Because He Watches Me (Because He Owns Me, Book Nine) (An Alpha Billionaire Romance)
Page 43
Red stood up and saw her examining her injury. “You lay back down and elevate that ankle,” he said, forcefully but also with concern. He was carrying an Ace bandage and tape in his hands, coming back to the couch to tend to her.
“You really don’t need to do this,” she told him.
Now that she was recovering her senses and the pain in her ankle had lessened slightly, she could really take in Red’s unshaven face, the dark circles under his eyes. He even looked thinner.
“Let me see that ankle,” he said, taking her foot in one hand and then beginning to wrap the bandage around it. “This will help stabilize things a bit. And then we’re going to get some ice on it for the swelling.”
“How do you know so much about treating ankle sprains?” she asked.
Red just shrugged. “My brother’s a doctor. I could probably remove your appendix too, if we were in a pinch.” He looked up and grinned at her—the old Red grin that she loved so much.
Nicole felt her heart flutter, and then her stomach. That reminded her of why she’d come here. How was she going to tell him? She swallowed and remembered how thirsty she was. “Can I have a cup of water?” she said.
“Of course,” he replied, finishing with the Ace bandage, and laying her foot on the top of the armrest of the couch. “One second.” He walked back to the sink and grabbed a cup from one of the shelves, then poured her water straight from the tap. “This is much better than the crap in New York City. Fresh as can be.”
He came back and she took the cup gratefully from his hands, drinking it all at once. “Thanks,” she said, after she’d gulped it all down.
“Wow, you weren’t kidding about being thirsty.” He went to the refrigerator and opened the freezer door. “Let’s see now. Here we go.” He came back with a couple of packages of frozen peas.
“I’m not a big fan of peas,” Nicole said.
“Well that’s fine. You’re not going to be eating them.” He pressed the peas against her ankle on both sides. “Don’t move around too much. We do this for twenty minutes, every three hours. Got it?”
She shrugged.
He put his hands on his hips and looked her over. “Are you hungry, Nicole? I figured I’d fix us something to eat in the next hour or so.”
“I don’t know if I should stay that long,” she said, barely able to look at him. She was still scared of him, she realized. Who knew when he’d get angry again or decide she needed to be sent away? Especially when he found out she was pregnant.
“Of course you’ll stay,” he said. “Don’t be silly. Now that you’re here…” Red trailed off. Then he started to smile again. “I’m glad you’re here, Nicole. Not glad you hurt your ankle, but still. You’re here now and I’m not letting you get away so fast.”
“If you’re glad I’m here, then why did you act so angry when you first saw me?” she asked, finally allowing the hurt she felt from his reaction to show on her face. “You looked like you wished I’d just disappear in a puff of smoke.”
Red shook his head and came towards her. “No. Hell no, I didn’t want you to disappear. You’re all I think about.”
“I don’t believe that for a second.”
“Well it’s true.”
“You made sure I couldn’t find you,” she said. “That doesn’t sound like someone you think about all the time. Unless you think about how much you want to forget about me.”
“Is that why you think I did all of this? Because I don’t care about you?”
“Yes, Red. That’s what any normal person would assume.”
He nodded. “I can see why you’d assume that. But the fact is, I came to the cabin to protect you from me—not to protect myself from you. I told you before. I’m not good enough for you, I’m just a bad guy.”
“That’s not true.”
“It is true,” he snapped, color blazing in his cheeks. “I’m a mess, Nicole and it’s better for you to stay away from me. I knew that I had to protect you, to make it impossible for us to see each other.”
Nicole could feel her eyes welling up and she blinked back her tears. “I hate what you’re saying to me right now. I hate it.”
Red quieted and looked at the floor. “And then when you appeared in front of me just then like some vision, like a dream come to life—I panicked. I panicked because there hasn’t been a single second, not a single second since you left that I haven’t thought about you.”
“Then you should have been happy to see me.”
“I was. But I was also terrified, because I knew that I’d never have the strength to send you away again.” Red’s eyes were boring into hers as he continued. “It took every ounce of strength I had to make you leave last time. And now I don’t have it in me—I’m too weak and selfish to do what’s right for you. I need to keep you close to me for the rest of my life.”
“That’s all I ever wanted in the first place,” she told him. “But you found a way to make me doubt us—to make me doubt your feelings for me.”
“I know you didn’t understand why I did what I did,” he said. “I know that it seems to you like I don’t care. But really, the very opposite is true. I care about you so much, Nicole—I love you so much—that it was more important to me that you move on with your life. Be happy with someone else. Meet a really nice, normal guy who doesn’t have all this darkness inside of him ruining everything.”
“I don’t care about your darkness,” she said.
Red blinked at her. “What?”
“I said, I don’t care about your darkness. In fact, I love your darkness. I love your moods. Because I love you, Red. That’s all a part of who you are and I love you.”
Red put a hand on his face and rubbed his beard. “My god. I’m a fool. What did I do? What did I do to you?” He came over and leaned down and kissed her.
She kissed him back, and his lips were just as she remembered—everything was right—as if they’d only just kissed a moment ago. He was hungry for her, as always, maybe even more so. His hands caressed her face, as if he was a blind man relishing every curve of her jaw, the sensation of her skin against his.
“Red,” she said, breaking away. “I came here for a reason.”
He pulled back and looked into her eyes. “I figured the reason was that you knew we needed to be together. Is there another reason?”
She nodded. “Yes, there is.” Her heart was pounding again. Was she telling him too soon? He’d only just admitted his feelings--they’d finally come together again. She wanted to enjoy this moment and not ruin it.
But why should telling him the truth ruin anything?
“Nicole,” he said softly. “You know you can tell me everything.” He stroked her hair and smiled.
“I’m scared,” she whispered. Her hand went to her stomach, reflexively.
“Don’t be scared,” he replied. “Just say it. Whatever it is you came to tell me, you can just say it.”
Nicole licked her lips and swallowed. Red sat down on the edge of the couch, his body touching hers. He was so warm and his presence so comforting, his eyes were soft and caring. She didn’t want to lose this sensation of being taken care of.
“Promise me that you won’t be angry.”
“I won’t be angry, babe.”
She smiled at him calling her babe, as if no time had gone by at all. As if he hadn’t ordered out of his life and run away. She believed him completely—in his mind she’d never stopped being the one. Just as in her mind, she’d never truly stopped believing that he loved her completely.
“Yesterday I woke up and got sick to my stomach,” she said. Her voice shook slightly.
His brow furrowed. “You threw up?”
“Yeah. I thought maybe I had a touch of a stomach bug or something. But then it happened again this morning, and I couldn’t brush it off.”
Red nodded slightly, his expression unreadable. “Go on.”
“So I did the next thing. I went to the pharmacy and got some pregnancy tests and cam
e home and took them. They all said the same thing.” Nicole looked into his eyes and tried to see what he was thinking.
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?” he asked.
“I’m pregnant.” She burst into tears. “And I know it’s yours and I hope…I hope you…” she couldn’t finish.
“Listen to me, Nicole,” he said, his voice calm but forceful. “Look at me, babe.”
She did, even though her eyes were filled with tears.
“I love you with all my heart,” he said. “And I’m so happy that you’re carrying our child. We’re going to be a family,” he said. And then he was kissing her again, and she was kissing him back.
His hand moved down to her belly and rubbed it softly.
“Promise me you’ll never leave us again?” she said.
“Never. In my heart, I never left you,” he told her. “I thought you should leave me, but I never wanted to be apart. I was just a damn fool and I hope you’ll forgive me for being a fool.”
“Of course I forgive you. But how can I be sure you won’t freak out again?”
“Because I’m giving you my word.” He looked at her and smiled and kissed her forehead. “We have a baby. It’s so perfect, isn’t it? A beautiful being is going to come into this world and that little baby is going to be the manifestation of what you and I share. A piece of you and a piece of me—hopefully more of you and a bit less of me.”
She laughed. “I never thought you’d react like this. I was terrified you’d be angry with me.”
“Never.” He kissed her lips. “Never.”
Nicole was finally starting to relax. The cabin was so cozy and her worst fears had been averted. In fact, Red’s reaction to the news had been far better than she ever could’ve imagined. He actually was excited and happy, almost joyous about it all.
“I’m so glad I came here,” she murmured, suddenly feeling tired. It was as if she hadn’t slept in weeks and weeks.
She was finally home. Home was wherever Red was.
Red went to his little twin bed and took the blanket from it, brought it over to the couch and covered her with it. She smiled up at him, her eyes heavy. She felt sleepy and drunk with relief.
“Rest now, Nicole. I’m here and I’ll take care of everything.”
“You will?” she murmured, already falling into the depths, as if dipping into a warm, soothing bath.
“I will,” he replied.
And then she was sleeping peacefully, the most relaxed she’d been in a very long time.
When Nicole first awoke from her nap, her eyes blinking, trying to remember where she was—she heard noises—pots and pans clanking together or something.
Her eyes began to focus and she saw Red at the stove, bustling around. All he needed was a little apron and he’d have made a perfect chef, she thought.
Red heard her stirring and turned around. “What’s that smile about?” he asked, holding a spoon dripping with red sauce.
Nicole scooted up on the couch and felt a short burst of pain in her ankle. “Ouch.”
“Are you okay?” He dropped the spoon and bolted over to the couch. “Let me look at your ankle,” he said.
“I’m fine,” she laughed. “I just tweaked it a little—I kind of forgot it was hurt.”
“I should rewrap it anyway, and you’re almost due for another round of ice.”
“You mean peas.”
“Frozen peas,” he clarified, unwrapping the Ace bandage and examining her swollen, bruised ankle. “Damn, I’m so pissed at myself for making you run away like that this afternoon.” Red shook his head.
“It’s okay now,” she said, patting his hand.
“It’s not okay for me. You got hurt because I acted like a jerk.”
“My ankle already feels better,” she said. “So you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it.”
Red looked up at her. “I can tell when you lie.”
“Well, I’m sure it will feel better soon. Especially with my own personal physician helping me rehab it with frozen veggies.”
He laughed and nodded, reapplying the bandage. “I think the swelling’s already gone down a bit.”
Nicole watched him as he tended to her injury, and she couldn’t help but well up with love and affection. He was so intent on making her comfortable, on taking care of her, just the way she’d hoped he would in her wildest fantasies.
It was worth it to twist my ankle to see him behaving this way, she thought.
“What are you cooking over there, Chef Jameson?” she asked, pointing to the stove with the big pot bubbling on it. She could see steam pouring out of the top of it.
“Oh, shit. I forgot, I have to stir that and turn down the heat or dinner’s going to be ruined,” he said, scrambling to his feet and darting back to the stove.
He picked up his spoon and stirred vigorously for a minute. “I’m making Red’s famous spaghetti with marinara sauce.”
“Mmmm…sounds delicious,” she replied, sniffing the air. “I smell onions and garlic and meatballs.”
“Sausage, actually. Everything’s in the sauce, babe.” He turned and gave her an exaggerated wink. “But don’t try and ask me for my recipe—I’ll never reveal my secret sauce.”
“I think I could make you tell if I wanted to.”
“No way,” he said, shaking his head. “My lips are sealed.”
A few minutes later, Red had come back to the couch bearing his frozen peas again, as promised. Nicole sat up and he placed a few pillows behind her back, but still made sure her foot was sufficiently elevated.
“Thanks,” she said, relaxing again into the wonders of being waited on hand and foot by the love of her life. She actually wanted to pinch herself and make sure it wasn’t a dream.
As Red continued to prepare their dinner, she had time to think about all of the things they still needed to talk about. After all, now that she was pregnant, they had to truly set a wedding date and work through everything this was going to entail. She didn’t know what kind of parenting style Red believed in. She didn’t know if he wanted to find out the baby’s sex in advance—did he want to take Lamaze classes with her?
There were so many questions, so many details to figure out.
And on top of that, there were all the other questions still lingering about what Red’s fate was going to be now that he’d been fired from Jameson International. Nicole didn’t care about the money specifically, but she did want to know what his next step would be. Did he want to just hang around at home and live off his money for the rest of his life—did he want them to live in the wilderness like the Swiss Family Robinson?
Nicole hated to think that Kane Wright had forced Red into early retirement. Even thinking the man’s name made her stomach turn. Worse still, she knew eventually she was going to have to explain to Red what had gone on while they’d been out of touch.
Kane was still under the assumption that Nicole was going to the Cayman Islands with him. How would he react when he realized she was backing out of the deal? He’d already paid off Danielle’s student loans and credit cards to the tune of a hundred thousand dollars. He still had information about Red that he was threatening to release to the media.
As wonderful as it had been to enjoy this little pocket of tranquility and contentment, she knew she was going to have to burst the bubble sooner rather than later with news from the outside world.
And Nicole knew Red well enough to be fairly certain he was going to blow his stack when he found out about Kane Wright’s recent overtures.
“Dinner is served, madam,” Red said, carrying a heaping plate of spaghetti over to her on the couch.
“It looks and smells delicious,” she said, and it was true. Her stomach gurgled and growled, reminding her of just how ravenous she really was.
Nicole dug in immediately and was astounded by how good it tasted. “Wow,” she said. “You weren’t kidding when you said this was your famous marinara sauce. It’s totally awesome.”
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Red went to the stove to make himself a plate. “I shouldn’t really take all the credit, though. Chef Roland might have shown me a thing or two.”
“It’s his recipe, isn’t it?”
Red finished spooning sauce onto his spaghetti before answering. “Truth is, a couple years ago I realized that I couldn’t cook anything but bacon and eggs. And my eggs weren’t anything to write home about either.” He grabbed a chair and pulled it right next to the couch, then sat down and rested the plate on his lap. “I figured it might be nice to learn how to make at least one decent meal, in case I ever wanted to cook and impress someone.”
Nicole cocked an eyebrow at him. “Just how many women have you made this famous pasta for?”
“Only a few,” he said, his face reddening slightly. “But I’ve never made it with so much love. I swear.”
She put another forkful in her mouth and chewed before speaking again. “It’s okay, I love you even though you used to be a slut.”
“Slut? Me?” He shook his head, pretending to be annoyed. “How dare you?”
“Did Kate Hudson ever eat this?”
“No.”
She threw a few other famous actresses and models at him.
He kept shaking his head no, clearly embarrassed. Nicole just laughed, she honestly didn’t care whether or not he’d used his cooking skills to impress other women. She liked seeing him squirm, though.
When the meal was over, Red took the dishes and washed them, put the pot in the fridge for leftovers. It was interesting watching him work, Nicole thought.
In their brief time together, they’d always been served by others; housekeepers, waiters and world-class chefs. But she could tell that Red was perfectly capable of taking care of himself, and he even seemed to enjoy doing it. He was diligent with everything he did. Red Jameson liked to do things the right way, she decided. It didn’t matter if he was cleaning up pasta sauce or putting together a multi-million dollar ad campaign—he paid attention to details.
She really admired that about him.
And he also really seemed to enjoy taking care of her. Immediately after dinner, he checked her foot again, made sure it was comfortable and elevated. He sat on the edge of the couch and held her hand, looked into her eyes and told her how glad he was that she’d came to the cabin. “You coming here was like God smacking me upside the head and telling me what an idiot I’ve been,” he said.