Wrecked

by Deanna Wadsworth

  Determined for Rief to see him in the same flattering light as the man he’d created, Mathew reached out to touch him. Insides shaking, he ran his fingertips down one bare forearm. “May I kiss you?”

  “You can do whatever you want to me,” he breathed, gently touching Mathew’s coat, as if waiting for permission to go further.

  Those words, almost a plea, emboldened Mathew.

  He cupped Rief’s face in his hands, loving the scratch of stubble against his palm. Though his touch was welcome, it thrilled and terrified him to be so bold. To go after what he wanted.

  Tentative at first, Mathew drew Rief’s face down and delivered a few soft pecks to his lips. Rief held very still as Mathew took the lead, kissing his lower lip, then his upper. Soon they fell into easy discourse with their mouths. When he sucked on Rief’s bottom lip, his wrecker gasped, mouth parting in offering.

  Seeing an opening he dipped his tongue inside, sliding along the length of wet muscle, slowly going as deep as he could reach. He’d heard of this kissing with tongues but never imagined such a simple touch could ignite so many lustful feelings. He groaned when lips closed around his tongue, Rief sucking tenderly and making his cock hard. Shifting their faces on unspoken entreaty, they met again in a languid caress of lips, tongues swirling between gentle nips of teeth.

  He arched into Rief’s body and solid arms wrapped around him. Still holding on to Rief’s face, he slid his hands back over his jaw to coil in his hair, pushing his tongue out and savoring the warmth he found there. Hands roamed up then down Mathew’s back and cupped his bum carefully. He pressed his cock into Rief’s thigh in answer, eliciting a faint groan.

  Mathew slid one hand down to where Rief’s now-hard cock throbbed hot. The fabric was loose, and he traced the length, all the while continuing on with his slow, thorough kissing.

  Rief groaned, rolling his body against his. “Damn,” he whispered with a gasp. “I can’t believe you’re really here.”

  “Believe it,” he said and that simple, heady statement opened the floodgates.

  The kissing grew faster, the breathing harder. Hands that had once been slow now groped and rubbed, searching for purchase on any stretch of bare skin they could find. Rief drove his hands under Mathew’s coattails, gripping at his ass and yanking him closer. Hissing from the sharp sensation of cock pressed to hard man, Mathew drew back and frantically began to unbutton Rief’s shirt.

  “Now you decide to button the damn thing,” he half-growled as he struggled to reveal the man’s chest.

  Rief grinned, fumbling to take off Mathew’s jacket. “But I only have one layer.”

  “Touché.” Chuckling, Mathew stepped back to divest himself of his coat. It barely hit the floor and Rief had already tossed his solitary shirt to the side.

  When his pants dropped, Mathew gasped at seeing him fully naked for the first time. Rief was hard and angular, the hair on his belly thicker where it met his cock. Chest and arms bronzed by working shirtless in the sun were darker than his lower body. Overall his skin had a lovely olive color, and those hazel eyes twinkled with amusement when they caught Mathew staring.

  Frantic, Mathew removed his vest, shirt, and undershirt, all the while unable to look away from Rief’s groin. He’d felt that organ in his hands the night before, but hadn’t had a good chance to examine it. Longer than his own, the shaft curved upward, solid and menacing, but beautiful.

  Oh so beautiful!

  Naked and smirking, that one cheek dimpling adorably, Rief crossed his arms, waiting.

  “Next time I won’t wear so many layers,” Mathew promised. Still in trousers but unable to wait, he rushed forward until their bodies collided in a hard, desperate embrace.

  The prickle of body hair against his chest delivered a riot of exotic sensations. Mathew ran his palms up and over those shoulders, down to his solid, carved abdomen, the white of his own hands against sun-darkened flesh an erotic feast for his eyes. “I love how you feel.”

  “Then please don’t stop touching me,” Rief begged, breathless as he rubbed against Mathew’s chest.

  The sound of his need sent impatient hunger roaring through Mathew. He reached between their bodies and took Rief’s length in hand, adoring the solid feel, the heat and softness of the skin. Rief groaned when his fingers brushed the tip. With both hands, Mathew studied the contours of his cock, marveling how different it was than his own. Slowly caressing his shaft, he ran fingers under the ridge and pressed his foreskin all the way down to reveal the round head dripping with pearly fluid.

  “You leak a lot more than I ever have,” he observed, fingering the bead of wet.

  Squirming, Rief chuckled. “If you keep doing that, tonight will be a whole lot shorter than I intend it to be.”

  “Let’s move to your bed, then,” he suggested with a grin.

  “God, yes,” Rief all but whimpered.

  Mathew headed behind the sail hanging from the ceiling, where he surmised the bed must be. Guessing correctly, he turned for a kiss but Rief was lighting a candle. Then he used it to light one candle after another, until the room blazed with light.

  “So many?” he questioned. There were at least six lit now.

  Rief shot him a dark and eager look. “I need to see the colors of your naked skin when we make love.”

  “Oh, that’s a brilliant idea. I want to see you too,” he said, desire consuming him as he sat on the edge of a bed made up with fresh, clean linens.

  When Rief joined him, naked and ripe for the taking, Mathew brushed a hand across his cheek, pulling his supple mouth in for another kiss. It felt like the most natural thing in all the world, to fall into kissing him. Like somehow Mathew was entitled to touch Rief in such a way. That in this moment Rief belonged to him and no one else.

  “How long can you stay?” Rief asked, between little kisses across his jaw.

  “I don’t know. I hadn’t really thought that far.”

  “These things are usually kinda rushed.”

  “I don’t want to rush,” he said, panicked at the thought of his night with Rief shortened. “Till morning?”

  “You’ll have to leave before that. We can’t risk anyone seeing you.”

  His shoulders slumped. Just because he was learning to embrace who he was, didn’t mean he could allow anyone else to discover the truth. Laws in the Americas couldn’t be very different from those at home. He couldn’t afford to become so caught up in excitement and desire that he did anything foolish.

  Men like them had to be careful. Why was he constantly forgetting that while in Rief’s company?

  After lying to himself for years, about what he needed and who he wanted to be, he might not be able to change the world, but Mathew had changed, even if he couldn’t allow others to know why.

  Rief cupped his chin and made Mathew look at him. “Where did you go just now?”

  That touch drew him back, and he smiled. Gazing at the naked man in bed beside him, he refused to allow fear or shame to tarnish this beautiful night.

  “Nowhere,” he whispered, brushing the hair off Rief’s brow so that he could memorize his every detail. “I’m right here.”

  Rief smiled, leaning into his touch. “Are you sure? I feel like I’m dreaming.”

  “I am quite sure this isn’t a dream,” he said, kissing him lightly. “You don’t taste this good in my dreams.”

  “You dream about me?”

  “Constantly.”

  Rief ran a hand up his chest, his throat, sliding fingers through his hair. “Then you must have some idea of what you want?”

  “I want you.”

  He chuckled. “But what do you want to do.”

  “I thought we were doing it.”

  “I meant what else would you like to do? I want tonight to be special. My first time was... less than wonderful. I don’t want that for you. Is there anything you’ve ever wanted to try?”

  His usually vivid imagination had a hard time working with Rief so warm and cl
ose, caressing him. “I liked what we did yesterday very much.”

  “Me too,” he agreed with a tiny smile. “Anything else?”

  Wanting to do this with authority and not sound as ignorant as he felt, Mathew needed to show the confidence Rief deserved. “Well, it sounds as if you have something in mind. Why don’t you tell me what you like, and we can select a few specific activities.”

  Rief chuckled at his businesslike tone, but there was no derision in his voice, no mockery. “I like kissing you.”

  Smiling, Mathew stroked his chest. “We should definitely keep that on the itinerary, seeing as we both enjoy it.”

  “I’d like to suck your cock too.”

  “Oh!” He felt his cheeks redden. “That was something I had thought of, but I didn’t....”

  Rief gently touched his face, his expression serious. “You don’t have to be embarrassed with me, Matt. There’s no need for secrets in this bed. Here, we can just be ourselves.”

  Licking his lips, Mathew spoke with confidence. “I should very much like for you to suck my cock, then.”

  Laughter danced around them, and Rief kissed up his neck to suck on his ear, an erotic promise of what his mouth could do elsewhere.

  Craving the weight of a man’s body atop his own, Mathew inched back on the bed, drawing Rief with him until he rested between his legs. He groaned from the solid feel of being covered by Rief—it was just like his dream! He arched up, exposing his throat where Rief nuzzled him, nipping and biting.

  Oh, this was so much better than he’d imagined!

  “What else do you like?” Mathew whispered, body throbbing. “I want to please you.”

  “I like the scent of a man’s sweat.” He raised Mathew’s arm in the air and buried his face in his armpit, inhaling deep.

  When he ran his tongue through the hair, Mathew giggled and pulled free. “That tickles!”

  Chin against his chest, he looked up, eyes sparking gold in the candlelight. He reached for Mathew’s trousers, teasing him by not going inside. “Know what else I like?”

  All but bursting for Rief to free his cock and put it in his mouth, Mathew shook his head. He had a feeling he could just order Rief to suck him and he would gladly obey, but this illicit talking was really exciting him.

  Rief stroked him through the fabric. “I like it when a man shoves his cock in my mouth and takes hold of my hair and fucks my face until he spills down my throat.”

  “Oh, that’s very graphic,” he managed, breathless from the vivid picture those intoxicating words painted. His cock hardened as he visualized doing that to Rief. It seemed harsh, brutal even, but thrilling at the same time.

  “I love a man’s seed too.” Rief continued to rub his cock until Mathew’s vision blurred and he could barely catch his breath. “I love the warmth, the taste. There’s just never enough.”

  “I like to eat mine after I pleasure myself,” Mathew confessed, hardly able to believe he would say anything so wanton. Rief slithered back up his body, and he feared that he might burst from all this touching and shameless talk.

  “You know what my favorite thing is?” he murmured in Mathew’s ear, his lips and breath tickling. “When a man is fucking my face but he pulls out just when I think he’s going to shoot. Then he shoves his cock in my ass and fills me that way.”

  Up until that point it had all sounded quite exciting. “That would be painful.”

  Eyes dark with desire, Rief smiled at him. “It is sometimes, but it feels good too. To be taken, release everything and allow another man to control you.”

  Not liking the thought process behind the act, Mathew hesitated. He’d spent his entire life at the mercy of others, and couldn’t comprehend why anyone would want to be controlled. He studied Rief for truth. “You aren’t teasing. You really like to be buggered?”

  “Oh, it feels good. You’ll see.” He reached between Mathew’s legs and prodded near his hole.

  Startled, he flinched and wriggled away. “Don’t do that!”

  “Trust me, I—”

  “No!” he cried. “I won’t be treated like a woman.”

  Rief’s playful expression creased with confusion. “What?”

  “Women and mollies are the ones who take a cock,” he insisted, feeling a bit panicked Rief would want to use him in such a way. “I am neither, dammit. I’m a man.”

  “Oh, I know that.”

  But when he reached for him, Mathew stayed his hand. “Do you?”

  With a scowl, Rief sat back on his haunches, cock jutting out and hands on his hips. “What’s this about?”

  Face hot, Mathew looked away, but he was compelled to tell Rief the truth. “I cannot allow you to think of me in that light. Not if we are to become intimate. My father has berated me for years, saying I behave womanly because I am not as aggressive as he is... that I cry like a little girl,” he added in a whisper.

  “You’re upset about what I said at the lighthouse,” Rief said, voice alight with sudden understanding.

  “Yes, dammit!” Frustrated, Mathew attempted to sit up, and Rief shifted to give him the space to do so. “I won’t have you thinking I am less of a man than you are. I know I am smaller and weaker than you are, and a bit of a coxcomb. And I did cry like a woman last night, but dammit! That doesn’t mean I’m not a real man.”

  “Matt—”

  “No. You said we could be honest with one another, and that’s what I’m doing. I won’t be treated like a woman by you. I just won’t stand for it!”

  The silence following his declaration was palatable. Mathew refused to look at Rief for fear he had just ended this love affair before it began. All because of insecurities given to him by Father.

  How could that bastard ruin everything in his life? This night was supposed to be special, and Father’s hatred should have no part in it. Yet he could almost feel the man’s disapproving gaze, hear the mocking laughter as he called Mathew a pillow-biting sodomite, or whatever insult his cruelty might conjure.

  Why did Mathew allow him to have so much power over him?

  “Damnation,” he cursed, turning away and squeezing the bridge of his crooked nose to suppress his emotions. He’d fought these issues his entire life, and taking a consort had apparently not given him the confidence he’d imagined. As he had feared, he was nothing like the painting. He was nothing but a silly boy pretending to be a man.

  “Matt,” he said, placing a stern hand on his shoulder. “Look at me.”

  He shook his head, hating that he was this way, especially in front of Rief. Though his rejection would crush him, it would hurt far worse to have Rief consider him a lesser.

  “I’m sorry I made you feel bad,” Rief began, sounding contrite. “But I never, for one minute, thought you weren’t a real man. I was just angry you called the wreckers pirates.”

  “I shouldn’t have said that, and I apologize,” he said in exasperation, still refusing to look at him. “You work very hard and you deserve to be paid. You’re not a pirate or a thief.”

  “Thank you,” Rief said, sounding amused. “And you’re not a little girl.”

  Dropping his hands onto the bed, he faced Rief. “Then why do you want me to take your cock like a woman?”

  “I wasn’t implying one of us should be the woman and the other the man,” he said with a patient expression. “We’re both men. That’s the whole point, isn’t it?”

  Some of his apprehension waned at such a logical statement. “You must think I sound like a petty child. Perhaps I just don’t know how this is supposed to work.” He made a disparaging sniff. “Well, we both know that I don’t know how any of this is supposed to work. But I cannot”—he gestured helplessly at his groin—“perform if I feel like you’re imagining me to be some molly down at the docks wearing a dress.”

  Eyes wide, Rief covered his mouth to stifle hilarity. Mathew opened his own to demand he not mock him, but Rief placed a finger to his lips. “Matt, I’m sorry, I don’t mean to laugh, but you
gotta believe me, I could never look at you that way.”

  “So you don’t want me because I’m like a woman?”

  Rief let out a bark of laughter. “Good God, no! If I preferred women in my bed, my life would be a whole lot easier, don’t you think?” He placed a large, warm hand on Mathew’s shoulder, whispering, “You saw my painting. You’re very much a man to me.”

  Feeling foolish, he crossed his arms and glanced away. “And you know I am not that man. I want to be, but....”

  Rief kissed his head tenderly, brushing his hair back and forcing their eyes to meet. “My gift only paints the truth, Matt, so you are that man. I see the real you. The one you haven’t allowed others to meet yet. The man I’ve dreamed about my entire life. You’re kind and smart. Showing emotion doesn’t make you less of a man, nor does it lessen my opinion of you. How could it? You accept me without question, while others hate the very sight of me. You’re courageous and strong. The man I’ve painted lives within you.” He kissed him then drew back, his eyes wide. “He is you!”

  He studied his lover’s face. “You really believe that, don’t you?”

  “With all my heart.”

  Having Rief so close, touching him this way, he could almost believe it, too. The faith in Rief’s eyes, his almost frantic need for Mathew to be the way he saw him, rekindled the fragile confidence he’d felt earlier.

  A sly smile played with Rief’s lips, and he slid his hand down Mathew’s chest, issuing a few strokes over his cock. “And, if you don’t mind, I’d like to have him back.”

  He bit his lower lip, hissing as Rief’s hands and beautiful words began to revive him. “So you’re not upset? We’re still going to...?”

  “A million times yes! Matt, I don’t care who’s what goes where. I just want to be with you for as long as you’ll have me.”

  “Well, if you like to be buggered....” The word sounded so coarse and dirty he allowed the comment to taper off.

  “I prefer to call it getting fucked.” Running his fingertips up the side of Mathew’s hip, he paused, tracing a tiny circle over his bare waist. “Or making love,” he added softly.