Broken Play
Page 30
I was worried with him going away to college that we’d lose that closeness. I worried that friendship with a fourteen year old Freshman in high school wouldn’t fit into his new college life. I was scared to lose him. Knowing he was so intimate with Laney was terrifying to me. They were working on a level I couldn’t operate at and I didn’t know what that meant for him and I. For me and my best friend. He was in love with her now and she was going to take him from me completely and the thought left me cold.
And angry.
“Are you done bragging now?” I asked sharply. “Can I go back to sleep?”
Laney frowned. “What’s your problem?”
“You woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me dirty stories, that’s my problem.”
“I thought you’d be excited for me!”
“I am but I’m also tired! Tell me all about it in the morning but let me go back to sleep now!”
“Whatever,” Laney snarled, angrily jumping off my bed and heading for the door. “I’ll remember what a bitch you were just now when you come running to me to talk about the first time you’re in love. Oh wait, that will never happen because you’re a weird loner freak with no friends!”
She slammed my door when she left.
Chapter Five
A few days later I was awakened in the night again. This time it was the sound of a car coming into the driveway. A door opened and closed. Soft shouts. A hesitant knock on the front door.
I glanced at the clock. It was 3am.
I recognized my dad’s footsteps hurrying down the hall, heading toward the stairs. I slipped out of bed silently and crept toward my door. After he’d passed by, I slowly opened it and snuck out onto the dark balcony as he headed down the stairs. I knew he couldn’t see me there, not without the chandelier in the foyer turned on and he wouldn’t risk it. Not with mom and Laney still soundly asleep.
He looked through the glass on the side of the door to see who it was then quickly opened it.
“Kellen,” he said, sounding startled, “are you alright? What’s happened?”
I couldn’t understand Kellen’s words but I could read his tone. It was low and dark. Dead.
“No, of course. Come inside,” dad told him. He stepped aside to let Kellen in but then he paused, listening to Kellen’s low voice again. “That’s alright. Get inside while I grab some money from Karen’s purse in the kitchen.”
Dad left the door open as he headed for the kitchen. Kellen didn’t come inside. I could see his lower half through the doorway. Only his motionless legs and feet illuminated by the porch light. Old tennis shoes and holey jeans.
Dad came back with money in his hand. He went outside to pay whoever was waiting in the driveway. I didn’t hear anything for a long time. Then there was the sound of tires on the drive again. This time they were leaving. Kellen’s feet still hadn’t moved.
“Inside,” dad said sternly. He came back into view. His naked feet were standing beside Kellen’s. Waiting. “Let’s go. Now.”
Finally Kellen moved. He stepped into the house, his body coming into view through the doorway but leaking from sight in the shadows. I could see his outline. He was moving stiffly, almost hesitantly. It was something I’d never seen him do before. Dad came in behind him, firmly shutting the door and locking it.
“I’m sorry about the cab,” Kellen said. His voice was off. Strange. “I didn’t know what else to do. The buses are running but I couldn’t sit still. I—“
“It’s alright. Don’t worry about it.”
“I’ll pay you back.”
“You don’t have to worry about that.”
“No, I will pay you back,” Kellen insisted, his voice rising. “I have the money. Just not on me.”
“Hey,” dad said softly, stepping in front of him, catching his eye. “I know you’re good for it. Let’s not worry about it right now, alright?”
I saw Kellen nod.
“I’m sorry I came here,” he said sounding exhausted. His voice was growing quiet again. “I didn’t want to wake any of you but I—I didn’t know where else to go.”
“This is where you go, Kellen. Always. This house is where you go, do you understand that?”
“Yes, sir,” he whispered.
“Now, how bad is your eye? Do we need to go get you stitches?”
Kellen shook his head. “I don’t know. I haven’t looked at it. He started laying into me and I tried to walk out but he kept getting in my way. He was telling me to hit him. He was begging me to but I kept thinking about what you said. I kept thinking that I’m almost out. I’m almost free and clear and my own man but he just kept at me and I wanted to hit him so bad, just to get him to shut up. Finally, he got tired of waiting and he started punching me.”
“What was he saying to you?”
“He told me I’m no good. That I’m playing house with a rich girl but she’s slumming and she’ll drop me when she gets bored. He said I’m trotting off to some big college thinking I’m hot shit but that I’ll fall flat on my face the second I get there. He said I’m a poor bastard child of an Irish immigrant whore and that’s all I’ll ever be.”
“That son of a bitch,” dad muttered. “And you didn’t hit him after that? Kellen, I’m proud of you.”
“I was so close. I’m still shaking from it. I feel like I need to hit something to get it out but if I do, if I get arrested again, I’ll lose everything.”
Dad touched his shoulder gently. I saw Kellen jump.
“Not everything, son.”
“No. You couldn’t let me back in here after that. I wouldn’t want you to. I couldn’t look Karen in the eyes. I couldn’t face Jenna and Laney after that. What would they think? I’d be everything he said I am. Shit,” he groaned, running his hands through his hair. “Maybe I already am.”
“Stop it,” dad snapped. “You know who you are. Don’t ever let anyone tell you, because they don’t know. No one knows but you. Look me in the eyes, Kellen, and tell me that you’re nothing. When you’re in school making better grades than half the rich brats there, are you nothing? When you’re pulling in acceptance letters from colleges across the country willing to practically pay you to go there, are you nothing? When you’re in the ring, what are you then?”
Kellen dropped his hands to his sides. They were still clenched tight.
“I’m a man,” he said roughly.
“Damn straight. One of the best ones I’ve ever had the privilege to know. Do you think I’d let you around my daughters if I thought any less of you?”
“No.”
“No. Don’t listen to that man anymore. He’s lashing out because he’s jealous and scared. His life is going nowhere because he never tried. You’ve never stopped trying, Kellen, and you never will.”
They both stood motionless and silent for a long time. I watched them looking like statues together. Two tall, broad, brilliant men.
“Come on,” dad said, his voice softer than before. “Let’s go to the kitchen so I can look at your eye. At the very least we’ll need to ice it.”
Kellen silently followed my dad to the kitchen. I watched and I waited with breath held, suddenly afraid as they were moving that they would somehow see me. I never wanted Kellen to know I’d been there. He couldn’t know I’d seen all of this because he would know I felt sorry for him and he’d be angry. Embarrassed. So I saved him from that. From me. Because I loved him.
And that night I wept for him.
END PREVIEW
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About the Author
I was born in Eugene, Oregon and studied English Literature at the University of Oregon (Go Ducks!) It was there that I discovered why Latin is a dead language and that being an English teacher was not actually what I wanted to do with my life.
My husband, my son and my 80lbs pitbull who thinks he's a lapdog are my world.
Visit my website for more information on upcoming releases, Tracey Ward
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Tracey Ward, Broken Play