Dexter: Honorable Cowboy

by Marin Thomas

  You know there can never be anything more between you.

  Ignoring the voice in his head, Dexter stroked Josie’s bare midriff…toyed with the strap of her pink bra…cupped her breasts. He nuzzled her neck, inhaling the erotic scent of her skin. She arched her back, pressing his hands tighter to her breasts. Deep in his heart he believed his feelings for Josie were good, right and permissible. Josie was the one.

  The one for Dusty—not you.

  Bitter jealousy stirred Dexter as he kissed a path down the back of Josie’s neck. He’d stood on the sidelines in high school while his twin had taken what Dexter had wanted for himself—Josie. That he had to step aside a second time was killing him.

  Her hands moved restlessly over his thighs and all thoughts of right or wrong vanished. When the bull dipped forward, her nails bit into his leg muscle to keep her balance. “More, Dex.”

  “Anything you want, babe.” Hands and fingers teased. Zippers, buttons and snaps came undone. Then Josie faced him, straddling his thighs. He kissed her, wanting…no, needing to show her that he was more involved with her than just physically. He stared into her brown eyes, bright with desire—and saw Dusty’s face.

  A cold knot formed in Dexter’s chest. Josie, Dusty and Matt had a chance to be a real family—what right did Dexter have to take that from them? What would his father say about Dexter’s actions today? More important—how could Dexter face Dusty with a clean conscience after making love with Josie?

  Dexter had to put a stop to his insane obsession with Josie. Dusty was family—more than family, he was Dexter’s twin. Dexter wasn’t willing to destroy his relationship with Dusty or his family because he couldn’t control his impulses around Josie.

  With a strength he hadn’t known he possessed, Dexter dived off the bull and landed on the mats. Sucking in deep breaths, he stared at the wood rafters crisscrossing the ceiling. He’d barely gotten himself under control before Josie launched herself on top of him.

  “I want you, Dex.” She nuzzled his chin.

  Josie’s declaration cut him off at the knees, and with concentrated effort he tucked her beneath him and stretched her arms above her head, locking her wrists within his grasp—afraid if he released her he’d cave and give her what she wanted—what both of them wanted. “We can’t do this.”

  “If you’re worried about protection—”

  “No, it’s not that.”

  Undeterred, Josie wiggled loose and coaxed Dexter onto his back, then straddled his waist. The torment in his blue eyes stole her breath. She brushed a strand of sweaty hair off his forehead. “I know you’re attracted to me. I know you want me. So what’s wrong?” When he refused to speak, she threatened, “I’ll kiss you, if you don’t fess up.”

  Instead of words he chose action—moving her off him. He rose from the mats and retreated to the opposite side of the room, leaving the still-gyrating bull between them. His anguished expression tore at her heart. “I thought you wanted this?” Her words sounded cold and stilted in the muggy room.

  Chest heaving, Dexter dropped his gaze to the ground, unwilling to reveal the demons that tormented him. Feeling vulnerable and foolish, Josie buttoned her blouse and straightened her clothing.

  “I do want you, Josie.” Dexter’s guttural confession reached deep inside her and tugged.

  “I don’t understand.”

  “Just let it be.”

  “Don’t I get a say in our relationship?” she asked.

  “We don’t have a relationship.”

  What? Dexter might as well have slapped her, his words stung so deeply. “You’re telling me that our quiet talks in the morning when you train the mustang, our outings with Matt…the fishing…the fair, our kisses…all meant nothing to you?” His silence fed Josie’s ire. “If we don’t have a relationship, then why are you spending so much time with me and Matt?”

  “Someone has to look after you until Dusty returns.”

  Hurt, she lashed out. “Do you always kiss and grope your charges?” Blast it! Dexter made her mad enough to spit.

  He flipped the switch on the wall and the bucking machine’s motor groaned to a halt. Even in her anger, Josie’s attraction to Dexter reared its ugly head. His shirttail stuck out of his jeans and his belt buckle hung askew—the cowboy looked sexy as all get-out and the last thing she wanted to do was leave the room without finishing what they’d started.

  “I accept full blame for letting things get out of hand between us,” Dexter said.

  “Don’t talk like that. I’m a grown woman. If I want to make love to a man, I can. I for darn sure don’t need anyone making excuses for me.”

  The muscle along Dexter’s jaw bunched, spurring Josie across the room. “Don’t,” she said, straightening his belt buckle. “Don’t what?”

  She softened her tone of voice. “Don’t overanalyze what just happened. Let it be.” Because I’m crazy for you. And I want to see where whatever is happening between us leads.

  The sound of footsteps reached their ears.

  “We’d better leave before someone notices how long we’ve been in here,” he said.

  A shiver of unease rippled through her body, and she couldn’t shake the feeling that once they left their secret hideaway, nothing would ever be the same.

  “Hang on a sec.” He undid the top buttons of her blouse, his knuckles brushing against her breasts. Her pulse raced. A change of heart? Then he dashed her hopes. “Your buttons are crooked.”

  “Oh.” Her pounding heart slowed to a dull thump.

  Dexter opened the door and ushered her out. She came face-to-face with Slim. The ranch hand tipped his hat.

  “I was showing Josie the mechanical bull,” Dexter mumbled.

  “Wondered what was making all that ruckus in there.”

  Face flaming, Josie pretended interest in a horse named Candy Cane while Dexter and Slim exchanged a few words.

  “Is Ricky working with the yearlings?” Dexter’s deep voice held a note of warning. If Slim was smart, he wouldn’t utter a word about the noises he’d overheard.

  “Yup. He’s out there now,” Slim said.

  “I’m heading over to the Lazy S to check on the mustang.”

  Josie released a deep breath, relieved that Dexter wasn’t running from her. On the heels of relief came apprehension—did he want to be with her because he felt obligated to? Or because he wanted to? “Josie?”

  She whirled. “What?”

  “Ready?” Dexter’s empty-eyed stare glanced off her face.

  Josie nodded. Side by side they strolled through the barn. The backs of their hands accidentally brushed and she curled her pinkie finger around his. Hope blossomed in her chest when he squeezed back. Everything’s going to be okay.

  “I’ve been looking all over for you, Dex.”

  Dexter skidded to a halt. A cold band of pressure cinched his chest, leaving him speechless.

  Dusty had returned.

  Afraid to look at Josie for fear his brother would guess what they’d been doing only moments ago in the barn, Dexter released Josie’s finger and asked, “When did you get back?”

  “Just now.” Dusty glanced between Josie and Dexter. “Josie.”

  “Hello, Dusty.”

  Frowning, Dusty asked, “Where’s Mom and Dad?”

  “They hopped a flight to Idaho a few hours ago.” Dexter shifted his stance, adding another foot of space between him and Josie.

  “What are you doing here?” Dusty directed the question to Josie. “Matt’s not with you, is he?”

  “He’s not here,” Dexter answered. “I offered to give Josie a tour of the ranch.”

  “You sure that’s all you were up to?” Dusty nodded to Josie.

  Panic gnawed a hole in Dexter’s bravado while guilt slammed into him from all sides. He struggled to make eye contact with his brother. Had Dusty guessed that Dexter had almost made love to Josie? Even if Dusty suspected the two had gotten out of line, Dexter refused to allow his brother to bad
ger Josie. “What are you insinuating?”

  “I’m asking if you invited Josie here to spill the beans to Mom and Dad about Matt.”

  Relieved Dusty hadn’t suspected foul play between him and Josie, Dexter muttered, “That’s low, Dusty. We stood by our promise even though you took your sweet ol’ time coming home.”

  “Sorry.” Dusty whipped off his hat and spun it on the tip of his middle finger. He opened his mouth, then snapped it closed.

  “Spit it out, Dusty,” Dexter said. The sooner this confrontation ended, the safer for all parties involved.

  “Okay. Look. I’ve given this a lot of thought.”

  “Given what thought?” Josie asked.

  “I think the best thing to do in our situation is to get married.”

  Married? Blindsided, Dexter stopped breathing. You believed all along that marriage was the best solution for all parties involved. True, but deep down Dexter had held out hope that his brother would tuck tail and run from doing the right thing.

  Dusty paced—five steps forward, then five steps back—gravel dust billowing around his boot heels. “I’m ready to be a father to Matt.”

  Dexter felt like bellowing.

  “I never doubted that you’d want to be Matt’s father,” Josie said. “But marriage is a little extreme.”

  Josie’s eyes burned a hole into the side of Dexter’s head—might as well have been a bullet, her stare was so painful. His brother’s honest-to-God sincere expression stopped Dexter from coming to Josie’s defense. Shit. For the first time in his life Dusty wanted to put others before himself.

  Just like old times…his brother got the girl. Again.

  Everything inside Dexter wanted to be Matt’s father and Josie’s husband. But Dexter couldn’t live with himself if he stood in Dusty’s way. He’d expect the same loyalty from Dusty if their positions were reversed. There was only one thing left to do. Dexter had to forget his feelings for Josie and his dreams for a future with her.

  “If we don’t marry, people will talk,” Dusty said.

  “You Codys have been the subject of gossip all your lives.” Josie propped her hands on her hips and glared. “Since when have people’s comments ever bothered you?”

  “This doesn’t just affect me. It affects my whole family.” Dusty smacked Dexter’s arm. “Right?”

  “Right.” The word sounded strangled to Dexter’s ears.

  “And I’m saying who cares what others say or think about Dusty being Matt’s father,” Josie said.

  She stared expectantly at Dexter, and it killed him that he couldn’t…no, wouldn’t come to her defense. “Dusty’s right. The gossip might hurt Matt.”

  “See, Josie. Dexter thinks it’s a good idea, too.” Dusty set his hat on his head. “When you and Matt move back to Markton, tongues are gonna wag.”

  “Hold up. I haven’t agreed to move anywhere,” Josie said.

  Dusty frowned. “If we marry, then you’ll have to live here.”

  “No.” She stamped her boot.

  “No, what?” Dusty asked.

  “No, I won’t marry you. No, I won’t leave California and move here.”

  “At least say you’ll consider my proposal.”

  “All right.” Josie straightened her shoulders. “I’ll consider your proposal.”

  What the hell had happened to “No, I won’t marry you”? Dexter glanced at Josie and the stark pain in her eyes cut him like a knife.

  “Fair enough,” Dusty said. “I’d like to tell my folks about Matt when they return from Idaho later tonight.”

  “Tomorrow.” Spinning on her boot heels Josie stomped to her truck. Apparently, she’d had enough of the Cody brothers.

  “I’ll call you later!” Dusty yelled.

  With a wave of her hand Josie acknowledged that she’d heard Dusty.

  A sick feeling attacked Dexter’s gut. He’d told himself over and over these past weeks to keep his distance from Josie, but all he’d gotten for his efforts was an ulcer. He knew there could never be anything between them, yet he’d dreamed they’d had a future. He’d allowed himself to care. To risk his heart again. Damn it, he’d gone and done the unthinkable—he’d fallen in love with Josie.

  Never mind that Josie belonged with Dusty.

  Never mind that Dexter was racked with so much guilt he could barely look his brother in the eye.

  Never mind that he’d put his wants and desires before what was best for his own flesh and blood.

  Dexter had to end this foolish fantasy he’d built up in his head. Dusty was his brother. His twin. His best friend. No matter how he yearned to be with Josie he didn’t dare let her come between him and his twin.

  “Dex, what’s wrong?” Dusty asked.

  “Nothing.” Everything. Dexter stomped off, before he said or did something he’d surely regret.

  “NICE WHEELS,” JOSIE SAID when she hopped into the front seat of Dusty’s white Ford F-350. The inside was spotless and still had that new-car smell. “Sit.”

  “I am,” Josie said.

  “Sorry, not you.” Dusty reached over the backseat and opened the window in the middle of the rear windshield. “Sit, Track.”

  Josie noted the Border collie obeyed. Dusty had another think coming if he believed she’d obey and marry him.

  Dusty shifted into Reverse. “Ready?”

  Was anyone ever ready to face a firing squad? “I guess.”

  Dusty had offered to pick her up this morning so they could discuss their game plan for revealing that Matt was a Cody.

  Game plan. Good grief. Did men always equate difficult situations to sports?

  As they drove away Josie’s eyes shifted to the barn. Dexter was in the corral with Zeus, attempting to put a saddle on him. When he’d arrived earlier in the morning he hadn’t bothered to stop at the house and apologize for being a big chicken and not telling his brother that he had feelings for her.

  Yesterday when Dexter hadn’t objected to Dusty’s marriage proposal, her heart had splintered into a million pieces. The encounter brought back painful memories of high school when Dexter had turned his back on her.

  “About you and Matt moving to Markton…” Dusty said, snagging her attention.

  If Dexter had proposed to her, she’d have relocated to Wyoming in a heartbeat. “You’re asking me to give up my job, leave the only home Matt has ever known, his friends, his school—”

  “We’re all making sacrifices, Josie.”

  Ouch. Evidently Dusty’s sacrifice was settling for her.

  He selected a music CD from the holder attached to the passenger-seat visor. Dierks Bentley sang “What Was I Thinkin’” and Josie wondered the exact same thing when she’d agreed to consider Dusty’s marriage proposal.

  “Have you given more thought to—”

  “C’mon, Dusty. You can’t be serious. We don’t love each other.”

  He shrugged. “We had fun together in California.”

  Fun was one thing. Forever would be a life sentence to a man like Dusty. Besides, being with Dexter these past few weeks only reaffirmed how wrong she and Dusty were for each other. Granted, lots of couples entered into marriage as friends and with time developed a lasting affection for each other. But Josie refused to settle for less than a fairy-tale ending.

  Dusty’s intentions might be honorable, but they’d end up divorcing inside of a year. One day Dusty would settle down with the right woman—but now wasn’t the time and she wasn’t that woman. In truth, she liked Dusty just the way he was—a cowboy Casanova. She didn’t care to change him. And why should he change for her when she didn’t love him and never would? No matter which angle she viewed the situation from, she and Dusty together was wrong. Plain wrong.

  “You didn’t tell your parents anything, did you?” he asked.

  “Nope.” Josie had ignored the concerned look her mother and father had exchanged over the breakfast table when she’d announced that Dusty was taking her for a drive this morning. She’d sat in
the rocker on the front porch and had waited for Dusty—her eyes following Dexter’s every move. She’d wanted him to give her a sign that he was aware she and Dusty were about to drop a bomb on the Cody family. Nothing. He hadn’t even glanced in her direction.

  “Nervous?” Dusty white-knuckled the steering wheel—obviously he was strung tighter than barbed wire.

  “Not really.” Josie spoke the truth. Late last night she’d arrived at the realization that no matter what happened today, one fact would remain constant—she’d always be Matt’s mother. Sharing her son with the Cody clan and Dusty wouldn’t change that. Her worry that J.W. would take Matt away from her had been based on an unfounded fear, and she was ashamed she’d kept Matt from his family for so long. “Josie?”

  “Yeah?”

  Several seconds ticked by before Dusty spoke. “What’s up between you and my brother?”

  Heat suffused her face, and she stared out the side window until her body temperature returned to normal. “Which brother?”

  He chuckled. “Dexter.”

  “Nothing’s going on between us.”

  “Why’s he boarding the mustang at the Lazy S?”

  “My father offered him the use of the corral because he doesn’t have the cash to pay Dexter or the Cody ranch hands for helping with Lazy S cattle. And your mother wanted Zeus kept away from her horses. She’s afraid the mustang might attack one of her stallions.”

  “Mom can be pretty persuasive, but are you positive Dexter isn’t over at your ranch all the time because of you?”

  “Exactly what are you getting at, Dusty? Dexter and I are friends. We were friends in high school and nothing’s changed that.” The thought of only friendship between her and Dexter the rest of their years made her sad.

  “Dexter had a big ol’ crush on you in high school.”

  “How come you never said anything to me?”

  “’Cause I figured you’d dump me for him.”

  “Dump you?” She laughed. “You were the most popular boy in high school and every girl envied me. I wouldn’t have given that up.” Sadly, she spoke the truth. She’d reveled in her popularity as Dusty’s girlfriend. Curiosity got the best of her. “Did Dexter tell you he liked me back in high school?”