STORM: IT'S A CURSE TO REMEMBER

by Gurpreet Kaur Sidhu

  “I wasn’t going to say anything,” she said as her eyes flicked away. “You’re still in your pajamas,” Venice pointed out. “What’s going on, darling?”

  Evan looked genuinely confused. “What are you talking about?”

  It was a Saturday and being in pajamas was comfy.

  “You’re not the kind of person who leaves things unfinished,” she said, subtly eyeing the stack of papers. “You haven’t been the same ever since you started remembering your past life, and I know this breakup wasn’t easy either.”

  Evan wasn’t much the feelings kind of guy. He wasn’t comfortable talking about a situation unless he felt the need to. With Venice being a professional therapist, Evan never felt comfortable letting her in, but somehow she always managed to lure Evan in and just as he started to express his thoughts, coincidentally she had to be “somewhere” or was “going to be late for a session with a patient.” It was almost as if she wanted him to explore his feelings on his own, and the only way to achieve that goal was by her poking her way in.

  He analyzed his blue mug all around, finding it to be flawless. “So much has happened in the last couple of months. I’m trying to figure out where to go from here.”

  She nodded. “I know it’s hard when people walk out of your life. I understand that, but you can’t keep moping around here and feeling sorry for yourself.”

  “I’m not doing that,” he quickly answered. His eyes met hers for a moment before they traveled back to his mug. “I’ve been doing some productive research,” he added.

  “Oh darlin’, are you still trying to figure out what your past life memories mean?”

  “The Sikhs believe that you’re reincarnated over and over because of your previous life’s wrongdoings. Reincarnation ends when you live a rightful life and that’s when you get to become one with God.”

  “Will you stop with that nonsense? You’re not even a Sikh!”

  Evan nodded. “True. But it’s one reasonable explanation. There are some people out there who remember their past life but it’s just something they remember. Unlike them, I’m taunted by these memories, over and over. It’s not normal Grandma. There’s a meaning behind it. There has to be.”

  “You’re being ridiculous. You’re wasting your time with this, Evan. I know you don’t like to hear it but I have to be honest here.”

  “Let me ask you this then. Why is it that when I wake up, I feel like I’ve done something wrong? I feel guilty for something I did in another lifetime, another place. That feeling lingers throughout the day.” He looked at her sternly. “Something’s telling me that there’s a bigger picture here. I’m not gonna stop until I figure it out.”

  Venice sighed, not knowing what else she could say or do that would convince Evan to give up chasing a memory that meant nothing. To Venice, Evan was chasing a ghost. She wasn’t sure how long it would be before Evan realized he was wasting his time and put it all behind him.

  As long as he was on winter vacation, he had every minute to spend analyzing, researching about this phenomenon that he couldn’t explain.

  “Have you met your next-door neighbor yet? It’s been a while since they moved in, haven’t they?” Venice asked, changing the touchy subject.

  “No,” he said pausing for a moment, wondering how long it had been since the house was sold. “I’ve seen their car parked out in front when I go for a run, but that’s about it.”

  “Is dinner at Denise’s this time?” she asked, taking another sip.

  “Yeah. She’s going to the hospital afterward to see Ryan. So I’ll be babysitting Nate.”

  There was dead silence in the room. Venice never discussed what happened the night Ryan was sent to the hospital. In the past, when Evan or Denise asked whether or not Ryan would make it through, or why Venice never warned Denise, she would change the subject. Neither of them knew whether or not Venice hiding Ryan’s accident was a good or bad thing.

  “How is she?” she said, taking a deep breath.

  Evan broke eye contact. “Not much has changed, Grandma.”

  “She’s not still upset with me, is she? I want to give her some space but she needs to understand I was doing the right thing. I’m always trying to protect this family and…”

  “I know, Grandma but that’s not how Denise sees it. It’s going to take her some time to come around. Give it some time.”

  Venice let out an anxious sigh.

  “She’s been short with me ever since.”

  “I know,” he said softly.

  It pained Venice to know that Denise indirectly blamed her for Ryan’s accident.

  He retrieved Venice’s glass once she was finished and placed it in the sink. He looked out the kitchen window and saw the unfinished garden that he had planned to finish during the break. Mud was all around the garden and holes all around the fence. It seemed as if a gopher had made its way around the premise, trying to make itself at home.

  Every morning while drinking coffee, he stood in front of the kitchen in his pajamas looking out the window and thinking about getting to work—perhaps doing some landscaping, changing the atmosphere of the garden his mother once planted. He had a lot in mind with what he wanted to do with the garden. Evan envisioned a long pathway that separated a Japanese garden on the left-hand side with a koi fishpond. He’d planned on building a bridge that would cross over the pond. He wanted to work in a waterfall, loud enough to drown away surrounding noise. On the opposite side of the pathway there would be grass where Nate could play soccer, and someday he would kick the ball around with his own children. There would be simplicity and tranquility once he stepped into his backyard, something that he longed for. At the end of the pathway, he pictured a gazebo where he could sit back and relax and let the worries of the day slip away. He imagined Harmony sitting beside him, his arm wrapped around her. They were supposed to grow old together with the changing world, but the one thing that wouldn’t change would be the two of them sitting together and simply enjoying each other’s company.

  “This is another one of your projects that are yet to be completed, I see.”

  Evan chuckled.

  “Harmony and I were supposed to finish the garden, but things don’t always pan out the way you’d hope,” he said with a forced smile. Life had a funny way of proving how plans were ultimately a human’s way of trying to control life. “I bought a gardening magazine from the nursery downtown. I’ll finish it.”

  Venice raised an eyebrow, not completely sure if Evan had this gardening project under control, or his life under control for that matter. The unfinished family album said so otherwise.

  “I hope so,” she said, planting a kiss on Evan’s forehead. “Take care of yourself, sweetie,” she said before making her way to the front door.

  Evan stood in the doorway and watched as Venice got behind the wheel. Moments later he heard the engine come to life.

  Before she pulled out of the driveway, Venice looked back at Evan and waved goodbye. All she managed to think about was what was going to happen in the next week. As always, she was guilty for keeping this secret to herself for all these years but never found the right time to come out and tell Denise and Evan something that they should’ve known years ago. She felt burdened with this secret. Venice would go over the scene of how she would tell them the truth, but the fear kept her from coming to terms with what she hid from them. Her grandchildren may hate her for the rest of their lives.

  The truth was going to come out soon, but how prepared was she?

  And like before, she was stuck right in the middle.

  But as always, the universe always managed to throw a curveball at her.

  Chapter 3

  Venice sat in her office with her worn out diary resting on her lap. Some pages were loose and the writing from the beginning of the diary was now faded. She had her diary ever since she made her
first prediction. Everything that she had predicted was noted and every prediction that occurred was written to the exact detail from memory—the time, date, place, people who were involved.

  Venice’s mind was fixated on Evan and Denise. The future was heartbreaking. It made Venice lose all interest in helping her own patients. She was furious, sad, and angry at what was going to happen. There was nothing that she could do to stop any of it from happening either. Even if she did take action, consequences would soon follow. This gift at times seemed like a curse.

  Venice closed her diary and shut her eyes. She needed to take a mental break before her next patient.

  Just as she started to drift off, the unexpected knock on the door startled her.

  “Venice, there’s someone here to see you,” said Candice Bridge, Venice’s secretary. Candice quietly slipped into the room, closing the door behind her.

  Candice was a tall brunette, who liked to dress in floral and silhouettes regardless of what the weather was like. She loved wearing bright lipsticks and heavy mascara.

  “Who is it?”

  “He wouldn’t say, but he claims he knows you very well.”

  “He refused to give you his name?”

  “I told him you wouldn’t see him unless he had an appointment.”

  “And?”

  “He sent me in here,” she said, flustered.

  Venice thought about it for a moment. The light bulb went off in her mind. It wasn’t often that she had unexpected visitors but she knew exactly who it was.

  “Okay, send him in.”

  The old woman leaned over and pulled open the bottom drawer of the rectangular table next to the chair where she placed her diary.

  Even though she knew who he was, it took her back a bit when Bruce walked into her room. She could see Bruce was aging well. His hair had started to gray. He was a lot thinner than the last time she saw him. Candice closed the door behind him.

  “I wasn’t expecting to see you so soon.”

  “Not all your predictions are on point, from what I recall,” Bruce said. He made himself comfortable on the sofa across from Venice, with the coffee table separating them. He unbuttoned his blazer, crossing one leg over the other. “So how’ve you been? What’s new around here?”

  “Bruce, it’s really nice seeing you, but you’re here for one of two things. Which one is it?”

  “I can’t come and see how you’re doing once in a while? Do I need a reason to be here?” He chuckled.

  Venice sighed, knowing with Bruce there was always a reason. “What do you want?”

  Bruce kept steady eye contact with her before breaking the tension. “I think it’s time to tell them the truth. They deserve to know what happened, what really happened that day, and I think you would want the same for them.”

  “I agree, but I don’t think you’re ready. I see you once in a blue moon. You don’t even make appointments anymore, which is a risk on your end,” she said, aggravated. “You can’t show up whenever you please then disappear until who knows when. They lost their mother and then their father. I can’t have you breaking their hearts again.”

  “I didn’t come here to get your permission.”

  “I know you didn’t come here to get my permission. You’re a grown man. You just want someone to tell you not to go forward with it. See, you’re still a little skeptical about telling them the truth because then it’s out there in the open. What if they don’t want you in their life? I bet that thought ran through your mind a hundred times, didn’t it?”

  Venice was boiling with anger inside. She knew this moment was a long time coming but still, she felt the emotions, which were out of her hands. She was only human for heaven’s sake.

  “If you really wanted to tell them, you would have told them a long time ago, regardless of what was going on in your life at the time.”

  “You know exactly why I chose to do what I did!” Bruce shouted.

  While Candice was supposed to be busy answering phone calls, making appointments for Venice, instead, she found herself listening to Venice and Bruce’s conversation through the wall. Candice had never seen or heard of Bruce the entire time she’d been working for Venice, which was almost three years now. But she knew one thing: there was a long history between the two of them. And who was “them” they kept referring to? She continued to listen as she pretended to appear busy.

  “I left because I couldn’t handle it,” Bruce said, raising his voice. His veins bulged from underneath his skin as he defended himself. “My life was a wreck. Do I have to remind you what happened? I couldn’t tell them because I couldn’t handle the thought of them rejecting me or looking at me just like the way they looked at me when their mother died. But I’m at a place in my life where I’m ready.”

  “You have no idea what’s going on in their lives right now,” she objected.

  “If you let me be a part of their lives, maybe I would know something. You’re the one who told me to leave, remember? And that’s what I did. Look where it got me.”

  “I never said not to come back! You made that call. I waited for you to show up. I waited for a phone call, but you never called.” Venice held back the tears that had crept up on her as her voice rose. “I did what I had to do. So don’t pin this on me. I wasn’t the one who walked out on their family. You had every breathing second to come back home…but you didn’t. It wasn’t easy on me either, Bruce.”

  “You think I had it easy? For the past twenty-seven years, I wasn’t living the life. I wasn’t taking it easy if that’s what you think happened. You knew Geneva was having an affair and you kept that from me. Do you have any idea how I felt when I found out you knew about the affair the entire time? It made me question my entire childhood. It made me wonder what else you hid from me.”

  “I didn’t have a choice,” Venice hissed.

  “I was the reason why Geneva was unhappy. I’m the reason why she killed herself. I couldn’t look at Denise and Evan because I was the reason why they lost their mother.” His lips quivered. The day Bruce discovered Geneva’s limp body came rushing back. Bruce took a long deep breath and composed himself before continuing. “Evan and Denise need to know their mother wasn’t killed in a car accident. They deserve to know what really happened. I can’t have them questioning their childhood like I did. They need to know the truth, Mom, and I’m going to be the one to tell them.”

  Venice sat in her chair, going back and forth in her mind about what the right thing was to do. She knew Evan and Denise deserved to know the truth about what happened that day. They needed to know why she told them the horrible lie about their father having a heart attack while driving, leading to a fatal car crash that took his life and their mother’s. All the lies she told Evan and Denise were catching up to her now. She knew one day the lies would haunt her. However, her predictions were off. Venice predicated she would be dead by the time Bruce came around to telling Evan and Denise the truth. The ambiguity in her predictions made her question herself.

  “Are you working right now?” she asked, switching the subject.

  Bruce looked a little confused. “What’s that got to do with anything we’re talking about?”

  “I’m asking you a simple question. Either answer it or see yourself out.”

  Bruce stared at her for a second before responding. She was firmer since the last time he’d seen her. “I’m a contract worker. People hire me to fix things for them.”

  Judging by Bruce’s fancy sleek gray suit, Venice sensed Bruce wasn’t telling her the entire truth.

  She pursed her lips. “How long have you been a contract worker?”

  “Ever since I left. Why does this matter?”

  Venice looked down at her watch.

  “Bruce, we’re going to have to discuss this another time. I’m expecting a patient in just a little bit and I don’t like t
o keep any of my patients waiting.”

  “What’s there to discuss?” Bruce said. He rose from the couch and fixed his cufflinks. “I said what I needed to say. I wasn’t asking you for your blessing.”

  Venice remained seated in her chair. She wasn’t at all pleased with Bruce or the way he was going to handle this delicate situation. Ever since Bruce learned the truth about Geneva, there had been friction between the two of them. Although Venice knew Bruce resented her for it, which she accepted, she didn’t want the same outcome for Denise and Evan. Bruce was too stubborn to understand that timing did in fact play a huge role in coming clean.

  When the time was right, Bruce wasn’t ready. Now that Bruce was ready, Denise and Evan were not prepared, given with everything that was going on in their lives.

  “Like I said, Evan and Denise have the right to know what happened, but not right now,” she said, slipping back on her glasses.

  “Who are you protecting anyway?” Bruce asked, raising his voice once again. “I don’t think it’s about Evan and Denise anymore. You’re just trying to protect yourself.”

  Venice was taken aback by his comment. “I’ve been protecting this whole family from the moment you were born,” she said calmly. She looked deep into Bruce’s eyes and saw the little boy he once was, following her around the house as soon as she got home from work. She remembered the tears Bruce had in his eyes when he held Denise for the first time. Now, Venice didn’t recognize who was standing before her. “Close the door on your way out and never raise your voice with me again.”

  Bruce stood still for a good moment before walking out of the room.

  Once the door closed behind him, Venice began to weep. She felt the world turning against her. She knew Evan and Denise would be furious with her for keeping this secret from them for so long. The thought of losing Evan and Denise made her heart ache. Every choice she made was to protect her family, and some of the choices she made in the past were coming to haunt her now. She knew if she had told Bruce that Geneva was having an affair, in time Bruce would’ve killed himself. On some level, she knew she was being selfish for keeping the secret from him, but it came down to losing either Geneva or Bruce. Not all of Venice’s predictions were correct, but she didn’t want to risk losing her only son. So, Venice did what any mother would’ve done in her position given the circumstances.