Build

by Gillian Archer

  Despite the angst of the moment, I snorted a suppressed laugh.

  “But that’s no excuse for you to stop living your life. You deserve to be happy, honey. I want that for you more than anything.”

  “I guess we can agree on one thing—our kids’ happiness is the most important thing. Which is why I won’t compromise Wyatt’s for mine.”

  Mom shook her head sadly and turned back to the tv. Looking down at my phone, I deleted Austin’s voicemail message without listening to it. I couldn’t bear to. I was afraid that if I even heard his voice, I’d lose my resolve.

  God, I missed him.

  *

  Austin

  I ended the call, knowing that Rachel wouldn’t return it, probably wouldn’t even listen to the voicemail. I finally had good news, and the one person I wanted to share it with wouldn’t even pick up the phone. Christ, when did this become my life?

  “She not answering?” Nathan asked like he already knew the answer.

  I shook my head silently, feeling like the saddest fuck in the whole world.

  “Well, come on, bro. Let’s go celebrate.” Nathan threw his arm around me. “It’s not every day that you get a fucking tv show.”

  “I don’t know, Nate. I’m just not feeling it.”

  “You know what they say: the best way to get over a woman is to get under a new one.”

  I let him push me toward the parking lot as all our family crowded around and poured into vehicles, ready to celebrate our contract signing. I’d get drunk tonight, but there was no way I was getting under any woman who wasn’t Rachel Tannenbaum.

  Christ, I really was a sad fuck.

  *

  The next day we were all nursing hangovers from hell. The shop lights were too bright, the cement was too hard, and Ryan had claimed the only comfortable sofa we kept in the garage. Although that last one might’ve been for the best, I didn’t want to get my face anywhere near the collection of stains on those cushions.

  Last night we’d painted the town every shade of red we could find. It’d been almost fun at first. Until the women started circling.

  I kept picturing the look on Rachel’s face the last time I saw her—the pain, her tears, the way her voice caught when she spoke. I’d done that to her. I’d hurt her, and I’d do anything to make it up to her. I loved her.

  But apparently she didn’t love me back.

  I startled as my phone rang and immediately winced as my head pounded. Christ, that was loud.

  “Make it stop,” Ryan moaned into the sofa cushions across the room.

  “I am never drinking with you assholes again,” I muttered as I pulled my phone from my back pocket. Not even bothering to check the number, I accepted the call just to make the sound stop. “Hello?”

  “Austin?” Rachel’s mom replied in a shaky voice. “Oh, thank god. I’ve called just about everywhere, and no one is answering.”

  “Trish is everything okay? Is Rachel all right?” My heart went into freefall. “Is Wyatt?”

  “No. Yes. Rachel was in a car accident. She was on her way to pick me up from physical therapy, and I don’t know what happened. The police officer just said that she was in a collar, and that they were taking her here to the hospital.”

  My mind raced as I tried to take in all that info. Rachel was hurt. Fuck. I had to get to her. Had to make sure that she’d be all right. “Shit. I’ll be there in five.”

  “No! I’m here in the waiting room. My physio is on the hospital grounds, so I just wheeled myself over. God, I’m rambling. They haven’t updated me yet, but that’s not why I called you. Wyatt is at preschool, and I can’t find anyone to pick him up. Can you go get him?”

  “Yes, of course.”

  “Thank you. That’s one less thing for me to worry about. I’ll text you the address.” She took a shuddering breath, and her voice broke. “I uh, God. I just… I don’t know what I’m going to do if she’s not okay. She’s my whole world. And Wyatt. Oh God. I can’t…”

  “Trish, please take a few breaths. We’ll get through this. I’ll take care of Wyatt. Just—please, please, keep me updated on Rachel. I don’t—I can’t…” This time it was my turn to take a shuddering breath. I couldn’t make my brain and mouth function. All I could think was Rachel was hurt. Rachel was hurt, and I couldn’t be with her.

  But I could be there for Wyatt.

  Trish’s froggy voice came over the line. “As soon as I know anything, I’ll let you know. I uh, don’t think Wyatt should be told anything. He doesn’t need to deal with the uncertainty.”

  “Agreed. I’ll head over now. And um, take him out to eat or something.”

  “I-I’ll be in touch. Thank you, Austin.”

  “Anytime.” I felt like a tool, but I didn’t want to say those words that might not be true. She’ll be okay. They ran through my head like a litany, but I couldn’t dare speak them. She might not be okay. She might never be okay again. I might lose her. A sense of doom weighed me down.

  Christ, it hurt. Hurt so much.

  The phone I still held up to my face buzzed with an incoming text message. Trish had ended the call and sent the address of Wyatt’s preschool.

  I had to go get him. And not let him know that I was going out of my mind worrying about his mom. I looked around the shop for some help, but Ryan was comatose on the sofa, Nathan was nowhere around—he’d disappeared early last night with some blond before everything got stupid, and I don’t think Sabrina was even here yet.

  The front door swung open. I blinked against the harsh natural light and winced. Dylan stepped into the light, letting the door swing shut behind him. I lifted my chin at him.

  “Hey, bro. Thank god you’re here.” I crossed the room toward him.

  Dylan’s eyes widened at my greeting. We’d had an uneasy relationship the last two weeks. I’d tried to get past the choices he’d made, but it was still so damn awkward anytime we hung out. Last night he’d spent most of his time on the opposite side of the room. His distance and the loud, pounding music in the club had made it all but impossible to talk last night. Not that we’d tried.

  “Is that a joke or something?” Dylan asked with a frown.

  “No, I need your help. Rachel’s been in a car accident, and I gotta go pick up Wyatt, but I don’t have a car seat for him. Can you run over to a box store and get one for me? He’s three and—I don’t know—thirty-ish pounds? Then meet me at the school? I’ll text you the address.”

  “Of course. I’m on it.”

  “Thanks, Dyl.” I bent over my phone to forward the address of the school to him. My fingers shook, making the simple task difficult. My head was foggy and it felt like everything was underwater or in slow motion or something. I couldn’t make my fingers work.

  “Whoa, you okay, Aust?” Dylan’s face appeared between me and my phone. He blinked a few times, his forehead wrinkled.

  “Yeah, no. I’m fine. I gotta go get Wyatt.”

  “Yeah, there’s no way I’m letting you drive anywhere. Ryan! Yo, Rye, get your lazy ass up!”

  “What?” Ryan sat up with an angry frown. “Can’t you see I’m trying to sleep here.”

  “Are you sober? Can you drive?” Dylan asked.

  Ryan rubbed at the back of his head. “Yeah, why? Where are we going?”

  The whole conversation felt like it was happening miles away. I couldn’t focus. All I could think was Rachel. Rachel was hurt and bleeding somewhere, and I couldn’t see her. She was still mad at me. She probably wouldn’t even want to see me. Why did I fuck it all up?

  “All right, bro. Give me your phone.” Ryan appeared at my side and took my phone out of my hands. His fingers flew over the screen. “Sent you the address, Dylan. We’ll see you there.”

  I shook my head. “I’m okay. I gotta go pick up Wyatt.”

  “Yeah, you’re not driving anywhere.” Ryan snorted. “We’ll go pick him up together.”

  I protested as we walked to my truck but gave up when I realized tha
t Ryan wasn’t even listening. On the drive over, he bitched about the station I had selected, the brightness of the sun, and the stupid drivers who were all driving too slow. But it all felt like it was happening at a distance from me. I was numb to it all. I was too busy thinking about Rachel.

  But I snapped out of it when I saw Wyatt standing all by himself on the playground at the school.

  “Austin!” He shouted, running across the blacktop. He stopped at the fence and hooked his fingers through the fence. “What are you doing here?”

  He looked so much like Rachel. I swallowed hard against the bubbling nausea. Christ, I couldn’t think about that now. I had to be an adult. “I came to pick you up. Your mom said you can hang out with me and my brothers today. Maybe go pick up my dog then go see the shop where we build motorcycles. What do you say?”

  “Yes! Let’s go!” Wyatt pulled away from the fence and ran toward the building.

  I tossed a smile toward my brother as he stood next to my pickup. “He’s got some energy, huh?”

  “Yeah,” Ryan smiled. “I’ll wait out here for Dylan if you don’t mind.”

  “Sounds good. Thanks, Ryan.”

  He shrugged like it wasn’t a big deal, but we both knew different. This was what my family did. We might bicker or even throw punches, but we showed up when it mattered.

  25

  Trish Tannenbaum

  Mercy General Hospital

  I wanted her to be okay. I needed her to be okay. Wyatt needed her.

  I’d fought tears back for the past two hours. I couldn’t waste my time crying over the possibilities. I had to know what we were dealing with before I could let myself fall apart.

  I hated hospitals. That antiseptic smell. The piercing voice on the loud speaker. Knowing that my baby was lying somewhere here broken and bleeding. I hated every bit of it.

  And waiting rooms were the worst. Everyone in here was crying or fighting back tears. Every time the door opened, every single person held their breath, waiting to see if they’d finally have answers. It was beginning to feel like it would never be me. I’d been waiting forever and hadn’t had any new information aside from signing the consent for emergency exploratory surgery because Rachel was bleeding internally, and they needed to stop it.

  That had been ninety minutes ago.

  On my left a family of six sat weeping and whispering in Spanish. A stoic man sat on the opposite side of the room with a blank face, his eyes never leaving the door to the waiting room.

  My eyes turned in the same direction. A second later I jumped as the door opened, but it wasn’t a doctor with news—just another family. A thin woman about my age with blue hair and tattoos entered with two men in their late twenties and a woman a bit younger. I had taken a spot on the far side of the room, away from all the loving families because I was here alone. I’d only been able to get ahold of Austin, and he was taking care of Wyatt. Once he answered, I’d stopped calling people—no one was answering, and I couldn’t stomach leaving a voicemail. What would I say? Rachel was… I shuddered and tried to stop thinking about it. I’d call when I had some answers.

  “Mrs. Tannenbaum?” The thin woman with blue hair sat in the chair on my left.

  “I, yes?” My heartbeat pounded in my ears.

  “I’m Austin Burns’ aunt, Wendy. This is my daughter Sabrina and my nephews, Dylan and Nathan. Austin sent us over to wait with you and keep you company.”

  For the millionth time that day, tears welled in my eyes. “That is so thoughtful of him. Thank you.”

  “We’re happy to do it. We’ve all met Rachel. She’s a wonderful woman. You’ve raised her well.” Wendy reached over and patted my hand.

  The younger man, Dylan I thought, stepped forward. “Austin sent me over to get your house keys. He thought Wyatt might sleep better in his own bed instead of a strange place tonight.”

  “Oh.” I reached a shaky hand into my purse and pulled out my keys. “Will you tell him thank you? I uh, I have a feeling Rachel will be staying here a few days, so I’ll try to figure out what we’re going to do. I don’t want to impose on him or any of you. I know he needs to get back to work. As do you all.”

  “I know he doesn’t see it as an imposition,” Wendy said with a small smile. “He loves that boy.”

  Dylan nodded. “He put a car seat for Wyatt in his truck. I don’t think he sees it as an imposition at all.”

  “He bought a car seat for Wyatt?” I asked.

  Dylan laughed. “Yeah. Wyatt and I learned some new curse words while we watched him install it today.”

  Wendy cleared her throat and shot Dylan a dirty look.

  Dylan’s face sobered. “Not that he’s a bad influence or anything. I just meant…”

  “That you need to get the keys to Austin ASAP,” his brother filled in with narrowed eyes. “That’s what you meant to say. Right, bro?”

  “Right. Keys. Austin. I’ll just be…” Dylan turned around and booked it out of the room like the hounds of hell were on his heels.

  I had to laugh. “It was sweet of Austin to get a car seat for Wyatt. I didn’t even think of it.” I chuckled at the mental image of that big, strong man trying to install the seat in his pickup. “I probably would’ve cursed too. Those seats are such a pain in the ass.”

  Everyone laughed softly.

  “Have they updated you at all about her condition?”

  I shrugged helplessly. “All I know is that she was t-boned by a drunk driver. She was unconscious when they brought her in, and they took her away for emergency surgery over an hour ago because she was bleeding internally. I think—” My voice broke. “I think they said something about a broken rib and internal lacerations? It was hard to focus with all the jargon they were throwing around and the paperwork. But I know she’s in surgery. They haven’t updated me since.”

  Sabrina tilted her head with a concerned expression. “I’m sure they’ll be by as soon as they can.”

  “And your daughter is a fighter,” Wendy said with a firm nod. “If she can keep Austin on his toes like she has the past couple of months, she’ll fight like hell. She’s strong.”

  “She’s stubborn. So, so stubborn,” I whispered. “I told her time and again to give Austin another chance. That man loves her so much, so hard. She doesn’t know how rare that really is. And now…now she might—”

  “Tannenbaum? Tannenbaum family?” A man in scrubs stood in the doorway. I’d been so caught up with Austin’s family and my thoughts that I’d missed his entrance.

  My heart in my throat, I raised my hand and called out weakly. “Here. Over here.”

  *

  “Thank you so much for the ride home, Dylan. Your family has been amazing. I can’t…I don’t know how I can ever thank you all.”

  Dylan shrugged uncomfortably as his truck idled in front of my apartment.

  It had been the day from hell. I was exhausted, and I still had the hardest part of my day ahead of me—somehow I had to explain to Wyatt what had happened, where his mom was, when she’d be home. A weak part of me hoped that since it was eight o’clock, he would already be asleep. I needed time to work out what I was going to say to him.

  “I’ll help you inside,” Dylan said before he hopped out of the truck and around the bed where he’d stashed my wheelchair.

  I still had to figure out how Wyatt and I were going to get around town. Our only car was totaled, besides which I couldn’t drive. I’d never taken the city bus, and I didn’t know how I’d be able to manage it in a wheelchair with a three-year-old. The only solution I could think of was taxis and rideshares we couldn’t afford on top of the incoming mountain of Rachel’s hospital bills. What were we going to do?

  I put on a brave front as Dylan helped me into my chair and walked beside me to my apartment. There was always time later to fall apart. I’d (mostly) held it together today.

  Before we reached the door, it swung open to reveal Austin standing in the doorway with an exhausted but anxious expr
ession.

  “Trish. How’s Rachel? Is still stable?”

  “No change.” I gave him a grim smile as he stepped aside so I could enter the apartment. “She’s sleeping comfortably—or as comfortably as one can with three broken ribs and a lacerated kidney. The hospital said they’d call if there was any change. Is Wyatt—?”

  “Asleep.” Austin finished for me. “He and Blue ran around the park forever. He’s uh, actually not sleeping alone.” Austin ran a hand over the back of his neck and gave me a sheepish look. “I couldn’t get Blue out of Wyatt’s bed without waking the little guy up. But Blue is clean. I gave him a bath a few days ago, but uh, yeah. Sorry.”

  I laughed. “That’s fine. Every boy needs unconditional love from a dog. Especially on a day like today. What did you—”

  “If you’re okay for the night, I’m going to take off,” Dylan interrupted from the door.

  “We’re all good here,” Austin answered for me. “Thanks for stepping in, bro. You were a ton of help today.”

  “Yes, thank you, Dylan,” I said then tried to curve my lips into a smile. I was just so damn exhausted.

  “Thanks again, Dyl.” Austin said before grabbing his brother in a one arm hug. He turned his head and murmured something I couldn’t hear. Dylan laughed softly and murmured a reply. Dylan walked away after another wave my way.

  “You have an amazing family, Austin. Thank you so much for sending them to the hospital. It was nice to have someone there with me.”

  He lifted a shoulder. “They wanted to. They all love Rachel too.”

  His eyes clouded, and he looked away.

  My heart ached for him. “You should go to the hospital tomorrow. I didn’t have the chance to tell Rachel what all you did for us, but I know she would appreciate it and want to thank you herself.”

  “She’s made it pretty clear that she doesn’t want anything to do with me, Trish. But I still want to be there for her and you and Wyatt if I can. I’ll have someone take you to the hospital tomorrow morning while I stay with Wyatt, if that’s all right with you. I’ll just stretch out on your sofa tonight.”