A Dance With Darkness (2020 Ed)
Page 13
Intimate. The word echoed in my frazzled mind. He’d said intimate.
I suddenly felt very, very shy, like I needed to launch to the other side of the stables where piles of hay had been stacked along the wooden walls. The thud of the rain on the roof over our heads was drowned out by the heavy beating of my heart, and the flickering torches on the walls highlighted the dangerous glint in Liam’s eyes.
He didn’t really mean it, I thought. Surely this fae didn’t want someone like me. I fell all over myself trying to do pretty standard things, and he’d seen first-hand how terrible I was with the bow. Not to mention the fact that I’d shown no signs of being a Summer fae.
He knew I wasn’t his mate.
With a light chuckle, he shook his head. “Come on, let’s get you inside the inn and out of those wet clothes.”
It turned out the inn only had four rooms, and three were taken. So, Liam and I were forced to share. Luckily, the bed had a double mattress instead of a twin, so we didn’t have to battle it out for space, though a part of me kind of wished we could. That said, we would still have to share a bed, and the room itself wasn’t particularly large. It was a tiny little space in the corner of the top floor with a single window overlooking the village square.
I was feeling a little...out of sorts, to say the least. Liam’s words from the stables had gotten under my skin, and I couldn’t help but wonder if he truly did want to break the rules. Rules that, I had to admit, made a lot of sense. There was clearly some sort of magic tied in to the whole idea of mates, yet it didn’t seem to fully kick in until changelings had spent some time in Otherworld. What if you were drawn to the wrong fae, only to find out you had a bond with another? It seemed like a lot of unnecessary drama.
“This was all they could find for us,” Liam said when he opened the door to the room. I’d stayed inside, perched on a knotted wooden chair, shivering while he went in search of some clean, dry clothes. He held up a white linen pillowcase and grinned.
I arched a brow. “You don’t really expect me to wear a pillowcase.”
“It’s not a pillowcase,” he said, chuckling, and then he closed the door behind him. “It’s a nightdress. It belonged to the owner’s ex-wife, but it’s the only thing she left behind. Unfortunately, it’s either this, your wet clothes, or your birthday suit.”
Cheeks flaming, I frowned down at the drenched clothes that were clawing at my skin. As much as I hated to admit it, I really did need to change. If I stayed like this, not only would I spend the whole night shivering, I’d have to wear damp, dirty clothes all the way back to the Academy in the morning. If I didn’t hang them up, they’d never get dry.
And I definitely wasn’t going to wear nothing at all.
As tempting as it was.
“Okay.” I held out a hand toward the pillowcase gown. “I’ll change, but not because you said so.”
He smirked and tossed me the gown. “No, I know why you’re changing. It’s because you don’t think you’d be able to control yourself if you were naked in the bed with me.”
I rolled my eyes and shoved the wet cloak off my shoulders. “Has anyone ever told you how full of yourself you are? It’s like your ego is ten times the size of your head.”
“My ego is exactly the right size, as is everything else about me.” He leaned forward and slid his finger along the hemline of my trousers. I froze, lungs squeezing. “Do you need help with those or are you just going to stand there gawking at me?”
Irritation flickered inside me, an emotion that was mixed with a hint of excitement. Somehow, Liam was able to simultaneously annoy the shit out of me and draw me in at the same time. That fact alone made me want to throttle him. And then make up for it by snuggling in close to his chest.
No, my inner voice roared at myself. Stop getting so distracted by the gorgeous fae.
I hadn’t come to Otherworld to flirt with every fae male who gave me attention. I’d come here to learn out to fight, to find out how to battle the monsters who had killed my best friend. At the thought of Bree, all the excitement and annoyance I felt toward Liam disappeared into a cloud of bitter sadness.
I stepped back and gave him a pointed look. “Turn around, please. I’m not going to change when you’re standing there watching me.”
His eyebrows furrowed. “What’s wrong, Norah?”
“Honestly, is it that hard to believe a girl doesn’t want to change in front of you? There has to be something wrong?”
With a sigh, he shook his head and turned his back my way. “Of course not. It’s just that two seconds ago, you had a look in your eye, one that made it seem like you wanted to climb on top of me. And then out of nowhere, you looked...well, sad.”
I shimmied in the trousers and pushed the soaking material to the floor before shrugging my damp t-shirt over my head. I took off my bra for good measure, but I kept my underwear on. After slipping the linen gown over my head, I tapped Liam on the shoulder. He hadn’t even tried to sneak a peek while I’d been changing, a fact I was strangely grateful for. I hadn’t expected him to show much respect for my wishes.
He turned and silently watched me drape my clothes over the a wooden railing by the window. He didn’t even make a crack about my lacy black bra. Instead, he strode toward me and tucked a finger beneath my chin, his fiery eyes searching mine for the truth.
“What’s wrong, Norah?” he asked. “And no, this isn’t about my ego. It’s not difficult to tell that something is wrong when your entire demeanor changes within the blink of an eye.”
With a sigh, I gritted my teeth and glanced away. “It’s Bree. I can’t stop thinking about the creature that killed her. I can’t stop thinking that maybe I could have done something to prevent it. And I can’t stop thinking that I need to focus on training instead of getting distracted by other things. It’s not fair to her.”
“I see,” he said quietly. “It sounds as though you haven’t had a chance to mourn her.”
“How would I have?” I asked, throwing up my hands. “Within an hour of her death, I was on my way to Otherworld, and I’ve barely had a moment to think since I arrived. Watch Duty, challenges, lessons. And now, trips to Courts. It’s been good to keep busy, but when the thought of her enters my mind, I feel like I’ve been punched in the gut. I didn’t even get to go to her funeral.”
I started crying. Liam winced and awkwardly rubbed my shoulders, clearly unused to comforting crying girls. After a moment, he pulled me close to his chest and rubbed the back of my neck, silently holding me while the grief poured out of my eyes.
The warmth of him cocooned me, the strength and steadiness of his body holding me together when I’d been so close to shattering apart. Bree’s death was still a sharp pain, a ripping in my gut. But Liam’s presence was almost like a salve spread across the very worst of it.
“I’m so sorry, Norah,” he said softly. “I know how much it hurts to lose someone you love to such a terrible gruesome death. You want to do something to avenge her. You want to fight back.”
I tipped back my head to gaze up at him. “You sound like you’re speaking from experience.”
His jaw rippled, and he nodded.
“Your parents,” I said softly, hoping that I wasn’t treading on ground that might break beneath the weight of my words. “Was what you told the Autumn fae true?”
“Every word of it,” he said bitterly. “Both fought in the war. For Queen Marin. Both died at the hands of the Autumn fae. I saw it happen with my own eyes. They were…ripped to shreds. By beasts the Autumn fae controlled. It was then I vowed I would do whatever it took to destroy the Autumn fae.”
My heart pounded in my chest. It sounded so painfully familiar.
“But I was reckless,” he said, shaking his head. “I got caught, along with dozens of my friends. They let me go after many, many years, but the others were not so lucky.”
“I’m so sorry, Liam.” Tears had filled my eyes as he spoke. I could feel the pain, as if it were my own,
as if it had taken up residence within my own heart. Liam had lost so much. And yet here he was. So powerful. So strong. It had not broken him.
Suddenly, I became very aware of how close our bodies were. My chest was pressed against his. Our thighs were brushing. And my hands were splayed across his biceps, the strong curves of them tensing beneath my fingers. I swallowed hard, trying to control the rapid beating of my heart, but it was no use.
It was impossible not to notice Liam. Everything about him demanded attention, from his flaming hair to the way he moved. No, the way he prowled.
“You’re looking at me that way again,” he murmured. The hands around my waist tensed, fingers tightening just enough to make my breath hitch. “Does talk of death excite you, Norah?”
“No,” I said, lungs shuddering. “I just couldn’t help but notice how you survived and came out stronger on the other side of it.”
A low growl rumbled from his throat. “I could say the same about you, darling.”
“Me?” I snorted. “The girl who can’t shoot an arrow straight?”
He smiled. “The girl who decided to fight instead of run when she was told what she was. You didn’t let your grief consume you. If that isn’t strong, then I don’t know what is, Norah.”
“I want to be strong,” I whispered. “I don’t want to be weak. I don’t want to be helpless ever again.”
His thumb brushed my cheek, and pleasure curled down my spine. “You are such an enigma. There is so much passion in your eyes.”
He was one to talk. His eyes practically blazed, scorching my skin from where he dragged his gaze across my face. I wet my lips, despite myself. Flaring my nostrils, I leaned closer and sniffed. The smell of summer filled my nose, and my mind reeled as if I’d downed half a dozen vodka tonics.
“Did you forget what I said about playing with fire?” he murmured, and then his mouth found mine. I gasped, curling my hands around his tunic. His lips were surprisingly soft and gentle. They moved softly against me, exploring. His hands tightened around my waist as I leaned into him, letting go all the pent-up fear and anger and uncertainty that had plagued me the past weeks.
All that existed was Liam. His strong chest was ridged with muscles. My hands drifted across it, and then settled on his broad shoulders. His kiss deepened, sending a flare of pleasure through my gut.
Suddenly, he lifted me from the floor. My thighs spread and curled around his hips instinctively. Between us, I felt the unmistakable bulge that said he was enjoying this just as much as I was. Heat pooled between my legs, and a heady ache settled in my core.
His mouth moved to my neck. The feel of his lips on my skin made me entire body tremble with a kind of need I’d never felt before. I think I must have moaned out loud, because he let out a light chuckle. “I think someone is enjoying herself.”
“You really do have an impressively big ego,” I whispered back.
“That’s not the only thing.” He chuckled again, and I couldn’t help but roll my eyes. I’d walked straight into that one. I would smack him, but…I kind of wanted him to keep doing that thing with his mouth.
He carried me across the floor and dropped me back onto the bed, gently cradling my head before it hit the mattress. Without another word, he climbed on top of me, and then braced his arms on either side of my head. My heart was a trembling mess, and my mind could barely lock onto a single lucid thought.
Was this really happening?
Should it be happening?
There were rules, and he wasn’t even my mate, and sometimes he really did annoy me, and—
Oh my god.
In the blink of an eye, he’d ripped the pillowcase gown in half, exposing my very braless breasts. Cool air swept across my already peaked nipples, hardening them even more. With a wicked smile, he lowered his mouth to my right breast and dragged his tongue across my nipple.
I shuddered, my body bucking beneath him. Pleasure sparked in my gut, and deepened the aching knot between my thighs. Breath held tight in my throat, I gripped the bedsheets with my fisted hands, clinging on for dear life. I didn’t think I could let go or I would get swept away.
“My god,” he whispered as he ran his thumb along my stomach. “You are so beautiful.”
My heart swelled. “No one has ever said that to me before.”
His thumb slowed as he drew his gaze up to my face. Confusion rippled in his bonfire eyes. “Never? Not even by the other men you have been with?”
I bit my lip, flushed, and glanced away.
“Norah,” he said softly, dangerously. “Have you been with a man before?”
I ground my teeth together. God, this was embarrassing. “No.”
With a curse, he shifted away, leaving a gulf of cold air in his wake. He blinked and shook his head, as if he were snapping himself out of a trance.
Cheeks flaming, I glanced down at where my breasts were still very much on display. Gingerly, I grasped the sheet and pulled it up to my chin.
“I’m sorry,” he murmured. “I shouldn’t have touched you like that, not when…”
“Not when I’m so horribly inexperienced?” I asked with an embarrassed laugh.
He caught my hand in his. Warmth flooded into my skin, as much as I tried to stop it. “No, Norah. Nothing of the sort.” His palm flattened on my cheek, and he gently angled my head toward his so that I could look into his eyes. They churned with need and something more. “But I am not your mate. And even then…there are the rules.”
“I thought you didn’t care about the rules.”
He chuckled. “I don’t. Most of the time. But it seems you’ve brought something new out in me. I want to do right by you, and I’m afraid if I take you now I’ll want to take you again. And again. And again a hundred times. But then it will have to end, and we’ll both end up in pain.”
My heart thumped. “But maybe you are my mate.”
“Do you truly believe that?”
Instead of answering, I asked my own question. “Isn’t there a part of you that thinks it could be the two of us? I feel…something.” I didn’t know how else to explain it. A spark, a tug, an undeniable urge to be with him sounded too strange to speak out loud.
“Lust?” He grinned and dragged his thumb across my jaw. “Oh yes, I feel that, too. But no, Norah. There isn’t a part of me that thinks you could be my mate. There has never been a Summer fae in the history of Otherworld who has been able to shift.”
My heart dipped. “I don’t think I like this mating business.”
“Hell, I don’t like it too much right now either.”
“Magic is weird, right?”
“It is very weird.”
“What else can Summer fae do, besides healing?”
He chuckled. “We are very good in bed.”
I pushed up onto my elbows and glared down at him before smacking him in the arm—gently. “Well now that’s just cruel.”
His grin widened, and he waggled his brows. “The cruel truth.”
“Oh, come on. You don’t expect me to believe that one of the Summer fae’s gift is the gift of…sex.”
“I guess you’ll never find out, now will you? It’s a shame. You would have enjoyed screaming my name. Over and over and over…”
My mouth dropped open. “I think your gift is being a smug, egotistical—”
“Come here.” He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me onto his chest, his muscles rippling beneath me.
My breath caught, and I stilled with my cheek plastered against his very taut pecs. “Um. I’m not going to complain, but I’m confused.”
“The rules say nothing about cuddling, and I’ll sleep far better if you’re close.”
My heart did a little flip-flop, and every cell in my body heated up a thousand degrees. He might be able to sleep, but I wasn’t entirely sure I would. His body under mine was very…distracting.
Still, there was something oddly comforting about his touch. The heat of him was like a soft, familiar blanket.
I had so many more questions I wanted to ask him, so many things I wanted to say. And there was a lot I wanted to do.
But it did not take long for sleep to drag me under. The last thing I heard as I drifted away was the steady thumping of his heart.
Dim sunlight streamed in through the tiny window overlooking the small Autumn village. I squinted as I opened my eyes, only to find Liam’s face mere inches from mine. We were turned toward each other on the bed, our shoulders digging into the hard mattress. He no longer held me close to his chest. His heart no longer beat beneath my ear. Had he pulled away in the night?
With a sigh, I climbed out of bed and felt my clothes where I’d hung them up. Thankfully, they were dry, so I wouldn’t have to ride all the way back to the Academy in this ridiculous pillowcase gown. That was ripped in half. From when Liam had almost claimed me as his…and then had pulled away, knowing that I wasn’t his mate.
I changed before Liam could wake, but I swore when I turned around, one of his eyes was partially cracked.
“Morning, darling,” he drawled with a slight smile. “You ready to get going?”
So he had been watching then.
“If we don’t head back soon, we won’t get back to the Academy tonight,” I said slowly. A part of me wished we could stay here longer. Just another day or two. I was eager to get back to my lessons, but this time with Liam had revitalized me in a way I hadn’t known I’d needed. I felt even more ready to take down the Redcaps than I had before.
And…I hadn’t hated spending time with Liam, even if I knew it could never be more than what it had been when we’d fallen asleep cuddled up together. Another night spent like that…I couldn’t say I’d mind it. Which was why I could have used another day or two like this. It might not be against the rules, but I doubted anything like that would ever happen behind Academy walls.
“Your wish is my command.”
We were back on the road within the hour. Luckily, the return trip to the Academy was much more uneventful than the ride to Esari. No one tried to stop us, probably because they realized we were on our way out of the Autumn woods rather than trekking in from somewhere else. The sun was still shining in the sky when the horse trotted back onto the Academy grounds. Within moments, we were surrounded by five fae, and every single one of them was pointing a sword our way.