. There are procedures to follow and forms to fill out, and then the thirty day trial.’

  ‘That’s for people who’ve come to adopt,’ said Bill. ‘These are my real parents. They’re inventors and they’ve come to take me home.’

  ‘Not without the proper forms,’ said Mrs O’Squealin, who really did care about the children she looked after even if she didn’t understand that an inventor simply couldn’t become a pirate, a wizard or an alien.

  ‘We do have his birth certificate,’ said Bill’s mother, pulling a large and official-looking document out of her wheely bag. It had several fancy stamps on it and two smudgy footprints, made when Bill was born.

  ‘That could be anyone’s birth certificate,’ declared Mrs O’Squealin.

  ‘Take off your shoes, Bill,’ said Bill’s dad, pulling out a fancy device with an eyehole at one end and something like a camera on the other. ‘My compa-pola-rometer will show this lady that your footprints match the ones on your birth certificate. They’re like fingerprints. Everyone has a different pattern.’

  Bill sat down and quickly pulled off his shoes. His dad pointed the compa-pola-rometer at his feet and then at the footprints on the form. The machine hummed away for a moment, then a green light came on and it played a little tune, while a tinny voice inside said, ‘It’s a perfect match!’

  ‘Well, I guess you must be Bill’s parents,’ agreed Mrs O’Squealin, looking at the compa-pola-rometer and then at the man and woman who were so obviously inventors. ‘Now I look at you I see there is a family resemblance. But you left Bill alone for eight years! He might want to stay here.’

  ‘No way,’ said Bill, taking his mum and dad by the hand. ‘I’m an inventor, not an orphan.’

  Serena

  and the

  Sea Serpent

  Chapter One

  Serena Smith was the youngest of the seventeen children of Sam and Susan Smith. She had sixteen older sisters, which made people feel sorry for her. But only the people who didn’t know her.

  The people who knew Serena were sorry for the sisters, because Serena was the smartest, most know-it-all girl in the Smith family. She was the smartest girl in the town of Blubber Point. She was possibly the smartest girl in the whole of Australia or even the world.

  Serena didn’t mean to be such a terrible know-it-all. It was just that when she was a very small baby, her father used to take her into his secret laboratory, where he was inventing the most advanced computer of all time: the SuperMind.

  One day, while baby Serena was playing with the computer’s mouse, lightning struck the laboratory. At the same moment, the SuperMind finished thinking about the contents of fifty-seven encyclopaedias in twelve different languages.

  After the lightning hit, there was nothing left of the SuperMind computer, but everything it had been thinking about had somehow transferred into Serena’s brain. Since the SuperMind had taught Serena everything, her parents and sisters spent the next seven years trying to teach her to keep all this knowledge to herself.

  They tried and tried to explain to Serena that people didn’t always like being told how to do things better. Sometimes people liked to work out things for themselves.

  By the time Serena was eight, she knew when not to tell people how to do things. Most of the time.

  So she kept her mighty brain tuned by telling her sisters what to do and stayed out of strangers’ business. Most of the time.

  But every now and then something came up that was so interesting that Serena had to interfere. Like the time when a sea serpent started wrecking ships from Blubber Point. So many boats and ships were damaged, always at night, that the mayor called a meeting.

  Serena went along to see what she could do.

  Chapter Two

  The town meeting was held on the beach, with everyone sitting on deck chairs, looking out to sea. The mayor stood with her trousers rolled up, on the edge of the surf.

  At first there was a lot of talk, about guns and torpedoes and harpoons and strange serpent-hunters who had eyes of different colours and spent hours carving shapes out of whalebone. Shouting above the surf, the mayor told them all to be quiet.

  ‘That’s all been tried in other parts,’ declared the mayor. ‘And it didn’t work. We must give the sea serpent a child. They’ve done it at Seaview, Port Picky, Mermouth and Jinn. All the towns have done it, because it’s the only thing that sends the serpent on its way. Somebody will have to give up one of their children. Hands up if you’ve got one spare.’

  No one put their hand up. They didn’t want to give up one of their children! The sea serpent would eat it, for sure. At least, none of the other children had ever been seen again in Seaview, Port Picky, Mermouth or Jinn.

  Then Serena climbed up on the shoulders of a man who was asleep in his chair and called out, ‘I’ll go and see this sea serpent. I bet no one’s tried just talking to it. Maybe I can sort something out.’

  ‘Serena Smith, I believe,’ said the mayor, smiling so much that the two gold teeth at the sides of her mouth shone in the sun. Last year, Serena had told the mayor how to do her job better. ‘We accept.’

  Chapter Three

  So Serena Smith was put in a rowing boat, and the mayor and two muscly rowers took her out to a small rock in the middle of the sea. They put Serena on the rock and handed over a torch and a ham sandwich wrapped in plastic.

  ‘When night falls, shine the torch out to sea,’ said the mayor. ‘That will attract the sea serpent. The sandwich is for you, in case the serpent’s late.’

  Then she laughed nastily and they rowed away, leaving Serena all alone on the tiny rock, where every seventh wave washed across her feet. Serena wasn’t bothered by that. She could swim five kilometres backstroke and read a book at the same time. Besides, she knew the tide was falling.

  Soon the sea was much lower and the sun was setting in the west, casting a red light across the water. Serena turned on her torch and shone it into the night. By her calculations, the sea serpent would be there within the hour. It always sank ships shortly after sunset.

  Sure enough, the sun had hardly set before Serena saw two enormous eyes coming through the dark of the sea, coming straight for
her. Behind the eyes she could see a huge bendy body of shiny scales and she knew it must be the sea serpent!

  A second later, the sea serpent ran into the rock with a terrible crash and a horrible howl that nearly deafened Serena. If she’d been on a ship it would have sunk instantly, but the rock was stronger than the serpent.

  The huge monster backed off and then ran into the rock again, its enormous eyes glowing in the light of Serena’s torch.

  Chapter Four

  Serena’s mighty brain worked quickly. Seeing the serpent thrash about blindly, she quickly turned off her torch and called out into the darkness.

  ‘Sorry, Mr or Mrs Serpent! I didn’t mean to scare you!’

  The serpent eyed her suspiciously. Even with the light turned off, the moonlight showed Serena that the monster was as long as ten buses and it had a mouth the size of a rubbish truck’s cruncher. It didn’t seem at all happy to see Serena on the rock.

  ‘They haven’t left you for me, have they?’ it boomed.

  ‘Yes,’ said Serena. ‘I think you’re supposed to eat me and stop terrorising all the boats from Blubber Point.’

  ‘Yuck!’ spat the serpent. ‘I’m a vegetarian. I wish you people would stop giving me little girls to eat. And I wish you’d stop putting such bright lights all over the place. They blind me and I get a headache. I’m a night creature, you know.’

  ‘Does that mean you’re not going to eat me?’ asked Serena.

  ‘Definitely not,’ said the serpent. ‘I suppose I’ll have to take you back to Serpent Island and put you with the others.’

  ‘The other girls?’ asked Serena, who’d been thinking very quickly. ‘Why not just take me back to the beach? I can sort things out for you. About the lights and the girls who keep being put on rocks for you.’

  ‘No,’ said the serpent grumpily. ‘I’m too big. I can only swim in very deep water. You’ll have to come with me to Serpent Island.’

  ‘No thanks,’ said Serena. ‘I’ll just swim home.’

  The serpent shook its huge head. ‘Too many sharks. You’d be eaten for sure. I’ll have to take you to the island. Another mouth to feed and I’ve hardly got any weed harvested tonight. Here, climb aboard my head.’

  It laid its head down close to the rock till it was nearly all underwater with only the flat part between its stubby horns showing. Serena looked at it and wondered whether it was telling the truth about the sharks.

  Then she decided that she really should go and see what had happened to the other girls, so she jumped across and landed on the serpent’s head.

  Chapter Five

  Serpent Island was a very tall rock that stuck out of the sea like a needle. By the time Serena got there the moon was high in the night sky, so she could see quite clearly.

  But there was no sign of the other girls.

  ‘Where is everyone?’ she asked. It looked a bit suspicious. Maybe the serpent was going to eat her after all.

  ‘Probably underwater,’ said the sea serpent grumpily. ‘Eating all the weed I saved for my dinner.’

  ‘Underwater!’ exclaimed Serena. ‘But they’ll drown!’

  ‘No they won’t,’ said the serpent. It rested its head against the rock so Serena could scramble off, on to a narrow ledge that went all the way around the island. ‘I’ve turned them into penguimaids.’

  ‘Penguimaids?’ asked Serena. She’d never heard that word before, even with all the fifty-seven encyclopaedias in her head. ‘What are they?’

  ‘Girls who turn into penguins when they touch the sea,’ explained the serpent. ‘It’s a spell I learned from a nixie many years ago. You see, I couldn’t take the girls back so I had to do something. At least when they’re penguimaids they can live out here. Though they have to eat my special seaweed or the spell wears off.’

  Serena nodded wisely. She knew that a nixie (also known as a nicker, nisse or nix) was a sort of water fairy.

  And since the serpent couldn’t return the girls, it made sense to help them live out here, at least for the time being. But it would be much better if they could be returned home. And something had to be done to stop the serpent running into ships at night.

  ‘I’ll have to go even further north now,’ complained the serpent. ‘Blubber Point will just put out another girl if I go back there, and there’s twenty-five of them eating me out of seaweed already. But first I need to turn you into a penguimaid.’

  ‘You did say this spell wears off if I don’t eat the special seaweed?’ asked Serena cautiously.

  ‘Yes,’ said the serpent. ‘And if you get far enough from the sea, you’ll turn back into a girl. Not that any of them here seem to want to change back. I think they like being penguins.’

  ‘Nonsense,’ said Serena. ‘I’m sure I’ll want to change back. Now get on with the spell. I think that once I’m a penguin I might be able to help you.’

  Chapter Six

  But once Serena was a penguimaid, she didn’t want to change back.

  It was so much fun zooming around after shoals of bright silver fish, sucking them into her fat black and white stomach and following them up with a nice salad of seaweed from the serpent’s pantry at the bottom of the sea.

  The other penguimaids were nice too, though being penguins they couldn’t talk.

  But they all played underwater games together, like follow-the-leader, zipping up and down and around in circles and spirals and doing backward somersaults and complicated twists.

  This went on for days and days, and Serena might have stayed a penguimaid forever – until one afternoon she fell asleep on a rock in the sun and the tide went out, and she became completely dry for the first time since the serpent had cast the spell.

  When she woke up, Serena wasn’t a penguin any more, but a human being. She stopped thinking about fish and seaweed and swimming races, and her mighty brain sprang back into action. It was fun being a penguimaid, but it wasn’t really what she wanted to do with her life.

  To give herself more time in human shape, Serena climbed higher up the rock, trying to get as far away from the sea as she could. Even a little touch of spray would change her back into a penguin.

  By the time the sun set, Serena was high up on the rock. But the tide was still rising, so she knew she only had a few minutes to put a plan into action.

  ‘Sea serpent!’ called out Serena. ‘Oh, sea serpent!’

  Chapter Seven

  During the day, the sea serpent slept in an underwater cave under the rocky island. But he was already awake and swimming out when he heard Serena calling, and soon his huge scaly head rose up out of the water and kept on rising and rising until it was level with Serena.

  ‘What do you want?’ the serpent asked grumpily. He was always grumpy when he’d just woken up.

  ‘I’ve thought of a way for you to avoid the ships at night,’ said Serena. ‘But you have to take me back as close to Blubber Point as you can, so I can swim in and organise some help for you and the girls.’

  ‘It’s no good,’ said the serpent gloomily. ‘You’ll turn into a penguin as soon as a drop of seawater touches you, and then you won’t remember where to go or why you want to.’

  ‘Yes, I will,’ said Serena. ‘I’ll hypnotise myself before I turn into a penguin.’

  ‘Hypnotise? What’s that?’ asked the serpent.

  ‘It’s a special way of making someone’s mind do things without them thinking about them,’ explained Serena. ‘I know all about it.’

  ‘Well, I suppose it’s worth a try,’ sighed the serpent. ‘I had to go five hundred kilometres last night to get enough weed for myself and you girls. All the way to Stinky Bay. And I ran into a ship, so there’ll probably be another girl to collect tonight.

  ‘It’s not Stinky Bay any more,’ said Serena absently. She couldn’t help herself being right. ‘They changed the name to Tropicopacabanos.’

  ‘It still stinks,’ said the sea serpent. ‘Can I watch you do this hypnotism thing?’

  It only to
ok a few minutes for Serena to hypnotise herself. She took off the charm bracelet she wore around her wrist and swung it back and forth in front of her eyes, muttering a special chant she’d learned from one of the encyclopaedias. Then she said over and over again:

  Swim, Serena, swim to shore

  Then go to the place you knew before

  Number 77 Mullet Street

  Where you’ll find some fish to eat

  After eating, find a nice bed

  And lay down your sleepy head

  After a hundred times, even the sea serpent felt like going to 77 Mullet Street. Then, just as Serena was going to repeat it for the hundred and first time, a big wave sent a plume of spray high up on to the island.

  In an instant, Serena was a penguin again. She started to waddle down towards the sea, but the serpent was too quick. His huge jaws opened and a great green tongue came out and wrapped around Serena, pulling her back into the monster’s mouth!

  Chapter Eight

  For a moment it looked like the sea serpent was going to swallow Serena whole, but he didn’t. He just kept her firmly wrapped up in his tongue and started to swim towards the distant land.

  The other penguimaids watched him go, but they didn’t really understand what was happening. It was getting dark, and they were settling down to sleep in the little caves and hollows in the rock, just above sea level.

  ‘Aaaaahhhhhh!’ said the serpent as he rippled through the water. It was very difficult swimming with his mouth open, but it was the only way to hang on to Serena and it was a long way to Blubber Point. the serpent wasn’t sure if Serena’s hypnotism would work, but he wanted to get her as close to the beach as possible.